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Albions England

A Continued Historie of the same Kingdome, from the Originals of the first Inhabitants thereof: With most the chiefe Alterations and Accidents theare hapning, vnto, and in the happie Raigne of our now most gracious Soueraigne, Queene Elizabeth: Not barren in varietie of inuentiue and historicall Intermixtures: First penned and published by William Warner: and now reuised, and newly inlarged by the same Author: Whereunto is also newly added an Epitome of the whole Historie of England
  

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THE SIXT BOOKE OF ALBIONS ENGLAND.
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 XXXVIII. 
 XXXIX. 
 XL. 
 XLI. 
 XLII. 
 XLIIII. 
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THE SIXT BOOKE OF ALBIONS ENGLAND.

CHAP. XXIX.

Henry (the fourth so named) hild the King deposed strate
In Pomfret Castell, howbeit in honourable State:
And got an Act, that who so wrought the Prisner to restore,
That Richards-selfe, to void their hope, shoulde die the first therefore:
Whose birth-brought Nature, gentle Lord, returning whence it straid,
Now altred him, erst altring it, and Richard mildly said.
I must not say I am, and would I might not say I was,
Of great the greatest, lesse they grieue from whom doth little passe:
Nor more it grieues to contrarie the same I haue been, then
To haue deserued not to be vnmaliced of men.
Thus humbled and full penitent liues he, lesse mal-content
Than was the Duke of Exeter, his brother, whose intent
Was at a Iusts to haue destroyd King Henry, but descryed,

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Himselfe, fower such, and many Knights the death of Traytors dyed:
And by these primer Yorkests thus King Richards date grew out:
But whether brayned, famisht, or exiled rests a doubt:
For often Vprores did ensue for him, as vndeceast,
Howbeit solemnely inter'd, himselfe, or Signe at least.
Twise by confederate Chiualrie the Piercies and their frends
Did fight and fall, for either warre to Henries honor ends.
He neuer had but warre, and was victorious euermore,
Aswell at home, as also of his Foes on forraine Shore:
Till lastly Armor ouercame all Enuie, and he liues
Of all beloued, and his death a common sorrow giues.
Hotspur his Sonne, Henry the fifth, hung at his Fathers eyes,
To watch his Ghost, & catch his Crowne, & that or ere he dyes:
And where the Father doubted if he got it well or no,
The Sonne did sweare, how so it came, he would it not forgo.
His bad did blisse the Bad, the Good dispaire all good: But neither
Did aime aright, for sodainly his chaunge deceiued either:
Of good becomming best, that was of ill the baddest, and
The true Idea of a King was not but in this Land.
He lead good fortune in a line, and did but warre and winne:
Fraunce was his Conquest: Scots but brag and he did beate them in:
A friend vnto weldoings, and an Enemie to sinne.
Yeat of the Yorkests neuer lackt he Princes that rebell,
Nor other than confusion to their still coniuring fell.
In fewe, if any Homer should of this Achilles sing,
As of that Greeke and Myrmidon the Macedonian King
Once noted would I note both Prince and Poet happiest men,
That for deseruing praise, and This for well imployed pen,
For well this Subiect might increase the Worthies vnto ten,
He, aged thirtie sixe, deceast and left his infant Sonne,
His Kingdome, Conquests, and his Queene (whose Fathers Realme he wonne)
To graue protection Regents, and so royall for the port,

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As that his Orphants Cradle seem'd an Alexanders Court.
Queene Katherine, Daughter of the French, King Henries wife of late,
The fayrest Lady in the West, hild with her sonne Estate:
She oft behild, and hild her peace, a braue Esquire of Wailes,
That tyde her fancie to his forme, till fancied forme preuailes.
All liking was reuersed Loue, saue Owen Tuder, all
Saue him (that durst not dreame such good) to her was lesse than small:
She formally by quaint degrees, attracting him to fauor,
Did nourish burnings in her selfe, by noting his behauor:
She pitched Tewe, he masshed, She vncompaned, To flie
He bids her solitary moodes, She askes the remedie:
Disclosed pangues sometimes, quoth he, in Phisicke phisicke is:
Which sometimes to obserue, quoth she, doth Patients patience mis:
Cureles to AEsculapius and Apollos selfe am I,
The latter felt my languor, and, immortall, wisht to die:
And yeat, saue one, no one disease lay hidden to his Art,
For you were bootelesse then to gesse how to vn-greeue my smart.
Had Daphne to Apollo beene Apollo, Tuder said,
His might haue beene, and so may be your Graces humor staid:
He, other Gods and Goddesses, found more contented Loue
Beloe, in diffring bosomes, than in equall beddes aboue:
I aime at Loue (for thereto your AEnigma doth incline)
And aime to him a Deity for whom I so deuine.
But gladly doubt I of the Man, for if I doubted not,
I should but massacer my lacke in enuy of his lot:
Yeat are vnwoorthie of the Moone Endymions lippes, I wot.
But (for I will disperse the mistes of further Mysteries,
And toogh the Pinnesse of my thoughts to kenning of your Eyes)
If Gentry, Madame, might conuay so great a good to mee,
From auncient King Cadwallader I haue my pettigree:
If wealth be said my want, I say your Grace doth want no wealth,
And my suppliment shall be loue, imployed to your health.
It hath beene when as heartie Loue did treate and tie the knot,

