University of Virginia Library

Scene Four.

—A Prison—The Queen of Hearts is discovered—attended by four of her Ladies, Maids of Honour, one of whom, kneeling, holds before her a miniature of the King, her late husband (a playing card in case).
Queen.
(advancing to the air of “Portrait Charmant”)
Yes, thou sweet image of my sainted lord,
By day I hold thee ever in my hand:
Night comes, and finds thee laid out in my crib!
Well I remember, I was sweet fifteen,
And you were fifteen too; ah, what a pair!
Made for each other; when your first fond suit
Brought a wild flush into my maiden cheeks,
Which counted, made you out. For years I wore thee
“Here, in my heart of hearts.” For years we pegged
At the same board together. Oh! my husband,
Now thou hast shuffled off thy mortal coil,
I have no heart to cut for partners more!
Enter the Knave of Hearts.
Ha! Can I trust my sight? Avaunt base knave—
Ruffian—rascallion—rebel—regicide—
Thief—coward—jackanapes—and jack-a-dandy.
In short, thou everything but gentleman.

Kn. of H.
In short! That's personal; marry come up,
Shorts are the fashion; and Bob Short is called
A high authority! “In short,” forsooth!
Short-sighted lady, I'll be short with you.
I love you, and would take you for my bride.

Q. of H.
Take me! You take the Queen! You cannot do it.
I am a cut above you, sir, and sooner
Than I'd take you, and make myself the Jill of such a Jack,
I'd take the meanest spade, and dig my grave with it.

Kn. of H.
Indignant Queen—

Q. of H.
Impudent knave! talkest thou of love to me?

Kn. of H.
Air—Knave—“Is there a heart?”

Q. of H.
Honours! I never reckoned upon thine, be sure.

Kn. of H.
Hear me in prose my ardent passion tell.

Q. of H.
Thy passion! thine! begone, or thou shalt find
Thy passion, saucy knave, a joke to mine!

Kn. of H.
Madam, I go. How's this? (aside)
The King of Spades.
So, so; fair Queen, you are his game to-day;
To mark the King, I'll play at écarté.

(conceals himself)
Enter the King of Spades.
K. of S.
How fares our fairest prisoner of war?

Q. of H.
With the humility which best befits
Our sad condition, briefly we reply,
We're none the better, sir, for seeing you.

K. of S.
Most captivating captive, we in turn
Do wear your chains; so we have cut the pack,
And slipped away to pay our duty here:
See at thy feet a spade—

(kneeling)
Q. of H.
A rake you mean.

K. of S.
Well, be it so; thou art the mould of form!
And I propose—

Q. of H.
And I refuse—

K. of S.
Hard heart!
Before thou knowest what.

Q. of H.
Air—Queen—“My heart with love is beating.”

K. of S.
Never! Beware the sequence; you have ruffed me
When leading from my weakest suit; but now
I'll change it, Queen, and play a forward game!

(seizing her)
Q. of H.
I'll call a card. Help! help!

Knave of Hearts, who has slipped out, returns with the Queen of Spades.
K. of S.
The Knave of Hearts! my wife too! I've misdealt,
And lost the game by it.

Q. of S.
So, sir, I've caught you.
What! fling down your own hand, and take up Miss
Before my face!

K. of S.
It was amiss, I own; but I repent,
And ask my partner, “can you one”—forgive?

Q. of S.
Your partner scorns to answer; you have scored
A point that honours do not count at.

K. of S.
Nay,
That's nine, you know, and we are but at sixes
And sevens; all may yet be well.

Q. of S.
Away!

K. of S.
Slight of hand! I'll not bear this!
Spades are still trumps, and I of Spades am King,
And the last player too; the trick is mine:
So, madam, as you choose to say we're nine,
I'm out by cards. What, ho! there! take 'em up:
I'll make a brulé of 'em all!

The Ghost of the King of Hearts appears.
K. of S.
(starting)
Mother-o'-pearl! What carte-blanche have we here?

Ghost.
I am the ombre of the King of Hearts.

Q. of H.
My husband!

Kn. of H.
My late King!

K. of S.
Avaunt and quit my sight—let the earth hide thee!
There is no speculation in those eyes
That thou dost glare withal!

Ghost.
I do not play
At speculation.

Kn. of H.
(aside)
No; he plays at fright.

K. of S.
What game is now a-foot?

Ghost.
Whist! whist! oh whist!

K. of S.
Whence comest thou?

Ghost.
From a—hem!
A Pandemonium—a shocking place
At the court-end of the town.

K. of S.
And what thine errand?

Ghost.
I have come to warn you;
You have revoked—

K. of S.
Poh, poh!

Ghost.
I say you have.
A heart was led; and when you trumped this trick
My Queen was in your hand.

K. of S.
I care not. I—I'll not give up a point.

Ghost.
Then D. I. O.

Q. of H.
Oh! say before you go
Two words of comfort to your wretched wife.

Ghost.
Red wins.

(the Ghost disappears)
Q. of H.
Ah, tyrant! hearest thou that? red wins!

K. of S.
Red wins! red shall not win—that ghost shall lie
In the Red Sea!—What, ho! My guards here!
Without there!

Concerted Piece—“Piano Pianissimo,” from the “Barber of Seville.”
Knave of Hearts, Queen of Hearts, and Queen of Spades.
Piano Pianissimo:—Keep within bounds.
For such high airs you have no grounds.

All But King.
Of the sequence pray take heed, sir,
Such vile play can ne'er succeed, sir!
Fate will soon return your lead, sir—
Conscience won't be mute!—
And you'll rue the day, indeed, sir,
You refused your partner's suit!

King.
Silence! Silence! Cease your bawling;
By the heels I'll lay you sprawling;
For a new deal Vengeance calling
Makes me deaf to Pity's suit.