University of Virginia Library

ACT III.

Enter Rob. Goodfellow with his head broken
Rob.
The Devil himself take all such Dames for me
Zounds, I had rather be in hell than here;
Nay let him be his own man if he list,
Robin means not to stay to be used thus,
The very first day in her angry spleen,
Her nimble hand began to greet my Eares
With such unkind salutes as I ne're felt;
And since that time there hath not past an hour
Wherein she hath not either rayl'd upon me,
Or laid her anger's load upon my limbs;
Even now for no occasion in the world,
But as it pleas'd her Ladiship to take it,
She gate me up a staff and breaks my head;
But I'le no longer serve so curs'd a Dame,
I'le run as far first as my leggs will bear me:
What shall I do? to Hell I dare not go!
Untill my Master's Twelve months be expired.
And here to stay with Mistress Marian,
Better to be so long in purgatory.
Now farewell Master, but shrewd Dame fare il
I'le leave you, though the Devil is with you still.
Ex. Robin.

Enter Mariana alone chafing.
Mar.
My heart still pants within; I am so chaf't,
The Rascal slave my man, that sneaking Rogue
Had like to have undone us all for ever;
My Cozen Musgrave is with Honorea,
Set in an Arbour in the Summer Garden,
And he, forsooth, must needs go in for hearbs,
And told me further, that his Master bid him;
But I laid hold upon my Younker's pate,
And made the blood run down about his ears,
I trow he shall ask me leave ere he go;
Now is my Cozen Master of his Love,
The Lady at one time reveng'd and pleas'd:
So speed they all that marry Maids perforce;
Enter Castiliano.
But here my Husband comes.

Cast.
What Dame alone?

Mar.
Yes Sir, this once for want of company.

Cast.
Why, where's my Lady, and my Cozen Musgrave?

Mar.
You may go look them both for ought I know.

Cast.
What, are you angry Dame?

Mar.
Yea, so it seems.

Cast.
VVhat is the cause I prethee?

Mar.
VVhy would you know?

Cast.
That I might ease it, if it lay in me.

Mar.
O, but it belongs not to your trade.

Cast.
You know not that.

Mar.
I know you love to prate, and so I leave you.
Exit Mar.

Cast.
VVell, go thy way; oft have I raked hell
To get a wife, yet never found her like:
VVhy this it is to marrie with a Shrew.
Yet, if it be, as I presume it is,
There's but one thing offends both her and me,
And I am glad if that be it offends her.
'Tis so no doubt, I read it in her brow,
Lord Lacy shall, with all my heart, enjoy
Fair Honorea, Marian is mine;
VVho though she be a Shrew, yet is she honest;
So is not Honorea, for even now,
VValking within my Garden all alone,
She came with Musgrave, stealing closely by,
And follows him that seeks to flye from her;
I spied this all unseen, and left them there;
But sure my Dame hath some conceit thereof,
And therefore she is thus angry, honest Soul:
VVell, I'le streight hence unto my Lord of Kent,
And warn him watch his wife from these close meetings.
VVell Marian, thou livest yet free from blame,
Let Ladies go, thou art the Devil's Dame.
Exit Castil.

Enter the Devil like Musgrave with Honorea.
Musg.
No Lady, let thy modest vertuous life
Be alwaies joined with thy comely shape,
For Lust ecclipseth Nature's ornament.

Hon.
Young heady Boy, think'st thou thou shalt recall
Thy long made Love, which thou so oft hast sworn?
Making my Maiden-thoughts to dote on thee.

Musg.
With patience hear me, and if what I say
Shall jump with reason, then you'l pardon me:
The time hath been when my Soul's libertie
Vow'd servitude unto that heavenly face,
VVhilst both had equal libertie of choice:
But since the holy bond of marriage
Hath left me single, you a wedded wife,
Let me not be the third, unlawfully
To do Earle Lacy so foul Injurie;
But now at last,

Hon.
I would that last
Might be thy last, thou Monster of all men.

Musg.
Hear me with patience.

Hon.
Cease, I'le hear no more;
'Tis my Affection, and not Reason speaks;
Thou Musgrave turn the hardness of thy heart,
And now at last incline thy love to mine.

Mus.
Nay now I see thou wilt not be reclaim'd,
Go and bestow this hot love on the Earle,
Let not these loose affects, thus scandalize
Your fair report; go home and learn to live
As chaste as Lucrece, Madam so I leave you.

She pulleth him back.
Hon.
O stay a little while, and hear my tongue
Speak my hearts words, which cannot choose but tell thee,
I hate the Earle, only because I love thee.
Exit Musgrave.
Musgrave return, hear Honorea speaks:
Disdain hath left him wings to flye from me,
Sweet Love lend me thy wings to overrake him,
For I can stay him with kind dalliance!
All this is but the blindness of my fancy.
Recall thy self: let not thy honour bleed
VVith the foul wounds of Infamie and Shame:
My proper Home shall call me home again,
VVhere my dear Lord bewailes as much as I,
His too much love to her that loves not him.
Let none hereafter fix her maiden love
Too firm on any, lest she feel with me,
Musgrave's revolt, and his unconstancy.

