 | The Good Woman in the Wood |  |
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ACT II.
Scene First.
—The Boundary of Bloom Land—(In the centre of the stage the magic oak).Enter Fairy Fragrant and Train, with Finfin, Myrtis, Lirette and Sylvan.
(Music—The Fairies trip round the line of demarcation, beating the oak with their wands as they pass and exeunt)
Fairy.
Thus once in ev'ry year we go the rounds,
And of our fairy parish beat the bounds.
Behold this ancient oak, my youthful friends,
It is the spot where my dominion ends.
Within the circle we have traced to-day
Nothing can come to injure or dismay;
But step beyond it half a blade of grass,
And I won't tell you what mayn't come to pass.
So, for your own sakes, recollect my order,
Let no temptation lure you o'er the border.
Air—Fairy—“Pour Bertha”—Prophète.
And of our fairy parish beat the bounds.
Behold this ancient oak, my youthful friends,
It is the spot where my dominion ends.
Within the circle we have traced to-day
Nothing can come to injure or dismay;
But step beyond it half a blade of grass,
And I won't tell you what mayn't come to pass.
So, for your own sakes, recollect my order,
Let no temptation lure you o'er the border.
Let me advise, “Be merry and wise,”
Of pleasure be prudence the warder;
“Merry and wise,” remember, implies
You mustn't go over the border!
Of pleasure be prudence the warder;
“Merry and wise,” remember, implies
You mustn't go over the border!
Clearly it the truth expresses,
Danger waits on all excesses;
Lightly you may leap the bourne,
But once past there's no return.
No, no, no, no.
Danger waits on all excesses;
Lightly you may leap the bourne,
But once past there's no return.
No, no, no, no.
Seen from within this line appears
A fragile wreath of roses—
But a return from wild careers,
An iron chain opposes!
A fragile wreath of roses—
But a return from wild careers,
An iron chain opposes!
Out beyond that tree who launches,
Treason finds in all its branches.
Would you taste of joy divine,
E'er in pleasure keep the line!
Treason finds in all its branches.
Would you taste of joy divine,
E'er in pleasure keep the line!
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We will in all our best obey you, madam.
Fairy.
I can expect no more from sons of Adam.
(Exit Fairy)
Lir.
I'm sure we are in all our best to do so.
At least, I never was so dressed, were you so?
(to Myrtis)
Myr.
I never felt so happy, which is better.
Fin.
Lirette! I never answered your sweet letter.
Lir.
Well! now by word of mouth you can reply.
Fin.
I can; so take it from my lips.
(kissing her)
Lir.
Oh, fie!
Do you call that, sir, keeping within bounds?
Fin.
To speak my rapture words were empty sounds.
Prince.
(to Myrtis)
Permit my lips so to express my passion?
Myr.
With all my heart—I'll not be out of fashion.
Fin.
Our promised brides, in this sweet vale of flowers,
Grant us your leaves to build our nuptial bowers.
Lir.
First let the banns be published, sir, amid them;
There's no one in this parish to forbid them.
Myr.
No; even mother now says we may marry.
Prince.
Then why postpone so sweet a partie quarèe?
Come, name the day, on your fond swains take pity.
Fin.
To Sylvan I say ditto, in a ditty.
Air—Finfin—“Com é bello.”
In this land of bloom and beauty,
All to bless your fond lover is courting,
Flowers that hint their gentle duty,
Brilliant beings around us sporting.
Butterflies in bridal splendour,
Here their snow-white wings display;
Blue bells ring a fairy peal so tender—
Haste, then, dearest—name the day!
All to bless your fond lover is courting,
Flowers that hint their gentle duty,
Brilliant beings around us sporting.
Butterflies in bridal splendour,
Here their snow-white wings display;
Blue bells ring a fairy peal so tender—
Haste, then, dearest—name the day!
Blush not, dearest. The roses jealous,
May not be perhaps so zealous.
But the orange showers her blossom
To crown thy brow and deck thy bosom.
In the myrtles ringdoves cooing,
Sweet Epithalamiums play;
All to Hymen's altar wooing,
Haste, then, dearest—name the day!
May not be perhaps so zealous.
But the orange showers her blossom
To crown thy brow and deck thy bosom.
In the myrtles ringdoves cooing,
Sweet Epithalamiums play;
All to Hymen's altar wooing,
Haste, then, dearest—name the day!
(Exeunt Finfin and Lirette, Myrtis and Sylvan)
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Abad.
Come, here's a little job for me at last,
I have been idle for a long time past.
