University of Virginia Library

Actus secundus

scena prima

Clamitant intus servi

Where is he lay houlde on him knoc[ke]
downe w
t h him I will haue one ioynt [of] some ons fleshe.

M.
See yow not by the masse the knaves slipt away
my knighthodd is vtterly stanid for ever
a thousand pounde I had rather haue lost by this day
then this shoulde haue chaunced Ide haue fought my selfe lever.
Fye one yow beggars brattes what a praye haue we lost
a shame take yow slaves how haue you me vsed
Marry sir this Jacke prate will go boste
and say he hath cowde me. shall I thus be abused

Or.
I had rather haue found fortye pens my selfe that I had
If I take him right fort ile pay him oth peticote

Oe.
Ys he gone gads sides. this is too badde
Ile giue him his olde fippens if it lye in my lote

Mi.
Yow valiant vacabonndes why taried yow so longe
aledge a good cause or Ile rape you oth rages

Oe.
We coulde not but we must haue sustained great wronge
and shamed your worshippe with my beggarly Jages

Mi.
Why is not thy cote made of goode spanishe clothe
will not this livery your carcasse besime

Œ.
To tell yow my selfe I am some what loth
I am so frayde that youle fall in a fime

Mi.
Tel me then Orgalus as you feare my displeasure
Nay tell me in dede wt hout any laughter

Œ.
Good Orgelus tell him if thou hast so much leasure
if thou nedst ile doe as much for the hereafter

Or.

Mi.
Thou disardly dronkerd thou besillinge beast
Ile bum fiddle the in faith ile swaddle your skinn
must you be wt h your cherye boles makinge a feast
when one me yow should tende will you never linn.

Œ.
O myne armes o my sides youle kill me bith mas
alas alas alas I praye yow strike not so sore
O my bones o my ribes a ladie & alas
Yf youle spare me this tyme ile never doe more.

sena 2

Intrat Cacurgus.
Ca.
Gods sokinges houlde your handes stay ith quenes name
Ile be his suretie what spare him this once
haue a knave betwext you then fy stay for shame
Gods bodye what will yow lay me oth bones

M.
Nay thou art well served for takinge his parte
dost thou drinke all thy thrift thou swilbold swadd

Ca.
Yow hatt me oth costarde I beshrewe your hart
Yow beginn to be as curst as ere was your dadd.

Œ.
I deserved mine & more to I confesse willinglye
Yow strike I am sure but of corage & might
[I h]ope to see yow past the nine worthies verelie
[I w]***ent yow wt hin this yeare yow shall be dubd a knight

Mi.
Ah sirra yow beginn to knowe your dewty nowe
I must nedes loue the i faithe thart as good as ere twangde

Oe.
I thanke yow that yow sparde my braynes & my browe
if I can helpe sure the old carle shall be hangde.

Ca.
What did yow not feake him fye thats a shame
Yow promisd me that youe wolde when I sent him out

Oe.
Cacurgus I must nedes confesse my selfe was to blame
but let me alone ile come mete wt h the loute

Mi.
Well sayde i faithe but tell me my men
how shall we spende this hole after noone

Œ.
Marry Sr I had thought to haue told yow eren then
I can helpe yow to huntinge of too legged venicin

Mi.
What canst thou my sonne marry thou art worth twentye

Or.
Yf thou canst Œnophilus tell my master in hast

Oe.
Ile bringe ye to a morsell that is tender & dentye
sheis not so much as my spann in hir wast

Ca.
By the mas I knowe hir sheis a good smogly lace
she a hundred tymes better then any scemish rigg

Mi.
Giue me thy hand thoust haue a house & bringe this to passe
I woulde aske no more of hir but one scottish gigge.

Oe.
But one Ile promisse ye the gettinge of a bastarde
Yest haue one night at lest & more if I can

Ca.
Yf ye be shamefast sheile counte yow but a dastarde
Yow must sticke to her & stande to it like a man

Or.
Sheis a smurkinge wenche in dede I knowe her of olde.
but when did she make the this promisse tell vs

Oe.
And yow knewe hir yow woulde say so she is dapper & bolde
Right nowe man in the way as I went to the alhouse

Mi.
What saide she Oenophilus if thou loust me tell trwe
lett me heare hir owne wordes as yu wouldest haue me doe for ye

Oe.
Come yu or thy frend at any tyme due
Or thy frendes frende saide she I thinke she did dore me

Mi.
Gods fishe lettes be gone me thinke now I haue hir
till I see hir Oenophilus I shall thinke the tyme longe

Ca.
What softe yow Sr yowe may yet say god saue hir
before I goe hence I must nedes haue a songe.

