University of Virginia Library

ACT III.

SCENE I.

Enter STRATIPPOCLES and CHÆRIBULUS.
STRATIPPOCLES.
I grieve and fret my heart out, waiting how
Epidicus's promises will end—
In any thing, or nothing, I'd fain know—

Chæ.
'Tis my opinion, you seek aid elsewhere—
I from the first, knew you'd have none from him.

Stra.
Undone! undone!

Chæ.
Consider how absurd
Thus to torment yourself—

Stra.
By Hercules!
If I but once can catch him, he shall know
A slave shall never trick us unreveng'd—
What can he do, when you, who have at home
Money to spare, will not assist your friend.

Chæ.
Had I the money, I would promise freely—
In troth I would—But it is odds that something—
Something—will happen—something in some manner—
From some place—or some other—from some person—
And you may have some hope—to share with me
In my good fortune.—

Stra.
You're a sneaking fellow—
Fie, fie upon you!—

Chæ.
Why to me this language!

Stra.
Because you're prating to me about something—
Some manner—from some place, and from some this—
Some that,—some t'other body—And all this
Nought to the purpose, nor do I attend to't—
Nor from this time shall I e'er more expect
From you assistance, than from one not born.—

SCENE II.

Enter EPIDICUS, [from Periphanes's house with a bag of money.
Epi.
You've done your duty; mine remains to do.—
[to Periphanes within.]
This care of mine may lighten you of yours.
You hope the loss may bring some good to you.
How bright the pieces are!—Trust it to me—
Thus still act I—as did my ancestors.
Gods! what a lucky day have you bestow'd!
How easy, how unlook'd for! But I wast
The time, while this supply I should be bearing
In safety to our colony.—What's here?
Two friends before the house!—It is my master,
And Chæribulus—What now?—Take the bag—

[to Stratippocles.
Stra.
What sum does it contain?

Epi.
Enough and more.
I've brought ten minæ more than what you owe
The banker—while I can in this oblige,
I value not my back a rush.—

Stra.
How so?

Epi.
I'll make your father guilty of bag-slaughter—

Stra.
Your meaning?—

Epi.
I mind not your common forms;
Be you content to lead him by the nose,
And pick his pockets, while I pick his bags!
The pandar, [coming forward]
Sir, has swallow'd the whole sum
For this same girl, your father deems his daughter.
'Tis paid—I told the money with these hands—
Nay, more—To cheat your father, and help you,
I've had some talk with, and persuaded him
To take effectual care, at your return,
To hinder you from getting at the girl,
“By buying her before-hand for himself,
“And pack her off into some private corner.
“Now will I top another girl upon him,
“And she will serve him every jot as well.

Stra.
Well done!

Epi.
She'll be directly at your house
And pass there for your mistress.—

Stra.
Oh! I take you—

Epi.
Your father too has spoken to Apœcides
To take it on himself, and seem the purchaser;
And he's now waiting for me at the Forum.

Stra.
That's well.

Epi.
The biter's bit tho', after all.
He has put the purse into my hands himself,
And he's at home preparing for your wedding [to him.]

As soon as you arrive.

Stra.
On one condition,
And only one, will I consent to that.
The death of the dear girl, I brought home with me.

Epi.
One more device, I've still behind—I'll go
In private to the pandar's house, and tell him,
If ask'd the price o'th'musick-girl, to say,
'Twas fifty minæ.—That's the very sum
I paid him three days since with my own hands,
For t'other girl, your father thinks his daughter.
On which, he'll wish destruction on his head,
If 'twas not for the girl you brought home with you,
He had the money.

Stra.
Subtlety itself!—

Epi.
Now will I hire some cunning musick-girl
Who shall pretend to be the party purchas'd,
And well instructed, play on the old men.
As such she shall be sent unto Apœcides,
To carry to your father.—

Stra.
Well contriv'd—

Epi.
And thus prepar'd, and laden with my tricks,
I'll send her straight—But I prate here too long,
And you too long have waited—What's to come
You know.—I'm gone.—

Stra.
Go, and success attend you!

[Exit Epidicus.
Chæ.
A subtle dog at mischief!

Stra.
Sure I am
His shrewd advice has been my preservation.—

Chæ.
Then let us to my house—

Stra.
And better pleas'd
Than when we sallied thence—I, by the courage
And conduct of Epidicus, return
Laden with spoils and plunder to the camp.

[Exeunt into Chæribulus's house.