University of Virginia Library

ACT IV.

SCENE I.

Enter Frederick Gabriel.
Fre.
Thou art so honest, that I am asham'd
The vice of Anger blinded so my Reason,
As not to see through thy transparent breast
A true and noble heart; such as becomes
A Kinsman and a friend to her I love;
I can see now, and read thy integrity,
And, by the light of that th'inhumane false-hood
Of that Court-monster, that compacted piece
Of Rapine, pride and Lust.

Gab.
Yet this is he
That did aspire to be a glorious Courtier.

Fre.
Courtier? A meere vaine glorious imposture;
Pretending favour, having nothing lesse.
Witnesse his want of Merit. Merit only
It is that smoothes the brow of Majesty,
And takes the comfort of those precious beauties
Which shine from grace Divine: and hee's a Traytor
(No way to stand a courtier) that to feed
His Lusts, and Riots, works out of his Subjects
The meanes, by forging grants of the Kings favour.

Gab.
What my master has suffer'd by his forgeries
I know to be the Shipwrack even of all
Except his Daughter, and what his ayme at her
Was I thinke appeares to you; And what she might
Have suffer'd by't we both may guesse: onely we hope
Her vertue would have bin a guard to her beauty.

Fre.
Tis plaine he never lov'd her vertuously
That is fallen mad for another.

Gab.

That madnesse is his fate; which renders him into
my masters hands to restore all agen. I, note the Justice
of it.

Fre.
But as his fortune by the others ruine
Shall be advanc'd, I shall be more rejected.

Gab.
That foule mistrust much misbecomes a Love
Rejected sir? by whom? Charissa's constant to you,
And time will cleare his frownes: and put you on
Now, the same confidence you had before;
His wanting fortune rais'd a storme against you,
Your noble friend Sir Raphael has already
By learned reasons and court-oratory
Prevayl'd for you to visit her: and now
Y'are come within the verge o'th' house, do you shrinke?
See, a good Omen, they issue forth to meet you.

Enter Mendicant, sir Raphael, Charissa.
Men.

Gab.
He is flown off agen.

Ra.
Did you not give me leave to send for him;
Who, now is come to tender his affection
Unto your Daughter?

Men.
Did not you first promise
(Ferd. Char. and Gab. aside
To give assurance of fit joincture for her,
Proportionable to her dowry, which
You now are started from?

Ra.
I understood not
Nor can yet understand more of her dowry
Then a thousand pound which her Unkle left her,
And answerably to that I will make good her joincture.

Men.
O you are short sir,
I meane to make her worth ten thousand more
Out of my estate in the mad Ferdinand.
Another ten thousand to redeeme my Land,
Ten thousand more, i'le keep in bank for purchace.

Ra.
A judgement's fallen upon him: Hee's mad too;
Struck lunatique with his o're-weening hopes
Sprung from the others misery.

Men.
And so sir, as you came you may depart:
For 'lesse you bring a thousand pound per annum
T'assure upon her, shee's no wife for you.

Fre.
O sir, you had better left me in that peace
I lately slept in, without any hope
Of seeing her againe, then by your summons
To startle me back from a quiet death
To Kill me thus with Tantalizing tortures.

Men.
Thank then your learned friend, who fail'd me in
His undertaking for you, and for her
If walls and locks can hold her, she no more
Shall tantalize you.

Ra.
Wherein have I fail'd sir?

Men.
Sir, in assuring joincture to her Dowry.

Ra.
Sir to no possible dowry you can give her,
But you propound the estate you have i' th' Moon;
When shall you take possession, thinke you, of your
Lordship of Lunacy in the Cynthian Orbe?

Men.
I shall climbe thither sir without the helpe
Of your Heaven-scaling ladder of Philosophy.

Ra.
Nay then sir heare me.

Men.
What in private sir?

Fre.
Remember, sweet, your vow.

Cha.

Most constantly. And let mee conjure you by
this.

Kisse.
Fre.
And this—

Cha.
That you forget not yours.

Gab.
Quick, quick! i'le stand before you.

Cha.
And time at length will point us out a meanes
After a short long-seeming separation
To meet and reunite our vowes and faiths
With greater strength and fervour.

Men.
Ha! i'le part you.
Was it for that you whisper'd, politick sir?

And couldst thou stand their screene? thou treacherous
varlet out of my dores.

Gab.
For what offence?

Men.
Darst thou expostulate?
Thou death deserving Villaine.
Hurts him.
And Huswife get you in: you may depart sirs
Has your love blinded you? i'le lead you then.

Ra.
Madnesse at heighth.

Men.
Will you along!

