 | The poetical works of John Trumbull . |  |
35
2. PART II.
OR THE LIFE AND CHARACTER OF
DICK HAIRBRAIN.
'Twas in a town remote, the place
We leave the reader wise to guess,
(For readers wise can guess full well
What authors never meant to tell,)
There dwelt secure a country clown,
The wealthiest farmer of the town.
Though rich by villany and cheats,
He bought respect by frequent treats;
Gain'd offices by constant seeking,
'Squire, captain, deputy and deacon;
Great was his power, his pride as arrant;
One only son his heir apparent.
He thought the stripling's parts were quick,
And vow'd to make a man of Dick;
Bless'd the pert dunce, and praised his looks,
And put him early to his books.
We leave the reader wise to guess,
(For readers wise can guess full well
What authors never meant to tell,)
There dwelt secure a country clown,
The wealthiest farmer of the town.
Though rich by villany and cheats,
He bought respect by frequent treats;
Gain'd offices by constant seeking,
'Squire, captain, deputy and deacon;
Great was his power, his pride as arrant;
One only son his heir apparent.
36
And vow'd to make a man of Dick;
Bless'd the pert dunce, and praised his looks,
And put him early to his books.
More oaths than words Dick learn'd to speak
And studied knavery more than Greek;
Three years at school, as usual, spent,
Then all equipp'd to college went,
And pleased in prospect, thus bestow'd
His meditations, as he rode.
And studied knavery more than Greek;
Three years at school, as usual, spent,
Then all equipp'd to college went,
And pleased in prospect, thus bestow'd
His meditations, as he rode.
“All hail, unvex'd with care and strife,
The bliss of academic life;
Where kind repose protracts the span,
While childhood ripens into man;
Where no hard parent's dreaded rage
Curbs the gay sports of youthful age:
Where no vile fear the genius awes
With grim severity of laws;
Where annual troops of bucks come down,
The flower of every neighb'ring town;
Where wealth and pride and riot wait,
And each choice spirit finds his mate.
The bliss of academic life;
Where kind repose protracts the span,
While childhood ripens into man;
Where no hard parent's dreaded rage
Curbs the gay sports of youthful age:
Where no vile fear the genius awes
With grim severity of laws;
Where annual troops of bucks come down,
The flower of every neighb'ring town;
Where wealth and pride and riot wait,
And each choice spirit finds his mate.
“Far from those walls, from pleasure's eye,
Let care and grief and labour fly,
The toil to gain the laurel prize,
That dims the anxious student's eyes,
The pedant air of learned looks,
And long fatigue of turning books.
Let poor dull rogues, with weary pains,
To college come to mend their brains,
And drudge four years, with grave concern
How they may wiser grow, and learn.
Is wealth of indolence afraid,
Or does wit need pedantic aid?
The man of wealth the world descries,
Without the help of learning wise;
The magic powers of gold, with ease,
Transform us to what shape we please,
Give knowledge bright and courage brave,
And sense, that nature never gave.
But nought avails the hoarded treasure;
In spending only lies the pleasure.
Let care and grief and labour fly,
37
That dims the anxious student's eyes,
The pedant air of learned looks,
And long fatigue of turning books.
Let poor dull rogues, with weary pains,
To college come to mend their brains,
And drudge four years, with grave concern
How they may wiser grow, and learn.
Is wealth of indolence afraid,
Or does wit need pedantic aid?
The man of wealth the world descries,
Without the help of learning wise;
The magic powers of gold, with ease,
Transform us to what shape we please,
Give knowledge bright and courage brave,
And sense, that nature never gave.
But nought avails the hoarded treasure;
In spending only lies the pleasure.
“There vice shall lavish all her charms,
And rapture fold us in her arms,
Riot shall court the frolic soul,
And swearing crown the sparkling bowl;
While wit shall sport with vast applause,
And scorn the feeble tie of laws:
Our midnight joys no rule shall bound,
While games and dalliance revel round.
Such pleasures youthful years can know,
And schools there are, that such bestow.
And rapture fold us in her arms,
Riot shall court the frolic soul,
And swearing crown the sparkling bowl;
While wit shall sport with vast applause,
And scorn the feeble tie of laws:
38
While games and dalliance revel round.
Such pleasures youthful years can know,
And schools there are, that such bestow.