Mortals each other with such hate pursue,
They leave an evil genius naught to do;
Malice and envy have so darkly dyed 'em.
The devil himself looks almost white beside 'em,
Out of this oak had I not something carved,
Like other geniuses I might have starved;
But here is innocence to court temptation,
And guilt to drive to deeper desperation.
(stamping)
Arise! King Bruin rises on a couch asleep.
Awake!
King.
I've slept till all is blue.
Holloa! where am I? (sees Abaddun)
Who the deuce are you?
Abad.
Abaddun!
King.
You look like it—ev'ry view in.
And what may be your business?
Abad.
Mischief, Bruin!
King.
That I can credit, too—but just allow
Bruin to ask for whom you're brewing now?
Abad.
For you.
King.
For me! “For” means “against,” I fear.
Abad.
No! I'm your friend—a genius!
King.
O dear!
A friend in need, then, you will prove, if any,
For I ne'er knew a genius worth a penny.
Abad.
The Fairy Queen of Bloom Land is my foe,
As she is yours.
King.
Mine! Is she really, though?
Abad.
Behold those youthful swains and shepherdesses,
Paying to one another their addresses.
King.
My step-son, Sylvan! who went off sky-larking!
And that vile trio—
Abad.
Know you who they are, King?
Two of them are the children of your brother.
King.
What! those I gave Catspaw, the cook, to smother?
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The same. The third is Sylvan's sister, carried
Off by this Fairy, that she might be married
To your right royal nephew yonder!
King.
Living!
Warning to quit, then, me they'll soon be giving!
Curse on that cook—he's put me in a stew—
Is there no hole that you can pull me through?
Abad.
Perhaps! What will you give?
King.
Name your own fee.
Abad.
(grasping his hand)
Done! it's a bargain!
King.
(shuddering)
Am I sold, or he?
No matter what—I feel my eyes grow heavy.
(sinks on couch)
Abad.
Finish your nap—I will attend your levée.
The couch descends again with Bruin—Music—Abaddun takes from the hollow of the oak tree a toy, in the shape of a duck, superbly gilt and painted, with jewelled eyes and crest.
Now, by my art, to make this wooden toy chuck—
Carved out of magic oak—a fine decoy duck.
Music—Places Duck on the stage—It becomes animated, and
walks about quacking.
The couch descends again with Bruin—Music—Abaddun takes from the hollow of the oak tree a toy, in the shape of a duck, superbly gilt and painted, with jewelled eyes and crest.
Now, by my art, to make this wooden toy chuck—
Carved out of magic oak—a fine decoy duck.
Air—Abaddun—“Com' é gentil” (with duck obligato accompaniment).
“Com' é gentil!”
To hear thy bill—Quack, quack!
Thus at my will—Quack, quack!
That charming sound produce;—Quack, quack!
Our fav'rite spell!—Quack, quack!
For who so well—Quack, quack!
As we can tell
Of quacks the use?
Of mischief what a dearth if sent a packing
Were ev'ry thing on earth that takes to quacking!
To hear thy bill—Quack, quack!
Thus at my will—Quack, quack!
That charming sound produce;—Quack, quack!
Our fav'rite spell!—Quack, quack!
For who so well—Quack, quack!
As we can tell
Of quacks the use?
Of mischief what a dearth if sent a packing
Were ev'ry thing on earth that takes to quacking!
The grave physician—Quack, quack!
The academician—Quack, quack!
The politician who turns his coat each day—Quack, quack!
In each condition—Quack, quack!
Such imposition—Quack, quack!
The poor magician
Quacks less than they!
Both high and low we hear the sound of quacking—
The Budget mustn't sneer at “Turner's blacking!”
The academician—Quack, quack!
The politician who turns his coat each day—Quack, quack!
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Such imposition—Quack, quack!
The poor magician
Quacks less than they!
Both high and low we hear the sound of quacking—
The Budget mustn't sneer at “Turner's blacking!”
In education—Quack, quack!
In representation—Quack, quack!
In emigration it goes a wondrous way—Quack, quack!
In ev'ry station—Quack, quack!
Through all the nation—Quack, quack!
My conjuration
Find favour may,
By quacking half the town is money making—
From “Life assuring” down to “Undertaking!”
Quack, &c.
In representation—Quack, quack!
In emigration it goes a wondrous way—Quack, quack!
In ev'ry station—Quack, quack!
Through all the nation—Quack, quack!
My conjuration
Find favour may,
By quacking half the town is money making—
From “Life assuring” down to “Undertaking!”
Quack, &c.
Abad.