Cha.
O sir you are unkinde.
Love then a wilfull father is lesse blind.

Exit.
Ra.
Friend, has he hurt thee?

Gab.
I am sure I bleed for't.

Ra.
Why how now Frederick? despaire not man.
He has vex'd me; and out of my vexation
Shall spring thy comfort. I will labour for thee,
I'le study nothing more then to beguile
This watchfull fury; this Hisperian Dragon.
Say to thy selfe and boldly shee's thine owne,
And for thy meanes, (Basta) let me alone.

Fre.
You are my noble Patron.

Gab.
Turn'd away:
As I was his servingman, I am rewarded;
Tis common with us creatures to serv'd so:
But, as I am no more his servant, I
Am free to vindicate my selfe out of
The wrong done to my blood (which is the same
With his,) by him rejected and despis'd.

Cit.
Sir Andrew Mendicant at home?

Gab.
Not to be spoken with at this time sir.

Cit.
Pray let him know that the Lady Strangelove
Requires him sodainly to remove his Madman
Out of her house; or shee must take a course
Much to his disadvantage.

Gab.
In good time sir.

Cit.
This is a surly fellow, and tho' I have sworn
The humor of fighting is scarce warme in me yet,
And she advises him to find a better Doctor for him,
For this has taken a wrong course.

Gab.
Say you so sir?

Cit.

I'le tell't you as a secret. The Physitian thought
to have cur'd his patient, (who has bin a notable Gamester
at In and In) between my Ladies legs. If I and two
or three more (but chiefly my selfe indeed) had not
rescued her, the Doctor had held the Lady-cow to the
Mad-bull.

Gab.

May I believe this?

Cit.

He thinks I lie now. And should he gi' me the lie,
the vertue of my Oath were questionable.

Gab.
Is this upon your knowledge sir?

Cit.
True upon my life. So farewell honest friend.

Exit
Gab.
This may prove sport and businesse too.

Ra.
We will do something sodainly.

Gab.
What if you take me into that something too?
I guesse it is some stratagem to beguile
The cautious father of his injur'd daughter.

Ra.
This fellow will betray us.

Fre.
I will venter
All that I have, my fortune in Charissa
On his fidelity, sir his thoughts are mine.

Ra.
Cupid and Mercury favour our designe.

Ex. Om.

SCENE II.

Enter Court-wit, and Doctor.
Cou.
Your judgement (by your favour) Mr. Doctor
Much faild you in that case.

Doc.
Your reason yet may plead
Mine innocence, that drew her but to visit him.

Cou.
But that drew on his fury; and though reason
May argue much for you, shee can heare none,
Nor any understand: The swift affrightment
Upon her strength of passion, struck so deepe
A sense into her, that is has depriv'd her
Of all her proper senses. She is even mad sir.

Doc.
Not past my cure; and by a present meanes
Pray, win her hither to see a madder object
Then is her selfe, and see how that will worke.

Cou.
I'le gladly ad my paines unto your skill.

Exit.
Doc.
Come forth into the aire. Conduct him gently.

Enter Frederick with the servants.
Fre.
Into the aire! Set me upon Mount Lathmos,
Where I may see, and contemplate the beauty
Of my ador'd Diana; or carry me
Up to Hymettus top, Cytheron, Othris or Pindus
Where shee affects to walke and take the ayre;
Or tarry, stay, perhaps shee hunts to day
I' th' woods of Merathon, or Erymanthus.

Doc.
That's a long journey sir.

Fre.
Y'are a long bearded foole.

Doc.
I thought I had been a Phisitian. But sir
You shall not need t' expose your selfe to travell,
Your Goddesse will descend into this Garden,
Passe but time here a while and shee'l come to you.

Fre.
We will have joviall pastime. Shall we run
At base, or leape-frog, or dance naked
To entertaine her, or what do you thinke
Of downe-right drinke and singing?

Doc.
That's best of all.

Fer.
Let's have a mad catch then.

Enter Court-Swaine. Strangelove.
Cou.
Here Madam may you see the Madmans Revels.

Sw.
And after that the Doctors Tragicomedy.

Fer.
He Dances a conceited Countrey Dance, first doing his honours, then as leading forth his Lasse. He danceth both man and womans actions, as if the Dance consisted of two or three couples, at last as offring to Kisse his Lasse, hee fancies that they are all vanish'd, and espies Strangelove.

Str.
Keepe him from me.

Sw.
You must approach no nearer sir. The Goddesse
Is not so confident in her Divinity
As to trust you in reach of her.

Cou.
Keepe back sir.

Fer.
What Hydras, Gorgons, and Chymæras are you;
Centaures and Harpies that dare interpose
Between my hopes, and my felicity!