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Though now, if gold but lacke in graines, the wedding fadgeth not.
The goodly Queene in bashfull signes blusht out a dumbe Replie,
Which he did constur as she meant, and kist her reuerently.
Tuder, quoth she, I greater am than would I were for thee,
But can as little maister Loue as Lessers in degree.
My Father was a King, a King my Husband was, my Brother
He is a King, a King my Sonne, and I thy Soueraignes mother,
Yeat Fathers, Husbands, Brothers, Sonnes, & all their Stiles together.
Are lesser valewed than to liue beloued of my Tuder:
Should England, France, and thou thy selfe gainesay thy selfe for mine,
Thy selfe, France, England, nor what els? should barre me to be thine:
Yea, let them take me wilfull, or mistake me wanton, so
My selfe in loue do please my selfe let all the world say no:
Let Pesants marte their marriages, and thriue at peraduenture,
I loue for loue: no gentle heart should fancy by Indenture.
But tell me, Owen, am I not more forward then behooues?
I am, sweet-Heart, but blame me not, the same that speaketh loues.
And long may liue, quoth he, to loue, nor longer liue may I,
Than while I loue your Grace, and when I leaue disgraced die.
But Ladie, if I doe deserue, I then desire dispatch:
For many are the iealous Eies that on your beautie watch.
Good hap is like to hit me well, to hit so well is rare,
And rarenesse doth commence my suite, let sute conclude my care:
Should Cæsar kisse (he kissed her) it were but such a kisse,
And he, and I, here, or elsewhere, in other sport or this,
Doe act alike, no bettring but as your belouing is.
You may experience, when you please, what difference in the men,
And if King Henry pleased more, blame Owen Tuder then.
But am I not (yes, Sweete, I am) more sawsie than behooues?
Yeat for my heart forgiue my tongue, This speaketh, and That loues:
How he imprison'd did escape, and else what else-wheare reede:
The Queene and this braue Gentleman did marry, and their Seede

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Began that royall Race that did, doth, and may still succeed
In happie Empire of our Throne, a famous line in deed.
Once, when this Match was at a point, they merrily disposed,
Did descant what from vulgar toongs thereof would be supposed.
They will beleeue me amorous, or thee so wiued as
Vulcan, the Smith of Lemnos, that to Venus maried was.
The Queene did say: And Tuder said, I hope of hansell better,
In Venus and in Vulcans names more lieth than the letter:
For he was as I would not be, She as you should be neuer,
Either so apt to giue and take as pittie them to seuer.
I pray thee, Owen, quoth the Queene, how met they, canst thou tell?
I can he said, and more than so, then marke the processe well:
When Vulcan was a Batcheler, and Venus was vnwed,
Thus wowde he her, thus wonne he her, thus wowde & wonne he sped.

CHAP. XXX.

Venus , the fairest Goddesse, and as amorous as faire,
Belou'd of Mars, and louing Mars, made oftentimes repaire
To Vulcans forge, as to see wrought for Iupiter his Fire
And thunders, Mars his Armors, and the Sun-waines curious tire,
When they, indeed, of merriments in Loue did theare conspire,
And lastly did conclude the Smith a Stale vnto their sport,
Where in did Venus play her part, preuayling in this sort.
Vulcan (quoth she) no God there is, I thinke, but needeth thee:

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For Thunders Ioue, Ceres for Siethes, for Armors Mars I see,
Bacchus for prewning Kniues, and Pan for Sheep-hookes, Phœbus he
For Cart-tiers, Dis for shakling chaines, Neptune for Ankers, and
No God but lackes thee, sauing I, that aske not at thy hand.
My Swans do draw in silken Geeres, my wheeles be shod with downe,
No hardines is in beauties Coach: But thou, (by birth no Clowne,
But Ioue his Son, a God as we) art made a drudge too much,
When, if that Venus might be heard, thou shouldest not be such.
How apt are all, in those same toyles that tend to their behoofe,
To let thee beare till backe doth breake? but common is the proofe,
That cunning is not cunning if it standeth not aloofe.
By this had Vulcan hammered his heate, and bad to stay
The Bellowes, and he, lymping from the Anfeeld, thus did say:
My busines, Venus, is ydoe, now may I tend to play:
What wouldst thou? for I member scarce thy arging by my fay,
Wodst that I leaue the forge, and that I god it with the Gods?
If so thou meanst, thy meaning and my meaning be at ods:
Sweeter my Bellowes blowing and my hammers beating is
To me, then trimmest fidling on the trickest kit ywis,
Aske whatso-else I haue to giue, thous maunde it for a kis.
As if, quoth she, my kisses were so currant vnto all?
No, not at all to Vulcan, if his kindnesse be so small.
I aske thy proper ease, then earne thy proper ease, and aske
More than a kisse, at leastwise do thy selfe from Mars vntaske.
He is my foe Friend thou not him, nor forge him Armes but let
Him luske at home vnhonored, no good by him we get:
What lets but that we may become Superlatiues? Of vs
All stand in need, we need not them: Then gaue shee him a Bus.
And saist me so, quoth Vulcan, and vnto the Trough he hies,
And skowres his coly fists and face, and with his apron dries
Them, badly mended, and vnto the Queene of Dalliance sayes
That Mars should lusk at home for him. Then guilefull Venus playes

