Albions England A Continued Historie of the same Kingdome, from the Originals of the first Inhabitants thereof: With most the chiefe Alterations and Accidents theare hapning, vnto, and in the happie Raigne of our now most gracious Soueraigne, Queene Elizabeth: Not barren in varietie of inuentiue and historicall Intermixtures: First penned and published by William Warner: and now reuised, and newly inlarged by the same Author: Whereunto is also newly added an Epitome of the whole Historie of England |
 |
|
 | 1. |
| 2. |
| 3. |
| 4. |
| 5. |
| 6. |
| XXIX. |
| XXX. |
| XXXI. |
CHAP. XXXI.
|
| XXXII. |
| XXXIII. |
| 7. |
| 8. |
| 9. |
| 10. |
| 11. |
| 12. |
| 13. |
 |
CHAP. XXXI.
Albions England |  |
152
CHAP. XXXI.
The Goteheards of Hyrcania hild their Orgies vnto me,
And there was I, vnseene of them, the Festifall to see.
Now had they censed, and with glee eate were the hallowed Kids,
When as the fell to Rowndelaies, and I the Rownd amids.
Not Satires, or the Naiades, were halfe so nimble as
This countrey Consort (for each Lad was sorted with a Lasse.)
There was a tricksie Girle, I wot, albeit clad in gray,
As peart as bird, as strait as boult, as fresh as flower in May,
As faire as Cupids Mother, or through him it is I erre,
If so I erre (for why his shaft had fixed me to her.)
Shee daunsing dyed her lilly Cheekes, whil'st I for loue did die,
And as vnuisible I stood (what bootes it me to lye)
And drew with breath her sweet-stole breath, so acting spiritually,
The feast was done, and all vndone that I did wish to doe:
My Deity adiornde therefore, in humaine forme I wowe.
And first (because that first they should approch vs Gods) I faine
My selfe a Priest (for well I wot they sildome wooe in vaine:)
I made me smug, and with a Tex did intermix a toye,
And tould how fine and faire a life our Clergie-Femes inioy,
And how our leisure fitted Loue. And let it fit (quoth she)
To such as lust for loue, Sir Clarke, you clergefie not me.
Then came I curious in my silkes (But who would thinke that Pan
Could play the Courtier?) and did faine my selfe a iolly man:
I talkt of Castles, Mannors, Parkes, and all things more than mine:
Too course (quoth she) am I for you, and you for me too fine.
Then Souldier-like I sued, and did boast of Battels many,
And standing on my Manhood would not be coriu'd of any:
And sometimes proffered kindnesse, such as came not to the push,
But checked for my boystrousnes was balked with a blush.
Then play I master Merchant, and did ply her by the booke:
I spake of great Accompts, Receites, nor little care I tooke
For rigging and returne of Ships (her lips meane while my Pex.)
Ply Sir (quoth she) your busie trade, you are besides the Tex.
I seeme a countrie Yeoman, Then a Craftsman, both in vaine,
The former was too lumpish, and the latter worse of twayne:
Doe what I could, I could not doe whereby her loue to gaine.
Then thought I, out of doubt, as I a God fayne Manhood, so
This is transform'd Diana for some practise meant beloe.
And there was I, vnseene of them, the Festifall to see.
Now had they censed, and with glee eate were the hallowed Kids,
When as the fell to Rowndelaies, and I the Rownd amids.
Not Satires, or the Naiades, were halfe so nimble as
This countrey Consort (for each Lad was sorted with a Lasse.)
There was a tricksie Girle, I wot, albeit clad in gray,
As peart as bird, as strait as boult, as fresh as flower in May,
As faire as Cupids Mother, or through him it is I erre,
If so I erre (for why his shaft had fixed me to her.)
Shee daunsing dyed her lilly Cheekes, whil'st I for loue did die,
And as vnuisible I stood (what bootes it me to lye)
And drew with breath her sweet-stole breath, so acting spiritually,
The feast was done, and all vndone that I did wish to doe:
My Deity adiornde therefore, in humaine forme I wowe.