Exit.
Enter Forrest with Marian.
For.
Tut, I'le remember thee, and streight return,
But heres the Doctor.

Mar.
Where? Forrest, farewell,
I would not have him see me for a world.

For.
Why? he is not here, well now I see you fear him.

Mar.
Marry beshrew thee for thy false alarum,
I fear him? no, I neither fear nor love him.

For.
But where's my Lady, she is gone home before,
And I must follow after, Marian farewell.

Mar.
I shall expect your comming.

For.
Presently, and hearest thou Marian, nay it shall be so.

He whispereth in her ear.
Mar.
O Lord, sir, you are wed I warrant you,
We'le laugh, be merry, and it may be kis,
But if you look for more, you aime amiss.

For.
Go to, go to, we'le talk of his anon.
Exit. Forrest.

Mar.
Well go thy way, for the true heartedst man
That livest, and as full of honesty,
And yet as wanton as a pretty Lambe;
He'le come again, for he hath loved me long,
And so have many more besides himself:
But I was coy and proud, as Maids are wont,
Meaning to match beyond my mean estate,
Yet have I favoured youths, and youthful sports,
Although I durst not venture on the main;
But now it will not be so soon espy'd.
Maids cannot, but a wife a fault may hide.
Enter Nan.
What Nan!

Nan.
Anon forsooth.

Mar.
Come hither Maid,
Here take my keyes, and fetch the galley pot,
Bring a fair Napkin, and some fruit dishes,
Dispatch and make all ready presently,
Miles Forrest will come streight to drink with me.

Nan.
I will forsooth.
Exit Nan.

Mar.
Why am I young, but to enjoy my years?
Why am I fair, but that I should be loved?
And why should I be loved, and not love others?
Tut, she is a fool, that her affection smothers:
'Twas not for love I was the Doctor's wife,
Nor did he love me when he first was mine;
Tush, tush, this Wife is but an idle name,
I purpose now to try another Game.
Art thou return'd so soon! O 'tis well done.
Enter Nan with the Banquet
And hearest thou Nan, when Forrest shall return,
If any happen to enquire for me,
Whether't be Captain Clinton, or Ralph Harvey,
Call presently, and say thy Master is come,
So I'le send Forrest o're the Garden pale.

Nan.
I will forsooth.

Mar.
Mean time stay thou and make our banquet readie,
I'le to my Closet, and be here again,
Before Miles Forrest shall come visit me.
Ex. Mar.

Nan.
I wonder what my Mistriss is about,
Somewhat she would not have my Master know;
What e're it be, it's nothing unto me,
She is my good Mistriss, and I'le keep her Counsell,
I have oft seen her kiss behind his back,
And laugh and toy when he did little think it:
O what a winking eye the Wanton hath
To cozen him, even when he looks upon her.
But what have I to do with what she doth?
I'le tast her Ionkets, since I am alone,
That which is good for them, cannot hurt me,
I marry this is sweet, a cup of Wine
Will not be hurtfull for disgestion.

Ent. Cast.
Cast.
I would I had been wiser once to day,
I went on purpose to my Lord of Kent,
To give him some good counsell for his VVife,
And he, poor Heart, no sooner heard my newes,
But turns me up his VVhites, and falls flat down;
There I was fain to rub and chafe his veins,
And much ado we had to get him live;
But for all that he is extremely sick,
And I am come in all the hast I may
For Cordials to keep the Earle alive:
But how now, what a Banquet what means this?

Nan.
Alass my Master is come home himself:
Mistriss, Mistriss, my Master is come home,

He stops her mouth.
Cast.
Peace you young Strumpet, or I'le stop your speech:
Come hither Maid, tell me, and tell me true,
VVhat means this Banquet? what's your Mistriss doing?
Why cam'st thou out, when as thou saw'st me comming?
Tell me, or else I'le hang thee by the heels,
And whip thee naked: come on, what's the matter?

Nan.
Forsooth I cannot tell.

Cast.
Can you not tell: come on, I'le make you tell me.

Nan.
O Master! I will tell you.

Cast.
Then say on.

Nan.
No thing in truth forsooth but that she means
To have a Gentleman come drink with her.

Cast.
What Gentleman?

Man.
Forsooth 'tis Mr. Forrest as I think.