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Her part so well, that on her lappe his head the Dotard layes:
And whilst vpon her pressed Thies (no Hauen for such Hulke)
He lolls, and loades her with the weight of his vnwealdy bulke,
And whilst she coyes his sooty Cheekes, or curles his sweaty top,
The Groshead now and then, as hapt, a thred-bare terme lets drop:
Then laughes he like a horse, as who would say, trow, said I well?
But soone his wits were Nonplus, for his wooing could but spell.
This fitted her, for so before twixt Mars and her was ment,
Though not that she so cunningly should Mars of armes preuent,
But him to stawle in store, not els employd, was her intent.
Her Lubber now was snorting ripe, and she meane while was glad,
That for to serue her turne else-wheare so good a Staile she had.
What passe I, thinketh Venus, on his forme or fashions rude?
For, letting forme and fashion passe, one fashion is pursude
In getting Children: at the least, who so the Childe shall git,
It shall suffice that Vulcan is the same shall father it.
Now Mars in heauen, Anchises and Adonis on the earth
May earne for Babes, for Vulcan shall be parent at their birth.
Nay be it that he should espy false carding, what of it.
It shall be thought but ielousie in him, or want of wit:
Him frownes shal threat, or smiles intreat, and few will iudge, I winne,
If it shall come in question, that to Cockhole him were sinne.
Whilst thus she thinketh in her selfe the Cyclops did awake,
And, to be short, more doings passe and they a marriage make.
But wonder did the Deities, when bruted was the match,
That he so foule a thick-skinne should so faire a Lady catch,
They flout him to his face, and held it almes to arme his head.
Well, Venus shortly bagged, and ere long was Cupid bread,
And Vulcan (in like heresie of fathering as moe)
Did rack his Art to arme the Lad with wings, with shafts, with bowe,
Most forceable to loue or hate, as lifts him shootes bestow.
When Vulcans Venus had obtaind her Cupid armed thus,

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Then (for we wish that all besides be sutable to vs)
She, of the Gods and Goddesses before the wanton noted,
Was of the Gods and Goddesses for wantonnesse out-coted,
Not one but wexed amorous, yea euen Diana Doted.
Loues Mother had direction of his arrowes, and she wilde
Him hit the Son-God, for because he, blabbing, had behild
Her daliance with Adonis: so that vexed Phœbus loues
Faire Daphne, whom nor wooes, nor vowes, nor gifts, nor greatnesse moues.
Succesles therefore, and inrag'd, he bastards Cupid, and
(For stoutly on their honesties doe wylie Harlots stand)
Venus did chaife, and of the Gods their strife came to be skand.
Dispersing then her goodly haires, she baer'd so sweete a face,
As from the sternest Godhood might extort suborned grace:
Fast at her side clung naked Loue, a louely boy in deede,
And Vulcan, benched with the Gods, his wife did thus proceede,
(For Phœbus had already tould his tale with sence and heede.)
He sayes, quoth she, for chastitie my hauiour was amis,
Which proued or disproued, then in you to sentence is.
Ah, listen whence it is, ye Gods, that Venus is abused,
Because that Phœbus making loue to Daphne was refused:
If that were wrong, the wrong must then by Phœbe be excused,
Who, rescuing her Votarisse, did so preuent her brother,
But be it that this Boy of mine, not seeing one from other,
Did hit him, for the Sonnes offence should he maligne the mother?
And shall I tell the Childes offence? Why thus, forsooth, it was,
He fitted him to such a Loue as did for Beautie pas:
But if he say it needles was, because it booted not,
I say, that Beautie beggeth if by posting it be got:
He wooing, like himselfe, in post did kisse the post, and shee,
Too good to be his forced Trull, is now become his Tree.
His speeches too, though spoke by one, concernes in credit three.
Mine Husband, and my selfe, and Sonne, Gods, and as good as he.