(to Duck)
You know your duty—so to words a truce
Go like a duck, and don't act like a goose.
(Duck flies off)
Now, my proud Fairy, I may spoil your match,
And turn your shepherd's glee into a catch!
Aye, see! the hunt is up—the sport's begun—
Well waddled, duck—I'll back you ten to one.
Lirette is first—a lady takes the lead,
Dux femina facti, I may say indeed.
(retires)
Lirette enters, pursuing the Duck, which disappears amongst some bushes.
Lir.
I've lost it; but I can't be far behind it!
Finfin ran t'other way, so he won't find it.
Oh! if to catch it I should have the luck—
I never in my life saw such a duck.
It looks all gold and jewels in the sun,
A “Duck of Diamonds,” if there e'er was one;
And not a wild duck either—seemed quite tame,
But timid, and, I thought, a little lame.
I've heard of lame ducks, but I question whether
When really lame, if they're in such fine feather.
Where has it got to? underneath this shrub?
Poor thing—perhaps it's gone to get its grub.
And for its capture that's another reason,
To feed on grubs 'gainst butterflies is treason!
And if the Fairies knew it, they'd be huff'd,
And have the pretty creature killed and stuffed
With sage and onion—horrible surmise,
The very name brings tears into my eyes.
Air—Lirette—“Zauberflote.”
Finfin ran t'other way, so he won't find it.
Oh! if to catch it I should have the luck—
I never in my life saw such a duck.
It looks all gold and jewels in the sun,
A “Duck of Diamonds,” if there e'er was one;
And not a wild duck either—seemed quite tame,
But timid, and, I thought, a little lame.
I've heard of lame ducks, but I question whether
When really lame, if they're in such fine feather.
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Poor thing—perhaps it's gone to get its grub.
And for its capture that's another reason,
To feed on grubs 'gainst butterflies is treason!
And if the Fairies knew it, they'd be huff'd,
And have the pretty creature killed and stuffed
With sage and onion—horrible surmise,
The very name brings tears into my eyes.
My darling duck! the very thought of stuffing
Bird so divine, would almost break my heart!
Moses and Nicoll, spite of all their puffing,
'Twixt them can't shew a pair of ducks so smart!
Yet, if the Fays found reason,
To truss thee up for treason,
The word most sage in season,
Lost would be on grounds like these—
Decide between the lady and the larder.
Live, duck! or, if you disregard her,
Die and repose in peas.
The Duck re-appears.
Bird so divine, would almost break my heart!
Moses and Nicoll, spite of all their puffing,
'Twixt them can't shew a pair of ducks so smart!
Yet, if the Fays found reason,
To truss thee up for treason,
The word most sage in season,
Lost would be on grounds like these—
Decide between the lady and the larder.
Live, duck! or, if you disregard her,
Die and repose in peas.
There! there it is again. Now do stand still.
You darling duck! Here dilly, dilly, dill!
That naughty Finfin frightened it so much, it
Won't let me come quite near enough to touch it.
But I will catch it—if I hunt all day,
Go for it any lengths, or any way.
Yes! such a dainty duck a prize to make,
I'd take a voyage round the world—like Drake.
(hunts the Duck, who runs under the oak)
Nay, mine you must and shall be—willy, nilly!
Here dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly!
(follows the Duck round the oak, across the border, and pounces on it)
Ah! now you're caught.
You darling duck! Here dilly, dilly, dill!
That naughty Finfin frightened it so much, it
Won't let me come quite near enough to touch it.
But I will catch it—if I hunt all day,
Go for it any lengths, or any way.
Yes! such a dainty duck a prize to make,
I'd take a voyage round the world—like Drake.
(hunts the Duck, who runs under the oak)
Nay, mine you must and shall be—willy, nilly!
Here dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly, dilly!
(follows the Duck round the oak, across the border, and pounces on it)
Ah! now you're caught.
Abad.
(aside)
And so are you.
(a branch of the tree catches hold of Lirette)
Lir.
Ah, me!
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Fin.
Lirette, Lirette! She's past the fairy tree. Return!
Lir.
I can't! I'm held as tight as wax.
Fin.
Oh, if I knew but where to find an axe.
(an axe appears in the air
Lir.
There's one for axing—close enough to touch thee.
Fin.
The handle towards my hand—come, let me clutch thee.
(the axe eludes his grasp)
I have thee not! and yet I see thee still.
Handle thy blade at any risk I will,
My love to rescue from that hateful bough.
(pursues the axe across the border, and is caught by another branch)
Abad.