Mi.
A songe wt h a horsenightcappe singe they at liste
Till I see my trule Ile nether singe nor say

Ca.
Alas good man he must nedes nowe be kiste
what I pray yow for my sake a litle yet stay

Oe.
Lettes hate then quickly Cacurgus or Ile be gone too
& lettes haue such a one that will slie vpp delight

Mi.
Go to I am content then singe one & no moe
beginn you Cacurgus & take your tune righte

Ca.
fa fa fa sol sol sol cods thats too low
la la, la, me, me, re, bith masse thats as hye

Mi.
Take hede Sr yow goe not to low for the crowe

Ca.
& take hede Sr yow goe not to hye for the pye

Or.
None of hus to tell the truthe can singe well meane
to hie or to lowe we singe everye one

Ca.
Well then bycause you take me for your deane
Ile apoynt the partes my selfe by saint John
You shall singe the false kinde I meane yow know what
& thoust bere ye bas because thou art rustye
the counterfet tener is youres by youre lott
my selfe will singe ye truble & that very trusty
A songe to the tune of hartes ease

Ca.
Gods breadlings are the knaves gone & lefte me behinde them
I woulde they were vp tothe necke ith brooke all three
I may looke longe inoughe or ere I shall finde them.
so god helpe me my master doe you thinke he did not heare me.

Scena tertia.

Intrant philogonus et [Litur] gus.
Phi.
Is it true Liturgus that yow tolde me of my sonne

Li.
Its too trwe I feare me I harde a great noyse

Phi.
Alas a a gods will then I am vtterlie vndone
art thou sure thou hardst my frende Eupelas voyce

Li.
I am sure he mett with your sonne in the waye
and advertised him to doe his dewtie to yow
after that I am sure there was here fought a fraye.
and one as had ben stickt did crie out and lowe.

Ca.
Ha ha ha ha ha I must neds laughe in my slefe
the wise men of gotum are risen againe
Peter poppum doth make his master beleiue
that Misogonus his soone hath Eupelas slayne.

Phi.
Woe worth the tyme that ever I begatt him
such a one I thinke was never yet breade

Li.
He did but cuggill him a litle & rate him
the worste I hope is but a broken heade

Ca.
I woulde it were broken & thine to by my trothe
thou maist chaunce haue thine if thou takst not good hede
how the pickethankes doth make the olde man wrothe
when as yet god wott he hath litle nede

Phi.

Ca.
Die when thou wilt weil haue an oxe eaten
the soner the better thoust doe vs lesse wronge.

Phi.
What harte of flynte coulde abyde this mishaps
[No]t one in all Europe I thinkes in my case

Ca.
Nay softe thouste haue yett some more thunder claps
Ile make him defie the even face to face

Phi.
Theirs no man I am sure that loues his sonne better
or that woulde fayner bringe him to honest livinge
a thousande pound gladlye I would wishe my selfe detter
if yet at the lengthe he woulde tourne to some thrivinge

Li.
Why Sr he hath not yet sowne all his wilde otes
he is but yonge trulie he must nedees runne his race

Ca.
Heile shortlye make the singe the cuccolds notes
thy wife loues him well in space cōmeth grace

Phi.
A Liturgus remembres thou what
thou wert wonnt to tell me when he was but yonge

Li.
My worde is no gospell for all that I thinke not
but he will returne to vertue or longe

Phi.
I praye god he may but I am quite out of hope
What companie vseth he tell me in faithe

Li.
Such companye as in deede will bringe him toth rope
Yf he leave them not the scripture so saithe

Ca.
The scripture yow Jack sauce a scripp & a staffe
were more meter for such a clumpertone as thou arte
tauke thou of rubbinge horses and of such risse raffe.
the souterlye thikscinn came but last yeare fromth cart

Phi.
Well there is no remedye heil be my death I knowe
I may suffer a while but I can not longe indure

Li.
Gods aboue all thoughe you thinke him past whoo
He may yet reduce him therof be you sure

Phi.