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Now woe am I, we seuerally are, as it were, arayned
Of Cuckolrie, of Spous-breach, and of Bastardy, though fayned,
Yeat too too forcible I feare to be forgot of some,
For slaunder set on foote, though false, is talkatiuely dome.
Malicious (for thy malice is thy matter all in all
Is it to harlotize, thinkst thou, a Goddesse wrong too small,
But thou must forge it from the Earth, euen from the Sheep-cote? Nay
That colour lacketh colour thou thy selfe I troe wilt say:
Ambitious, fayre, and amorous thou termest me, if so,
Vnlikely to disparge my selfe or bacely stoope so loe,
But being such, and knowing thee in very deede the same,
Might, leauing petite loues, haue found thy selfe my readiest game,
For Phœbus is a Leacher, els are many tongues to blame.
Better no bad of mine (nor neede I feare that fault in thee)
Thy bad doth passe by probate, but a Quere is for mee.
Perhaps (such as it is) my forme may forge to his pretence,
Since Beautie is a common marke, apt therefore to offence.
Well, be it Beautie doth atract, attracting is belou'd,
Beloued courted, courted wonne, and wonne to action mou'd,
Yeat from such causes such effects what Consequence hath prou'd?
For Daphne was, I wot, full faire, and well can Phœbus court,
Yeat Daphne chastly did withstand, and Phœbus mist his sport.
My husband (though by trade a Smith, for birth out-brau'd of none,
And louely vnto Venus, though mislikt of many a one)
May for his plainnes also fit my foes inuectiue drifts:
As who would say, I wedded him to salue vp other shifts.
By Styx I vowe, although I should exceede my selfe for fare,
Yet Venus would be Vulcans, and he knowes I truely sware.
He is indeede no Gallant, yeat a God, and meerly free
From imperfections, such at least as pay not marriage see.
And for his plainnes, to be plaine, the rather choose I him,
For such as he liue best, loue best, and keepe their wiues most trim:

151

Wen Roysters either roue at chaunge, be peeuish or precise,
Faire women thererefore matching thus be not, say I, vnwise:
Iudge not by such presumptions then, they add but to his lies.
Thus haue you now a Medley of his malice and my mone,
His vice, my vow, and lastly rests your sentence to be knowne.
If Mercury should plead my cause, he could but set me cleare,
Good causes neede not curious termes, and equall Iudges heare
The Equity, not Eloquence, and so I hope will yee,
And so shall gratefull Venus sayle vnder your gracious Lee.
So, putting the finger in the Eye, the Deities discent,
Some hild with Phœbus, some with her, Which strife did Vulcan stent:
My wife, quoth he, more honest than her Cuser is, I troe,
Shall not ywis be bused by the squandring Pollo so,
She loues me, I durst sweare, and saue my selfe she loues no moe,
And why should you or I beleeue his yea before her noe?
Troth, sayd the Gods, since Vulcan is contented we are pleas'd:
And so the variance was by him thus wittely appeas'd:
Phœbus his Plainte did quash, but so he after-times did watch,
As that Sir Hornsbie had by proofe he was a louing Patch,
When Mars and Venus playing false the wier Net did catch.
Now riddle, Madame, if those tongues that make Synonamies
Of them and vs proue Oracles, what should thereof arise?
That more, quoth she, which you haue sayd than in the letter lies:
But names infect not, nor receiues your Riddle Prophesie,
If ought fore-sayd be ominous, should any feare, tis I.
When so the Queene had sayd, then to this more proceeded he,
Vulcan, Venus, Cupid, Sol, and Daphne turnd to Tree
Were tennis balles to euery tongue of euery Deitee.
Tush Tush, quoth Pan, gay Venus and the gentle youth her sonne
Are blameles blamed: What think you, would Phœbus thē haue don
Had he in loue beene crost as I? And then he thus begun.

152

CHAP. XXXI.

The Goteheards of Hyrcania hild their Orgies vnto me,
And there was I, vnseene of them, the Festifall to see.
Now had they censed, and with glee eate were the hallowed Kids,
When as the fell to Rowndelaies, and I the Rownd amids.
Not Satires, or the Naiades, were halfe so nimble as
This countrey Consort (for each Lad was sorted with a Lasse.)
There was a tricksie Girle, I wot, albeit clad in gray,
As peart as bird, as strait as boult, as fresh as flower in May,
As faire as Cupids Mother, or through him it is I erre,
If so I erre (for why his shaft had fixed me to her.)
Shee daunsing dyed her lilly Cheekes, whil'st I for loue did die,
And as vnuisible I stood (what bootes it me to lye)
And drew with breath her sweet-stole breath, so acting spiritually,
The feast was done, and all vndone that I did wish to doe:
My Deity adiornde therefore, in humaine forme I wowe.
And first (because that first they should approch vs Gods) I faine
My selfe a Priest (for well I wot they sildome wooe in vaine:)
I made me smug, and with a Tex did intermix a toye,
And tould how fine and faire a life our Clergie-Femes inioy,
And how our leisure fitted Loue. And let it fit (quoth she)
To such as lust for loue, Sir Clarke, you clergefie not me.
Then came I curious in my silkes (But who would thinke that Pan
Could play the Courtier?) and did faine my selfe a iolly man:

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I talkt of Castles, Mannors, Parkes, and all things more than mine:
Too course (quoth she) am I for you, and you for me too fine.
Then Souldier-like I sued, and did boast of Battels many,
And standing on my Manhood would not be coriu'd of any:
And sometimes proffered kindnesse, such as came not to the push,
But checked for my boystrousnes was balked with a blush.
Then play I master Merchant, and did ply her by the booke:
I spake of great Accompts, Receites, nor little care I tooke
For rigging and returne of Ships (her lips meane while my Pex.)
Ply Sir (quoth she) your busie trade, you are besides the Tex.
I seeme a countrie Yeoman, Then a Craftsman, both in vaine,
The former was too lumpish, and the latter worse of twayne:
Doe what I could, I could not doe whereby her loue to gaine.
Then thought I, out of doubt, as I a God fayne Manhood, so
This is transform'd Diana for some practise meant beloe.
A yeere was past, and I past hope through coyish chast denyall,
And yeat I could not but persist in quest of further tryall.
I met God Pryapus (for he, not Venus sonne, it is
Abuseth vs, This darteth Loue, That driues to lust amis)
Seest yonder Clowne? quoth Pryapus (not far-off was Loute
With neare a handsome rag, himselfe lesse handsome soole to snout,
Lesse wel-form'd, or more il-fac'st, & like Clenchpoope looke & lim,
Lesse mannerd, and worse gated than this Saturns-Eeue-made Slim,
God neuer made since God made Man, if euer God made him.)
That Lob, quoth he, and yonder Lasse that this way driues her Gotes
Do marke them, Pan, you may obserue frō them vnthought of notes.
I knew her for my Minion wench of whom I earst did tell.
First blend they heards, and forthwith lips, and after billing fell
To other sport, such sport ywis as would haue lik't me well.
Must I, thought I, giue ayme to such a skrub and such a Saint,
That Skowndrell, and this Counterfeit: confounded so I faint.
How cheere you Pan, quoth Pryapus, the shameles God of lust,
Thus can I fit such friends as you with such a Trull of trust:

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(We were indeed ere then at odds,) So Priapus he left me,
When he had brought me to this sight that neere of sense bereft me.
But thus I loathed where I lou'd, and learned, not too late,
That coyest are not chastest, that the gayest Females mate
With Loutes as soone as Lords, that Loue is lucke not shiftles fate,
That cowled, celled, he, or she, whoso, or wheresoeuer,
Or Votarie, or Secular, scarse one pryaped neuer.
To Pans report did Mercurie replie and thus recite,
Of Cupid and of Priapus doth Pan distinguish right:
But let be Lust, a word or two of Loue and of his might.
I entring Guest-wise on a time the frolicke Thæbane Court,
Mine eye presented to mine heart a Nymph of louely Port:
Her knew I not, nor knew she me, vnknowne therefore vnkist
I loyter on the Earth, meane while in Heauen not vnmist.
My Senses held a Synode, and vnacted Acts dispute,
And nothing els I did affect but to effect my sute:
For, whensoeuer Loue proceedes, or whatsoere it be,
Or whosoeuer loueth, Loue tormenteth in degree.
Mine Eye conuaid it to mine Heart, mine Heart controwld mine Eye,
Yeat Loue retrin'd it selfe, I lou'd not knowing whom or why.
Then did I seeke, and finde (who am no Milksop as ye wot)
Acquaintance in the Court, the which the nicest balked not:
Nor smally did my shape, my tongue, and tunes (no common geere)
Preferre their Master to a place about their Mistresse neere.
When she did sigh then I did sob, I laught if she did smile,
And by officious Forgeries pretended to begile.
But her, not coy, I found so chast, as saue a kisse or twaine,
I nothing got, although in all I vained to her vaine.
From ill therefore I grew to worse, from worse to worse, for why?
Through ouer-louing at the length I loued ielously.

155

My Stomacke left me, euery sense had imperfection then,
My colour ceast and, sicke, I forge contrary cause to men.
So many Quames came ore mine heart as newes to eare or eie
Of others commoning in sport, or courting' seriouslie,
No Corsiue to Coriuals, and no death vnto despaire:
I did not hope, yeat held I on with cost to nourish care.
Sometime, attyred by the booke, I faind a merrie cheere:
Sometime I drouped, and did weare disordredly my greere.
But how-soere I came to her, I found her still the same,
Gamesome enough to intertaine, and yet for me no game:
And though enuiously I aym'd at others better speede,
Yeat, too precisely, did I sift such doubts were more than neede.
Then rowsing vp my selfe, I with my selfe did reason thus:
No folly were in Loue, if so no folly were in vs.
Wheare Mercurie is layd a sleepe may others lay a straw:
The Louer and Beloued are not tyed to one Law:
Because I am the same I am should shee not therefore bee
The same she is: mine is too loue, but hers to disagree.
Then Mercurie be to thy selfe, thy selfe these thoughts begile
With meeter thoughts, thou lingerest in losse too long a while.
Thinke not thy greatnesse, or thy gifts, or gracious eyes may get her:
A Foole more foule may seeme more faire, Loue may thinke bad the better.
If she determine Chastitie, then falls thy sure to ground:
Or if some other be preferd, then better lost than found:
Likte, or misliked, to thy Loue should reason be the bound.
Or Women loue to be belou'd of chaunge of Clyents, or
Vncertaine wheare to find them, with the Eagle or the Dorr.
Albeit Beautie mooues to loue, and Loue doth make thee sue,
Better at first be Non-sute, than at length not to subdue.
Such Reasons seeming plausible, I fleeting whence I loued,
By absence and new Exercise old Passions were remoued.
So did I loue, and so I left, so many a skorne, and skoffe,

