University of Virginia Library

Scene Fourth.

—The Turquoise Bed Chamber—On one side a large window; an alcove in centre, closed by curtains.
Enter Prince and Quiver.
Prince.
The door has slamm'd to, and the bolt has shot to.

Quiv.
'Twas a fool's bolt soon shot.

Prince.
Where have we got to?

Quiv.
Where we've no business—in such queer concerns
One's only profit lies in quick returns.

Prince.
Peace! Lo, perchance, the object of my search.

(Prince Humpy undraws the curtains of the alcove, and discovers Queen Benignanta on a couch of state, as in the first scene)
Quiv.
A lady!

Prince.
Fast asleep too!

Quiv.
As a church!

Prince.
Madam! Ahem! She stirs not—gently shake her.

Quiv.
Not I—I'm much too wide awake—to wake her.

Queen.
(in her sleep)
My Transimenus.

Quiv.
Hark, sir!

Prince.
Silence, keep!
And listen—she is talking in her sleep.

Queen.
Monster, away!

Prince.
Monster!

Quiver.
That's not polite.

Prince.
Though fast asleep, she sees that I'm a fright.

Queen.
(in her sleep)
I'll never marry you.

Prince.
Ne'er marry me!
Stop till I ask you, ma'am!
(Queen rises and advances)
She rises! See!

Quiv.
What caper next is she about to cut—
Her eyes are open—

Prince.
But their sense is shut.

Quiv.
Why rubbing of her hands so does she keep?

Prince.
Because her very fingers are asleep.

Queen.
On the spot still—ruffian, my hand let go,
'Tis pledged to Transimenus. Oh! oh! oh!
Out, out, I say—out of the window fly.
An eagle, and afraid? Fie, my lord, fie!
One—two—nay, then, 'tis time that I should wake,
Come, bring the Golden Branch the spell to break.

(goes to a chair and sits)
Prince.
Did you mark that? She must be in a trance.

Quiv.
Perhaps she's in a state of clairvoyance.

Prince.
What's clairvoyance?

Quiv.
The art of seeing through
Those who're not sharp enough to see through you!

Prince.
But if they're fast asleep, what can they spy?

Quiv.
'Tis a magnetic sleep that's all my eye!
And if this lady's in that sort of trance, sir,
To any question she'll give you an answer.

Prince.
I'll put her to the question, then, instanter.
Who are you, ma'am?

Queen.
My name is Benignanta,
And of Arcadia I was once the Queen.

Prince.
Indeed! How long ago may that have been?

Queen.
Two hundred years.

Prince.
Two hundred years!

Quiv.
Oh, fie!
Asleep, how very fast some people lie!

Prince.
Two hundred years, ma'am, do you mean to say
You've been asleep here?

Queen.
Yes, sir, to a day.

Prince.
Your bed, methinks, you've lain quite long enough in,
Who tucked you up in it?

Queen.
The great Humguffin!

Quiv.
Humguffin!—what a name to go to bed with!

Prince.
And wherefore?

Queen.
For that him I would not wed with!

Prince.
No doubt some other suitor you preferred?

Queen.
Oh, yes!

Prince.
He's dead, of course,

Queen.
No—he's a bird!

Quiv., Prince.
A bird!

Quiv.
A precious old bird he must be!
No chaff could catch him to a certainty!

Queen.
Oh, no—he calls upon me every day.

Quiv.
A bird-call! (music)

Hark! those notes, no doubt, announce, sir,
His visit.
(the casement flies open, and the large Eagle seen in the first scene flies in, bearing the Golden Branch in his beak)
Zounds! an eagle, and a bouncer!

Prince.
At sight of him the Queen no word can utter!

Quiv.
The eagle, too, is in a precious flutter.

Prince.
What means that golden bough? I wish to know.

Quiv.
I wish he'd make another bow, and go.

Prince.
I have it!

Quiv.
What?

Prince.
Air—“O Fortune à ton caprice.”

Queen.
(starting up)
My Transimenus, stay!
(the Eagle flies out of the window)
Again he's flown.

Prince.
A very flighty lover you must own.

Queen.
Forgive a passion not to be suppressed,
My first words should have been to you addressed;
I thank you for your aid, sir, most sincerely.

Prince.
Don't mention it, I am too happy, really.

Queen.
You, for my benefit, have played a part—

Prince.
Which any gentleman must know by heart.

Queen.
I am a queen, who benefits can heap.

Prince.
You told me all your story in your sleep.

Queen.
How I was wooed by a vile necromancer,
A wretch who would not take “no” for an answer?

Prince.
The great Humguffin.

Queen.
Aye. Upon your word!
And how Prince Transimenus to a bird
Was changed, by a foul sorceress he hated?

Quiv.
The facts, in brief, your Majesty has stated.

Queen.
Then you shall hear the rest some other day,
For I am now impatient to repay
My obligations to you, which are heavy.

Prince.
Madam, I but assisted at your levee.

Queen.
(takes the branch)
You are too modest; pray some wish discover.

Prince.
I wish you were united to your lover,

Queen.
Nay, generous youth, you must not think of me
Before yourself. Say would you wish to be
As perfect in your person as your mind?

Prince.
Your Majesty is really very kind.
I can't admit my title to perfection,
In any wise; but still have no objection,
To come more near the human form divine,
For others' sake a great deal more than mine.

Queen.
Be handsome then as you are good and fearless,
No more Prince Humpy—you are now Prince Peerless.

(touches him with the Golden Branch—his deformities vanish)
Quiv.
Prodigious! Sir, permit me to inspect you?
You're grown so handsome none could recollect you.
Oh, madam, pardon me, but ere you go,
A boon, perhaps, on me you would bestow.

Queen.
For what am I indebted, pray, to you?

Quiv.
I did the looking-on part—

Queen.
Very true—
And in most offices it stands confest,
The lookers-on are often paid the best;
So name your wish, my friend, for I'm in haste.

Quiv.
I needn't tell a lady of your taste,
That in the way of personal attraction,
Nature has given me ample satisfaction.
My sole desire is to preserve intact,
This head and body, which the awkward fact
Of yielding to the Prince's supplication,
Exposes to a sudden separation.

Queen.
If of your whole request that is “the tottle”
Upon my toilet table stands a bottle
Filled with sulphuric ether, which if smelt
Some moments ere the fatal blow is dealt,
Your head beneath the sword or axe may fall
Without your feeling any pain at all!

Quiv.
Pardon me once again, most gracious Queen,
But that is not at all the thing I mean.
My head and body wish to stick together.
To sing—“How happy could I be with ether,”
Is not my object—I should be quite loth
To part with either—I would keep them both.

Prince.
Poor Quiver knows the temper of my father.

Queen.
Is King Brown so tyrannical then?

Quiv.
Rather—
About the edges—

Queen.
Come, then, both with me,
My guests awhile in Fair Arcadia be.

Prince.
With all my heart! But how are we to go?
Is there a railway?

Quiv.
There's a branch—

Queen.
Air—Queen—“Jenny Lind's Farewell.”

The scene changes to