Ca.
A curste cowe hath shorte hornes what downe great harte
be good in your office woulde yow whipp him in dede
he shoulde fynde some frende that woulde take his parte
for your whippinge I warrent yow, yow shoulde haue smale mede

Phi.

Li.
I warrent yow I heis nether wounded nor slayne
had a litle girmumble I thinke & no more

exit
Ca.
Ha ha. now will I goe playe will sommer agayne
and seme as verie a gose as i waz before
musche a douche yow, vounder.

Phi.
The foole thinkes trulye I am still at supper
what will sommer frome whence comest thou

Ca.
Cha bene so farr yt cham sore in my crupper
cha bene sadlinge my gofe cuccolds cowe

Phi.
A wise reason god helpe him yt ye noddy bringes out.
but tell me didst thou see thy yonge master alate

Ca.
He was here right now and wt h Jack nophiles fought
cham may say to yow vounder there were a grate bate

Phi.
Nay thou art decevd it were Eupelas thy cosin
waste not he that I called to supper at night

Ca.
Vye vye no can knowe him from a dosin
twore he that before put my master to flighte.

Phi.
Art thou sure of that will marry thats good nuse
did he put thy master to flighte canst thou tell

Ca.
Otes a grumme horsonne vounder he made him to muse
and put him quite to zilens he looked so fell

Phi.
The fooles wordes doth my hart yet somewhat releive
but I praye the will whether is thy Mr nowe gone

Ca.
And youl giue me some dingdonges to hange at my sleife
Ile tell yow by my trothe both whether and when

Phi.
Mary that thou shalt or Ile pull them from my hose
holde the & tell me true to, & thoust be my lurdinge

Ca.
Aha this a trime one in dede has a golden nose
Ile tell ye vort, a went in right now a burdinge

Phi.
A burdinge like inoughe I thinke to cathe a buntinge
had he any dogges wt h him or no knowst thou well

Ca.
I am sure I heis gone a very horehuntinge
had a brase of houndes wt h him that were good oth smell

Phi.
But how shoulde I knowe when he comes agayne home
wilt thou here remayne & then bringe me worde

Ca.
I can tell that thoughe I be but a mome
but cham not fotherdd for all night, had nothinge at board

Phi.
What welcome Liturgus thou hast well hide
howe doth my frende Eupelas? is he well and in health?

Li.
Heis well sir, but at home a while heile abyde
anone heile come see yow thoughe it be by stealth

Phi.
Weile go home ith meane space then & rest vs both twane
to watch for thy master thoust tarry her still

Ca.
By my fathers soule I had rather go and come againe
Cham a hungred by my veckinges chil haue my zoule yt I will

exeunt omnes

Scena quarta.

·Interloquitores·
Misogonus. Eupelas. Oenophilus. Melissa meritrix.
Mis.
Come one my swete harte how fare yow be merye
what slandes your minde to speake and weile gett it
ahe my harte of goulde as swete as a cherye
what iste yow fansye speake one shall goe fett it.

Melissa.
There is nothinge my trwe loue that I can desire
I haue inoughe onely when yow I imbrace

Or.
Gods populorum she hath sett him one fyer
in hir loue tickes the quene has a passinge good grace

Mis.
Tell me fare ladye will yow range in the feilde
will yow heare the birdes singe & smell the swete floure

Melissa.
I knowe the delits that the medowes can yeilde
I had rather and it please yow stay here in this bowre

Mis.
What then my harte route will yow drinke some more wine
Oenophilus goe fetche me heare a whole hogeshedd

Œ.
Yow shall haue in haste of the best muschedine
Orgalus yt will be goode to supple my codesheade

Mellissa.
Its nedlesse (my none) I pray yow sende him not
I haue dronke so muche that my bellie ene grones

Mis.
What will yow then haue some thinge shalbe gott
that will please yow while youe haue a cast at the bones

Me.
And yow will my darlinge I am therwith contente
I playde not beleive me this many a day

Mis.
Here ye my youthes gett me dice incontinent
at what game faire mayden doe yow moste loue to play

Me.
I care not at what so you haue a smale stake
Money I tell yow wt h me now & than draweth lowe