(aside)
Ah! my fine blade, 'tis you are handled now
Fin.
My eye my other senses was the fool of—
A magic tool I have been made the tool of!
Lir.
Oh, most false axe! to cut ere you could catch it.
Some fiend who lies like truth has thrown the hatchet.
Enter Prince Sylvan and Myrtis.
Myr.
Oh, Sylvan! see, Lirette and my poor brother,
Dangling beside, not after, one another!
Prince.
Haste we to rescue them—
Lir.
Take care! take care!
Of one false step across that line beware.
Fin.
Take warning by the rash step we have taken,
Nor by a rasher think to save our bacon.
Prince.
Fly for the Fairy, she may bring them aid!
Myr.
What! when her orders they have disobeyed!
No, never will I shew so white a feather;
For good or ill let us all hang together.
(music—She crosses the border, followed by Prince— they are both seized by branches in the same way— Abaddun advances)
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Abad.
Victory!
(stage grows dark—Thunder and lightning—clouds envelope Abaddun with the four Prisoners, who gradually disappear in them)
Dame.
Help! Stop thief!
Fairy.
Stern fate forbids!
Dame.
What! when they've kidnapped all my precious kids?
Fairy.
They are beyond my power to recover;
The fairy landmark they have jumped right over.
Their future fate, I fear, will be a sad 'un,
For they are in the power of Abaddun.
Dame.
Then after him to go I am a good 'un!
Fairy.
Stir not a step. (touching her)
Dame.
(immovable)
Sure both my legs are wooden!
O cruel godmother, who stood to two of 'em,
Must I stand too—as if I nothing knew of 'em?
Is this your promise?—this your gracious boon?
Are you the sponsor—and make me the spoon?
Fairy.
Hush, my good woman; keep your temper, pray;
It is too good to lose in this weak way.
For disobedience they are punished sadly,
But what I can do for them I'll do gladly.
Dame.
And what may that be?
Fairy.
Can't tell till I look,
By spirit lamp light, in my magic book.
Dame.
Oh, must I stop to pore o'er musty books,
When my poor lambs are hung on tenter hooks?
Fairy.
Come to my cabinet, this state affair
To settle with the Queen in council there.
Music—The clouds disperse and discover
Scene Second.
—The Cabinet des Fées.On the shelves of a richly-ornamented book-case are seen volumes with titles in transparency, “The Golden
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Fairy.
Behold the famous “Cabinet des Fées”
And “Fairy Library,” which, I dare say,
You've often heard of. Round you on the shelves,
All richly spell-bound by my fairy elves,
The volumes stand whose magic-woven pages
Have charmed the children of all times and ages.
Dame.
Some I perceive whose titles I know well.
I've told them often, and I've found them tell.
Fairy.
Those are the stage editions—done for certain;
Those yet to do are kept behind the curtain.
This book contains the story of yourself.
(pointing to the one on the desk)
Dame.
I see, then, I'm not yet upon the shelf.
Fairy.
To read it I began not long ago,
How it will end are you resolved to know?
Dame.
Of my own fate I would not read a line,
But that of others is bound up with mine;
And therefore humbly hope that it will suit your
Book, to say what is “looming in the future!”
Fairy.
Sit then, whilst I find out how the adapter
Has worked the story up in the last chapter.
(opens book on desk)
Dame.
(aside)
Thus, at a boarding school, the eager maid
Through the three-volumed novel cannot wade,
Till she has peeped to see if Lady Anne
Does marry after all “that charming man!”
Fairy.
What do I see! what words my pain could paint;
If I were not a fairy I should faint!
Dame.
What do you see? Speak! Don't suppose I'm nervous.
Has fate resolved to pickle or preserve us?
Fairy.
Alas! I haven't got the heart to tell you;
Were you a giantess the blow would fell you!
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I'm short in stature—that I don't deny,
But put my monkey up, I'm six feet high!
Whate'er my lot, let fortune smile or frown,
I am a lot not easily knocked down!
Malice may wound or boobyism bore me,
But it must be a precious thump to floor me.
Fairy.
Well, then, prepare for woe.
Dame.
I am prepared!
Fairy.
The page is blank on which so long I've stared.
Dame.
Blank! Why then, wherefore so blank should you look,
If we are neither booked nor brought to book?
Fairy.
Because, although imperfect just the last at,
There is a sentence which I stood aghast at.
Dame.
'Gainst me let any sentence be recorded.
What fate to my poor wards has Fate awarded?
Fairy.
They're in the paws of the usurping Bear.
Dame.
And no brave friend to cry “paws off” is there!
