 | The English Moor, or The Mock-Marriage |  |
Scene 2.
Nathaniel. Phillis.Nat.
Prithee be and answered, and hang off o'me,
I ha' no more to say to you in the way
5
Phi.
Nor do I seek to you
In that way which you wot on, wanton Sir,
But to be honest, and to marry me.
You have done too much the tother way already.
Nat.
I wish you were more thankful, Mrs. Phillis,
To one has taught you a trade to live upon:
You are not th'first by twenty I have taught it
That thrive well i'the world.
Phi.
There are so many
Such teachers in the world; and so few
Reformers, that the world is grown so full
Of female frailties, the poor Harlotries
Can scarce already live by one another,
And yet you would have me thrust in among 'em.
Nat.
I do not urge you. Take what course you please,
But look not after me: I am not mark'd
For Matrimony, I thank my stars.
Phi.
Should I run evil courses, you are the cause;
And may in time, curse your own act in it:
You'l find th'undoing of an honest Maid
Your heaviest sin upon your bed of sickness;
Twill cost your soul the deepest groan it fetches;
And in that hope I leave you.
Exit.
Nat.
Farewel wag-tail.
Marry thee quoth a! That's wise work indeed!
If we should marry every Wench we lie with,
'Twere after six a week with some of us.
(Marry love forbid) when two is enough to hang one.
Enter Vincent and Edmond.
Vin.
Nat, we have sought diligently, for fear
The news that is abroad should flie before us.
Nat.
What news? What flying fame do you Edmond labour with?
Ed.
News that makes all the Gallants i'the Town
Fly out o'their little wits: They are so eager,
Upon the joy. I mean such youthful Gallants
As have, or sold, or mortgag'd; or been cheated
6
Whose sad misfortune we are come to sing:
Shall I need to name him to thee?
Nat.
Who, the old Rascal Quicksands? speak good Vince,
What! has he hangd himself? speak quickly prithe.
Uin.
Worse, worse by half man. Durst thou hear a news
Whose mirth will hazzard cracking of a rib?
Nat.
I, and't be two. Here's hoopes enough besides
To hold my drink in. Pray thee speak; what mischief
Is come upon him.
Ed.
I pray thee guess again.
Nat.
Has somebody over-reach'd him in his way
Of damnable extortion; and he cut his throat,
Or swallowed poison?
Uin.
Ten times worse then that too.
Nat.
Is he then hoisted into the Star-Chamber
For his notorious practises? or into
The high Commission for his blacker arts?
Ed.
Worse then all this.
Nat.
Pax, keep it to your self then,
If you can think it be too good for me.
Why did you set me a longing? you cry worse
And ten times worse; and know as well as I,
The worse it is to him, the better wel-come
Ever to me: And yet you tell me nothing.
Uin.
He has married a young wife.
Nat.
Has he Cadzooks?
Ed.
We bring you no comfort, we.
Nat.
Nere go fine sport, Ha, ha, ha. What is she?
Would he had my wench, was here eene now,
What is she he has married? quickly prithe.
Uin.
One much too good for him.
Ed.
The beauteous Millicent.
Driven by the tempest of her Uncles will,
Is like a pinnace forc'd against the Rock.
Nat.
But he will never split her, that's the best on't.
7
I thank you for your news; and know what I
Will presently go do.
Vin.
Pray stay a little.
Ed.
And take us with you. What will you go do?
Nat.
That which we can all at once. Do not hold me.
Vin.
We came to cast a plot w'ye.
Nat.
Cast a pudding—How long ha'they been married?
Ed.
But this morning.
Nat.
You'l ha'me come too late.
Ne're go 'tis a shame he was not Cuckolded
'Fore Dinner.
Vin.
That had been a fine first course
At a wedding feast indeed. A little patience.
Nat.
Pray let me take my course 'fore supper yet.
Ed.
The business 'longs to us as much as you,
He has wrong'd us all alike. He has cozened us
As much as you.
Nat.
He has made me so poor
That my poor whore eene now claim'd marriage of me.
Vin.
The case is ours. His wrongs are common to us,
So shall his wife be, can we purchase her:
Did we bring you the news for you to run
And prevent us do you think?
Nat.
Pardon my zeal good Gentlemen; which onely
Considered but the fitness of the Act,
And that 'tis more then time 'twere done ifaith.
Enter Theophilus & Arnold.
Ed.
And see here comes a fourth man that has lost
More on her part, then we upon the Bridegrooms.
Vin.
He's very sowre and sad. 'Tis crept upon him
By this untoward accident.
Nat.
'Twould anger any man to be nos'd of such a match;
But Ile remove his sorrow—
Gentle Theophilus, you are well met,
Your sorrow is familiar with us all
In the large loss of your betrothed love;
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And our revenge to ease you. Tis decreed
Her husband shall be instantly a Cuckold.
The.