Mis.
Money woman thers money playe that for my sake
Yf yow lacke any money looke that I knowe

Or.
Thers nether of vs tow hath a dye more or lesse
we were never in our lives I am sure worse storde

Mis.
Gods bodye gett me dice or I shall yow blesse
Yf I haue them not quickly Ile swaddle yow wt h a corde

Or.
A man may goe all this towne rounde aboute
and fynde not a dye I thinke of my conscience

Mis.
Packe yow ye villane or ile slitt you thorowe snout
and doe your deede quicklye without any dalience

Me.
It were good also (my Joy) yf some mate he coulde get
that would beare vs companye and make vs some sport

Or.
So I might perhaps thoroughe all the stretes Jett
[And] losinge my laboure, soyle my selfe in the durste

[Mis.]
*** [whe]n I byde the and gett the some one
***** [of] seruice ile turne the like a beg[gerlye Jacke]

Œ.
Harke a worde Orgalus what saist thou to Sr John
nether cardes nor dice I am sure he doth lacke

Mis.
What shoulde I doe wt h ye preist thou bussardly best
Ile haue some younker & there be any ith towne

Or.
How doth he differ I pray yow from the reste
heis no more a prist then yow ar & he were out of his gowne

Oe.
Disdayne yow Sr John as good as yow will haue his companye
as the fellowlist prist that is in this shire
To all the lusty guttes he is knowne for his honestye
has not one dropp of pristes bludd in him my thinke I durst swere

Me.
Of all loues I pray let your man fetch him hether
I haue harde a good reporte of him & it be he that I meane

Mi.
Ey, goe for him Sirra & come agayne together
yf he be such a one I would speak wt h him fayne

Oe.
I am acquainted wt h him sir and yow please Ile goe call him
both at cardes and dice I knowe him to be skilfull
heile not stick to daunce if company befalle him
in Game wt h a gentleman heile never be wilfull.

Or.
He Sr I am sure heis not wt hout a dosin pare of dice
I durst Jepert heis now at cardes or at tables
A bible nay soft youe heile yet be more wise
I tell yow heis none of this new start vp rables.
Thers no honest pastime but he putes it in sure
not one game come comes vpp but he has it bith backe
everye wench ith townes a quaīted with his lure
its pittye (so god helpe me) that ever he shoulde lacke

Me.
I shall thinke the tyme longe till I see him come in
I was beholden to him I remembre whent was

Mi.
Thoughe the drumbledary be longe at length heile him bringe
I am sure my bony wench heile take no nays

Intrat Cacur[gus.]
Ca.
Gadds baddy so soone haue yow founde out your minion
Is this my mistrisse yt shall be now saynt cuccold blesse yow
this a smurkinge wenche in deede this a fare mayde marion
sheis none of thes coy dames sheis as good as brown bessye

Or.
I be foole your harte Sirra yowr to full of your prate
her names dame Melissa my masters owne spouse

Ca.
Pardone good maddame will ye haue a nutmugge to grate
a minsinge las a honey swete blowse

Mis.
How likst thou hir Cacurgus is she not like a diamant in thy eye
is she not a sparkinge one dost thou not thinke hir angell

Ca.
Woulde yow giue me leaue to gett an eare one hir I would doe it by [& by]
I woulde doe it wt h a trisse I sweare by the vangell

Mis.
Out arrande hore māster woulst thou meddle wt h my woman
What your none mistrisse your masters none wife

Ca.
I crye me mercye Sr I hade thought she had bene yo[ur] *****
I praye god sende yow many & a louely longe lif[e]

[Mel.]
What (my (croute) let him alone this is yowr j [se]***
[It doth] me good to heare some ons mery ********

Mis.
I faythe (my conye) yow may knowe that by his vesture
the knaues full of bitcherie has a buggitfull of cheites

Intrat Oenophilus.
Oe.
Ife bene for yon man oth churche & wotte your where I had him
ith alhouse at whipperginnye as close as a burr.

