 | The Eunuch |  |
Scen. 2.
Gna.Oh you immortall gods! how farre one man
Outstrips another? and what difference is
Twixt men of braine, and fooles? this argument
Comes to my minde on this occasion.
To day I met one, of my rancke and place;
No niggard pinch-gut: but one, tooke delight
To hauocke out his state in daintie morsels.
I note him rugged, nastie, drooping growne;
Beset with ragges and age. Why how now fellow,
Say I to him, what does this dressing meane?
Marrie, saies he, poore creature hauing lost
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Acquaintance, friends, all do abandon me.
Here I beganne (measuring my owne estate)
To hold him in contempt; and schoole him thus:
What, idle drone, hast thou so fram'd thy course
That no hope's left thee? hast thou sent thy wits
After thy wealth? doost not obserue me
One of thine owne ranke and condition?
What cloathing, coulor, neatnesse, plight of body
Haue I? haue euery thing though nothing haue:
And nought possessing, yet do nothing want.
I but (sighes out my fellow) I poore caitife
Cannot indure to be a ieasting stocke,
Nor suffer stripes for money. What, I prithe
(Reply I) should be gotten that way, thinkst?
Thou art cleane wide: in former times, of old,
Such kind of fellowes, shifted out a liuing:
This a new way of birding found by me.
There are a sort of men that faine would shew
To haue rare parts; and yet are nothing so.
I follow these; to these my selfe apply;
Not to make them sporte by my foolerie,
But my owne sport of them I smile on these,
Withall admire their wits: what ere they please
To say I do commend it: if straight way
They do the very selfesame thing vnsay,
I praise that too: ought say they, ought denie?
The same I say, denie for company.
In fine, I on my selfe impose this law:
Their humors at all hands to sooth and claw:
And this is now found the most thriuing way.
Par.
Troth a fine fellow: he of fooles mintes madmen.
Gna.
While thus we talke, we reach to th'market place:
The ioyfull Victlers haste to meete me there;
Fish-mungers, Butchers, Saulsagemakers, Cookes,
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both beneficiall, while my state stood good;
And since twas sunke: and still aduantage them.
These me salute, inuite me home to dine:
Do welcome me. The Hungerstarued fellow
I nam'd, seeing the accompt men made o' me,
And that I sai'd so well, so easily,
Humbly besought me he might learne the made.
I bade him follow that if 't may be wrought,
Like as professed Philosophers haue sought
To keepe their names vp in their sectaries,
According to their doctrines qualities,
Epicures, Cynickes, Stoickes, Platonickes:
So these my followers be stil'd Gnatonickes.
Par.
Do you not note what ease and trusting to
Other mens roast, may worke a man to do?
Gna.
Yet why thus loyter I, and not conuey
This maid to Thais; and her further pray
To come to supper? but sve Parmeno
The souldiers Riuals seruant, at her doore.
Hees melancholy: all's well. Sure the folke here
Are frostie witted: I am now determind.
To play vpon the foole.
Par.
By this their guift
They thinke that Thais now's their owne cocke-sure.
Gnat.
Gnato does greete his chiefe friend Parmeno.
With wishes of much health. What dost man?
Par.
Stand.
Gna.
I see't, but seest ought here does trouble thee?
Par.
Yes, thee.
Gna.
I do beleeue it; but ought else?
Par.
Why askst?
Gna.
Because y' are sad.
Par.
Not I truly.
Gna.
No, be not. But what thinks thou of this maid?
Par.
Thus you now meane, that we are cashierd hence.
Las, all things suffer intercourse of change.
Gna.
Parm'no: for these sixe whole moneths together.
Ile set thee at rest from trudging vp and downe
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Par.
Me? wounderfully!
Gna.
So I vse my friends.
Par.
I do commend you for it.
Gna.
I detaine you:
Perhaps you were to go some whither else.
Par.
No whither, I.
Gna.
Then I pray a little
Lend me your furtherance: worke my entrance here.
Par.
Well sir go on. Your passage now lies faire
By reason of this maid you bring with you.
Gna.
Would ye haue any cald to you out of th'house?
Exit Gnato and Pamphila.
Par.
Let but two dayes be passed ouer once;
And you that haue the happie readinesse
With your least finger now to ope the doores,
Ile make you many a time hereafter knocke
And kicke your heeles against'hem to no purpose
Enter Gnato.
Gna.
What do you still attend here Parmeno?
Pray, are you plac'd there sentinell, to watch
Least any priuate messenger should runne
Betweene the souldier and Thais hither.
Exit Gnato againe.
Par.
Conceitedly! but indeede they must be
Things extraordinary, that may please
Enter Chærea.
The souldier. But my Masters younger sonne
I spie a coming hither: I do maruell
What tis hath drawne him out of the Pyreum:
For there at this time he is publique Custos.
Tis not for nothing. And he com's in haste:
And (why God knowes) his eyes about doos cast.
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