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Agent Dick

"Nixon is the best agent for
Mao. The more he bombs
Cambodia the more Communists
he makes," Mr. Chou said.

He expressed his "deepest
sympathy" at the University's
"lost sense of community."

"With the help of my
closest and dearest friends at
the University – Elmer
Shannon, Bob Candleberry,
and Herman Graebner – I can
reunite your University," he
said.

Mr. Mao's visit coincides
with the University's first
annual "Eleanor Shannon
Irrational" ping-pong
tournament to be held in the
Cocke Hall basement
immediately following Mr.
Mao's speech.