Mis.
And why broughtes him not wt h the,

Oe.
I warrent yow I badd him
& hadd pleade but thie trickes heile come as round as a purr

Or.
Did not I tell you? I woulde he were vnpristed by Jis
theirs to fewe such as he is, he would make you a fine mann
heile not bash to grope a trul to, smacke & to kisse
we haue daunct & carded a hole weke & nere blanne

Me.
Good Lorde how it greveth me yt so longe he doth linger
till he come I shall thinke ereye minnit seven yeare

Oe.
He hath come twenty tymes at the beckinge of my finger
with a whope Ile haue him now by and by here
What hoe Sr John Sr John

Sir J.
Here ostice here ostice I come quater

Oe.
Come one Sr John you haue bene in some forsett
my mistrisse sendes in hast your pase yow must mende

Sir J.
I was so fast in that I coulde not thens gett
but where is ye gentlewoman yt for me did sende

Oy.
Here I haue brought him at your worshipps requeste
and this be not a right man your selfe be iudge

Mi.
Welcome Sr John now sure heis a beakinge prist
its pitty by my chrissondome thou shouldst be such a drudge

Sr.
Yf your worshipp lack a gamster ame a gamster very fayre
for a pound or tow Ile kepe yow company by day or by night
at cardes dice or tables or anythinge I will not spare
to kepe a gentleman compa[ny] I doe greatly delighte.

Me.
Now surely my cockeril this was good lucke
that so honest a copsmate were fetched vs to day

Ca.
What master ficker I must nedes chalinge this booke
theirs no remedy Ile haue it and my lesson go say

Or.
Bestowe them one him sir John ites a good mery greke
thes bookes by profession of right he must haue

Ca.
Ile fynde out my lesson or Ile over all seke
o here I hate now hers .K. for a knave.

Me.
What game master person do yow now most acquynt
lets haue some fine game that came latest vp

Sr J.
I haue many good games madame as ruff, mawe, & saint
or god a mercy goodfellowe when aboute goes the cupp

Me.
Nay but Ide rather at the dice haue a cast
haue yow any dice let vs see master ficker

Sr J.
Dice I haue plenty yow shall see them in hast
heirs even my study, if I hit of good licker

Mis.
What games can yow play at lets haue thos yow vse weckly
we trifle ye tyme let vs sticke to our tacklinge

Sr.
***k tack mume chaunce or novunce come quicly
****hinge any thinge its my dayly f[ac]k[ling]

Ca.
nun[cle] Good vnckle drawe a carde and thou lovest me
drawe what thou wilt for a penney ites thy brother.

Sr.
What I beleue for my cuninge thou provest me
my gowne to thine it will fall out another

Ca.
Done Sr John, twenty pound I haue wonn the preistes gowne
looke here my masters doe yow not knowe him bi his shankes

Œ.
Gods chekinge the pristes sland Ide rather a loste a crowne
the foole has beguild him wt h his knavish prankes

Mi.
Come let vs make the mach to novū we fiue
prepare your selves everie one in even battell rowe

Ca.
On then a gods name as many as will thrive
I praye you giue the preist leave to haue ye first throwe

Sr.
Sett then my masters a good lucke I beginn
rise winnings luckelye seven is my caste

Or.
By the mas I see well the preist is like to winn
soft frende giue me the dise your turne is paste

Me.
Hafe stake betwine yow & me this tyme Mr vickar
at all this Orgalus now happely rise

Mi.
Throwe & thou wilt throwe why throwst thou no thiker
throwe dreminge dissarde or else giue me the dise

Oy.
Gods sacringe I haue lost a noble at two settes
why dise no lucke to night will all be gone

Or.
By the mas Mr I thinke ye vickar will beates
forty shillings I am sure at least he hath wone

Mi.
How now mine owne blossum how like yow this sporte
doth not reioyse yow such pastime to vse

Me.
They can haue no better I am sure of the courte
I had rather be your wife then one of the stwes.

Sr.
Now Markus Marcurius helpe thy master at a pinch
its myne and there were fortye poundes at the stake

Oy.
The preistes handes ith mustardpott the knave throwe at ninch
has some dise of vauntadge myne oth I durst take

Or.
What luck wilt thou nevr tourne why bones what meane ye
I thought twould come at lenghe masse this was well drawne

Sr.
Sett lustilye my boykins or else I will stayne ye
by the motherkine a god that was knavishlye throwne

Me.
God haue mercy for that good disse yet that came ith nicke
one good stake in an houre is worth a meny driblinges

Sr.
What faynte ye my children fye thats a cowardes tricke
let me haue round game Ile none of thes niblinges

Ca.
Howe winnes now my masters howe pays here toth box[e]
what is the preist hande ith honye pott yet

[Or.]
Thoust gett nothinge here vnlesse it be knokes
except at this tyme I can haue a good hite

[Mis.]
How now vickar ha how goeth the world on your side
what doth dame fortune begin now to frowne

Sr.
A pox consume it It will now all slide
at everie cast I lesse a noble or a crowne

Oy.
Prist downe with that ruddake or Ile giue over
Ile not throwe ath bare borde sett and thout play.