Fairy.
He will cry “heads off” certainly for two.
They can be only saved by me, or you.
Dame.
Then we're all right, and Bruin's beaten hollow!
Fairy.
I beg to say that don't exactly follow.
The stars have made a fearful stipulation;
One of us two must take their situation—
And perish in their place.
Dame.
Which shall it be?
Decide yourself—it's all the same to me.
Fairy.
Well, I confess I can't go quite that pace.
There's a slight difficulty in my case:
If I would perish for them—which I wouldn't—
I am a fairy, and, of course, I couldn't.
Dame.
Then why distress yourself to that amount?
Fairy.
It is entirely on your account.
Dame.
Oh, my account I'll in a moment settle:
Fate rings out an appeal to my belle metal—
And I will answer as becomes a woman.
Who can say more—is none!
Fairy.
It seems inhuman
To let you go to certain execution.
Dame.
I go to execute my resolution.
Fairy.
They're not your children.
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That weighs not a pin.
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin—
Of these poor orphans I'm the sole asylum;
And if my life subscription in can tile 'em,
I'll pay it down with pleasure, and will dare
For those dear lambs to go the entire—Bear;
Fairy.
You are as brave as you are good—receive
This sprig of thyme, 'twill bring you a reprieve
At the last moment, if you should repent.
Dame.
Pray keep your thyme—it were but time misspent—
Fairy.
Reject it not! unguarded by this spell
The tyrant would but take your head as well.
This leaves him not the liberty to choose,
They cannot fall—if you stand in their shoes.
Dame.
Ah! that's two other shoes—so if I may
I'll “take your thyme, Miss Lucy,” as they say,
But I suspect there's no more time to spare.
Fairy.
Time flies, you know, that thyme will take you there.
(Exit Fairy)
Air—Dame—“Nelly Bly.”
As I fly through the sky,
With my new brougham along,
I'll sweep the cobwebs, like that dear
Old woman in the song.
Those who would my darlings snub
Shall better manners learn;
I'll teach the Bear a dance so rare,
'Twill give their luck a turn.
With my new brougham along,
I'll sweep the cobwebs, like that dear
Old woman in the song.
Those who would my darlings snub
Shall better manners learn;
I'll teach the Bear a dance so rare,
'Twill give their luck a turn.
Heigh over! fly over
Fairy-land and sea;
To pass my thyme
I'll sing a rhyme
To nigger melody.
Fairy-land and sea;
To pass my thyme
I'll sing a rhyme
To nigger melody.
Long as I have a voice,
Ev'ry fear above,
I'll vote for those I value,
And I'll stick to those I love.
With them I hand and heart
Am as sure to be
As yonder ball at “One” to fall
By electricity.
Ev'ry fear above,
I'll vote for those I value,
And I'll stick to those I love.
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Am as sure to be
As yonder ball at “One” to fall
By electricity.
Heigh over! fly over
Fairy-land and sea;
To pass my thyme
I'll sing a prime
New nigger melody.
Fairy-land and sea;
To pass my thyme
I'll sing a prime
New nigger melody.
Scene Third.
—The Palace of King Bruin.(Same as Scene Second, Act I.)
Enter King hastily, meeting Ratsbane.
King.
Ratsbane!
Rats.
Your Majesty disordered seems!
King.
Oh, Ratsbane, I have had such horrid dreams!
Rats.
Shadows, my liege, the brain's gallanty show.
King.
Shadows, I fear, that coming troubles throw.
I have supped full of horrors all the night—
Dreamed of the devil, and waked in a fright.
Rats.
The supper full of horrors, I suppose,
Was that you took before you went to doze.
King.
I saw the two brats Catspaw had to smother!
Rats.
You'd two Welch rabbits following one another.
King.
That's true. Od'rabbit 'em! my heart's at ease—
Good Ratsbane! I forgot the toasted cheese!
This settles of such brain-sick stuff the question,—
Fools call it conscience—wise men indigestion.
But still with Catspaw I a word would speak—
Rats.
With Catspaw, sire—you had him hanged last week.
King.
I had forgot that too!
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Such trifling things
May easily escape the minds of kings.
King.
What did I hang him for?
Rats.
Nobody knew.
Perhaps because you'd nothing else to do.
King.
I don't remember—but it's no great matter,
As he is hanged of course he cannot chatter.
And oh, my Ratsbane! if those babes are living!
Rats.
Why should you think so?
King.
I've a strange misgiving.
The Queen, too, had a daughter—Sylvan's sister.
One morning, just about that time, we missed her.
Rats.