Cast.
Forrest! nay then I know how the Game goeth,
Who ever looseth I am sure to win
By their great kindness, though't be but the Hornes:
Enter Forrest at one door, Marian at another.
But here comes he and she, come hither Maid,
Upon thy life give not a word, a look,
That she may know ought of my being here;
Stand still, and do what e're she bids thee do.
Go, get thee gone, but if thou dost betray me,
I'le cut thy Throat, look to it, for I will do it;
I'le stand here close to see the end of this,
And see what Reaks she keeps when I'm abroad.

Mar.
'Tis kindly done Miles to return so soon,
And so I take it. Nan, is our Banquet ready?
Welcome my Love, I see you'l keep your word.

Nan.
'Twere better for yee both he had not kept it.

For.
Yea Mariana, else I were unworthy,
I did but bring my Lady to the door,
And there I left her full of melancholly,
And discontented.

Mar.
Why, 'twas kindly done,
Come, come sit down, and let us laugh a while.
Maid, fill some Wine

Nan.
Alass my Breech makes Buttons,
And so would theirs, knew they as much as I.
He may change the sweet meats, and put
Purging comfits in the Dishes.

Mar.
Here's to my Lady, and my Cozen Musgrave.

For.
I pray remember gentle Master Doctor,
And good Earle Lacy too among the rest.

Cast.
O sir, we find you kind, we thank you for it,
The time may come when we may cry you quit,

Nan.
Master, shall I steal you a cup of wine?

Cast.
Away you Baggage, hold your peace you Wretch.

For.
But I had rather walk into your Orchard,
And see your Gallary so much commended,
To view the VVorkmanship he brought from Spain,
Wherein's describ'd the banquet of the gods.

Mar.
I, there's one piece exceeding lively done,
Where Mars and Venus lye within a net,
Inclos'd by Vulcan, and he looking on.

Cast.
Better and better yet, 'twill mend anon.

Mar.
Another of Diana with her Nymphes,
Bathing their naked bodies in the streams,
Where fond Acteon, for his eyes offence,
Is turn'd into a Hart's shape, hornes and all;
And this the Doctor hangs right o're his bed.

For.
Those Hornes may fall and light upon his head.

Cast.
And if they doe, worse Luck, what remedy?

For.
Nay Marian, we'le not leave these sights unseen,
And then wee'le see your Orchard and your fruit;
For now there hangs Queen apples on the trees,
And one of them are worth a score of these.

Mar.
Well, you shall see them, least you loose your longing.

Exeunt Marian and Forrest.
Cast.
Nay, if ye fall alonging for green fruit,
Childe-bearing is not far of I am sure:
Why this is excellent, I feel the buds,
My Head groweth hard, my Horns will shortly spring,
Now who may lead the Cuckold's dance but I?
That am become the head man of the Parish:
O! this it is to have an honest wife,
Of whom so much I boasted once to day.
Come hither Minks, you know your Mistriss's minde,
And you keep secret all her villanies,
Tell me, you were best, where was this Plot devised?
How did these Villaines know I was abroad?

Nan.
Indeed forsooth I knew not when it was,
My Mistriss call'd me from my work of late,
And bad me lay a Napkin; so I did,
And made this Banquet ready: but in truth
I knew not what she did intend to do.

Cast.
No, no, you did not watch against I came,
To give her warning to dispatch her Knaves?
You cryed not out, when as you saw me come,
All this is nothing but I'le rouse you all.

Nan.
In truth good Master.

Enter Marian, Forrest.
Cast.
Peace I say, they come.
Whimper not, and you do, I'le use you worse:
Behold that wicked Strumpet with that Knave,
O that I had a pistoll for their sakes,
That at one shot I might dispatch them both:
But I must stand close yet, and see the rest.

Mar.
How like'st thou Miles my Orchard, and my House.

For.
Well, thou art seated to thy hearts content,
A pleasant Orchard, and a House well furnisht,
There nothing wants; but in the Gallary
The Painter shews his art exceedingly.

Mar.
Yet is there one thing goeth beyond all these,
Contented life, that giveth the Heart his ease.
And that I want.

One knocketh at the door.
For.
Sweet Love, adieu.
Ex. For.

Mar.
Farewell Sweetheart. VVho is that at the door?

Clin.
A Friend.

Enter Clinton.
Mar.
Come near. What Captain is it you?

Clin.
Even I, fair Marian watching carefully
The blessed step of opportunity.

Mar.
Good, good! how Fortune gluts me with excess!
Still they that have enough shall meet with more.

Clin.
But where's the Doctor?

Mar.
Ministring abroad
Physick to some sick Patients he reteins.

Clin.
Let him abroad, I'le minister at home,
Such Physick shall content my Marian.

Cast.
O monstrous! now the VVorld must see my shame,
This Head must bear whatever likes my Dame.

Mar.
I have no malladie requires recure.

Clin.
Why, then must I assume a sick man's part,
And all my sickness lyeth at my heart,
T'is the heart-burning that torments me so.

