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It is reported that L*d S*dm*th has had some qualms of conscience, as he does not altogether relish the idea of sitting down at the board with Scotch Hal; for he swears that cutaneous disorders are catching, and smell very much of the felon's side of Newgate. Our able linguist C*nn*ng, on the other hand, will not be harassed with L*d S*dm*th: so, that, what with I will and I won't, and I won't and I will, we stand a fair chance of having every thing but unanimity and talents: however, there is an old adage, and heaven send it may be verified.—“ When knaves fall out, honest men get their own.”

—A trifling change in the lines of Shakspeare's crook-back'd Richard, whose character bears a strong analogy to that of several of the Blocks, are not inapplicable to the present ministerial phalanx.

—This rapacious peer, better known by the simple appellation of J*nky, has for years past made it his study to snatch at every opportunity of rising in the world.

Petronius.

No flattery has been too fulsome, no step, however derogatory, too menial, when the price was an augmentation of wealth, and a rise in court favour. As to the back-stairs, it is a story that has, and will stand on record so long as his lordship shall live; but back-stairs are nothing with J*nky, who would with equal alacrity kiss back*d*s, if another place or pension could be procured by so honourable an employment.

—This haughty and supercilious nobleman, respecting whose senseless rant I may well say, that it is

originally ranged with the oppositionists, though secretly a partizan of the court faction; and when at length he was candid enough to blazon forth his shameful hypocrisy, it was at a period, when of all others, he ought to have continued silent; for, deaf to every sentiment of patriotism, he voted against the freedom of his native land, by supporting the union with Ireland in the most vigorous manner: nay, and so strenuous was he upon that occasion, as even to excite the astonishment and contempt of the very party with whom he had ranged himself. Little more need be said as to his character; for the man who could in the face of his country labour to effect its complete vassalage, is

Virgil.

—During the contested election for Down, on which occasion this redoubted Block was very deservedly ousted by Col. M*de, the following sketch appeared in a Dublin paper, which was most accurately drawn, and is allowed to be just as natural as the life.

“History has already recorded the premature growth of vice; the unparalleled effrontery and unexampled depravity which sprung up in the mind, and influenced the conduct of this most abandoned young man. With a very superficial knowledge either of men or things, by the help of a tolerably extensive vocabulary, and with a most shameful disregard of character or consistency; at an age when virtuous principles and patriotic sentiments take shelter in the human breast, and are hard to be dislodged from it, he obtruded himself on the notice of mankind by the coldness of his deportment, and the concealed corruptness of his heart. By the penetrating eye of a foreign minister, he was observed to possess no honourable feeling for his country, and therefore was he chosen as the only person qualified or capable to bring about and accomplish its subjugation and depredation, to rob it of its honest independence, and in fact to blot out its name from the history of nations.”

From the above sketch, no one can possibly blame the independent Marchioness of Downshire, who, notwithstanding the many strings his lordship has to his bow, was determined, in spite of court cabal and ministerial interest, not to suffer vile pollution; and therefore very dauntedly kicked the peer from the bed of down, into which he had put one leg, and also conceived himself entitled to clap the other.

—The ducking which his lordship experienced, I beg leave to remark, was not inflicted for the discovery of witchcraft in the peer, as every one knows from experience that he is no conjuror; except, indeed, when he is to increase his store by any court manœuvre, and then no gentleman can possibly show more adeptness, that himself, at —Hic presto, begone.

—This pretty flower, which now alternately sits down as vice-president of the board of trade and joint pay-master, was a few years back soused into the Thames, from whence he was rescued as above stated. The emoluments from government reaped from the various appointments this Block has received, would nearly liquidate the national debt. He is prime agent in all electioneering matters and intrigues, was many years secretary to the treasury, and brought into court by a publican for not paying his bill, after having employed him to keep open house for Lord Hood. It must be confessed, the Rose has industry and experience, having padded the hoof through all the degrading and menial stages of political servitude; but as for intellectual capacity, refined taste, expansion of genius, or any one thing connected with real talent, he may boast just as much as his idol Silly Billy, who now sits lord paramount As for the bed of roses, which was so much talked of as the couch whereto the late administration succeeded, it was merely so demominated in consequence of its having been for a long period, the “soft, lazy cushion, on which,” our Georgy R*se, and family, had basked and fattened in the full plenitude of a golden sun, which shone upon their unworthiness, at the expence of the public treasury.