And first (because that first they should approch vs Gods) I faine
My selfe a Priest (for well I wot they sildome wooe in vaine:)
I made me smug, and with a Tex did intermix a toye,
And tould how fine and faire a life our Clergie-Femes inioy,
And how our leisure fitted Loue. And let it fit (quoth she)
To such as lust for loue, Sir Clarke, you clergefie not me.
Then came I curious in my silkes (But who would thinke that Pan
Could play the Courtier?) and did faine my selfe a iolly man:
153
Too course (quoth she) am I for you, and you for me too fine.
Then Souldier-like I sued, and did boast of Battels many,
And standing on my Manhood would not be coriu'd of any:
And sometimes proffered kindnesse, such as came not to the push,
But checked for my boystrousnes was balked with a blush.
Then play I master Merchant, and did ply her by the booke:
I spake of great Accompts, Receites, nor little care I tooke
For rigging and returne of Ships (her lips meane while my Pex.)
Ply Sir (quoth she) your busie trade, you are besides the Tex.
I seeme a countrie Yeoman, Then a Craftsman, both in vaine,
The former was too lumpish, and the latter worse of twayne:
Doe what I could, I could not doe whereby her loue to gaine.
Then thought I, out of doubt, as I a God fayne Manhood, so
This is transform'd Diana for some practise meant beloe.
A yeere was past, and I past hope through coyish chast denyall,
And yeat I could not but persist in quest of further tryall.
I met God Pryapus (for he, not Venus sonne, it is
Abuseth vs, This darteth Loue, That driues to lust amis)
Seest yonder Clowne? quoth Pryapus (not far-off was Loute
With neare a handsome rag, himselfe lesse handsome soole to snout,
Lesse wel-form'd, or more il-fac'st, & like Clenchpoope looke & lim,
Lesse mannerd, and worse gated than this Saturns-Eeue-made Slim,
God neuer made since God made Man, if euer God made him.)
That Lob, quoth he, and yonder Lasse that this way driues her Gotes
Do marke them, Pan, you may obserue frō them vnthought of notes.
I knew her for my Minion wench of whom I earst did tell.
First blend they heards, and forthwith lips, and after billing fell
To other sport, such sport ywis as would haue lik't me well.
Must I, thought I, giue ayme to such a skrub and such a Saint,
That Skowndrell, and this Counterfeit: confounded so I faint.
And yeat I could not but persist in quest of further tryall.
I met God Pryapus (for he, not Venus sonne, it is
Abuseth vs, This darteth Loue, That driues to lust amis)
Seest yonder Clowne? quoth Pryapus (not far-off was Loute
With neare a handsome rag, himselfe lesse handsome soole to snout,
Lesse wel-form'd, or more il-fac'st, & like Clenchpoope looke & lim,
Lesse mannerd, and worse gated than this Saturns-Eeue-made Slim,
God neuer made since God made Man, if euer God made him.)
That Lob, quoth he, and yonder Lasse that this way driues her Gotes
Do marke them, Pan, you may obserue frō them vnthought of notes.
I knew her for my Minion wench of whom I earst did tell.
First blend they heards, and forthwith lips, and after billing fell
To other sport, such sport ywis as would haue lik't me well.
Must I, thought I, giue ayme to such a skrub and such a Saint,
That Skowndrell, and this Counterfeit: confounded so I faint.
How cheere you Pan, quoth Pryapus, the shameles God of lust,
Thus can I fit such friends as you with such a Trull of trust:
(We were indeed ere then at odds,) So Priapus he left me,
When he had brought me to this sight that neere of sense bereft me.
But thus I loathed where I lou'd, and learned, not too late,
That coyest are not chastest, that the gayest Females mate
With Loutes as soone as Lords, that Loue is lucke not shiftles fate,
That cowled, celled, he, or she, whoso, or wheresoeuer,
Or Votarie, or Secular, scarse one pryaped neuer.
Thus can I fit such friends as you with such a Trull of trust:
154
When he had brought me to this sight that neere of sense bereft me.
But thus I loathed where I lou'd, and learned, not too late,
That coyest are not chastest, that the gayest Females mate
With Loutes as soone as Lords, that Loue is lucke not shiftles fate,
That cowled, celled, he, or she, whoso, or wheresoeuer,
Or Votarie, or Secular, scarse one pryaped neuer.