“Those seats how blest, for ease and sport,
Where wealth and idleness resort,
Where free from censure and from shame,
They seek of learning, but the name,
Their crimes of all degrees and sizes
Atoned by golden sacrifices;
Where kind instructors fix their price,
In just degrees, on every vice,
And fierce in zeal 'gainst wicked courses,
Demand repentance, of their purses;
Till sin, thus tax'd, produces clear
A copious income every year,
And the fair schools, thus free from scruples,
Thrive by the knavery of their pupils.
Where wealth and idleness resort,
Where free from censure and from shame,
They seek of learning, but the name,
Their crimes of all degrees and sizes
Atoned by golden sacrifices;
Where kind instructors fix their price,
In just degrees, on every vice,
And fierce in zeal 'gainst wicked courses,
Demand repentance, of their purses;
Till sin, thus tax'd, produces clear
A copious income every year,
And the fair schools, thus free from scruples,
Thrive by the knavery of their pupils.
39
“Ev'n thus the Pope long since has made
Of human crimes a gainful trade;
Keeps ev'ry pleasing vice for sale,
For cash, by wholesale, or retail.
There, pay the prices and the fees,
Buy rapes, or lies, or what you please,
Then sin secure, with firm reliance,
And bid the ten commands defiance.
Of human crimes a gainful trade;
Keeps ev'ry pleasing vice for sale,
For cash, by wholesale, or retail.
There, pay the prices and the fees,
Buy rapes, or lies, or what you please,
Then sin secure, with firm reliance,
And bid the ten commands defiance.
“And yet, alas, these happiest schools
Preserve a set of musty rules,
And in their wisest progress show
Perfection is not found below.
Even there, indulged, in humble station,
Learning resides by toleration;
No law forbids the youth to read;
For sense no tortures are decreed;
There study injures but the name,
And meets no punishment but shame.”
Preserve a set of musty rules,
And in their wisest progress show
Perfection is not found below.
Even there, indulged, in humble station,
Learning resides by toleration;
No law forbids the youth to read;
For sense no tortures are decreed;
There study injures but the name,
And meets no punishment but shame.”
Thus reas'ning, Dick goes forth to find
A college suited to his mind;
But bred in distant woods, the clown
Brings all his country airs to town;
The odd address with awkward grace,
That bows with all-averted face;
The half-heard compliments, whose note
Is swallow'd in the trembling throat;
The stiffen'd gait, the drawling tone,
By which his native place is known;
The blush, that looks, by vast degrees,
Too much like modesty to please;
The proud displays of awkward dress,
That all the country fop express,
The suit right gay, though much belated,
Whose fashion's superannuated;
The watch, depending far in state,
Whose iron chain might form a grate;
The silver buckle, dread to view,
O'ershad'wing all the clumsy shoe;
The white-gloved hand, that tries to peep
From ruffle, full five inches deep;
With fifty odd affairs beside,
The foppishness of country pride.
A college suited to his mind;
But bred in distant woods, the clown
Brings all his country airs to town;
The odd address with awkward grace,
That bows with all-averted face;
40
Is swallow'd in the trembling throat;
The stiffen'd gait, the drawling tone,
By which his native place is known;
The blush, that looks, by vast degrees,
Too much like modesty to please;
The proud displays of awkward dress,
That all the country fop express,
The suit right gay, though much belated,
Whose fashion's superannuated;
The watch, depending far in state,
Whose iron chain might form a grate;
The silver buckle, dread to view,
O'ershad'wing all the clumsy shoe;
The white-gloved hand, that tries to peep
From ruffle, full five inches deep;
With fifty odd affairs beside,
The foppishness of country pride.
Poor Dick! though first thy airs provoke
Th' obstreperous laugh and scornful joke,
Doom'd all the ridicule to stand,
While each gay dunce shall lend a hand;
Yet let not scorn dismay thy hope
To shine a witling and a fop.
Blest impudence the prize shall gain,
And bid thee sigh no more in vain.
Thy varied dress shall quickly show
At once the spendthrift and the beau.
With pert address and noisy tongue,
That scorns the fear of prating wrong,
'Mongst list'ning coxcombs shalt thou shine,
And every voice shall echo thine.