'Twas rumoured she was stolen by a fairy.
King.
Have you heard anything to the contrary?
Rats.
Never.
King.
No more have I—but rather deem
I saw her last night in that same bad dream!
If so—Oh, Ratsbane! there's more fish to fry
Than is dreamed of in your philos—
Rats.
O fie!
To King so great can infants cause alarms!
Particularly when they're not in arms?
Duo—King and Ratsbane—“Giles Scroggins.”
Rats.
Consider, first—you've got the crown—
King.
Right! Tol de riddle, lol de ray!
Rats.
That you are up—and they are down—
King.
Right again! Tol de rol, de ray!
Rats.
Two Kings of Brentford!—one had squealed;
But with no Richmond in the field,
It cannot be your Kew to yield!
King.
Very right! Tol de riddle, lol de ray!
Rats.
Possession's nine points of the law—
King.
Right! Tol de riddle, lol de ray!
Rats.
'Twas in a dream those brats you saw—
King.
Right (perhaps?) Tol de rol, de ray!
Rats.
But say they live, and should shew fight—
Upon your side have you not might?
And, having that, pray, what is right?
King.
Right? All—Tol de riddle, lol de ray
Rats.
Consider, first—you've got the crown—
King.
Right! Tol de riddle, lol de ray!
Rats.
That you are up—and they are down—
King.
Right again! Tol de rol, de ray!
Rats.
Two Kings of Brentford!—one had squealed;
But with no Richmond in the field,
It cannot be your Kew to yield!
King.
Very right! Tol de riddle, lol de ray!
Rats.
Possession's nine points of the law—
King.
Right! Tol de riddle, lol de ray!
Rats.
'Twas in a dream those brats you saw—
King.
Right (perhaps?) Tol de rol, de ray!
Rats.
But say they live, and should shew fight—
Upon your side have you not might?
And, having that, pray, what is right?
King.
Right? All—Tol de riddle, lol de ray
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My bosom's comforter!
Enter Eavesdrop.
What news with thee?
Eaves.
Prince Sylvan—
King.
Ah!
Eaves.
Returned—
King.
Alone?
Eaves.
With three
Young strangers in exceedingly strange dresses!
King.
(aside)
Ratsbane! Prince Almond and the two Princesses.
Rats.
So much the better—they are in your power!
King.
Arrest and send them all to the Black Tower!
Rats.
Prince Sylvan?
King.
He and all—shop the whole lot of them!
The sons of guns—I'll very soon be shot of them!
Away!
(Exit Ratsbane)
Eaves.
My liege! without there is a bevy
Of lords in waiting to attend your levee.
King.
Admit them!
(Exit Eavesdrop)
We are primed to meet the worst!
Abaddun rises.
Abad.
I have the entrée and crave audience first.
King.
(aside)
There couldn't be a worse, I must admit!
(aloud)
Where did you come from?
Abad.
Pray don't mention it.
King.
What did you come for?
Abad.
For my fee—I claim it,
For service done—you promised I should name it.
King.
Well! name it.
Abad.
Just accept that little bill. (handing him a slip of paper)
King.
To oblige you, most certainly I will. (puts it in his pocket)
Abad.
No joking! I've your royal word—stand by it.
All four are in your power.
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I don't deny it.
Abad.
“Name your own fee,” you said. I have and want it.
King.
Name it!—that's true. I never said I'd grant it.
Abad.
A quibble! Bruin, give the devil his due!
King.
No, no. The devil take me if I do!
Abad.
Done by a clod of clay! I feel quite dizzy.
King.
If you've no more to say, I'm very busy.
Abad.
Accept that bill. I ask you once again.
King.
Thou troublest me—I am not in the vein!
Abad.
Enough. Next time 'twill be my turn to sell!
King.
Till then we bid you heartily farewell.
(Abaddun sinks)
Having done him, I have no more to do!
(music)
Enter Courtiers, &c.
My lords and gentlemen—
Enter Dame.
A lady, too!
Dame.
Prepare thy brow to frown! Know'st thou me yet?
King.
By all our stars! the mother of the set
Of traitors we have just now sent to quod!
Dame.
'Tis even so; though you may think it odd,
I come, with my own head their heads to ransom.
King.
Well, I must say that is uncommon handsome!
Dame.
My head to flatter, if 'tis your intent,
I grieve I can't return the compliment.
I come to bully Bruin—not to praise him!
To bait the bear—
King.
As yet you you but amaze him!
Dame.
I've that to say will more your bear pole puzzle,
Despite the rage which loads it to the muzzle!
