 | A Duke and no Duke |  |
ACT II.
SCENE. The Palace.Enter Trappolin.
Trap.
This Dukes life is very pleasant! Did ever any
man come to preferment upon lighter terms, I
am made a Prince, and Father Conjurer goes to
the Devil for't.
Whose here my pretty little Rogue? I mar'l what makes
her at Court, tho' I fear this Affair will cost Lord Barberino a
Castration.
Fla.
Here is the Duke alone, whom I so long
Have sought for, to petition for repeal
Of my Dear Trappolin:—
I do beseech your Grace
Bereav'd of all her Joys.
Trap.
All her Joys; that's Me!
Fla.
I humbly beg
Poor banish't Trappolin may be recall'd.
Trap.
Dear Honeysuckle, she ev'n makes me weep.
Fla.
Great Sir, That you have Noble thoughts.
Trap.
I have so.
Fla.
The world is Witness, and by Consequence
A heart full of Commiseration.
Trap.
'Tis so; What a torment is this now, that I must counterfeit
with her? Fair Maiden rise; What is your Name?
Fla.
Flametta.
Trap.
Thou shal't fare the better for that:—Trouble not your
self, your Trappolin shall be recall'd; and I would I were sacrific'd,
if I do not love him as well as I do my self.—
Who comes yonder? the Princess.
Enter Prudentia.
Fla.
This is most Gracious.—
Trap.
Some of my roguy Lords talk't of hanging him, if er'e
he come home again; but upon my Honour I swear it, that if they
hang him, they shall hang me; and so set thy heart at rest.
Fla.
Heav'n bless your Highness.
[Exit.
Trap.
If this be the Princess, I'le be sworn Brunetto was in
the Right of it.
Prud.
Ten thousand Welcomes, Sir: I never found
Such tedious hours as since you left the Court.
Trap.
Fair Lady, come hither—You are our Sister you'l
say.
Prud.
I hope my Conduct Sir, has ne'er giv'n Cause
For you to doubt of my Relation to you:
I am your Sister Sir, and Servant.
Trap.
I am sorry for't.
Prud.
I do beseech your Highness, on what ground?
Trap.
For a Carnal Reason, that shall be Nameless. But since
we are Brother and Sister, we must content our selves as well as
we can.
I am surpriz'd at this: I heard indeed
His Language and Deportment was much alter'd;—
Sir, I am glad to see you safe return'd,
But should have been more joyful, had you brought
Your Dutchess with you.
Trap.
She'l come soon enough, never fear it: But Sister, To
our Affair in hand (for I am Vengeance hungry.) At my Return
here I found Brunetto in Goal, and it appear'd to be for
Love of you: Tell me Sister, can you fancy him?
Prud.
Your Will, Sir, is the square of all my Actions;
I have no Aversion for Brunetto's Passion:
Besides, his Quality, tho' yet conceal'd,
Is worthy of your Blood, he is a Prince;
His Name Horatio, and the second Son
To Savoy's Duke.
Trap.
My Friend a Prince; besworn I no more thought of
seeing him a Prince than my self: Sister, you shall have my
Consent to marry him, and so there's an end.
What's there to do?
Enter Officer.
Off.
Dread Sir, This is the Day and Hour, in which your
Highness is wont to determine Causes in your Chair of State
here. And accordingly here are several Persons come to appeal to
your Highness for Justice.
Trap.
What! Justice before I have Dined? I tell you, it is a
dangerous thing: I had like to have been hang'd once my Self,
because the Judge was Fasting;—Well, let them enter.
Well, here sits the Government: In the first place I would have
the Court take notice, that in Affairs of State, I think words are
not to be multiply'd, and I think so I shall not do so; and if I do
not, no body else must: So that in this Assembly, he that speaks
little, will speak better than he that talks much; and he that says
nothing, better than they both.
Wom.
I do beseech your Highness to do me Justice;
I have liv'd long with Fame amongst my Neighbours;
My Husband too bore Office in the Parish
'Till he was kill'd in fighting for your Highness,
And left me but this dear and only Daughter,
Whom this old Sinner has debauch'd,
And spoil'd her Fortune.
Trap.
Debauch'd? That is to say, lay with her? got her
Maidenhead.
Wom.
Your Highness has a most discerning Judgment.
Trap.
And how did he do this? Lawfully by the help of a
Pimp, or without it?
Wom.