Th' obstreperous laugh and scornful joke,
Doom'd all the ridicule to stand,
While each gay dunce shall lend a hand;
Yet let not scorn dismay thy hope
To shine a witling and a fop.
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And bid thee sigh no more in vain.
Thy varied dress shall quickly show
At once the spendthrift and the beau.
With pert address and noisy tongue,
That scorns the fear of prating wrong,
'Mongst list'ning coxcombs shalt thou shine,
And every voice shall echo thine.
How blest the brainless fop, whose praise
Is doom'd to grace these happy days,
When well-bred vice can genius teach,
And fame is placed in folly's reach,
Impertinence all tastes can hit,
And every rascal is a wit.
The lowest dunce, without despairing,
May learn the true sublime of swearing;
Learn the nice art of jests obscene,
While ladies wonder what they mean;
The heroism of brazen lungs,
The rhetoric of eternal tongues;
While whim usurps the name of spirit,
And impudence takes place of merit,
And every money'd clown and dunce
Commences gentleman at once.
Is doom'd to grace these happy days,
When well-bred vice can genius teach,
And fame is placed in folly's reach,
Impertinence all tastes can hit,
And every rascal is a wit.
The lowest dunce, without despairing,
May learn the true sublime of swearing;
Learn the nice art of jests obscene,
While ladies wonder what they mean;
The heroism of brazen lungs,
The rhetoric of eternal tongues;
While whim usurps the name of spirit,
And impudence takes place of merit,
And every money'd clown and dunce
Commences gentleman at once.
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For now, by easy rules of trade,
Mechanic gentlemen are made!
From handicrafts of fashion born;
Those very arts so much their scorn.
To taylors half themselves they owe,
Who make the clothes, that make the beau.
Mechanic gentlemen are made!
From handicrafts of fashion born;
Those very arts so much their scorn.
To taylors half themselves they owe,
Who make the clothes, that make the beau.
Lo! from the seats, where, fops to bless,
Learn'd artists fix the forms of dress,
And sit in consultation grave,
On folded skirt, or strait'ned sleeve,
The coxcomb trips with sprightly haste,
In all the flush of modern taste;
Oft turning, if the day be fair,
To view his shadow's graceful air;
Well pleased with eager eye runs o'er
The laced suit glitt'ring gay before;
The ruffle, where from open'd vest
The rubied brooch adorns the breast;
The coat with length'ning waist behind,
Whose short skirts dangle in the wind;
The modish hat, whose breadth contains
The measure of its owner's brains;
The stockings gay with various hues;
The little toe-encircling shoes;
The cane, on whose carv'd top is shown
An head, just emblem of his own;
While wrapp'd in self, with lofty stride,
His little heart elate with pride,
He struts in all the joys of show,
That taylors give, or beaux can know.
Learn'd artists fix the forms of dress,
And sit in consultation grave,
On folded skirt, or strait'ned sleeve,
The coxcomb trips with sprightly haste,
In all the flush of modern taste;
Oft turning, if the day be fair,
To view his shadow's graceful air;
Well pleased with eager eye runs o'er
The laced suit glitt'ring gay before;
The ruffle, where from open'd vest
The rubied brooch adorns the breast;
The coat with length'ning waist behind,
Whose short skirts dangle in the wind;
The modish hat, whose breadth contains
The measure of its owner's brains;
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The little toe-encircling shoes;
The cane, on whose carv'd top is shown
An head, just emblem of his own;
While wrapp'd in self, with lofty stride,
His little heart elate with pride,
He struts in all the joys of show,
That taylors give, or beaux can know.
And who for beauty need repine,
That's sold at every barber's sign;
Nor lies in features or complexion,
But curls disposed in meet direction,
With strong pomatum's grateful odour,
And quantum sufficit of powder?
These charms can shed a sprightly grace,
O'er the dull eye and clumsy face;
While the trim dancing-master's art
Shall gestures, trips and bows impart,
Give the gay piece its final touches,
And lend those airs, would lure a dutchess.
That's sold at every barber's sign;
Nor lies in features or complexion,
But curls disposed in meet direction,
With strong pomatum's grateful odour,
And quantum sufficit of powder?
These charms can shed a sprightly grace,
O'er the dull eye and clumsy face;
While the trim dancing-master's art
Shall gestures, trips and bows impart,
Give the gay piece its final touches,
And lend those airs, would lure a dutchess.
