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ACTVS 4.
SCENA I.
Marc-Ant: Gostanzo.Marc-Ant.
You see how too much wisdome euermore,
Our-shootes the truth: you were so forwards still,
To taxe my ignorance, my greene experience
In these gray haires, for giuing such aduantage,
To my sonnes spirit, that he durst vndertake
A secret match, so farre short of his woorth:
Your sonne so seasoned with obedience,
Euen from his youth, that all his actions relish
Nothing but dutie, and your angers feare,
What shall I say to you, if it fall out
That this most precious sonne of yours, has plaide
A part as bad as this, and as rebellious:
Nay more has grosely guld your witt withall.
What if my sonne has vndergone the blame
That appertain'd to yours? and that this wench
With which my sonne is charg'd, may call you father:
Shall I then say you want experience?
Y'are greene, y'are credulous; easie to be blinded.
Gost.
Ha, ha, ha, good Marc-Antonio,
When't comes to that; laugh at me, call me foole, proclaime me so,
Let all the world take knowledge I am an Asse.
Marc.
O the good God of Gods,
How blinde is Pride? what Eagles we are still,
In matters that belong to other men?
What Beetles in our owne? I tell you Knight,
It is confest to be as I haue tould you;
And your white sonne, brought to me as his wife:
How thinke you now Sir?
Gost.
Euen iust as before,
And haue more cause to thinke honest Credulity,
Is a true Loadstone to draw on Decrepity:
You haue a hart to open to imbrace,
All that your eare receiues: alas good man,
All this is but a plot for entertainment
Within your house, for your poore sonnes yong wife
My house without huge danger cannot holde:
Mar.
Ist possible, what danger Sir I pray?
Gost.
Ile tell you Sir, twas time to take her thence:
My sonne that last day you saw could not frame,
His lookes to entertaine her, now bir-lady
Is grone a Courtier: for my selfe vnseene,
Saw when he courted her, imbrac't and kist her,
And I can tell you left not much vndone,
That was the proper office of your sonne.
Mar.
What world is this?
Gost.
I tolde this to Rinaldo,
Aduising him to fetch her from my house,
And his yong wit not knowing where to lodge her
Vnlesse with you: and saw that could not be,
Without some wyle: I presently suggested
This queint deuise, to say she was my sonnes:
And all this plot, good Marc-Antonio,
Flow'd from this fount, onely to blinde our eyes.
Mar.
Out of how sweete a dreame haue you awak't me?
By heauen, I durst haue laid my part in heauen
All had bin true; it was so liuely handled,
And drawne with such a seeming face of trueth:
Your sonne had cast a perfect vaile of griefe
Ouer his face, for his so rash offence,
To seale his loue with act of marriage,
Before his father had subscrib'd his choyce:
My sonne (my circumstance lessening the fact)
Intreating me to breake the matter to you,
With your sonnes penitent submission,
Appease your fury; I at first assented,
And now expect their comming to that purpose.
Gost.
T'was well t'was well, seeme to beleeue it still,
Let Art end what Credulitie began,
When they come, suite your words and lookes to theirs,
Second my sad Sonnes fain'd submission,
And see in all points how my braine will answere,
His disguisde griefe; with a set countenance
Of rage and choller; now obserue and learne
To schoole your sonne by me.
Intrant Rynaldo Val: Grat:
Mar.
On with your maske; here come the other maskers sir,
Rinal.
Come on I say,
Your Father with submission wilbe calm'd; come on, downe a your knees:
Gost.
Villaine durst thou
Presume to gull thy Father? doost thou not
Tremble to see my bent and cloudy browes
Ready to thunder on thy gracelesse head,
And with the bolt of my displeasure cut
The thred of all my liuing from thy life,
For taking thus a beggar to thy wife?
Val.
Father, if that part I haue in your blood,
If teares, which so aboundantly distill
Out of my inward eyes: and for a neede,
Can drowne these outward (lend me thy hand-kercher)
And being indeed as many drops of blood,
Issuing from the Creator of my hart,
Be able to beget so much compassion,
Not on my life, but on this louely Dame,
Whom I hold dearer?
Gost.
Out vpon thee villaine.
Marc.
Nay good Gostanzo, thinke you are a Father.
Gost.
I will not heare a word; out, out vpon thee:
Wed without my aduise, my loue, my knowledge,
I, and a begger too, a trull, a blowse?
Rinal.
You thought not so last day, when you offerd her
A twelue months boord for one nights lodging with her.