O most unlawfully! For Sir, he has a Wife and Son too
of his own Inches.
Trap.
A Son of his own Inches; good.
Then the Decision of this Cause is easie:
Do you hear Woman, we will have that Son debauch'd, you
shall get that Son's Maidenhead, and spoil his Fortune.
Wom.
I do beseech your Grace, what?—
Trap.
No replying after Sentence.—Whose Cause is next.
[Another Woman stands forth.]
Wom.
Great Duke of Tuscany, vouchsafe to hear me:
I am a poor and helpless Widow, one
That had no Comfort left me, but my Child,
Whom this vile Minion Whipp the Coachman here
Being drunk, drove over him, and left him dead.
I do beseech your Highness, make my Case
Your own, and think what sad Distress—
Trap.
Hold, hold, I will have no flourishing—This Cause
requires some half a Minutes consideration more than the former:
Whipp you say, being drunk drove over your Child and
kill'd him; why look you Woman, Drink will make a Coachman
a Prince, and Vice versâ by the Rule of Proportion, a Prince
a Coachman, so that this may be my own Case another time;
however, that shall make no obstruction of Justice:—Therefore
Whipp, shall lye with you, and be suspended from driving,
till he has got you another Child.—
So please your Grace, this is still worse.
Trap.
No replying after Sentence—Whose next?
[A Puritan stands forth.]
Pur.
So please your temporal Authority.
Trap.
How now! my mortifi'd Brother of Geneva, what carnal
Controversie are you ingaged in?
Pur.
Verily, there is nothing carnal in my Cause: I have
sustained violence, much violence, and must have much compensation
from the ungodly.
Trap.
What is your Grievance?
Pur.
I will pour it forth in the words of Sincerity.
Trap.
I care not a Farthing for Sincerity, let me have it in
Brevity.
Pur.
This Person here is by Occupation a Mason or Tiler, as
the Language of the world termeth it; whilest therefore I stood
contemplating a new Mansion that I had prepared unto my self
at the same time that this Person occupied his Vocation aloft
thereon, or rather should have occupied; such was his wicked
negligence, that he fell from the top of the building most unconscionably
upon my outward man, even with all his carnal
weight, and almost bruised me unto the death, I being clad in
thin Array (through the immoderate heat of the Season) namely,
five Cassocks or Coats, seven Cloaks, and one dozen of quilted
Caps.
Trap.
Believe me, Sirs, a most important matter! If such
enormities go unpunish'd, what Subject can be safe? Why, if
any perverse Fellow take a Pique against his Neighbour, it is
but getting up 8 or 10 or 14 stories high, and so fall down upon
him as he stands thinking no harm in the Street: I do therefore
Decree, That this Tiler shall stand below, while you get
upon the Battlements of the House, and fall down upon him.
Pur.
This is still most monstrous.
Trap.
As for petty Causes, let them wait till we have
Dined—Eo, Meo, and Areo!—Come along Sister.
[Exeunt.
Lavin.
My hearts best Treasure, charming Isabella;
You are most welcome to the Court of Florence,
And when I lose the sense of such a Blessing;
And cease to make your happiness my study,
Let me become a Tributary Lord,
And hold my Birth-right at anothers will.
Isab.
Dread Sir, I know and prize my happiness:
Blest doubly in your Fortunes and your Love.
Lav.
My absence from Affairs so long, requires
My close Attendance now for some few hours;
Then I'le return to settle Loves Account,
With flaming heart at Beauties Altar bow,
And pay my Vows with double Adoration.
Mean while, our Princess and her Train once more
Shall welcome you to Florence:
Attend the Dutchess in.
[Ex. All but Lavinio and Guards.
The Face of things seems alter'd since I went;
Some strange fantastick humour has possest
In general the Citizens of Florence.
As yet I have met with none, but who amaze me;
And speak of Matters done by me, as if
I had been here before my Dutchess came.
Call Barbarino and Alberto to me;
They'l soon resolve—
[Barberino and Alberto appear through the Grates.]
Barb.
Most gracious Sir,
Pity your Subjects, and most faithful Servants.
Lav.
Confusion! Are my Eyes and Ears both charm'd?
Our Deputies whom we did leave in trust
Of our whole Power, chain'd, shackl'd, and in Jayl!
Set them at large, and in my Presence now
Before this Minute can expire, or I
Shall go distracted 'ere I know the Cause.