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Care, cost, disgrace, and losse of time were and may be cut off,
And women so lesse stand aloofe, when men can so be wise,
So lesser sute hath lucklier spcede, than to be too precise.
Our owne intemprature doth worke in vs our owne vnrest,
And Beautie, Loue, and women fault but as fault beeings best.
So helpe me Iupiter, (quoth Mars) in Loue so may I speede,
As Mercurie and Pan doe erre in poynts of Loue indeede.
Precisians and plaine Plodders (such is This, and so is That)
In Loue doe swallow Cammels, whilest they nicely straine a Gnat.
Why what be Women? Women, geld the latter sillabell,
Then are they nothing more then Woe, their names remaine doth tel.
Their yea, or no, euen when they sweare they loue or loue vs not,
Beleeue who list, soone be they gone, as sodainly are got.
What neede we creepe the Crosse to giue vnto a begging Saint?
Tush tush, a Flye for booke-Loue, none be fortunate that faint.
Not paper, pursse, or kerchiefe Plea lets Fancie sooner loase
Then at the Shrine to watch the Saint, She is not coy, but cloase:
Pollitians know to cheapen, what to offer, when to skoase.
The Clowne, no doubt, that potted Pan lackt Art to glose and flatter,
And yeat nor Pan nor Mercurie went roundlier to the Matter:
He found right Methode (for theare is a Methode, time, and place,
Which fooles obseruing, do cōmence ere Wisemē haue their grace.)
Though dastard Hawkes do sore aloft and dare not seaze vpon,
Or Bussards-like doe sit aloofe vntill the game be gon,
Kinde killing Hawkes but wag the wing, and worke to sowse anon.
Once Loue, surreuerence, made my selfe vaile Bonnet, So submis
My ceremoniall wooing was, as common wooing is:
With rufull lookes, sighes, sweete Pigsnye, and Fooleries more than few
I courted her, so much more stout by how much more I sew:
Till aptly singled, as it hapt, I say not what did hap,
But loue that late did load my Head, did load her willing Lap.
Nor this Lad Loue of that same Loue is guiltie any whit,

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For why? nine Moones did wexe and waine betweene his birth and it.
Alas, poore Boy, before he was, Loue was a common game,
The first-made Man, the Rib-rest Man in Eden, shewd the same:
For when his sudden eyes admir'd the boan-flesht faire Conuart
Deriued from his Side, his tongue, directed by his hart,
Foorth with pronounced Women, but a moment earst vnknoen,
So deare as flesh of his owne flesh, and bone of his owne boen:
Quit them, ye Gods, this Lad, and let your search of Loue alone,
Who will in power be felt of all, in person found of none.
Or rather is not reall, but some Fansie: if not, then
Fantasticall in Women, but essentially in Men.
If Loue be such in Women (But mistake me not, for whie?
I note them but fantasticall in fault of Destinie)
Deferre were then to erre: When all is done that doe we may,
Labor we sorrowing all the night, and sewing all the day,
The female-faultie Custome yeelds lesse merit greatest pay,
And ventrous more then vertuous meanes doth beare the bell away.
But now to Venus (worthie such a Pheere, not such a Foe)
Vulcan, me thinkes, obserueth well slight proofe in yea and noe,
The Court therefore is well aduis'd to Sentence not to groe.
The Gods, that did ere while but ayme at Vulcans wiues sonnes Father,
Saw Venus blush, and held that aime autentical the rather.
Ende Gods and Goddesses, quoth Ioue, to argue to and fro,
Like good and bad is either Sex: Nay more, behold, than so,
I viewd erewhile the Destenies, and thence I thus did know.
Zimois, when Troy must perish, shall send downe her Floods a Fleete,
And world it were our Father ruld when Create thought him vnmeete:
But long time hence, & farre Starres thence, that World shall world an Ile
Enuyrond with the Ocean waues, then famous in short while
Through often Triumphes ouer Foes, and Traffike euery wheare,
Howbeit thrice orerunne, and once a Conquest shall be theare.
Those Changes notwithstanding they a People shall remaine
Vnchased thence, and of that Streene shall Fiue at length re-raigne.

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Dread, terrrene Gods, the Fist of those, a terrene Goddesse, She
Euen at the firie Trigon shall your chiefe Ascendant be:
Right Phœbe-like (Phœbe may like a Compeere like to her)
Retriue her Name, heere named, to time the tryall we refer.
This sayd, he bids adiorne the Court, and willed Mercurie
Thencefoorth not to conuent the Gods for such a Foolerie,
As Loue, the idle Bodies worke, and Surfet of the Eie.
Thus did the Queene and Tuder chat: But thought of nothing lesse
Then that from them Ioues noted fiue, fated to such successe,
Should spring, as sprong, and part springs yet. But cease we to digresse
And shew we how her Sonne did long and lucklesse Raigne possesse,

CHAP. XXXII.