—This noble guardian of the privy seal is, perhaps, one of the vainest coxcombs in existence; and the predeliction which the fair sex have for him is very extraordinary, considering his real insignificance as a man. With respect to the Gretna Green trip with the b*nk*r's daughter, it affords not only a striking instance of his gallantry, but a sterling proof that he was not deficient in his election on the score of interest.

Shakspeare.

—It is said of this earl, that when viceroy of Ireland, he could accommodate his manners to all occasions at pleasure, and that, without change of dress, he would repair from his chamber of office to the gay ball-room: but this is not to be wondered at, for being a man for the ladies, “his business was pleasure, and his pleasure business;” being so absolutely a slave to it as never to recollect that he had many things to do besides intriguing and dancing.

Tacitus. The consistency with which this peer has uniformly conducted himself cannot fail to call forth the just tribute of praise from every honest breast; and I am only sorry that his lordship's deserts should be recompensed by a junior situation at the board of controul, instead of filling the most conspicuous post in that department of the state.

This worthy limb of our present administration was one of those supporters of Mr. Pitt who withdrew with that premier, after receiving a snug pension of 1200l. per annum; but upon the recal of that gentleman, the subject of the present note, figured again into office; subsequent to which he was once more accommodated with the station of sub-secretary of the treasury. However, on the accession of All the Talents, he was of course compelled to retire, being himself possessed of none; but now, with the Blocks, he acts a very forward part, for “Birds of a feather will flock together.”

As I have so recently spoken of All the Talents, I beg leave to add, in addition to the reasons alledged in my Dedication, which went to prove that they were truly deserving the title; that it was not only in contemplation, but absolutely resolved, that a total abolition of tythes should immediately take place.

In the war department we have another very interesting Block of the above description, one Sir James P*lt*n*y, its secretary, who, on account of his having failed most egregiously in the expedition to Ferrol, is deemed, of all military men, the most appropriate to give good advice, and conduct enterprises of a similar nature, and which there is no doubt will have an equally glorious termination,

This gentleman, like many of the Blocks, shared the loaves and fishes during the administration of Pitt; and on retiring with that minister from office as one of the secretaries for the foreign department, he did not forget to ensure a pension of 1000l. per annum, as a monument of the worthy services which he had rendered the state. With the Blocks be has once more determined to taste the sweets of a place; and, therefore, being originally bred to the bar, is very appropriately made an admiralty lord, to advise with his martial compeer, the mighty M*lgr*ve; whose charger having ran restive, has carried his rider full tilt from the Horse Guards to the Admiralty, where it is much feared that he will break his neck.

The precious peer who now sits as president of the board of trade, is as well acquainted with the mercantile interests of Great Britain as Lord M*lgr*ve is with naval tactics, or Mr. P*rc*v*l with matters relating to finance; in fine, all the Blocks are raised to situations for which they are neither qualified by their previous habits in life, or the acquirements of study, so that when they err, they certainly do not know it.

Upon the same principle, Mr. C*nn*ng, as before stated, is our secretary for foreign affairs solely because he cannot speak French, in which tongue all foreign ministers hold their conferences.

It must be allowed, that there is no rule without an exception, as may be instanced in the nobleman who is now nominated to the post of master of the horse; the sole duties of which station consist in riding about in the king's coach, drawn by the king's horses, to see that the palfries' tails and manes are properly comb'd, their stables cleaned, and the mews swept, &c. This very duke, when in office on a former occasion, occupied the place of president of the board of trade, when he committed so many unpardonable faults, and issued so many contradictory orders, that what the merchants understood to be the intention of government to-day, were generally reversed on the morrow; upon which account he, on the accession of his friends the Blocks, rather preferred relinquishing that office, which requires some talent, in lieu of which he accepted the present, requiring no talent at all.

The Earl of Ch*th*m, our master general of the ordnance, may be well termed a cypher and loiterer in business, and is very appropriately crammed in the above line of poetry with his two sapient associates. One thing I must say in praise of his lordship, which is, that he has never, like many of his brother Blocks, been so great an ass as to make a speech in the upper house.

—The requisites of our present lord lieutenant of Ireland are very great, and perfectly consistent with the ideas of our junto of Blocks; for instance, his grace drinks like a fish; an excellent specific for the procurement of a cool head in matters of state.

Horace

He plays at cricket à merveille—a school-boy's accomplishment, well suited to keep the political ball in motion, when adroitly struck, as at the present period, with Bats or Blocks. And as to fighting, why he will pistol it with a prince, or a stone wall, with as much coolness as I can eat an apple; and who are such redoubted gentlemen at a shot as your Hibernian blunderers?