King.
(representing a movement)
Let her alone—she shall have rope enough!
Such fustian cannot ruffle me.
Dame.
That's stuff!
Your conscience pricks you, spite of all your scorns;
It isn't the first time you've sat on thorns!
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Ha! Dare you own you set your royal guest on—
Dame.
A seat 'twould not become me here to jest on.
But there are sharper points behind to weather;
I now come to unseat you altogether!
King.
How!
Dame.
Aye, usurper, to that end I came!
Prince Almond rightful King I here proclaim!
Heir of the poisoned Philbert—
King.
Seize and smother
The witch!
Enter Queen hastily.
Queen.
My liege!
King.
The Queen?
Dame.
Aye, there's another
Poor victim! Madam, you had once a daughter.
Queen.
Oh, yes! and I've just heard she's doomed to slaughter.
Good woman, can you tell me of her whereabouts?
Dame.
She's now in the Black Tower, ma'am, or thereabouts.
King.
Villains, will no one stop that woman's mag?
(aside)
She's letting every cat out of the bag.
(Guards advance, but are repulsed by Dame, who points the sprig of thyme towards them)
Dame.
No one can stop my mag unless I choose!
I came to stand in your poor captives' shoes.
King.
Stand in their shoes! No, you shall fall to boot.
Queen.
This is past bearing. Bruin, you're a brute!
King.
Look to the Queen! (an Officer advances)
Queen.
I'm going with my daughter.
(faints in the arms of Officer)
King.
She faints. Go! (aside to Officer)
Pop her in a butt of water,
And keep her under till you're sure it's over.
(they bear out Queen)
When she is gone Bruin may live in clover.
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As to that vixen, with her arms akimbo,
To the Black Tower with her—there, in limbo,
To wait, with the whole crew of rosicrucians,
The most excruciating executions.
(music)
(Exit, attended—Dame waves the sprig of thyme, which drives off the Guards)
Dame.
Now, Fairy Thyme, prove, without any humming,
You're the good time that's been so long a coming.
Air—Dame—“The Last Polka.”
You're the good time that's been so long a coming.
Fairy Thyme! in the Black Tower!
Magical sprig
Prove that you twig.
Fairy Thyme! now is the hour—
The right time of day, my flower!
Magical sprig
Prove that you twig.
Fairy Thyme! now is the hour—
The right time of day, my flower!
Bolt and bar useless are,
Out of the black hole here
I could soon bolt the moon,
If not on parole here.
Out of the black hole here
I could soon bolt the moon,
If not on parole here.
Fairy Thyme, &c.
Hobbs, the Yankee, without humming,
In less time can't pick a lock;
To my friends this good Thyme coming,
Will shew I know what's o'clock!
In less time can't pick a lock;
To my friends this good Thyme coming,
Will shew I know what's o'clock!
Fairy Thyme, &c.
(Exit)
Scene Fourth.
—Prison Court of the Black Tower—Finfin, Lirette, Myrtis, and Prince Sylvan in chains, and fastened by other chains to rings in the wall.
Quarlette—Lirette, Finfin, Myrtis, and Prince—“Olga Waltz.”
All.
Why did misfortune sell me,
Upon my wedding day?
Fin.
Now chained to a wall,
Lir.
In sorrow we squall
Myr.
This burden which all
Prince.
The little boys bawl.
Fin.
And though rather more tall
Than those very boys small,
We are forced to sing smaller than they.
All.
Why did misfortune sell me, &c.
Lir.
All.
Why did misfortune sell me,
Upon my wedding day?
Fin.
Now chained to a wall,
Lir.
In sorrow we squall
253
This burden which all
Prince.
The little boys bawl.
Fin.
And though rather more tall
Than those very boys small,
We are forced to sing smaller than they.
All.
Why did misfortune sell me, &c.
Eventful day! Thy happy dawn augments
My sorrow at this sad chain of events.
Myr.
Is this the way I hoped to change my state,
Or these the bonds in which I'd speculate?
Prince.
Sad bonds! bad change! which, like some base stock jobbery,
Belie the proverb of “Exchange no robbery!”
Fin.
How close the parallel 'twixt our careers,
And that of bubble companies appears.
A cunning juggler is the scheme's projector,
And a lame duck the principal director.
Lured on by quacking till there comes a call
On some few holders to pay up for all,
You find beyond the mark you've blindly toddled,
The “plant” has caught you, and the duck has waddled.
In smoke dissolves the fairy-like prospectus,
Friends can all blame, but deuce a one protect us.