Sr.
By god & all the world I shall never this recover
ther tis be lucky yet, its gone without stay

Or.
Nay Ile none of that frende yow play not now wt h boys
ery little wagpasty coulde say nought stake nought drawe

Oy.
Tut preste bringt out thou hast it weile none of thes toys
we are no such sucklings to take lubun̄ lawe

Sr.
By ye body of our Lorde Jesus Christe—their all hab or nabes
ether now come or the devill & his dame go wt h all

Or.
Ist my tourne be true to your master then my babes
O liuely lucke I haue wone a whole ryall

Me.
By S Mary I beshrowe you your play is too sore.
Your men haue a quarrill against me and the prist

Mi.
Theist goe like a couple of knaves I promisse them therfore
but let them doe their worst thoust not lacke by gods bleste

Sr.
Gods sydes will yow not trust me theirs my gowne for a pledge
Ile not leaue bith fyne woundes while I am worth a gree groat

Ca.
Whats his gowne gone too then he may go hange oth hedge
has the Marchant a shillinge so sone to nine pence brought.

Mi.
Care not man Ile be thy surtie theist doe the no wronge
Orgalus playe fare yow are but a Jangler

Ca.
By S sunday me thinkes I here the saunce bell goe ding donge
Oh sir John byth mattings yow must out for wrangler

Sr.
Ile play still come ont what will Ile never giue over ith lurtch
Let them ringe till their arses ake I knowe the worste

Oy.
Away prest by this tyme they are all come toth churche
for shame gett the hence prest thout be bonably curste

Mi.
Gods body is a right man in dede. preist kepe thy farme
is worth you all byth mas now I see heis no starter
theirs money sticke to ut I warrant thoust haue no harme
Yf thou nedst ath ordinarye Ile get the a charter

Sr.
By god I thanke you Sr my parishioners I am sure be content
to misse service one night so they knowe I am well occupied

Ca.
Its no matter person so they come of a good intent
I ame sure they care not how litle they be nodefyed

Sr.
Ha then for all Christen soules a man or a mouse
Ist winn all at this cast I durst lay my benifice

Or.
The preist nowe againes as busy as a body louse
Ile kepe my monney while I hate Ir pray he go to srvice.

Cla.
Dise hic dise hic
Is Sr John here at dise can any man tell
my gaffers be all come a prety while since
What Sr John did you not heare when I fidled the bell
their all come i good fayth I pray yow goe hense

Me.
My boy tell them he is now busy wt h his frende
he would come full fayne thou maist see if he might

Sr.
Pray the say so Jake holde the theirs somewhat to spend
and theile nedes hate theist haue a couple ye next Sunday night

Mi.
Thart but a foole prest to be so obedient
I would make my clarke serue this once & I was as the

Sr.
Yow say well sir as longe as tis not ye holy tyme of lent
an thou wilt say Jake or theist haue none for me

Me.
Tell him what he shoulde say then & lett him be packinge
the fellowe would doe it as well as thou I warrant him for a nede

Sr.
Fayth Jake its no matter an all thy lessons be lackinge
say a magnificat nunc dimittis an even end wt h the crede

Or.
What shall he leaue out ye saumes and his pater noster
what good will ye crede doe without thos and his avy

Ca.
Yf theile aske where Sr John is wear all here one a cluster
fyve knaves besides my master & my mistris god saue ye

Cla.
Ile patert as well as I can but if yow knewe who were there
Youde leavth dise with all your hart for one wanton looke

Sr.
Is susan swetlipps come mas Jack Ile goe sear
pray you Sr giue me leaue but even go to tourne him my booke

Oy.
Now St thays blesse ye woudst thou goe to the trull
Why man hers womans flesh and that be the worst