Cou.
Doctor, away with him.

Doc.
Carry him to his Chamber,
And hold him down. His raging fit is on him

Fer.
Was Night made to surprise men at Noon-day?
Or shall the charmes of Heccate take force
To dimne Appollo's brightnesse? So't must be,
When Gods themselves give way to Destine.

Exiunt with Ferd.
Sw.
They are enough to hold, and binde him too.
(Swa. pulls back the Doctor.
Come you afore the Lady.

Doct.
What's her pleasure?

Sw.
Tis to do Justice upon thee O Doctor
Stirre, or cry out, or give the least resistance,
And I will cut thy head off before judgement.

Doct.
What outrage doe you intend?

Cou.

Outrage! Can you thinke of an outrage above
the horror you offerd to this Lady, To violate her chastity?
her honor?

Doct.

You cannot say so.

Sw.

Tis said, and you are guilty. Proceed to judgement
Madam.

Str.

I first would heare your censures.

Enter Cit-wit.
Cit.

And mine among the rest good Madam. I have
taken care that a new Doctor shall be brought. Therefore
in the first place my censure is, that this be presently hang'd
out o' the way.

Cou.

That's too high straind. What thinke you Madam,
if to rectify his judgement, wee pick'd all the
errours of his braine; First, opening the Pericranion, then
take out the cerebrum; wash it in Albo vino, till it be
throughy clens'd; and then—

Sw.

Pox o' your Albo vino, and his cerebrum taking out,
that were a way to kill him. Wee must not be guily of
the death of a Dogleach, but have him purg'd a safer
way.

Str.

How? Proceed.

Sw.

We will fill his belly full of Whey, or Buttermilke,
put him naked into a Hogs-head, then put into

the same an hundred broken Urinalls, then close up the
Vessell and roll your Garden with it.

Doct.

I trust they cannot meane any such mischiefe.

Str.

Hearke yee Gentlemen. Do you heare?

(A Guelders horne.
Cit.

Yes Madam, tis a Sowgelder.

Str.

Fetch in that Minister of Justice.

Cit.

Who Madam? the Sowgelder?

Sw.

Wee'l make a Doctor guelder of him tho', and
my Lady be so minded.

Cit.
That will be sport indeed.

Exit.
Cou.
But will you see the execution Madam?

Str.
Why not as well as other women have
Seene the dissections of Anotamies,
And executed men rip'd up and quarter'd?
This spectacle will be comicall to those.

Doct.

They dare not doe the thing they would have
me feare.

Sw.
Now Doctor you look heavily methinks,
You shall be lighter by two stone presently.

Doct.
You will not murder me?

Sw.
Stirre not; nor make least noyse
As you hope ever to be heard agen.

Doct.
I would I could pray now to any purpose.

Enter Cit-wit, Guelder.
Cit.
I have brought him. The rarest fellow Madam,
And doe you thanke your fortune in him Doctor,
For he can sing a charme (he sayes) shall make
You feele no paine in your libbing or after it:
No Tooth-drawer, or Corne-cutter did ever worke
With so little feeling to a Patient.

Str.
Sing then, he shall not suffer without a Song.

Song.
Sw.

What must he be stript now; or will letting down
his breeches be enough?

Doct.
You dare not use this violence upon me
More rude then rage of Prentices.

Cit.
Doctor it is decreed.

Doct.
You cannot answer it.

Cou.
Better by Law then you can the intent
(Guelder whets his knife and all in preparation, Linnen, Bason, &c.
Of Ripe upon the Lady.

Doct.

That was not to have beene my act,
nor was it done.

Sw.

When this is done wee'l talke w'ye,
come lay him crosse this Table. Hold each of
you a Leg of him, and hold you your peace
Dodipoll. And for his armes let me alone, do you work
Guelder.

Doct.
Hold, I have a secret to deliver to my Lady.

Sw.
You shall be deliver'd of your secrets presently.

Doct.
If I tell her not that shall give her pardon
Then let me suffer. Heare me sweet Madam.

Str.
Forbeare him, let him down.

Sw.
Sweet sayst? Thou art not i'le be sworne.

Str.

Well sir your weighty secret now to save your
trifles.

Doc.

In private I beseech you Madam: for I dare but
whisper't.

Str.

You shall allow me so much warinesse as to have
one at least to be my Guard, and witnesse.

Doc.

This Gentleman then Madam.

Cit.

We are shut out of councell.

Sw.

No matter. I list not be no nearer him: no more
would my cozen had he my nose. But where's Mr. Dainty
and your finicall Mistris Phil all this while tho'?