Pockets cleaned out, and body popped in prison,
How many a fool in our fate looks on his'n.
Music—Enter Dame through wall.
Dame.
Lucky for you that you have one friend still
To your poor backs, with both the power and will.
Prince.
The dear good woman!
Myr.
Come with us to fall?
Fin.
In the same boat!
Lir.
Bound to the same black wall!
Dame.
No, I'm not bound, except by obligation,
Your white bait brought me to this Blackwall Station;
254
Most easily could work my passage out.
Fin.
Our wonder with our hope your words increase.
Lir.
The tyrant has not battered at your peace?
Dame.
I come to snatch you from his fatal hug,
And break about his ears his black stone jug.
Fear not for me—I'm armed to bear and brave all,
My own extinguisher! but yet your save-all!
Fin.
Your own extinguisher! Opaque remark!
Put out yourself, and leave us in the dark!
Dame.
No, in a blaze of triumph you will rise!
But lo! here Bruin comes—now ope your eyes,
And shut your mouths, and see how I will laugh
To scorn the bear and all his ragged staff.
Enter King Bruin and Guards.
King.
Locks, bolts, and bars, who's making here so free?
Dame.
Don't agitate yourself—it's only me.
King.
Ho! Ratsbane! Eavesdrop! Hangdogs! what the deuce!
Here's Mrs. Thingumbob, out on the loose!
(Ratsbane and Eavesdrop enter hurriedly)
Plotting, no doubt, a general jail delivery.
Rats.
Sire, we've just made the wonderful diskivery;
In the strong room with fetters I confined her,
But stone won't stop—nor iron help to bind her.
Through granite walls she walks her chalks with ease,
As if the blocks were but of chalk or cheese.
Eaves.
By watch and turnkey neither sound nor step heard.
King.
(to Dame)
Zounds! are you Jack-a-Lanthorn, or Jack Shephard?
Dame.
You have said all along I was a witch;
Are you astonished I behave as sich?
King.
We'll try you for one in a brace of shakes.
That flagstone covers a pit full of snakes.
As it mayn't easy be to hang or burn you,
Into that vault 'tis our intent to turn you,
And leave it to the vipers and the vermin
The question of your witchcraft to determine.
Dame.
I'm ready 'gainst your serpents to be pitted,
But first I'll see you for your crimes committed
255
Prince Almond!
King.
Up, slaves, with that flag, and fling
The traitress in!
Dame.
Your flag she'll first haul down.
To the true sovereign yield your stolen crown!
(as she points the sprig of thyme to Finfin the chains fall from him and the others, and King appears in chains himself)
(to Nobles and Guards)
Upon your marrow-bones, you rebels, all,
And hail King Almond loud as you can bawl!
(they shout)
(to Finfin and the others)
Live for each other—now I die for you.
Fin.
Never say die—you never used to do!
Dame.
You are restored, the Fates my prayers have heard,
And a good woman never breaks her word
Were I to waver 'twould unchain the bear—
All would be “as you was” and “as you were.”
'Tis true I'm not your mammy nor your pappy;
But what's the odds so long as you are happy.
Fin.
Odds that against the world I'd sooner take,
Than you should lay your life down for my sake.
Lir.
Yes! rather let us all the vault, vault in.
Dame.
I must go in alone—for you to win!
So hence I cast the thyme that's been my stay;
In such a cause, 'tis not time thrown away!
(flings the sprig from her, and is about to jump into the vault, when Abaddun rises from it, and the Fairy Fragrant enters and stops her)
Fairy.
Hold you! (to Abaddun, who seizes King)
And you hold him, and hold him fast!
King.
The devil!
Abad.
He will have his due at last.
I keep my promise better far than you:
I said I'd find a hole to pull you through!
256
When to its mouth I've got 'em,
My friends must through; for it has got no bottom!
(sinks with King in his grasp)
Fairy.
(to Dame)
'Twas but to try your heart. As true as bold!
In nature, as in name, 'tis sterling gold!
Go on and prosper—as all persons should
Who act like the Good Woman in the Wood!
(waves her wand—The scene changes to a magnificent testimonial, presented by the whole Fairy Company to the Good Woman in the Wood)
Finale—“Last Polka.”
Fin.
Fairy time comes but once a year!
Welcome it here!
Greet with a cheer
The friend who beside us so bravely has stood—
The Good Woman in the Wood!
Dame.
Once again,
We would fain
Fairy laurels gather,
You alone, to house or throne,
Can make our title “good.”
All.
Fairy time comes but once a year, &c.
Tableau.
CURTAIN.
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