To Pans report did Mercurie replie and thus recite,
Of Cupid and of Priapus doth Pan distinguish right:
But let be Lust, a word or two of Loue and of his might.
I entring Guest-wise on a time the frolicke Thæbane Court,
Of Cupid and of Priapus doth Pan distinguish right:
But let be Lust, a word or two of Loue and of his might.
Mine eye presented to mine heart a Nymph of louely Port:
Her knew I not, nor knew she me, vnknowne therefore vnkist
I loyter on the Earth, meane while in Heauen not vnmist.
My Senses held a Synode, and vnacted Acts dispute,
And nothing els I did affect but to effect my sute:
For, whensoeuer Loue proceedes, or whatsoere it be,
Or whosoeuer loueth, Loue tormenteth in degree.
Mine Eye conuaid it to mine Heart, mine Heart controwld mine Eye,
Yeat Loue retrin'd it selfe, I lou'd not knowing whom or why.
Then did I seeke, and finde (who am no Milksop as ye wot)
Acquaintance in the Court, the which the nicest balked not:
Nor smally did my shape, my tongue, and tunes (no common geere)
Preferre their Master to a place about their Mistresse neere.
When she did sigh then I did sob, I laught if she did smile,
And by officious Forgeries pretended to begile.
But her, not coy, I found so chast, as saue a kisse or twaine,
I nothing got, although in all I vained to her vaine.
From ill therefore I grew to worse, from worse to worse, for why?
Through ouer-louing at the length I loued ielously.
155
My colour ceast and, sicke, I forge contrary cause to men.
So many Quames came ore mine heart as newes to eare or eie
Of others commoning in sport, or courting' seriouslie,
No Corsiue to Coriuals, and no death vnto despaire:
I did not hope, yeat held I on with cost to nourish care.
Sometime, attyred by the booke, I faind a merrie cheere:
Sometime I drouped, and did weare disordredly my greere.
But how-soere I came to her, I found her still the same,
Gamesome enough to intertaine, and yet for me no game:
And though enuiously I aym'd at others better speede,
Yeat, too precisely, did I sift such doubts were more than neede.
Then rowsing vp my selfe, I with my selfe did reason thus:
No folly were in Loue, if so no folly were in vs.
Wheare Mercurie is layd a sleepe may others lay a straw:
The Louer and Beloued are not tyed to one Law:
Because I am the same I am should shee not therefore bee
The same she is: mine is too loue, but hers to disagree.
Then Mercurie be to thy selfe, thy selfe these thoughts begile
With meeter thoughts, thou lingerest in losse too long a while.
Thinke not thy greatnesse, or thy gifts, or gracious eyes may get her:
A Foole more foule may seeme more faire, Loue may thinke bad the better.
If she determine Chastitie, then falls thy sure to ground:
Or if some other be preferd, then better lost than found:
Likte, or misliked, to thy Loue should reason be the bound.
Or Women loue to be belou'd of chaunge of Clyents, or
Vncertaine wheare to find them, with the Eagle or the Dorr.
Albeit Beautie mooues to loue, and Loue doth make thee sue,
Better at first be Non-sute, than at length not to subdue.
Such Reasons seeming plausible, I fleeting whence I loued,
By absence and new Exercise old Passions were remoued.
So did I loue, and so I left, so many a skorne, and skoffe,
156
And women so lesse stand aloofe, when men can so be wise,
So lesser sute hath lucklier spcede, than to be too precise.
Our owne intemprature doth worke in vs our owne vnrest,
And Beautie, Loue, and women fault but as fault beeings best.
So helpe me Iupiter, (quoth Mars) in Loue so may I speede,
As Mercurie and Pan doe erre in poynts of Loue indeede.
Precisians and plaine Plodders (such is This, and so is That)
In Loue doe swallow Cammels, whilest they nicely straine a Gnat.
Why what be Women? Women, geld the latter sillabell,
Then are they nothing more then Woe, their names remaine doth tel.
Their yea, or no, euen when they sweare they loue or loue vs not,
Beleeue who list, soone be they gone, as sodainly are got.
What neede we creepe the Crosse to giue vnto a begging Saint?