Thus shines the form, nor aught behind,
The gifts that deck the coxcomb's mind;
Then hear the daring muse disclose
The sense and piety of beaux.
The gifts that deck the coxcomb's mind;
Then hear the daring muse disclose
The sense and piety of beaux.
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To grace his speech, let France bestow
A set of compliments for show.
Land of politeness! that affords
The treasure of new-fangled words,
And endless quantities disburses
Of bows and compliments and curses;
The soft address, with airs so sweet,
That cringes at the ladies' feet;
The pert, vivacious, play-house style,
That wakes the gay assembly's smile;
Jests that his brother beaux may hit,
And pass with young coquettes for wit,
And prized by fops of true discerning,
Outface the pedantry of learning.
Yet learning too shall lend its aid,
To fill the coxcomb's spongy head,
And studious oft he shall peruse
The labours of the modern muse.
From endless loads of novels gain
Soft, simp'ring tales of amorous pain,
With double meanings, neat and handy,
From Rochester and Tristram Shandy.
The blund'ring aid of weak reviews,
That forge the fetters of the muse,
Shall give him airs of criticising
On faults of books, he ne'er set eyes on.
The magazines shall teach the fashion,
And common-place of conversation,
And where his knowledge fails, afford
The aid of many a sounding word.
A set of compliments for show.
Land of politeness! that affords
The treasure of new-fangled words,
And endless quantities disburses
Of bows and compliments and curses;
The soft address, with airs so sweet,
That cringes at the ladies' feet;
The pert, vivacious, play-house style,
That wakes the gay assembly's smile;
Jests that his brother beaux may hit,
And pass with young coquettes for wit,
And prized by fops of true discerning,
Outface the pedantry of learning.
Yet learning too shall lend its aid,
To fill the coxcomb's spongy head,
And studious oft he shall peruse
The labours of the modern muse.
From endless loads of novels gain
Soft, simp'ring tales of amorous pain,
With double meanings, neat and handy,
From Rochester and Tristram Shandy.
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That forge the fetters of the muse,
Shall give him airs of criticising
On faults of books, he ne'er set eyes on.
The magazines shall teach the fashion,
And common-place of conversation,
And where his knowledge fails, afford
The aid of many a sounding word.
Then least religion he should need,
Of pious Hume he'll learn his creed,
By strongest demonstration shown,
Evince that nothing can be known;
Take arguments, unvex'd by doubt,
On Voltaire's trust, or go without;
'Gainst scripture rail in modern lore,
As thousand fools have rail'd before;
Or pleased a nicer art display
T' expound its doctrines all away,
Suit it to modern tastes and fashions
By various notes and emendations;
The rules the ten commands contain,
With new provisos well explain;
Prove all religion was but fashion,
Beneath the Jewish dispensation.
A ceremonial law, deep hooded
In types and figures long exploded;
Its stubborn fetters all unfit
For these free times of gospel light,
This rake's millenium, since the day
When sabbaths first were done away;
Since pandar-conscience holds the door,
And lewdness is a vice no more;
And shame, the worst of deadly fiends,
On virtue, as its squire attends.
Of pious Hume he'll learn his creed,
By strongest demonstration shown,
Evince that nothing can be known;
Take arguments, unvex'd by doubt,
On Voltaire's trust, or go without;
'Gainst scripture rail in modern lore,
As thousand fools have rail'd before;
Or pleased a nicer art display
T' expound its doctrines all away,
Suit it to modern tastes and fashions
By various notes and emendations;
The rules the ten commands contain,
With new provisos well explain;
Prove all religion was but fashion,
Beneath the Jewish dispensation.
46
In types and figures long exploded;
Its stubborn fetters all unfit
For these free times of gospel light,
This rake's millenium, since the day
When sabbaths first were done away;
Since pandar-conscience holds the door,
And lewdness is a vice no more;
And shame, the worst of deadly fiends,
On virtue, as its squire attends.
Alike his poignant wit displays
The darkness of the former days,
When men the paths of duty sought,
And own'd what revelation taught;
Ere human reason grew so bright,
Men could see all things by its light,
And summon'd scripture to appear,
And stand before its bar severe,
To clear its page from charge of fiction,
And answer pleas of contradiction;
Ere miracles were held in scorn,
Or Bolingbroke, or Hume were born.