Goe too, no more of that, peace good Rinaldo,
It is a fault that onely she and you know.
Rein.
Well sir, go on I pray.
Gost.
Haue I fond wretch,
With vtmost care and labour brought thee vp,
Euer instructing thee, omitting neuer
The office of a kinde and carefull Father,
To make thee wise and vertuous like thy father:
And hast thou in one acte euerted all?
Proclaim'd thy selfe to all the world a foole?
To wedde a begger?
Val.
Father, say not so,
Nay shees thy owne, here, rise foole, take her to thee,
Liue with her still, I know thou countst thy selfe
Happy in soule, onely in winning her:
Be happy still, heere, take her hand enioy her,
Would not a sonne hazard his Fathers wrath,
His reputation in the world? his birth-right,
To haue but such a messe of broth as this?
Marc.
Be not so violent, I pray you good Gostanzo,
Take truce with passion, licence your sad sonne,
To speake in his excuse.
Gost.
What? what excuse?
Can any orator in this case excuse him?
What can he say? what can be said of any?
Val.
Ahlas sir, heare me, all that I can say
In my excuse, is but to shew loues warrant.
Gost.
Notable wagge.
Val.
I know I haue committed
A great impiety, not to mooue you first
Before the dame, I meant to make my wife
Consider what I am, yet young, and greene,
Beholde what she is, is there not in her
I, in her very eye, a power to conquer,
Euen age it selfe and wisdome, call to minde
Sweete Father, what your selfe being young haue bin,
Thinke what you may be, for I doe not thinke
The world so farre spent with you, but you may
To see you young againe, and to liue long
With young affections, wisdome makes a man
Liue young for euer: and where is this wisdome
If not in you? ahlas I know not what
Rests in your wisedome to subdue affections,
But I protest it wrought with me so strongly,
That I had quite bin drownd in seas of teares
Had I not taken hold in happy time
Of this sweete hand, my hart had beene consum'de
T'a heape of Ashes with the flames of loue,
Had it not sweetly bin asswag'd and cool'd,
With the moist kisses of these sugred lippes.
Gost.
O puisant wag, what huge large thongs he cuts
Out of his friend Fortunios stretching leather.
Marc.
He knows he does it but to blinde my eyes.
Gost.
O excellent, these men will put vp anything.
Ual.
Had I not had her, I had lost my life,
Which life indeed I would haue lost before,
I had displeasd you, had I not receau'd it
From such a kinde, a wise, and honour'd Father.
Gost.
Notable Boy.
Val.
Yet doe I here renounce
Loue, life and all, rather then one houre longer
Indure to haue your loue eclipsed from me.
Gra.
O I can hold no longer, if thy words
Be vs'd in earnest my Valerio,
Thou woundst my hart, but I know tist in iest.
Gost.
No ile be sworne she has her lyripoope too.
Grat.
Didst thou not sweare to loue me, spight of Father, & all the world
That nought should seuer vs but death it selfe.
Ual.
I did, but if my father
Will haue his sonne foresworne, vpon his soule,
The blood of my black periurie shall lye,
For I will seeke his fauour though I dye.
Gost.
No, no, liue still my sonne, thou well shalt know,
I haue a fathers hart, come ioyne your hands,
Still keepe thy vowes, and liue together still,
Val.
O speake you this in earnest?
Gost.
I by heauen.
Val.
And neuer to recall it?
Gost.
Not till death.
Rinal.
Excellent sir, you haue done like your selfe:
What would you more Valerio?
Ual.
Worshipfull Father.
Rinal.
Come sir, come you in, and celebrate your ioyes.
Exeunt all saue the old men.
Gost.
O Marc-Antonio,
Had I not armd you with an expectation,
Would not this make you pawne your very soule,
The wench had bin my sonnes wife?
Marc.
Yes by heauen:
A knauerie thus effected might deceiue
A wiser man then I, for I ah las,
Am noe good politician, plaine beleeuing
Simple honesty, is my policy still.
Gost.
The visible markes of folly, honesty, and quick Credulitie his yonger brother.
I tell you Marc-Antonio there is mutch
In that young boy my Sonne.
Marc.
Not much honesty, if I may speake without offence to his father.
Gost.
O God you cannot please me better sir,
H'as honesty enough to serue his turne,
The lesse honesty euer the more wit,
But goe you home, and vse your daughter kindly,
Meane time Ile schoole your sonne: and do you still
Dissemble what you know, keepe off your sonne,
The wench at home must still be my sonnes wife,
Remember that, and be you blinded still.
Marc.
