 | The Miser |  |
SCENE VI.
Enter EUCLIO.Eucl.
My mind misgave me, soon as I went out,
That I should go on a fool's errand: therefore
I went against the grain. There was not one
Of all our ward there,—no one there, whose business
'Twas to make distribution of the money.—
182
For tho' myself am here, my mind's at home.
Meg.
May health and happiness attend you, Euclio!
Eucl.
Heav'ns bless you, Megadorus!
Meg.
How is't with you?
Are you as hearty and as well in health
As you could wish to be?
Eucl.
(Aside)
'Tis not for nothing,
When a rich man speaks kindly to a poor one.
Now to be sure he knows I have got money;
And therefore he's so wondrous complaisant.
Meg.
How are you?
Eucl.
'Faith but poorly as to circumstances.
Meg.
If you are but content, you have enough
To live upon with comfort.
Eucl.
(Aside)
The old woman
Has told him of the gold:—yes, all's discover'd:—
The jade! I'll cut her tongue out, tear her eyes out,
When I get home.
Meg.
What is it you are muttering?
Eucl.
I was lamenting of my poverty:
I have a great girl unprovided for,
And can't dispose of her without a portion.
Meg.
No more;—take courage;—she shall be dispos'd of;—
I'll stand your friend;—say what you want, command me.
183
(Aside)
He asks and promises both in a breath:
He's gaping for my treasure, to devour it.—
And so he thinks to 'tice me like a dog,
By holding bread in one hand, and a stone,
Ready to knock my brains out, in the other!
I place no confidence in your rich man,
When he's so monstrous civil to a poor one:
If he holds out his hand to you in courtesy,
'Tis with design to gripe you.—Ah, I know 'em;
They are a kind of polype, that hold fast,
Whatever they once touch.
Meg.
Attend a while;
I've something, Euclio, to communicate
In common, that concerns both you and me.
Eucl.
(Aside)
Undone!—my money's stole,—and now he wants
To enter into composition with me.—
I'll in.
(Going.
Meg.
Where going?
Eucl.
I'll be back this instant.—
There's something I must look into at home.
[Euclio goes in.
184
I verily believe, that when I come
To ask him to bestow his daughter on me,
He'll think I only mean to make a jest of him.
Never was man so close and niggardly!
Eucl.
(returning)
Well, heav'n be prais'd, all's safe: if nothing's lost,
All's right.—But I was terribly afraid;
Before I went in, I was almost dead.—
(To Meg.)
You see I am come back;—your pleasure, Sir?
Meg.
I thank you.—Prithee now resolve me readily
In what I ask.
Eucl.
Provided you don't ask
What I don't chuse to answer.
Meg.
Tell me then,
What think you of my family?
Eucl.
'Tis good.
Meg.
My honour?
Eucl.
Strict.
Meg.
My actions?
Eucl.
Neither bad,
Nor wicked.
Meg.
Do you know what age I'm of?
Eucl.
I know you are advanc'd in years, as also
Advanc'd in circumstances.
Meg.
I have always
Thought you an honest fellow free from guile,
185
Eucl.
Oh ho, he scents the money.—
Would you aught farther?
(Going.
Meg.
Since we know each other,
And what we are, I you, you me, I ask
Your daughter for a wife; and may it prove
A blessing to us all, to me, to you,
And to your daughter!—Give me your consent.
Eucl.
O Megadorus, it but ill becomes
Your character to mock a poor man thus,
Who never gave offence to you or your's,
Or ever merited in word or deed
That you should treat me as you do.
Meg.
By heav'ns
I come not to deride, I do not mock you,
Nor do I think you merit it.
Eucl.
Then why
D'ye ask my daughter for a wife?
Meg.
To serve you,
And to promote my good through you and your's.
Eucl.
I'm thinking, Megadorus;—you are rich
And pow'rful, I am of poor men the poorest.
Now if I give my daughter to your worship,
It comes into my head, you'll be the ox,
And I the ass. When I am coupled with you,
Unequal to the load that you can bear,
I the poor ass shall founder in the mire,
And you the proud ox will no more regard me,
Than if I never had existed: you
Will treat me with disdain, and my own kind
186
I shall get stable-room from neither quarter:
The asses they will bite me, and the oxen
Will gore me with their horns.—The hazard's great,
To quit the asses to go herd with oxen.
Meg.
'Tis for your interest, the nearer you
Can form affinity with men of worth
And means. Accept my proffer, hearken to me,
And give me your consent.
Eucl.
But I can give
No portion with her.
Meg.
You need give her none.
She, that has virtue, has sufficient dower.
Eucl.
I tell it you, because you may not think
I've found a treasure.
Meg.
Say no more; I know it.—
You'll give her to me then?
Eucl.
O Jupiter!
I am undone! I'm ruin'd!
Meg.
What's the matter?
Eucl.
What noise was that there, like the crash of iron?
[Euclio runs in hastily.
Meg.
They're digging in my garden.—Hey! where is he?
187
He treats me with disdain, because he sees
I court his friendship. 'Tis the way of them:
If a rich man seek favour from a poor one,
The poor man is afraid to treat with him,
And by his aukward fear hurts his own interest;
Then, when the opportunity is lost,
Too late he wishes to recover it.
Eucl.
Returning. (to his Maid within)
If I don't tear your tongue out from the root,
I'll give them leave to unman me.
Meg.
Oh, I see
You think me a fit object for your sport,
Though at these years; but sure I don't deserve it.
Eucl.
Not I indeed;—nor could I, if I would.
Meg.
Well, will you now betroth your daughter to me?
Eucl.
Upon the terms I said,—without a portion.
Meg.
You do betroth her then?
Eucl.
I do betroth her.
Heav'ns prosper it!
Meg.
I say the same.
Eucl.
Remember,
'Tis the agreement, that she bring no dowry.
188
I shan't forget it.
Eucl.
But I know your tricks:
'Tis off or on, 'tis done or not done with you,
Just as you like.
Meg.
We shall have no dispute.
What hinders but the wedding be to-day?
Eucl.
'Tis best.
Meg.
I'll go then, and get all things ready.
Would you aught else?
Eucl.
Nothing but what you say.
Meg.
It shall be done. Your servant.—
(Calling at the door of his house)
Strobilus—
(Strobilus enters)
Here,—follow me directly to the market.
[Megadorus goes off with Strobilus.
| The Miser | |