The darkness of the former days,
When men the paths of duty sought,
And own'd what revelation taught;
Ere human reason grew so bright,
Men could see all things by its light,
And summon'd scripture to appear,
And stand before its bar severe,
To clear its page from charge of fiction,
And answer pleas of contradiction;
Ere miracles were held in scorn,
Or Bolingbroke, or Hume were born.
And now the fop, with great energy,
Levels at priestcraft and the clergy,
At holy cant and godly prayers,
And bigot's hypocritic airs;
Musters each vet'ran jest to aid,
Calls piety the parson's trade;
Cries out 'tis shame, past all abiding,
The world should still be so priest-ridden;
Applauds free thought that scorns controul,
And gen'rous nobleness of soul,
That acts its pleasure good or evil,
And fears nor deity, nor devil.
These standing topics never fail
To prompt our little wits to rail,
With mimic droll'ry of grimace,
And pleased impertinence of face,
'Gainst virtue arm their feeble forces,
And sound the charge in peals of curses.
Levels at priestcraft and the clergy,
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And bigot's hypocritic airs;
Musters each vet'ran jest to aid,
Calls piety the parson's trade;
Cries out 'tis shame, past all abiding,
The world should still be so priest-ridden;
Applauds free thought that scorns controul,
And gen'rous nobleness of soul,
That acts its pleasure good or evil,
And fears nor deity, nor devil.
These standing topics never fail
To prompt our little wits to rail,
With mimic droll'ry of grimace,
And pleased impertinence of face,
'Gainst virtue arm their feeble forces,
And sound the charge in peals of curses.
Blest be his ashes! under ground
If any particles be found,
Who friendly to the coxcomb race,
First taught those arts of common-place,
Those topics fine, on which the beau
May all his little wits bestow,
Secure the simple laugh to raise,
And gain the dunce's palm of praise.
For where's the theme that beaux could hit
With least similitude of wit,
Did not religion and the priest
Supply materials for the jest?
The poor in purse, with metals vile
For current coins, the world beguile;
The poor in brain, for genuine wit
Pass off a viler counterfeit;
While various thus their doom appears,
These lose their souls, and those their ears;
The want of fancy, whim supplies,
And native humour, mad caprice;
Loud noise for argument goes off,
For mirth polite, the ribald's scoff;
For sense, lewd droll'ries entertain us,
And wit is mimick'd by profaneness.
If any particles be found,
Who friendly to the coxcomb race,
First taught those arts of common-place,
Those topics fine, on which the beau
May all his little wits bestow,
Secure the simple laugh to raise,
And gain the dunce's palm of praise.
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With least similitude of wit,
Did not religion and the priest
Supply materials for the jest?
The poor in purse, with metals vile
For current coins, the world beguile;
The poor in brain, for genuine wit
Pass off a viler counterfeit;
While various thus their doom appears,
These lose their souls, and those their ears;
The want of fancy, whim supplies,
And native humour, mad caprice;
Loud noise for argument goes off,
For mirth polite, the ribald's scoff;
For sense, lewd droll'ries entertain us,
And wit is mimick'd by profaneness.
Thus 'twixt the taylor and the player,
And Hume, and Tristram, and Voltaire,
Complete in modern trim array'd,
The clockwork gentleman is made;
As thousand fops ere Dick have shone,
In airs, which Dick ere long shall own.
And Hume, and Tristram, and Voltaire,
Complete in modern trim array'd,
The clockwork gentleman is made;
As thousand fops ere Dick have shone,
In airs, which Dick ere long shall own.
But not immediate from the clown,
He gains this zenith of renown;
Slow dawns the coxcomb's op'ning ray;
Rome was not finish'd in a day.
Perfection is the work of time;
Gradual he mounts the height sublime;
First shines abroad with bolder grace,
In suits of second-handed lace,
And learns by rote, like studious players,
The fop's infinity of airs;
Till merit, to full ripeness grown,
By constancy attains the crown.
He gains this zenith of renown;
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Rome was not finish'd in a day.