Most sinfully thou lyest; and all that give
Breath to that foul opinion.
Draw and fight.
Nat.
What do you mean.
The.
Give me that thought from you; nay, from you all,
Or I will rip you for't.
Nat.
Zooks what mean you.
Uin.
Hold, Sir, forbear.
The.
Ile have that thought out first.
Nat.
I say he does deserve to be a Cuckold;
Let him be what he will, a pox upon him.
Ed., Uin.
So we say all.
The.
What's that to ill in her?
I stand upon that point. Mans evil merit's
No warrant for a womans dishonesty.
I say had shee a man forty degrees
Beneath his undeservings, twere more possible
For him to deceive her with a good Life,
Then shee him with a wicked.
Nat.
I say so too.
But then I say again, The more's the pitty.
The.
Do and undoe.
He hurts him.
Nat.
Zookes now your bitch has bit me,
I say he will be one, he shall be one;
Il'e make him one my self.
Ed., Uin.
And weell both help him.
Ent. Ar. in his fals beard he sides with Theoph.
Arn.
Why here's trim stuff. Help ho, Murder, Murder.
Art.
This is oppression gentlemen; an unmanly one.
Nat.
What devils this rais'd? fall off, tis an ill business.
Ext. Nat. Vin. Ed.
Arn.
Have you no hurt Sir.
The.
No I'm confident.
Arn.
By your favour, I will see.
Arnold searches Theoph.
Art.
What fortune's this,
I fought 'gainst friends to save mine enemy,
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To rest hid to my friends for my offence to them,
And to mine enemy, till I make him dearer.
Exit.
The.
I told thee there was none.
Arn.
I'm glad it proves so.
The.
But wher's the Gentleman?
Arn.
Do you not know him sir?
The.
Not I, tis the first time that ere I saw him,
To my remembrance; yet he fought for me.
Beshrew thy idler care that made me lose him,
What should he be that so could fight for me,
Yet care not for my company? beshrew thy heart.
Why should he use me thus? I shall be sick to think on't.
I'm made beholding now to I know not whom;
And I'm the worst to sue or seek to a man—
Arn.
That scurvy, between proud and bashful quality,
You are famous for, as tother toy that haunts you.
The.
What's that?
Arn.
Why, to be deadly angry, sir,
On least occasion, and friends as quickly.
Hot and cold in a breath: you are angry now
With him that fought for you I warrant you.
The.
In troth I am, and friends with them I fought with;
He us'd me peevishly to leave me so,
Ere I could thank him.
Arn.
So tis that I told you.
The.
But did you mark th'humanity of my Gentlemen,
Cause shee's dispos'd by her self willed uncle
On that unworthy Quicksands (Devil take him)
They thought twould sound like musick in my ears
To hear her disgrace sung; when her fair honour
Is all I have to love, now shee's took from me:
And that they'd go about to rob me of.
Heaven grant me patience. O my slaughter'd father!
I am thy son, and know by thy infirmity.
Arn.
Me thinks, Sir, his example should allay you:
10
The.
Push, we see
Thieves daily hang'd for Robberies; yet some
Go on still in the practice! What a fine
Is set upon the head of foul Adultery,
And yet our neighbours Wives can hardly scape us!
There's Lawes against extortion, and sad penalties
Set upon Bribes,
Yet great mens hands ha'their fore-fathers itch!
Prisons are fill'd with Banckrupts; yet we see
How crafty Merchants often wrong their credits,
And Lond'ners flie to live at Amsterdam!
Nothing can banish Nature: That's the Moral.
Arn.
It was indeed your Fathers known infirmity,
And ever incident to the noblest Natures.
But of your Father, is there yet no hope
Of better news?
The.
No, certainly he's slain.
Arn.
I have not heard a story of more wonder;
That two such men, of such estates and years,
Having liv'd alwayes friends and neighbours nearly,
Should at the last fall out so mortally
On a poor cast at bowles! Where wast they fought?
The.
It is uncertain. All we heard of 'em
Was, they rode forth ('tis now a whole year past)
Singly to end their quarrel: But to what
Part of the kingdom, or the world they took,
We can by no inquiry find or hear
Of either of them. Sure they crost the Seas,
And both are slain.
Arn.
You speak poor comfort Sir.
The.
I speak as my heart finds. She's gone for ever too;
Her hearts desire be with her.
Arn.
Now he's there again.
The.
Then my poor Sisters sickness; that torments me,
Never in health since our dear Father left us.
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And now there.
The.
How shall I do to see these men again?
I shall not be at rest till I be friends with 'em.
Arn.
Why here's the noble nature still. 'Twil shew it self.
The.
I'le seek 'em out. Nathaniel alwayes lov'd me.
Exit.
Arn.
Here's an unsettled humor. In these fits
Hel'e nere be mad, nor ever well in's wits.
Exit.
| The English Moor, or The Mock-Marriage | |