You must remember too, to let your sonne
Vse his accustom'd visitations,
Onely to blinde my eyes.
Gost.
He shall not faile:
But still take you heede, haue a vigilant eye,
On that flie childe of mine, for by this light,
Heele be too bould with your sonnes forhead els.
Well sir let me alone, Ile beare a braine.
Exeunt.
Enter Ualerio, Rynaldo.
Val.
Come they are gone.
Ryn.
Gone, they were farre gone heere.
Val.
Guld I my father, or guld he himselfe?
Thou toldst him Gratiana was my wife,
I haue confest it, he has pardoned it.
Ryn.
Nothing more true, enow can witnesse it.
And therefore when he comes to learne the truth,
(As certainly for all these slie disguises,
Time will strip Truth into her nakednesse)
Thou hast good plea against him to confesse,
The honor'd Action, and to claime his pardon.
Val.
Tis true, for all was done he deeply swore
Out of his hart.
Ryn.
He has much faith the whiles,
That swore a thing, so quite against his hart:
Val.
Why this is pollicie.
Ryn.
Well see you repaire,
To Gratiana daily, and enioy her
In her true kinde; and now we must expect
The resolute, and ridiculous diuorce,
Cornelio hath sued against his wedlock.
Val.
I thinke it be not so; the Asse dotes on her.
Ryn.
It is too true, and thou shalt answere it,
For setting such debate twixt man and wife:
See, we shall see the solemne maner of it.
Enter Cor: Darioto. Claud. Notarie, Page, Gazetta. Bell: Gratiana.
Bell.
Good Signior Cornelio let vs poore Gentlewomen
intreate you to forbeare.
Cor.
Talke no more to me, Ile not be made Cuckold in my
owne house: Notarie read me the diuorce.
Gazet.
My deare Cornelio, examine the cause better before
you condemne me.
Cor.
Sing to me no more Syren, for I will heare thee no
more, I will take no compassion on thee.
Page.
Good Signior Cornelio be not too mankinde against
time) will you make a trumpet of your owne hornes?
Cor.
Goe too sir, y'are a rascall, ile giue you a see for pleading
for her one day, Notary doe you your office.
Val.
Goe too Signior looke better to your wife and be better
aduised, before you grow to this extremitie.
Cor.
Extremity? go too, I deale but too mercifully with her,
If I should vse extremitie with her I might hang her, and her
copesmate my drudge here, how say you M. Notary, might
I not doe it by law?
Not.
Not hang am, but you may bring them both to a
white sheete.
Cor.
Nay by the masse they haue had too much of the
sheete already.
Not.
And besides you may set capitall letters on their foreheads.
Cor.
What's that to the capitall letter thats written in
minde, I say for all your law, maister Notary that I may hang
am, may I not hang him that robs me of mine honour, as well
as he that robs me of my horse?
Not.
No sir your horse is a chattell.
Cor.
Soe is honour, a man may buy it with his peny, and
if I may hang a man for stealing my horse (as I say) much
more for robbing mee of my honour; for why? if my horse
be stolen, it may bee my owne fault; for why? eyther the
stable is not strong enough, or the pasture not well fenc't, or
watcht, or so foorth: But for your wife that keepes the stable
of your honour: Let her be lockt in a brazen towre, let Argus
himselfe keepe her, yet can you neuer bee secure of your
honour, for why? she can runne through all with her serpent
nodle: besides you may hang a locke vpon your horse, and so
can you not vpon your wife.
Rin.
But I pray you Sir what are the presumptions on
which you would build this diuorce?
Cornelio.
Presumption enough Sir, for besides their
entercourse, or commerce of glances that past betwixt
this cockrill-drone, and her, at my table the last Sunday
night at supper, their winckes, their beckes, due gard,
my toe instead of his) This is chiefly to be noted, the same
night she would needs lie alone; and the same night her dog
barkr, did not you heare him Ualerio?
Ual.
And vnderstand him too, Ile be sworne of a booke.
Cornelio.
Why very good, if these be not manifest presumptions
now, let the world be iudge: Therefore without
more ceremony, Maister Notarie plucke out your Instrument.
Notary.
I will sir, if there be no remedie.
Corn.
Haue you made it strong in law Maister Notary? haue
you put in words enough?
Notary.
I hope so sir, it has taken me a whole skinne of
Parchment you see.
Cornelio.
Very good, and is Egresse and Regresse in?
Nota.
Ile warrant you sir, it is forma Iuris.
Corn.
Is there no hoale to be found in the Ortography?