Perfection is the work of time;
Gradual he mounts the height sublime;
First shines abroad with bolder grace,
In suits of second-handed lace,
And learns by rote, like studious players,
The fop's infinity of airs;
Till merit, to full ripeness grown,
By constancy attains the crown.
Now should our tale at large proceed,
Here might I tell, and you might read
At college next how Dick went on,
And prated much and studied none;
Yet shone with fair, unborrow'd ray,
And steer'd where nature led the way.
What though each academic science
Bade all his efforts bold defiance!
What though in algebra his station
Was negative in each equation;
Though in astronomy survey'd,
His constant course was retrograde;
O'er Newton's system though he sleeps
And finds his wits in dark eclipse!
His talents proved of highest price
At all the arts of cards and dice;
His genius turn'd, with greatest skill,
To whist, loo, cribbage and quadrille,
And taught, to every rival's shame,
Each nice distinction of the game.
Here might I tell, and you might read
At college next how Dick went on,
And prated much and studied none;
Yet shone with fair, unborrow'd ray,
And steer'd where nature led the way.
What though each academic science
Bade all his efforts bold defiance!
What though in algebra his station
Was negative in each equation;
Though in astronomy survey'd,
His constant course was retrograde;
O'er Newton's system though he sleeps
And finds his wits in dark eclipse!
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At all the arts of cards and dice;
His genius turn'd, with greatest skill,
To whist, loo, cribbage and quadrille,
And taught, to every rival's shame,
Each nice distinction of the game.
As noon-day sun, the case is plain,
Nature has nothing made in vain.
The blind mole cannot fly; 'tis found
His genius leads him under ground.
The man that was not made to think,
Was born to game, and swear, and drink.
Let fops defiance bid to satire,
Mind Tully's rule, and follow nature.
Nature has nothing made in vain.
The blind mole cannot fly; 'tis found
His genius leads him under ground.
The man that was not made to think,
Was born to game, and swear, and drink.
Let fops defiance bid to satire,
Mind Tully's rule, and follow nature.
Yet here the muse, of Dick, must tell
He shone in active scenes as well;
The foremost place in riots held,
In all the gifts of noise excell'd,
His tongue, the bell, whose rattling din would
Summon the rake's nocturnal synod;
Swore with a grace that seem'd design'd
To emulate the infernal kind,
Nor only make their realms his due,
But learn, betimes, their language too;
And well expert in arts polite,
Drank wine by quarts to mend his sight,
For he that drinks till all things reel,
Sees double, and that's twice as well;
And ere its force confined his feet,
Led out his mob to scour the street;
Made all authority his may-game,
And strain'd his little wits to plague 'em.
Then, every crime atoned with ease,
Pro meritis, received degrees;
And soon, as fortune chanced to fall,
His father died and left him all.
Then, bent to gain all modern fashions,
He sail'd to visit foreign nations,
Resolved, by toil unaw'd, to import
The follies of the British court;
But in his course o'erlook'd whate'er
Was learn'd or valued, rich or rare.
He shone in active scenes as well;
The foremost place in riots held,
In all the gifts of noise excell'd,
His tongue, the bell, whose rattling din would
Summon the rake's nocturnal synod;
Swore with a grace that seem'd design'd
To emulate the infernal kind,
Nor only make their realms his due,
But learn, betimes, their language too;
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Drank wine by quarts to mend his sight,
For he that drinks till all things reel,
Sees double, and that's twice as well;
And ere its force confined his feet,
Led out his mob to scour the street;
Made all authority his may-game,
And strain'd his little wits to plague 'em.
Then, every crime atoned with ease,
Pro meritis, received degrees;
And soon, as fortune chanced to fall,
His father died and left him all.
Then, bent to gain all modern fashions,
He sail'd to visit foreign nations,
Resolved, by toil unaw'd, to import
The follies of the British court;
But in his course o'erlook'd whate'er
Was learn'd or valued, rich or rare.
As fire electric draws together
Each hair and straw and dust and feather,
The travell'd dunce collects betimes
The levities of other climes;
And when long toil has given success,
Returns his native land to bless,
A patriot fop, that struts by rules,
And Knight of all the shire of fools.
Each hair and straw and dust and feather,
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The levities of other climes;
And when long toil has given success,
Returns his native land to bless,
A patriot fop, that struts by rules,
And Knight of all the shire of fools.
