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EPISTLE To the Honourable C. B.
  
  
  
  


66

EPISTLE To the Honourable C. B.

Peterhead, 1766.
When B--- invites me, and inviting sings,
Instant I'd fly, (had heaven vouchsafed me wings)
To hail him in that calm sequester'd seat,
Whence he looks down with pity on the great;
And, midst the groves retired, at leisure wooes
Domestick love, contentment, and the Muse.
I wish for wings and winds to speed my course;
Since B---t and the fates refuse a horse.
Where now the Pegasus of antient time,
And Ippogrifo famed in modern rhime?
O where that wooden steed, whose every leg
Like lightning flew, obsequious to the peg;
The waxen wings by Dedalus design'd,
And China waggons wafted by the wind?
A Spaniard reach'd the moon, upborn by geese;
(Then first 'twas known that she is made of cheese.)
A fiddler on a fish through waves advanced,
He twang'd his catgut, and the Dolphin danced.
Hags rode on broom-sticks, heathen-gods on clouds;
Ladies on rams and bulls have dared the floods.
Much famed the shoes Jack Giantkiller wore,
And Fortunatus' hat is famed much more.
Such vehicles were common once, no doubt;
But modern versemen must even trudge on foot,
Or doze at home, expectants of the gout.

67

Hard is the task, indeed 'tis wondrous hard
To act the Hirer , yet preserve the Bard.
“Next week by ------ (but 'tis a sin to swear)
“I give my word, Sir, you shall have my mare;
“Sound wind and limb, as any ever was,
“And rising only seven years old next grass.
“Four miles an hour she goes, nor needs a spur;
“A pretty piece of flesh, upon my conscience, Sir,”
This speech was B---t's; and, though mean in phrase,
The nearest thing to prose, as Horace says,
(Satire the fourth, and forty second line)
'Twill intimate that I propose to dine
Next week with B---. Muse, lend thine aid a while;
For this great purpose claims a lofty style.
Ere yonder sun, now glorious in the west,
Has thrice three times reclined on Thetis' breast;
Ere thrice three times, from old Tithonus' bed,
Her charms all glowing with celestial red,
The balmy Morn shall rise to mortal view,
And from her bright locks shake the pearls of dew,
These eyes, O B---, shall hail thy opening glades,
These ears shall catch the musick of thy shades;
This cherish'd frame shall drink the gladsome gales,
And the fresh fragrance of thy flowery vales.
And (for I know the Muse will come along)
To B--- I mean to meditate a song:

68

A song, adorn'd with every rural charm,
Trim as thy garden, ample as thy farm,
Sweet as thy milk, and brisk as bottled beer,
Wholesome as mutton, and as water clear,
In wildflowers fertile, as thy fields of corn,
And frolicksome as lambs, or sheep new shorn.
I ask not Ortolans, or Chian wine,
The fat of rams, or quintessence of swine.
Her spicy stores let either India keep,
Nor El Dorado vend her golden sheep.
And to the mansion house, or council hall,
Still on her black splay feet may the huge tortoise crawl.
Not Parson's butt my appetite can move,
Nor, Bell, thy beer; nor even thy nectar, Jove.
If B--- be happy, and in health, his guest,
Whom wit and learning charm, can wish no better feast.
 

One who keeps horses to let is so called in Scotland. See Johnson's Dictionary.