Cit.

No matter, but I ha' sworn you know. Therefore
I say no more, but I have sworn.

Cou.

VVhat a strange tale is this! I can't believe it.

Str.

I doe, and did before suspect it: and fram'd this
counterfet plot upon you, Doctor, to worke out the

discovery: would I ha' seene you guelt dee think? That
would have renderd mee more brutish then the women
Barbers. Looke sir this is no Guelder, but one of my
house Musick. (Goe, your part is done— Exit.

And for th'affright you gave me, Doctor, I am even w'ye.

Sw.

The Devill fright him next for a spurging, skitter-brooke.
'Twere good you would call to burne some
perfumes Madam.

Str.

But for the secret you have told me i'le keepe it
secret yet, I will keepe you so too; and from your
Patient.

Enter Boy.

There's a new Doctor come already Madam to the
madman.

Str.
From sir Andrew Mendicant?

Boy.
His servant brought him.

Doc.
I pray what Doctor is it?

Str.
Ingage your selfe with no desire to know,
But, for the good you finde, fit thanks to owe;
So come with me, and come you Gentlemen.

Ex. Omnes

SCENE III.

Enter Frederick in a Doctors habit, Gabriel with two swords under his cloake, Ferdinand upon a Bed bound, and held down by servants.
Fer.
Heape yet more Mountaines, Mountaines upon
Mountaines, Pindus on Ossa, Atlas on Olympus,
I'le carry that which carries Heaven, do you
But lay't upon me!

Fre.
Forbeare you'l stifle him,
Take off the needlesse weight of your rude bodies;
Unbind him and stand off, to give him ayre.

Ser.

Sir though you are a Phisitian, I am no foole.

Take heede what you doe. Hee's more then six of us
hold when his hot fit's upon him. He would now teare
you to pieces should you let him loose.

Fer.

The danger then be mine. Let him sit up. Is not
he civill now?

Ser.

I, for how long? do you note that Hercules eye
there?

Fre.
I charge you quit the roome.

Ser.
Tis but to come agen when we are call'd.

Fre.
Be not within the hearing of a call,
Or if you chance to heare me, though I cry
Murder, I charge you come not at me.

Ser.

Tis but a Doctor out o' the way; and that's no
losse while there are so many, the best cannot live by the
worst.

Fre.
Keep the dore fast. You are much mist abroad sir,
And chiefly by the Ladies, who now want
The Court-ships, Banquets, and the costly presents
In which you wonted to abound to 'em.

Ferd.
Ha—

Fre.
Nay, nay, sit still sir. They say y'are mad;
Mad with conceit of being a favorite
Before your time, that is, before you had merit
More then a tumour of vaine-glory in you,
And in especiall care for your recovery
I am sent to administer unto you: but first
To let you blood.

Dagger.
Ferd.
Ho! Murder, Murder, Murder.

Fre.
Are you so sensible already? do not stirre
Nor cry too loud. Dos the meere apprehension
Of blood-letting affright your madnesse? Then
Reason may come agen.

Ferd.

The Battaile of Musteborough Field was a
brave one.

Fre.

O do you fly out agen?

Ferd. Sings part of the old Song, and acts it madly.
Fre.

This is pretty: but back from the purpose.

He sings agen.
Fre.

Will you come to the point sir?

Ferdinand sings agen.
Fre.

We but lose time in this sir: Though it be good
testimony of your memory in an old Song. But do you
know me?

Ferd.
Not know my Soveraigne Lord? Curs'd be those
Knees, and hearts that fall not prostrate at his Feete.

Fre.
This wild submission no way mittigates
My wrongs, or alters resolution in me
To Cure or Kill you quickly. Do you know me now sir?
Or have you known Charissa? do you start sir?
(Off his beard & gown.
There's signe of reason in you then: But bee't
By reason or by chance, that you awake
Out of your frantick slumber, to perceive me,
My cause and my Revenge is still the same,
Which I will presecute according to
My certaine wrong, and not your doubtfull reason,
Since reasonlesse you layd those wrongs upon me
When you were counted wise, great, valiant, and what not
That cryes a Courtier up, and gives him power
To trample on his betters.

Ferd.
Who talkes this mortall to? I am a spirit.

Fre.
Sure I shall finde you flesh, and penetrable.