Boileau.

As to the catholic question, or the claims of a people, it must be understood, that this Block is merely sent over to govern, being as ignorant of those matters as a mill-post; nay, and where he ever versed in those points, it would be to no effect, as his mouth is padlocked and his hands fettered. In short, he can promise nothing, think of nothing, and do nothing, for the poor inhabitants of that unfortunate country.

Ovid.

This limb of the law, of Devonshire extraction, was educated at Eaton, and after the necessary course of study, was called to the bar, in which profession he distinguished himself as counsel with Mr. (now Lord) Erskine in pleading for Messrs. Hardy, &c. at the Old Bailey, in 1796; from which period to the present epoch it is sufficient to add, that he has been a uniform babe of his profession, and now chuckles (attorney-general of the Blocks) embosom'd in his capacious wig.

—This pompous peer, while studying at Eaton, is reported to have acquired the gift of the gab, by rendering himself conspicuous with the rest of his associates, as the speaker in a mock parliament, which was held among the students for the purposes of debating; and it would certainly be unjustifiable in me not to allow, that every oratorical specimen which he has given at a more advanced period of life, bears so strong an affinity to the rant of a child, that, it would more than appear probable, he is not yet free from the trammels of Dr. Birch, were it not beyond a doubt that he took upon himself the task of whipper-in general, while vested with the supreme governorship of India.

—In order to give a just detail, I shall commence with a description of the person of the marquis, which is of a pigmy size, and much like the ape as to his physiognomy. He piques himself (and that with truth) on its resemblance to the countenance of Bonaparte, whose mind bears an equal affinity to that of our marquis. But that the public may form a better judgment on this head, it should be stated that our peer formed a Legion of Honour at Calcutta, after the model of Napoleon's, which was named Honorary Aids de Camp. To all letters of the most trivial import, the following words appeared by way of prelude : His Excellency the most noble the Governor General, &c. But this was not all; for, to support the mockery of majesty, he regularly held his levees, at which he received foreign ambassadors, seated on a throne which was shaded by a sumptuous canopy; and it was his lordship who first thought of sending ambassadors to other states at a most enormous expence. If invited to an entertainment, our noble peer would not attend, unless a throne and canopy were erected to receive him; and upon entering the saloon, two black troopers always preceded him with drawn swords, in order to clear the way for his sublime nothingness. As to his pomp, he was not satisfied with the countless minions that surrounded him; but even proceeded so far, as to be desirous of making a lacquey of his Aid de Camp C*t*n Gr*v*ll, son of the E---l of W---, whom he would fain have reduced to the station of step-holder of his carriage when he entered the same; and it is no less true, that he quarrelled with the present Ch*f J*st*ce of Calcutta, because that law dignitary would not light him to the door.

Macbeth.

—The marquis caused a mint of money to be expended on his palace and other buildings at Calcutta, and in the vicinity; and it should not be forgotten, that the scite on which the grand edifice now stands, was formerly covered with numberless cottages, belonging to the poor and industrious Indians, who were all smoked away like rats, to make room for the enormous residence of his little majesty. This lord made frequent excursions up the river to visit a chateau de campagne; on which occasions, the stream was literally covered with innumerable budgarows, or barges, containing his endless suite. It should also be remembered, that these jauntings were effected at the cost of many, many thousands sterling; but that consideration was no preventive to his lordship, who conceived, to use the words of Persius, that—

—The body guards (for the marquis, like Napoleon, must take care of his insignificant carcase) consisted of several hundred men; and, with respect to their horses, they were all conveyed, at a most enormous charge, from Madras, while their trappings, which were wrought at the same place, were expensive and sumptuous beyond all description; the charge for which was of course equal in proportion.

—Aye, and will have one too when the electioneering contests shall be terminated, and that the Blocks know their strength; for the public may be assured of seeing the marquis either First Lord of the Treasury, or Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs; that is to say, as shall be agreed between this peer, my Lord M*lv*lle, and the amiable Master C*nn*ng.

—If the reader be unacquainted with this fact, it will be necessary to inform him, that the Honourable H*nry W*ll*sl*y fills the office of Secretary to the Treasuary; the Honourable W*ll*sl*y P*le is Secretary to the Board of Ordnance; and Sir Arth*ur W*ll*sl*y occupies the post of Secretary to the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland.

Horace.