The praise of other learning lost,
To know the world is all his boast,
By conduct teach our country widgeons,
How coxcombs shine in other regions,
Display his travell'd airs and fashions,
And scoff at college educations.
To know the world is all his boast,
By conduct teach our country widgeons,
How coxcombs shine in other regions,
Display his travell'd airs and fashions,
And scoff at college educations.
Whoe'er at college points his sneer,
Proves that himself learn'd nothing there,
And wisely makes his honest aim
To pay the mutual debt of shame.
Proves that himself learn'd nothing there,
And wisely makes his honest aim
To pay the mutual debt of shame.
Mean while our hero's anxious care
Was all employ'd to please the fair;
With vows of love and airs polite,
Oft sighing at some lady's feet;
Pleased, while he thus in form address'd her,
With his own gracefulness of gesture,
And gaudy flattery, that displays
A studied elegance of phrase.
So gay at balls the coxcomb shone,
He thought the female world his own.
By beauty's charms he ne'er was fired;
He flatter'd where the world admired.
Himself, so well he prized desert,
Possest his own unrivall'd heart;
Nor charms, nor chance, nor change could move
The firm foundations of his love;
His heart, so constant and so wise,
Pursued what sages old advise,
Bade others seek for fame or pelf;
His only study was himself.
Was all employ'd to please the fair;
With vows of love and airs polite,
Oft sighing at some lady's feet;
Pleased, while he thus in form address'd her,
With his own gracefulness of gesture,
And gaudy flattery, that displays
A studied elegance of phrase.
53
He thought the female world his own.
By beauty's charms he ne'er was fired;
He flatter'd where the world admired.
Himself, so well he prized desert,
Possest his own unrivall'd heart;
Nor charms, nor chance, nor change could move
The firm foundations of his love;
His heart, so constant and so wise,
Pursued what sages old advise,
Bade others seek for fame or pelf;
His only study was himself.
Yet Dick allow'd the fair, desert,
Nor wholly scorn'd them in his heart;
There was an end, as oft he said,
For which alone the sex were made,
Whereto, of nature's rules observant,
He strove to render them subservient;
And held the fair by inclination,
Were form'd exactly for their station,
That real virtue ne'er could find
Her lodging in a female mind;
Quoted from Pope, in phrase so smart,
That all the sex are ‘rakes at heart,’
And praised Mahomet's sense, who holds
That women ne'er were born with souls.
Nor wholly scorn'd them in his heart;
There was an end, as oft he said,
For which alone the sex were made,
Whereto, of nature's rules observant,
He strove to render them subservient;
And held the fair by inclination,
Were form'd exactly for their station,
That real virtue ne'er could find
Her lodging in a female mind;
Quoted from Pope, in phrase so smart,
That all the sex are ‘rakes at heart,’
54
That women ne'er were born with souls.
Thus blest, our hero saw his name
Rank'd in the foremost lists of fame.
What though the learn'd, the good, the wise,
His light affected airs despise!
What though the fair of higher mind,
With brighter thought and sense refined,
Whose fancy rose on nobler wing,
Scorn'd the vain, gilt, gay, noisy thing!
Each light coquette spread forth her charms,
And lured the hero to her arms.
For beaux and light coquettes, by fate
Were each design'd the other's mate,
By instinct love, for each may find
Its likeness in the other's mind.
Rank'd in the foremost lists of fame.
What though the learn'd, the good, the wise,
His light affected airs despise!
What though the fair of higher mind,
With brighter thought and sense refined,
Whose fancy rose on nobler wing,
Scorn'd the vain, gilt, gay, noisy thing!
Each light coquette spread forth her charms,
And lured the hero to her arms.
For beaux and light coquettes, by fate
Were each design'd the other's mate,
By instinct love, for each may find
Its likeness in the other's mind.
Each gayer fop of modern days
Allow'd to Dick the foremost praise,
Borrow'd his style, his airs, grimace,
And aped his modish form of dress.
Even some, with sense endued, felt hopes
And warm ambition to be fops:
But men of sense, 'tis fix'd by fate,
Are coxcombs but of second rate.
The pert and lively dunce alone
Can steer the course that Dick has shown;
The lively dunce alone can climb
The summit, where he shines sublime.