Ferd.
I would but live to subdue the Pisidians,
And so to bring the Lydians under tribute—

Fre.
You would but live t' abuse more credulous fathers
With courtly promises, and golden hopes
For your own lustfull ends upon their Daughters.
Thinke (if you can thinke now) upon Charissa.
Charissa who was mine, in faith and honour
Till you ignobly (which is damnably)
By a false promise with intent to whore her
Diverted her weake Father from the Match
To my eternall losse. Now whether you
Have wit or no wit to deny't, or stand to't,
Or whether you have one, or ten mens strength,
Or all, or none at all i'le fight or Kill you
Yet like a Gentleman, i'le call upon you
(Throw away his dags.
Give me the Swords. They are of equall length
Take you free choyce.

Ferd.
Pish.

Run back.
Fre.

I cast that to you then. Hand it, or die a
Madman.

Ferd.
O, ho, ho, ho.—

Gab.
All this sir to a Madam.

Fre.
I have a cause to be more mad then he,
And in that cause i'le fight.

Gab.
He knowes not what you tell him.

Fre.
I tell't the Devill in him then to divulge it
When I have dispossest him. I have further
Reason to kill him yet, to crosse your Master,
VVho has beg'd his Estate. Now fight or die a Madman.

Ferd.
Hold Frederick hold. Thou hast indeed awak'd
Me to see thee and my selfe.

Gab.
Hee's not so mad to fight yet I see that.

Fre.
I'm glad you are your selfe sir, I shall fight
Now upon honorable tearmes, and could
Suppose before your madnesse counterfeit.

Ferd.
Yet hold. Has Mendicant beg'd me?

Fre.

During your madnesse. VVhat should hinder
him?

Ferd.
Put up thy Sword.

Fre.
Upon no tearmes, and you alive.

Ferd.
Not to obtaine Charissa?

Fre.
As you Guest sir.

Ferd.
It shall be by meanes if gold can win
Her Fathers grant.

Fre.
That's most unquestionable.

Ferd.
Not that I dare not fight, doe I urge this,
But that the other is your safer way.

Fre.
Your gold's too light. I will accept of nothing
From you while you dare tell me you dare fight,
Perhaps you doubt of ods, goe forth. Nay I
VVill lock him out.

Gab.

You may: For I dare trust you while I go call
the Lady.

Exit.
Fre.

Now are you pleas'd, or dare you now to
fight sir?

Ferd.
I neither will nor dare fight in this cause:

Fre.
This is a daring Courtier!
How durst you wind your selfe in so much danger?
And why take madnesse in you, to be bound,
And grapled with so rudely?

Ferd.
Keepe my councell,
And take Charissa.

Fre.
Tis a faire condition.

Ferd.
First for the wrong I did thee, noble youth
In my designe against Charissa's honour,
It is confess'd, repented; and her selfe
For satisfaction to be given to thee,
I'le fall upon thy Sword else, or be posted,
And Ballated with all disgrace.

Fre.
VVell yet.

Ferd.
And for my shew of madnesse; 'twas put on
For my revenge on this impetuous Lady
To coole these flames (as much of anger as
Desire) with her disdaine, and tempting malice
Had rais'd within mee.

Fre.
You would have ravish'd her.

Ferd.
I rather thought, she like a cunning Lady
VVould have consented to a Madman, who
She might presume could not impeach her honor
By least detection. Monkeyes, Fooles, and Madmen,
That cannot blab, or must not be believ'd
Receave strange favours.

Fre.
And on that presumption
You fain'd your madnesse.

Ferd.
True.

Fre.
But rather then to faile,
With your bawd Doctors helpe you would ha' forc'd her:
And that's the councell you would have me keep
On your assurance of Charissa to me:
That your proceeding in your madnesse here,
May yet finde meanes and opportunity
To exercise your violence.

Ferd.
Suppose so.

Fre.
Thou art not worth my Killing now.
Justice will marke thee for the Hangmans Office:
Nor, were Charissa in thy gift, were shee,
In that, worth mine or any good acceptance,
And for your councell, had within there Madam.

Ferd.
Frederick—

Fre.
The Lady of the house! where are you?
VVill you be pleas'd to heare a secret Madam?
Strangely discover'd?

Enter Strangelove, Gabriel, Doctor.
Str.
I doe not slight your act in the discovery,
But your imposture sir, and beastly practise
VVas before whisper'd to me by your Doctor
To save his Epididamies.

Doct.
O your pardon.

Fred.
I am disgrac'd, undone.

Str.
Tis in my power
To make you the perpetuall shame of Court;
And will assuredly doe't, if you comply not
VVith me to make this injur'd Gentlemans fortune
In his belov'd Charissa.

Ferd.
Madam most readily, I have offer'd it.

Sw.
I have forecast the way and meanes already:
Which we must prosecute with art and speed.
Good ends oft times doe bad intents succeede.

Ferd.
I'le be directed by you.

Fre.
Noblest Lady.

Exeunt Omnes.