Sure some ill Spirit has possest
Barb.
The Duke of Florence our most gracious Master.
Lav.
Are not you call'd Barberino, you Alberto,
My prudent faithful Counsellours to whom
I left the Government of Tuskcany?
Alb.
We are your Loyal Subjects, tho' your Prisoners.
Lav.
How came you so?
Barb.
Great Sir, Your self knows well:
'Twas only for obeying your Commands.
Lav.
By Heav'n a general Plot upon my Wits;
Tell me the meaning, jest not with my Rage,
I charge you do not, therefore speak sense to me;
Or on your naked hearts I'le read the Riddle.
Alb.
Alass! what shall we say? Great Sir, you know
That none except your Royal self could do it,
And to your Sacred Justice we appeal
How far we have deserv'd.
Lav.
Perdition! Furies
Where will this end? Gods! I shall burst with Choler.
Be merciful good Heav'n, and give me Temper.
Alb.
Amen good Heaven: I fear the fatal want.
Lav.
Some Frenzie has on the poor Wretches seiz'd,
Or else they durst not thus to tempt my Fury.
Indeed I was too blame in threatning you,
Who so much need my pity: My good Lords,
I do beseech you to collect your Wits,
And tell me gently how you came in Prison.
Barb.
By the Prosperity of Tuskany
Your Highness left us there.
Lav.
When did I so?
Alb.
The self same time you went in Person thither to free
Brunetto.
Lav.
The self same time that I went thither
To free Brunetto: Death, whom? What Brunetto?
Barb.
Your Prisoner taken in the Mantnan Wars.
Iav.
The more I search, the more I am confounded,
Quite lost within a Labyrinth of wonders.
Alb.
Gods! how he speaks, as if all we were mad,
And he had done nothing.
Lav.
I will yet have patience:
That you are well, and Masters of your Sense.
Barb.
If e're your Highness knew us so we are.
Lav.
Yet give me leave to think what I do know;
I can sustain no more.—Come hither Captain.
These Lords affirm, that I put them in Prison,
How say you to't?
Capt.
Great Sir, your Highness did,
You saw them left in Custody that Minute
You free'd Brunetto.
Lav.
He's in the same Tale:
Tho' they are all alike depriv'd of sense,
Yet do they all agree in what they say;
But why, good Captain, I will reason't with you,
Should I desire Brunetto's liberty?
Would it not be a foul dishonour think you
To the great Family of Medices,
To cast away our Sister upon one
We neither yet know Whom nor What he is:
I pray you therefore Captain, if you have
Any small fragment of your Wits remaining,
Reply accordingly.
Capt.
Sir, It is certain,
That if your Highness should bestow your Sister
On such a one as you are pleas'd to mention,
The Conduct would surprize the world; but Sir,
I heard your self, distinctly I did hear you,
To call Brunetto, Prince Horatio,
The second Son to the Duke of Savoy.
Lav.
Vengeance!
My wonder, is so great, that I want words
Where with to give it vent: I see that all
My Subjects being distracted, think me mad.
Capt.
Nay more, Your Highness gave the Princess charge
That she prepar'd her self, for in two days
You'd see her marry'd to the Prince Horatio.
Lav.
Enough! Yet God's I'le hold my Reason yet.
Florence I left a most ingenious City,
But find it wofully at my Return
Possest with strange unheard of Lunacy.
I'd rather send for that Brunetto's head,
Than such a message as you say I did.
Capt.
Beseech your Highness look, let your own eyes
Convince you of the Truth of what I said.
Enter Brunetto; and Prudentia.
Bru.
Divine Prudentia, All thy Sexes Charms
In thee are centred, and from that fair Union
Receive a fresh unspeakable Addition;
Your Brother's good ev'n to a Miracle,
And gave me thraldom, but to raise my Joy.
Prud.
Indeed it speaks a Noble Nature in him.
To Crown Desert, though in an Enemy.
And now I must confess without a blush,
You long have been my hearts dear secret choice,
But never durst give Ear to your Addresses
'Till by my Brothers free consent allow'd.
Bru.
Said you Consent? Alass! That Name falls short
Of his Transcendent Grace: He's earnest for us,
Urges and drives us to the Bow'r of Joy.
Lav.
Furies and Scorpions drive you, Whirlwinds part you.
Prud.
My Royal Brother.
Lav.
Damn'd Infernal Creature!
