The three tours of Doctor Syntax In search of 1. The picturesque, 2. Of consolation, 3. Of a wife. The text complete. [By William Combe] With four illustrations |
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 | The three tours of Doctor Syntax |  |
Syntax.—
“What fancy has your folly led
To stuff with trash that poor girl's head:
To trump up a long list of lies About her ears, her nose and eyes,
That though you've been all Europe o'er,
You ne'er saw such a wench before:
And while your nonsense you were plying,
You knew, you fool, that you were lying.”
Patrick.—
“An't please your Rev'rence, 'twas but sporting
What a man says when he's a-courting.
Believe me, Sir, no ill was meant, And all was done with kind intent.
I met the maid, and could not balk My fancy for a little talk:
She seem'd well pleas'd—I did my best;
'Twas only making love in jest:
'Tis what I've heard that great folks do,
Whenever they are pleas'd to woo.
When I serv'd Col'nel Debonnair, I've heard him to a lady swear,
Though brown as chestnut, she was fair.
And faith, Sir, I have heard him tell A shrieking miss she sang so well,
That her sweet accents did inspire A notion of the Heav'nly quire.
I've heard him too, and not in fun, Tell a fat widow, like a tun,
That she was as a Venus made, A pattern for the Sculptor's trade;
He meant it true,—for she believ'd it,
And, with a thousand thanks receiv'd it.
But all these fancies are forgiv'n;
If e'er man went, he's gone to Heaven:
He was the best of men, all said Who knew him, whether live or dead;
For on one hard and well-fought day,
He on the cold stone lifeless lay.”
Syntax.—
“This is not the time or season
For me on serious points to reason:
But he who says what is not true, Whether he be a fool like you,
Or has th'acknowledg'd reputation Of being wisest in the nation,
Will have commited an offence
'Gainst virtue, reason, common-sense;—
For on the heart a Lie's a blot, Whether in palace or in cot.”
“What fancy has your folly led
To stuff with trash that poor girl's head:
To trump up a long list of lies About her ears, her nose and eyes,
That though you've been all Europe o'er,
You ne'er saw such a wench before:
And while your nonsense you were plying,
You knew, you fool, that you were lying.”
232
“An't please your Rev'rence, 'twas but sporting
What a man says when he's a-courting.
Believe me, Sir, no ill was meant, And all was done with kind intent.
I met the maid, and could not balk My fancy for a little talk:
She seem'd well pleas'd—I did my best;
'Twas only making love in jest:
'Tis what I've heard that great folks do,
Whenever they are pleas'd to woo.
When I serv'd Col'nel Debonnair, I've heard him to a lady swear,
Though brown as chestnut, she was fair.
And faith, Sir, I have heard him tell A shrieking miss she sang so well,
That her sweet accents did inspire A notion of the Heav'nly quire.
I've heard him too, and not in fun, Tell a fat widow, like a tun,
That she was as a Venus made, A pattern for the Sculptor's trade;
He meant it true,—for she believ'd it,
And, with a thousand thanks receiv'd it.
But all these fancies are forgiv'n;
If e'er man went, he's gone to Heaven:
He was the best of men, all said Who knew him, whether live or dead;
For on one hard and well-fought day,
He on the cold stone lifeless lay.”
Syntax.—
“This is not the time or season
For me on serious points to reason:
But he who says what is not true, Whether he be a fool like you,
Or has th'acknowledg'd reputation Of being wisest in the nation,
Will have commited an offence
'Gainst virtue, reason, common-sense;—
For on the heart a Lie's a blot, Whether in palace or in cot.”
| The three tours of Doctor Syntax | |