Sr.
I haue dist so longe now that my senses be even dull
Gad when I came hether I thinke I was courst

Me.
Gett yow hence Jacke and thy selfe doe the best
care not for thy money man and thou loust me tarry still

Ca.
By tetragranaton and the blacke santas I do the rest
Yf thou goest a foote farr thy braynes I will spill

Me.
Let vs excersise some new pastime now this is stale
the preist and I am wearye weile no more of this trashe

Mi.
Content my minikin chose what yow will at no game I will fayle
what say yow to dauncinge shall we daunce a litle crashe

Me.
Thers none better (my deare) come dare yow lead me a daunce
lead yow me first and I hope the vickar wilbe nexte

Sr.
By S. paterike damsell for your sake Ile out vaunce
Its good to fetch a friske once a day I fynde it in my texte.

Mi.
Trifle not the tyme then say what shall we haue
what countrye dauncis do you now here dayly frequent

Ca.
The vickar of S. fooles I am sure he would crave
to that daunce of all other I see he is bent

Sr.
Faythe no I had rather haue shakinge oth shetes or sund*******
or cachinge of quales or what faire meliss[a] *****

[Me.]
*** foole I see by him is geuen [holy to scorm] ***
[OMITTED]

[Or.]
Preste kepe your sincopasse and foot it oth best sorte
now closse qd curyer come aloft Jacke wt h a wim wam

Oy.
O liuely wt h hie childe and tourne the ah this is good sporte
How ist preist hers for thy larninge a chim cham

Sr.
Howe fare you Melissa what me thinkes yow waxe wearye
will yow not pause a while alas too sore yow doe trace

Me.
Ime well I thanke yow Sr John how doe yow are yow merye
Of all the preistes that ere I knewe he treads the best pase

Mi.
Ahe mine owne henbourde I must nedes lay the oth lipps
well vauntid byth mas preist thats worth a whope

Or.
Bith marye god howe lustelye the lubber nowe skipps
gods precious the skabb wt h my mistrisse doth tupe

Ca.
exit Cacurgus.

Intrant Philogonus, Eupelas, et Liturgus.

Scena quinta.

Phi.
O mercifull lorde god what a company is here mett
what a rablement of rascoles & rackhels haue we here
why soonne thes pernicious practisses wilt thou never forgett
alas Misogonus wilt thou never leaue this geare

Mi.
What doe yow fale in your fustinge fumes at the first
not the worste of vs but for our honestye wt h your selfe will compare

Eu.
Why Misogonus into such lewde languish dare you burst
what not your father a litle can you spare

Mi.
What are yow his spoksman meddle yow wt h your old showes
and he were my father ten tymes heist haue as good as a bringe

Phi.
Stay a while Eupelas I knowe our laboure we shall lose
but yet Ile tell the vnthrift of his detestable dealinge
Calsta this honest company or is this an honest sporte
to be revelinge and bousinge after such a lewde fashion
I thinke hell breake louse when thou gatst ye this porte
foure such thou coudst scase fynde in a whole nashion

Me.
Why father what dishonestye can yow lay to our charge
[Th]ers none of vs woude you should knowe nether theves no[r ho]***

[Phi.]
***[h]erst thou me strumpitt? I? speakst thou so large
*** [o]f my sight quene or Ile cart the by gods [bones]

Oy.
Take hede what yow say master she comes of a good parentage
misvse hir not I tell yow sheis of worshipfull bloude

Li.
What come yow in wt h your seven egges if I cache yow oth vauntage
houlde your pease when year well frende or else ye were as good

Sr.
What if this gentlewoman and your sonne I haue maried
may they not then come together wt hout any offence

Phi.
Ide rather thou wert hanged theife & he to his graue caried
thou to marye him (varlat) without my licens

Eu.
Hast thou maried him preist then vnknitt me this knott
darst thou kepe company with another mans wife
thou abhominable sodomit thou execrable sott
so god shall iudge me pild Jacke its pittye of thy life

Sr.
Why not Sr as longe as he him selfe is in place
whatsoever I doe proceds of pure loue
I doe but what I shoulde doe thats a cleare case
to loue all & hate none it doth prelatts behoue.