More false than Helen, and the greater Plague.
Bru.
I did suspect at first 'twas his Distraction
That favour'd my aspiring hopes, and now
I fear't has chang'd his mind to my undoing.
Prud.
Wherein Dear Sir, have I deserv'd this Usage?
Was't not your Order?
Lav.
Sulphur choak thy voice:
I'le spend no Breath upon a thing so vile.
You Sir, My new made Favourite, come near
And tell me, are you Son to Savoy's Duke?
Bru.
Your Highness know's I am his Second.
Lavin.
I know you are his Second? Blood and Fire.
This Frenzy has seix'd him too.
Then know Sir, Were you Savoy's eldest Son,
And she shall rather in a Monastery
Sigh out a weary Life without Devotion,
Than be your Wife.—To Prison with the Boaster
'Till Savoy fetch him thence.
[The Guards hurry him off.]
Barb.
This relishes of Reason.
Alb.
Heav'n preserve
This temper, and restore the State of Florence.
Lav.
Come Lords, and lend your best Assistance to me;
Sleep shall not close my Eyes, nor food refresh me,
'Till we have search't this Mischief to the Core;
Wee'l stop at no extreams of Blood or Torture,
Baulk no rough Means that may our Peace secure:
Such desp'rate Ill's, must have as desp'rate Cure.
[Exeunt. manet Prudentia.
Prud.
Unhappy Florence! more unhappy I
To see a Prince and Brother thus decay'd,
Bereav'd of Reason, and made less than Man!
My Dear Horatio, grieve not at this Usage,
But rather pity thy Oppressors Fate.
Enter Trappolin.
Trap.
Whose here? the Princess in tears? Dear Sister, how
dost thou do? Come, I know your Grievance, and out of my
Natural affection have taken care for you; you marry the Prince
Horatio this Night.
Prud.
One Minute then has chang'd his sullen humour!
Why then Sir, have you made him a close Prisoner?
Trap.
A Prisoner say you?—Run Guards and fetch him
to our Presence.—Do not so much abuse your self dear Sister,
to think I would confine my Friend to Prison.
Prud.
You did it Sir this Minute, he's scarce there yet.
Trap.
Madam Sister, If I did, it was in my Drink, and certainly
I had some politick Reason for it, which I have now forgot.
—Some more Wine Slave to clear my Understanding.
Bru.
How soon his mind is chang'd? The Heaven's be
prais'd.
Trap.
Dear Prince Horatio an' you do not forgive my Locking
you in Prison, I shall never be merry again, and so here is to you
dear Prince Horatio.
Bru.
Upon my knees I pay my humblest Thanks.
Trap.
Come, come, Take her along Man, take her along, I
know Lovers would be private, and so agree the rest among
your selves.
[Brunetto leads off Prudentia.
[Barberino and Alberto passing over the Stage.]
Trap.
Who's yonder? my Lords Banishers at large agen?
will the Government never be able to drink in quiet for 'em?
Seize those Traytors there, and carry them to Prison. And do
you hear Sirrah, it shall be Treason for any body to let them out.
Off.
Unless by order from your Highness.
Trap.
Orders from my Highness? I tell you Rascal, it shall
be Treason to let them out, tho' I command it my self. Away
with them, go.
What Bona Roba have we here now?
Isab.
My Dearest Lord.
Trap.
For her Dress and Beauty, she may be a Dutchess, who
are you Madam?
Isab.
Do you not know me Sir?
Trap.
It seems she is none of the wisest, tho'.
Isab.
How am I alter'd since I came from Florence?
Trap.
Oh! 'tis the Dutchess: You are our Wife, you'l say?
Isab.
Sir:
Trap.
I am glad of it I promise you; come kiss then incontinently.
Isab.
What mean you Sir? You are merrily dispos'd.
Trap.
Madam Dutchess, I am somewhat jovial indeed, I have
been drinking freely, and so kiss me again.
Isab.
My Lord.
Trap.
You are a handsome Woman I promise you, and tell me
Madam Dutchess, am not I a proper handsome Fellow?
Sir, Do not jest with me, you know you are
The Man whom I esteem above the World.
Trap.
What a winning look was there too?—To Bed my
Dear, to Bed.—I'le but take 'tother Flask, to put State Affairs
out of my head, and then—Ah! ha! ha!
[Exeunt.
| A Duke and no Duke | |