Nota.
None in the world sir.
Corn.
You haue written Sunt with an S haue you not?
Nota.
Yes that I haue.
Corn.
You haue done the better for quietnesse sake: and
are none of the Autenticall dashes ouer the head left out? if
there be Maister Notary an error will lye out.
Nota.
Not for a dashe ouer head sir I warrant you, if I
should ouersee; I haue seene that tryed in Butiro & Caseo,
in Butler and Casons case, Decimo sexto of Duke Anonimo.
Rinal.
Y'aue gotten a learned Notarie Signior Cornelio.
Corn.
Hees a shroad fellow indeed, I had as leeue haue his
head in a matter of fellony, or Treason, as any Notary in Florence,
read out Maister Notary, harken you mistresse, Gentlemen
marke I beseech you.
Omnes.
We will all marke you sir, I warrant you.
Nota.
I thinke it would be something tedious to read all,
and therefore Gentlemen the summe is this: That you Signior
Cornelio Gentleman, for diuers & sundry waighty and mature
considerations you especially mouing, specifying all the particulars
of your wiues enormities in a scedule here unto annexed,
& keeping: That for these the aforesaid premises, I say,
you renounce, disclaime and discharge Gazetta frō being your
leeful, or your lawfull wife: And that you eftsoones deuide, disioyne,
separate, remoue, & finally eloigne, sequester, & diuorce
her, frō your bed & your boord; That you forbid her all accesse,
repaire, egresse of regresse to your person, or persons, mansion
or mansions, dwellings, habitations, remainenances or abodes,
or to any shop, sellar, Sollar, easements chamber, dormer, and
so forth, now in the tenur, custody, occupation or keeping of
the said Cornelio; notwithstanding all former contracts, couenants,
bargaines, conditions, agreements, compacts.
Promises, vowes, affiances, assurances, bonds, billes, indentures,
pole-deedes, deeds of guift, defesances, feoffments, endowments,
vowchers, double vowchers, priuie entries, actions,
declarations, explications, reioinders, surreioinders, rights, interests,
demands, claymes, or titles whatsoeuer, heretofore betwixt
the one and the other party, or parties, being had, made,
past, couenanted & agreed, from the beginning of the world,
till the day of the date hereof, giuen the 17. of Nouember
1500, and so forth, here Sir you must set to your hand.
Cor.
What els maister Notary, I am resolute ifaith.
Gaz.
Sweete husband forbeare.
Cor.
Auoyde, I charge thee in name of this diuorce:
Thou mightst haue lookt to it in time, yet this I will doe for
thee; if thou canst spie out any other man that thou wouldest
cuckolde, thou shalt haue my letter to him: I can do no more:
more Inke maister Notary, I wright my name at large.
Not.
Here is more Sir.
Cor.
Ah asse that thou could not know thy happinesse till
thou hadst lost it, how now? my nose bleed? shall I write in
blood? what onely three drops? Sfoote this Omninous: I will
not set my hand toot now certaine, maister Notary I like not
this abodement: I will deferre the setting too of my hand till
the next court day: keepe the diuorce I pray you, and the woman
in your house together.
Om.
Burne the diuorce, burne the diuorce.
Cor.
Not so Sir, it shall not serue her turne M. Notary, keep
what haue you to doe to flocke about me thus? I am neither
Howlet, nor Cuckooe: gentlewomen for gods sake medle with
your owne cases, it is not fit you should haunt these publike assembles.
Om.
well, farewell Cornelio.
Val.
Vse the gentlewoman kindely maister Notary,
As mine owne wife, I assure you Sir.
Exeunt.
Clau.
Signior Cornelio I cānot but in kindenes tell you that
Balerio by counsaile of Rinaldo hath whispered all this iealosie
into your eares, not that he knew any iust cause in your wife,
but only to be reuengd on you, for the gull, you put vpon him,
when you drew him with his glory to touch the Theorbo.
Cor.
May I beleeue this?
Clau.
As I am a gentleman: and if this accident of your
nose had not falne out, I would haue told you this before you
set too your hand.
Cor.
It may well be, yet haue I cause enough
To perfect my diuorce, but it shall rest,
Till I conclude it with a Counterbuffe,
giuen to these noble rascals: Claudio thankes:
What comes of this, watch but my braine a little,
And yee shall see, if like two partes in me,
I leaue not both these gullers wits Imbrierd,
Now I perceiue well where the wilde winde sits,
Heres Gull for Gull and wits at warre with wits.
(Exeunt.
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