Allow'd to Dick the foremost praise,
Borrow'd his style, his airs, grimace,
And aped his modish form of dress.
Even some, with sense endued, felt hopes
And warm ambition to be fops:
But men of sense, 'tis fix'd by fate,
Are coxcombs but of second rate.
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Can steer the course that Dick has shown;
The lively dunce alone can climb
The summit, where he shines sublime.
But ah! how short the fairest name
Stands on the slippery steep of fame!
The noblest heights we're soonest giddy on;
The sun ne'er stays in his meridian;
The brightest stars must quickly set;
And Dick has deeply run in debt.
Not all his oaths can duns dismay,
Or deadly bailiffs fright away,
Not all his compliments can bail,
Or minuets dance him from the jail.
Law not the least respect can give
To the laced coat, or ruffled sleeve;
His splendid ornaments must fall,
And all is lost, for these were all.
Stands on the slippery steep of fame!
The noblest heights we're soonest giddy on;
The sun ne'er stays in his meridian;
The brightest stars must quickly set;
And Dick has deeply run in debt.
Not all his oaths can duns dismay,
Or deadly bailiffs fright away,
Not all his compliments can bail,
Or minuets dance him from the jail.
Law not the least respect can give
To the laced coat, or ruffled sleeve;
His splendid ornaments must fall,
And all is lost, for these were all.
What then remains? in health's decline,
By lewdness, luxury and wine,
Worn by disease, with purse too shallow,
To lead in fashions, or to follow,
The meteor's gaudy light is gone;
Lone age with hasty step comes on.
How pale the palsied fop appears,
Low shivering in the vale of years;
The ghost of all his former days,
When folly lent the ear of praise,
And beaux with pleased attention hung
On accents of his chatt'ring tongue.
Now all those days of pleasure o'er,
That chatt'ring tongue must prate no more.
From every place, that bless'd his hopes,
He's elbow'd out by younger fops.
Each pleasing thought unknown, that cheers
The sadness of declining years,
In lonely age he sinks forlorn,
Of all, and even himself, the scorn.
By lewdness, luxury and wine,
Worn by disease, with purse too shallow,
To lead in fashions, or to follow,
The meteor's gaudy light is gone;
Lone age with hasty step comes on.
56
Low shivering in the vale of years;
The ghost of all his former days,
When folly lent the ear of praise,
And beaux with pleased attention hung
On accents of his chatt'ring tongue.
Now all those days of pleasure o'er,
That chatt'ring tongue must prate no more.
From every place, that bless'd his hopes,
He's elbow'd out by younger fops.
Each pleasing thought unknown, that cheers
The sadness of declining years,
In lonely age he sinks forlorn,
Of all, and even himself, the scorn.
The coxcomb's course were gay and clever,
Would health and money last for ever,
Did conscience never break the charm,
Nor fear of future worlds alarm.
But oh, since youth and years decay,
And life's vain follies fleet away,
Since age has no respect for beaux,
And death the gaudy scene must close,
Happy the man, whose early bloom
Provides for endless years to come;
That learning seeks, whose useful gain
Repays the course of studious pain,
Whose fame the thankful age shall raise,
And future times repeat its praise;
Attains that heart-felt peace of mind,
To all the will of heaven resign'd,
Which calms in youth, the blast of rage,
Adds sweetest hope to sinking age,
With valued use prolongs the breath,
And gives a placid smile to death.
Would health and money last for ever,
Did conscience never break the charm,
Nor fear of future worlds alarm.
But oh, since youth and years decay,
And life's vain follies fleet away,
Since age has no respect for beaux,
And death the gaudy scene must close,
Happy the man, whose early bloom
Provides for endless years to come;
57
Repays the course of studious pain,
Whose fame the thankful age shall raise,
And future times repeat its praise;
Attains that heart-felt peace of mind,
To all the will of heaven resign'd,
Which calms in youth, the blast of rage,
Adds sweetest hope to sinking age,
With valued use prolongs the breath,
And gives a placid smile to death.
END OF PART SECOND.
There is a certain region on the western continent, situated within the northern temperate zone, where in some of the most notable and respectable schools, not only indolence and dulness, but almost every crime, may by the rich be atoned for with pecuniary satisfaction.
Geographical Paradoxes. | The poetical works of John Trumbull . | |