Tush tush, a Flye for booke-Loue, none be fortunate that faint.
Not paper, pursse, or kerchiefe Plea lets Fancie sooner loase
Then at the Shrine to watch the Saint, She is not coy, but cloase:
Pollitians know to cheapen, what to offer, when to skoase.
The Clowne, no doubt, that potted Pan lackt Art to glose and flatter,
And yeat nor Pan nor Mercurie went roundlier to the Matter:
He found right Methode (for theare is a Methode, time, and place,
Which fooles obseruing, do cōmence ere Wisemē haue their grace.)
Though dastard Hawkes do sore aloft and dare not seaze vpon,
Or Bussards-like doe sit aloofe vntill the game be gon,
Kinde killing Hawkes but wag the wing, and worke to sowse anon.
Once Loue, surreuerence, made my selfe vaile Bonnet, So submis
My ceremoniall wooing was, as common wooing is:
With rufull lookes, sighes, sweete Pigsnye, and Fooleries more than few
I courted her, so much more stout by how much more I sew:
Till aptly singled, as it hapt, I say not what did hap,
But loue that late did load my Head, did load her willing Lap.
Nor this Lad Loue of that same Loue is guiltie any whit,
For why? nine Moones did wexe and waine betweene his birth and it.
Alas, poore Boy, before he was, Loue was a common game,
The first-made Man, the Rib-rest Man in Eden, shewd the same:
For when his sudden eyes admir'd the boan-flesht faire Conuart
Deriued from his Side, his tongue, directed by his hart,
Foorth with pronounced Women, but a moment earst vnknoen,
So deare as flesh of his owne flesh, and bone of his owne boen:
Quit them, ye Gods, this Lad, and let your search of Loue alone,
Who will in power be felt of all, in person found of none.
Or rather is not reall, but some Fansie: if not, then
Fantasticall in Women, but essentially in Men.
If Loue be such in Women (But mistake me not, for whie?
I note them but fantasticall in fault of Destinie)
Deferre were then to erre: When all is done that doe we may,
Labor we sorrowing all the night, and sewing all the day,
The female-faultie Custome yeelds lesse merit greatest pay,
And ventrous more then vertuous meanes doth beare the bell away.
But now to Venus (worthie such a Pheere, not such a Foe)
Vulcan, me thinkes, obserueth well slight proofe in yea and noe,
The Court therefore is well aduis'd to Sentence not to groe.
The Gods, that did ere while but ayme at Vulcans wiues sonnes Father,
Saw Venus blush, and held that aime autentical the rather.
Ende Gods and Goddesses, quoth Ioue, to argue to and fro,
Like good and bad is either Sex: Nay more, behold, than so,
I viewd erewhile the Destenies, and thence I thus did know.
Zimois, when Troy must perish, shall send downe her Floods a Fleete,
And world it were our Father ruld when Create thought him vnmeete:
But long time hence, & farre Starres thence, that World shall world an Ile
Enuyrond with the Ocean waues, then famous in short while
Through often Triumphes ouer Foes, and Traffike euery wheare,
Howbeit thrice orerunne, and once a Conquest shall be theare.
Those Changes notwithstanding they a People shall remaine
Vnchased thence, and of that Streene shall Fiue at length re-raigne.
Dread, terrrene Gods, the Fist of those, a terrene Goddesse, She
Euen at the firie Trigon shall your chiefe Ascendant be:
Right Phœbe-like (Phœbe may like a Compeere like to her)
Retriue her Name, heere named, to time the tryall we refer.
As Mercurie and Pan doe erre in poynts of Loue indeede.
Precisians and plaine Plodders (such is This, and so is That)
In Loue doe swallow Cammels, whilest they nicely straine a Gnat.
Why what be Women? Women, geld the latter sillabell,
Then are they nothing more then Woe, their names remaine doth tel.
Their yea, or no, euen when they sweare they loue or loue vs not,
Beleeue who list, soone be they gone, as sodainly are got.
What neede we creepe the Crosse to giue vnto a begging Saint?
Tush tush, a Flye for booke-Loue, none be fortunate that faint.
