University of Virginia Library

Fall Blight: Scenery Lacks Greenery

By STEVE JOHNSON

If you've been able to keep your
head up and managed to avoid the
incessant stream of two-wheeled
monsters nipping at your elbows on
those early morning treks to and
from class, you may have noticed
the ever-changing scenery around
the Grounds. Green has turned to
yellow, red, and brown; fall's here.
Rejoice?

We all marvel at nature's beauty
with the coming of fall. The
landscape is alive with brilliant
colors; the trees are splashed in
spectral array; but the ground is
gray and black. It must be the
blight!

The blight is not easily
controlled or even recognized until
its too late. Some of its more
well-known disguises take the form
of iron; asphalt; gravel; cement; and
plain, old filth. It causes various
diseases such as MS(Multiple
Sterility) and Diarrheas (of the
Grounds)-man's answer to nature's
population explosion. The blight's
everywhere!

What was once a beautiful
amphitheater, with a plush green
carpet surrounding it, has been left
in ruins. The blight has worn away
the carpet and covered it over with
cement and gravel. The University
faculty, in a vain attempt to stop
this unnecessary desolation,
continually threaten the blight with
their automobiles so that we may
all rest a little easier when we see
that everything possible is being
done to keep the disease under
control. The precedent set by the
faculty in these matters is gradually
catching on; more and more people
within the University community
are starting to leave their cars on
these blighted areas in hopes of
stopping the spread of a disease
that has already destroyed many
parts of the Grounds.

Student Council No Action

Just behind the amphitheater
(where, I am told, Greek tragedies
were once performed), there lies
the infamous Maury Hall obstacle
course. Recently, funds have been
requested by various University
groups to preserve the area; but as
yet, the Student Council has taken
no action.

The first obstacle, a well-placed,
elementary test of agility and grace,
lies at the northeast corner of
Maury Hall, where semi-swamp
conditions are simulated during and
after every rainstorm. Constructed
by those lazy and rebellious
students who refuse to follow the
established walkways, this obstacle
has remained a surprise trap for
unwary visitors for as long as
anyone can remember.

"Deadman's Dash"

To the left and down a long
flight of steps, we approach the
second pitfall. Extending from the
base of the steps to the mailbox
(just outside Cabell Hall), there's
the stretch veterans call
"Deadman's Dash" where failure to
yield the right of way to motor
vehicles can lead to disaster. At the
mailbox, enter Swamp Area No. 2,
a mucky morass, the result of the
faulty balance of students who
were unable to maneuver
successfully around Buildings &
Grounds Track No. 38 blocking the
sidewalk.

If you happen to be an English
major or at least, somewhat
concerned about that last ENWR I
paper, and have made the scenic
jaunt over to Wilson Hall, you may
have been lucky enough to catch a
glimpse of your fading childhood;
for there, just outside the building,
is your old, rusted, broken down
swing set. Yes, there in all its long
lost glory, your former status
symbol lies in shambles on the
ground, recast as some brilliant form
of art.

Surely the sculptor intended for
us to reflect on our past and
remember those swing sets for what
they really were-monumental
instruments of destruction-an
obvious plot by the Establishment
to break every bone in every child's
fragile frame. Recurrent dreams
about failing from great heights are
not uncommon even in this day and
time among those of us who
survived. The swing set, a
magnificent symbol of tyranny,
now lies helplessly on its side.

All shout: "Hurrah. Tyranny is
dead. Yea."; but why did they
dump it behind Wilson Hall?
(obviously a layman's point of
view.)

How often we have sat in Scott
Stadium watching the Wahoos play
their best brand of ball, when out
of the sky, to the delight of any
bored fan, leaflets come pouring
down on the crowd. Purple hot
dogs on purple forks! Amazing!
Mounds of litter lie at your
feet-the last wave of another
conquest by the blight.

If by chance you fail to pick up
your own personal leaflet souvenir,
any number may be found
anywhere from Alderman Road to
the Rotunda. So, keep calm, enjoy
the game; there'll be a few left lying
around for you.

After the game, it's back to the
dorm or apartment for a party; but,
as anyone will tell you, it's crazy to
follow the crowded sidewalks. In
the interest of self-preservation, it's
better to make your own private
path across the Grounds (except
that several hundred other jerks
have by now had the same
thoughts). Voila! An endless
network of muddy, brown paths
weave their way to various points
of interest around the University
and everyone is a little better rested
from not having to walk "the long
way around."

Indeed, not only the trees have
changed their hue, many other
objects of great beauty have either
faded, been hidden by trash (N.B.
prefabricated aluminum
classrooms), or been destroyed to
"make room for progress."

"So", we say, "We've done all
we can. Nothing does any good,
Forget the blight; we've got too
much else to worry about."

Very true and very original.