Marian.
There is no cure for fire but to be quench'd.

Clin.
Thou hast prescrib'd a soveraign remedy.

Cast.
O who the Devil made her a Physician?

Clin.
Let's not obscure what Love doth manifest,
Nor let a Stranger's bed make thee seem strange
To him that ever loved and honoured thee.

Mar.
A Captain made a Captive by loose Love,
And gadding Fancie; fie, 'twere monstrous shame
That Cupid's bow should blemish Mars his name;
Take up thy Armes, recall thy drooping thoughts,
And lead thy Troops into the spacious Fields.

Cast.
She counsels others well, if she would take it.

Clin.
Thou counsellest the blinde to lead the blinde;
Can I lead them that cannot guide my self?
Thou, Marian, must release my captive Heart.

Mar.
With all my heart, I grant thee free release.

Clin.
Thou art obscure too much: but tell me, Love,
Shall I obtain my long-desired Love?

Mar.
Captain, there is yet somewhat in thy mind
Thou would'st reveal, but wantest utterance;
Thou better knowest to front the braving foe,
Then plead Love suites.

Clin.
I grant 'tis even so,
Extremity of Passions still are dum,
No tongue can tell Love's chief perfections,
Perswade thy self my Love-sick thoughts are thine,
Thou only mayest those drooping thoughts refine.

Mar.
Since at my hands thou seek'st a remedy,
I'le ease thy grief, and cure thy malady;
No drugg the Doctor hath shall be too dear,
His antidote shall flye to do thee good,
Come in and let thy eye make choyse for thee,
That thou may'st know how dear thou art to me.

Exeunt Clinton, Marian.
Cast.
Is this obedience, now the Devil go with them,
And yet I dare not; Oh she's mankind grown!
O miserable men that must live so,
And damned Strumpets, Authors of this woe:
Enter Clint. Mar.
But peace! be still! they come! O shameless shame,
Well may the world call thee the Devil's dame.

Mar.
Captain thy skill hath pleased me so well,
That I have vowed my service to Bellona.

Cast.
Her service to Bellona! turn'd stark Ruffian!
She'le be call'd Caveleero Marian.

Clin.
And I will trayn thee up in feats of arms,
And teach thee all the orders of the field,
That whilst we, like to Mars and Venus, jest,
The Doctor's head may get a gallant crest.

Cast.
I can no longer linger my disgrace,
Nor hide my shame from their detested sight,
How now thou Whore, dishonour to my bed,
Disdain to Womanhood, shame of thy sex,
Insatiate monster, corizive of my Soul,
What makes this Captain revelling in my house?
My House! nay, in my Bed! you'l prove a Soul dier,
Follow Bellona, turn a Martialist!
I'le try if thou hast learnt to ward my blowes.

Mar.
Why how now man! is this your madding month?
What, sir, will you forbid me in good sort,
To entertain my friends.

Cast.
Your Friends, you Whore:
They are no Friends of mine, nor come they here:
Clinton avaunt, my House is for no such.

Mar.
Alass good sir, are you grown so suspicious,
Thus on no proofs to nourish jealousie;
I cannot kiss a man, but you'l be angry.
In spite of you, or who so else sayeth nay,
My Friends are welcome as they come this way,
If thou mislike it, mend it as thou may:
VVhat do you think to pin up Marian,
As you were wont to do your Spanish girles,
No sir, I'le be half Mistriss of my self,
The other half is yours, if you deserve it.

Clin.
What madness mov'd thee be displeas'd with me,
That alwayes us'd thee with so kind regard,
Did I not at thy first arrival here
Conduct thee to the Earle of London's house?

Mar.
Did I not, being unsolicited,
Bestow my first pure Maiden-love on thee?

Clin.
Did I not grace the there in all the Court,
And bear thee out against the daring Abbot?

Mar.
Did I forsake many young Gallant Courtiers,
Enamoured with thy aged Gravity?
Who now being weary of me, would'st disgrace me?

Cast.
If there be any Conscience left on earth,
How can I but believe these Protestations?

Clin.
Have I not alwaies been thy nearest friend?

Mar.
Have I not alwaies been thy dearest wife?

Clin.
How much will all the world in this condemn thee.

Mar.
At first I little fear'd what now I find,
And grieve too late.

Cast.
Content thee gentle Dame,
The nature of our Countrymen is such,
That if we see another kiss our Wives,
We cannot brook it: but I will be pleas'd;
For, will I, nill I, so me thinks I must:
And gentle Captain, be not you offended,
I was too hot at first, but now repent it:
I prethee gentle Dame forgive me this,
And drown all Iealousie in this sweet kiss.

Clin.
This shews your wisdom; on, I'le follow you.

Mar.
Well Doctor, henceforth never reake it scorn,
At my sweet Clinton's hands to take the horn.

Exeunt.