Not paper, pursse, or kerchiefe Plea lets Fancie sooner loase
Then at the Shrine to watch the Saint, She is not coy, but cloase:
Pollitians know to cheapen, what to offer, when to skoase.
The Clowne, no doubt, that potted Pan lackt Art to glose and flatter,
And yeat nor Pan nor Mercurie went roundlier to the Matter:
He found right Methode (for theare is a Methode, time, and place,
Which fooles obseruing, do cōmence ere Wisemē haue their grace.)
Though dastard Hawkes do sore aloft and dare not seaze vpon,
Or Bussards-like doe sit aloofe vntill the game be gon,
Kinde killing Hawkes but wag the wing, and worke to sowse anon.
Once Loue, surreuerence, made my selfe vaile Bonnet, So submis
My ceremoniall wooing was, as common wooing is:
With rufull lookes, sighes, sweete Pigsnye, and Fooleries more than few
I courted her, so much more stout by how much more I sew:
Till aptly singled, as it hapt, I say not what did hap,
But loue that late did load my Head, did load her willing Lap.
Nor this Lad Loue of that same Loue is guiltie any whit,
157
Alas, poore Boy, before he was, Loue was a common game,
The first-made Man, the Rib-rest Man in Eden, shewd the same:
For when his sudden eyes admir'd the boan-flesht faire Conuart
Deriued from his Side, his tongue, directed by his hart,
Foorth with pronounced Women, but a moment earst vnknoen,
So deare as flesh of his owne flesh, and bone of his owne boen:
Quit them, ye Gods, this Lad, and let your search of Loue alone,
Who will in power be felt of all, in person found of none.
Or rather is not reall, but some Fansie: if not, then
Fantasticall in Women, but essentially in Men.
If Loue be such in Women (But mistake me not, for whie?
I note them but fantasticall in fault of Destinie)
Deferre were then to erre: When all is done that doe we may,
Labor we sorrowing all the night, and sewing all the day,
The female-faultie Custome yeelds lesse merit greatest pay,
And ventrous more then vertuous meanes doth beare the bell away.
But now to Venus (worthie such a Pheere, not such a Foe)
Vulcan, me thinkes, obserueth well slight proofe in yea and noe,
The Court therefore is well aduis'd to Sentence not to groe.
The Gods, that did ere while but ayme at Vulcans wiues sonnes Father,
Saw Venus blush, and held that aime autentical the rather.
Ende Gods and Goddesses, quoth Ioue, to argue to and fro,
Like good and bad is either Sex: Nay more, behold, than so,
I viewd erewhile the Destenies, and thence I thus did know.
Zimois, when Troy must perish, shall send downe her Floods a Fleete,
And world it were our Father ruld when Create thought him vnmeete:
But long time hence, & farre Starres thence, that World shall world an Ile
Enuyrond with the Ocean waues, then famous in short while
Through often Triumphes ouer Foes, and Traffike euery wheare,
Howbeit thrice orerunne, and once a Conquest shall be theare.
Those Changes notwithstanding they a People shall remaine
Vnchased thence, and of that Streene shall Fiue at length re-raigne.
158
Euen at the firie Trigon shall your chiefe Ascendant be:
Right Phœbe-like (Phœbe may like a Compeere like to her)
Retriue her Name, heere named, to time the tryall we refer.
This sayd, he bids adiorne the Court, and willed Mercurie
Thencefoorth not to conuent the Gods for such a Foolerie,
As Loue, the idle Bodies worke, and Surfet of the Eie.
Thus did the Queene and Tuder chat: But thought of nothing lesse
Then that from them Ioues noted fiue, fated to such successe,
Should spring, as sprong, and part springs yet. But cease we to digresse
And shew we how her Sonne did long and lucklesse Raigne possesse,
Thencefoorth not to conuent the Gods for such a Foolerie,
As Loue, the idle Bodies worke, and Surfet of the Eie.
Thus did the Queene and Tuder chat: But thought of nothing lesse
Then that from them Ioues noted fiue, fated to such successe,
Should spring, as sprong, and part springs yet. But cease we to digresse
And shew we how her Sonne did long and lucklesse Raigne possesse,
|
CHAP. XXXI.
Albions England | |