Eu.
Dost thou but what thou shouldst doe yu Idolatrous beste
shouldst thou be the ringleader in dauncinge this while
A good minister would be at church now attendinge one gods heaste
Of all wreches that ever I knewe thou art most vile

Mi.
Art thou so cocked againe what hast thou to doe to speake
the preist shall live beside the prate till thy belly ake

Phi.
Sausy boy dost thou thinke to put vs to wreke
Yf thou dost not amende this a drudge Ile the make

Mi.
Doe your best and your worst I care not a pinn for yow I
ile kepe both hir and the rest in mauger your bearde

Eu.
Now of truth ites marvaile the house fall not downe sodeinely
he speakes so outragiously he makes me afrayde

Phi.
Kepe them kepe hogges theife Ile cut the full short
thoust never enioy one jott of my lande

Mi.
With your great wordes I tell yow doe yow greatly me hurt
when your dead let me see who dare me withstande

Phi.
Ile gitt away for god sake rather to them that haue nede
when thou shalt then wistell and be glad go toth carte

Mi.
For god sake mary so might yow doe a good deede
git who you will gitt Ile hate spite of your harte.

Me.
Care not for him husband he speakes but in dotage
he may say what he will he can doe yow no harme

Phi.
O christ how the drevell doth awnswere me in mockadge
a couckstole (sowe) thoust be mad thy tounge for to charme

Mi.
Houlde your handes yow were best and lett hir alone
Wear able to make yow & your too men to faynt

[Or.]
Gods croust both we your selfe and trusty Sr John
we foure could anger him an he were a verye Saynt

[Eu.]
A man were as good met a she beare in ye wood[ds]
[Wit]h hir whelps at hir heles now roringe for h[u]****
****** [stor]ridd vp wt h such a [furious mode] **
[OMITTED]

Phi.
In thy youth thou never hadst such helhoundes at thy backe
thadst other manner of fellowes soonne in thy yonge days

Sr.
That was but bycause discretion he did lacke
its not best for youe sir any of vs to dispraise

Li.
Thers no mischeife as they say cōmonly but a preist at one end
it were thy parte to admonish him his father to obay

Sr.
When soever I mete yow sir looke your head that yow fend
a fart for yow all come Melissa ile away

Me.
I praye yow Philogonus no longer contende
Yow haue geuen them a threde which theil never vntwist

Mi.
Its but a folly in deed wench more wordes to spende
let him say what he will Ile do what I list
Come then lets be gone Ile never strive wt h him more
his lands are myne as sure as a clubb Naue let the world wagge

Oy.
Wele followe to Michole one afore one afore
Ile quaf perhapps first though here I be lagge

Phi.
Did yow ere here of man in more miserye then I
was there ever sily soule that was so contemnede
thers no way but one Eupelas I shall surely dye
my calamities will not sease till my life hath an ende

Eu.
I am as sorye for your case as if it were myne owne
Your anguise & vexation is to me a great smarte
but consider Philogonus to what end should yow grone
seing thers no remedy why should yow take it at your hart.

Phi.
And Eupelas consider if your sonne were like myne
could yow chose but lament and sith very sore

Eu.
I coulde not chose indeed Philogonus I must nedes whine
then he should be such a one I would wish him dead before

Phi.
All yow that loue your children take example by me
lett them haue good doctrine and discipline in youth
correct them be tyme least afterwarde they be
frowarde & contempteous & so bringe yow to great ruth

Li.
Good master yet I pray yow make not tow sorrowes of one
but beare it as patiently as possibly yow may

Eu.
The best is for yow to trust in Christ Jhesus alone
and by faith in his mercy your selfe for to stay

Phi.
Its verye trewe Eupelas in him is all my ioy
if it were not so certes I had done or this longe

Eu.
Be yow sure Philogonus it can not yow greatly anoy
his power in weaknes is ever most stronge.

Phi.
I am sorye that yow Eupelas so often I haue troubled
depart home now I praye yow & make merye wt h your wife

[Eu.]
If I coulde doe yow good I would wish my paynes doubled
but fare yow well my prayers for yow shalbe rife

**
*ett the home also Liturgus Ile will followe thee straigh[t]
** greife here to the Lord in a dolefull ditty [will I vow]

Li.
Swete Mr your selfe doe not over much frett.
at your cōmaundement I am readye I will goe my ways nowe.


The songe to the tune of Labondolose hoto

Exit Philogonus.