It rests, fifth Henries Sonne, that made the Henries more by one,
Did in his Infancie possesse his conquering Fathers Throne,
And happely was rulde a Child, & rulde an happie man,
Till with his Parrasites his Peeres and hee with them began
A bloodie quarrell: offering so vnto the Yorkest, spright
For to reclaime, in bold attempts, their discontinued right.
Richard Plantagenet, the Duke of Yorke, by Warwickes ayde,
Did get the Goale, not long enioy'd, for he in Armes decayde,
Subdued by King Henries Queene, when as by friends and force
He had in Parlament obtaynde in euery clause his corse.
For, mounted thear the Kingly Throne, that Yorkish Heros sayd,
Here should I speake, and shall I hope: and so his Claime conuayd

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From Clarence his Progenitor, with reasons such amoung,
As, he Protector of the Realme, King Henries heires were wrung
From all Reuersion: hearts and eares did so applaud his toung.
Edward his Sonne, then Earle of March (the Duke his Father slaine)
Wonne, by the Earle of Warwickes ayde, in double battell Raigne.
King Henry fled to Scotland, and the Queene and Prince their Sonne,
From France sollicet Succors, which vnto their losse they wonne.
Henry was taken, they and their Confederates were subdu'd:
Yeat still the Queene escaped, and she armour still pursu'd.
But, Warwicke pleased, all attempts did faile to Edwards Foes,
Displeased, Edward fayled, and declined Henry rose:
He crowned Either, and the same discrowned them againe.
Admyrd of all, belou'd of all, howbeit lastly slaine
By Edward, whilst he did vphold vnchauncie Henries Raigne.
So Warwicke perisht, Henry so refalne from kingly state
Was reimprison'd, & his Queene did land her aydes too late:
But, landing, when of Barnet field she heard the luckles fate,
(Albeit Knights Lancanstrians store did flocke in her defence)
She stoode a second Niobe, bereft of speech and sence:
And whilst the Duke of Somerset, an ouer-hardie Knight.
Did brauely marshall out her force to ouer-matched fight,
Hers and King Henries Sonne, the Prince of Wales, a proper Lad,
In comforting his mother did continue her more sad.
Ah Sonne, quoth she, through oft mishhaps mishaps I can disgest,
I feare for thee, for thee the hope that to our House doth rest.
Now all are tryed we can trust, if now we faile we fall:
Thy death is in the same request as is thy Fathers thrall,
And (which I would it were the worst) the Foe doth thirst my life,
To end his Triumph in the deaths of Husband, Sonne, and Wife.
Though thy great-Grandsier, Grandsier, & thy Father wonne & wore
The King-ring, which thy Father hild yeares thirtie eight and more,
Though by the cappitall Remotes of Lancaster withstood,
Yeat fayle prescription and discents, now lacke they but our blood.

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Then learne against thou proue a man (ah hardly hope I so)
The Line Lancastrian naturally doth labour of that Foe.
The Queene, concluding thus in teares, did then to Armor goe.
Fierce was the Field, and either part did valiantly offend:
But, Edward ouercomming, when the Battell was at end,
The Queene was carried Captiue thence, And Edwards men did bring
Her Sonne the Prince (sole sonne, and heire vnto the captiue King)
Before the Victor, whose demaunds receiuing answers stout,
He thrusts the manly Boy from him, whom Glocester, about
The King (Churle that he was) did stab: (So tragicke was the spight
Betwixt those Linages that oft each others so requite.)
His death was more than death vnto his Parents, but not long
His Father moned vndispatcht alike for death and wrong,
By foresaid Duke of Glocester, of whom succeeds our song.
Thus won the Yorkestes ancient Raigne: sixe bloodie Fields did seate
Edward the fourth in Englands Throne, possest in much vnqueate.
He wonne his Subiects loue, and loue was debt to his desarts,
But, as must ours, so lastly his vn-bodied Soule departs.
He left his Kingdome to his Sonne, his Sonne to be protected
By Richard Duke of Glocester: Who, pietie reiected,
Grew treble-wise, tyrannicall, malicious to the blood
Of his deceased brothers Queene, And what so Yorkest stood
Betwixt the Scepter and himselfe, aliue, he pricked dead,
A Foe to all Lancastrians, as the same by nature bread.
This common Deaths-man of those Kinnes, and euery Nobles fall,
Whom he but gest Coriuall or might crosse him near so small,
This stoope-Frog AEsops Storke, alike tyrannous vnto all,
To giltie, giltlesse, friend, or foe, was not secure one day,
But Either dyes as eithers death might fit him any way.
Yea, euen whilst his Brother rulde, when all Lancastrians, and
His Brothers twaine, his Nephewes twaine, & Neeoes three did stand
Betwixt himselfe and home, euen then by blood he hunted Raine:

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For when his owne and ruthles hands King Henries heire had slayne,
Then Henries selfe (Henrie the sixt a giltles King, in bands)
He stabde: his brother Clarence dide thorough him, by other hands.
But, now Protector, as doe Wolues the Lambes, protected he,
And fared as if fearing that one wickedder might be.
Queene mother and her kindred hild the Orphant King a while.
Her Kinue hee murthred, and from her he got the King by gile,
Whom (though vncrowned, tituled fift Edward) reft his' mother,
He made be murthred, with the Duke of Yorke, the yonger brother,
When neither Yorkest his Allies, and of Lancastrians none
Were left to let it, who should let but he might leape the Throne?
He wore in deede the wrested Palme: But yeat, to better bad,
By murder of his wife, he sought new marriage to be had
With that Elizabeth that was the Eldest daughter to
Edward the fourth: But all in vaine the King his Neece did wowe,
For Henrie Earle of Richmonds friends such doings did vndoe.
Which Henry and Elizabeth by secrete Agents were
Contracted, he of Lancaster, and she of Yorke the heire:
Of which letigious Famelies heer mapped be the Lines,
Euen till the Heire of these two Heires both Stockes in one combines.

CHAP. XXXIII.

Heenrie (as if by myracle preseru'd by Forraines long
From hence-ment Treasons) did arriue to right his Natiues wrong:
And chiefly to Lord Stanlie, and some other Succors as
Did wish and worke for better dayes, the Riuall welcome was,
Now Richard heard that Richmond was assisted and on shore,

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And like vnkenneld Cerberus the crooked Tyrant swore,
And all complexions act at once confusedly in him:
He studieth, striketh, threats, intreates, and looketh mildly grim,
Mistrustfully he trusteth, and he dreadingly did dare,
And fortie passions in a trice in him consort and square.
But when, by his conuented force, his foes increased more,
He hastned Battell, finding his Coriuall apt therefore.
When Richmond orderly in all had battelled his ayde,
Inringed by his Compliees, their chearefull Leader sayde.
Now is the time and place (sweete Friends) and we the Persons be
That must giue England breath, or else vnbreath for her must we.
No Tyrannie is fabled, and no Tyrant was indeede
Worse than our Foe, whose workes wil, act my words, if wel he speede:
For ill to ills Superlatiue are easily intist,
But intertaine amendment as the Gergesites did Christ.
Be valiant then, he biddeth so that would not be out-bid
For courage, yeat shall honor him, though bace, that better did.
I am right heire Lancastrian, he in Yorkes destroyed right
Vsurpeth: But, through Either ours, for neither claime I fight,
But for our Countries long-lackt weale, for Englands peace I warre:
Wherein he speed vs vnto whom I all Euents refarre.
Meane while had furious Richard set his Armies in array,
And then, with lookes euen like himselfe, this or the like did say
Why, Lads, shall yonder Welchman with his Straglers ouer-match?
Disdaine ye not such Riualles, and deferre yee their dispatch?
Shall Tuder from Plantagenet the Crowne by craking snatch?
Know Richards very thoughts (he toucht the Diademe he wore)
Be mettall of this mettall: Then beleeue I loue it more
Than that for other law than Life to Supersead my Clame,
And lesser must not be his Plea that counter-pleads the same.
The weapons ouer-tooke his words, & blowes they brauely change,
When, like a Lion thirsting blood, did moody Richard range,

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And made large slaughters where he went, till Richmond he espied,
Whom singling, after doubtfull Swords, the valerous Tyrant died.
Thus ended Englands warre and woe, vsurping Richard dead,
When Henry and Elizabeth, vniting titles, wed:
Of which two Heires th' vndoubted Heire of either Line did cum,
The Epilogue vnto these wounds, digested in this sum.
Fourth Henry first Lancastrian King put second Richard downe:
Fourth Edward of the House of Yorke re-seazd sixt Henries Crowne:
Lad-Princes twaine were stabd in Field, of either Linage one:
Foure Kings did perish: Sundry times now-Kings anon were none:
Sixe, three of either faction, held successiuely the Throne:
But from the second Richard to seuenth Henry we pretend
Eight Kings this Faction to begin, continue, and to end.
The Princes, Earles, Barons, and Knights this quarrell did deuoure
Exceede the tale of Gentry best and bacest at this houre:
So plagueth ciuill Warre, & so from Robe to Ragge doth scoure.
Then luckiest of the Planets weare Predominants, say we,
When by this Bed-match either Heire that Bloud-mart did agree:
When Seuenth begot the Eight, and Eight the first and last for like
Our now Pandora: nor till her our humbled sailes we strike,
For should we at her Grandsier reare our Colome, yet too poore,
We could not write (as Hercules on his) Beyond no more:
For he lakct search, our Muse hath Kend an Ocean is in store,
Euen matter that importeth worth coparing all before.