 | A Pleasant Comedy, called A Mayden-Head Well Lost |  |
Milleine
Forbeare my Lords for a few priuate words:
Faire Daughter, wee'le not chide you farther now,
Nor adde vnto your blushes: by our rude
Reproofes your faults are couered with these your sighes,
Since all your fire of lust is quencht in ashes.
Iul.
Durst I presume my Lord, to know
Whither you haue sent my sonne?
Mil.
I'le not haue it question'd.
I striue to salue thy honour, and thou seek'st
To publish thy disgrace: my study is
Where I may picke thee out a noble Husband,
To shadow these dishonours, and keepe thee
From the like scandall.
Iul.
Whom but Parmaes Prince.
Mil.
Oh name him not thou strumpet.
Iul.
I haue done.
Mil.
There's a Prince of noble hopes and fortunes,
The Prince of Florence: what if I sent to him
About a speedy Marriage? for I feare,
Iul.
Since I haue lost the name of Child,
I am a seruant now and must obey.
Enter Stroza and Lords.
Mil.
Stroza.
Str.
Your eare my Lord, 'tis done.
Mil.
Laid out?
Str.
To safety as I hope.
Mil.
What, and suspectlesse?
Str.
Vnlesse the silent Groue of Trees should blabe,
There is no feare of scandall, mantled close,
I left the sucking Babe where the next passenger
Must finde it needes, and so it hapned for
Some two yeares after,
Passing that way to know where 'twas become,
'Twas gone, and by some courteous hand I hope
Remou'd to gentle fosterage.
Mil.
My excellent friend,
For this wee'le bosome thee: your counsel Stroza,
Our Daughter's growne to yeares, and we intend
To picke her out a Husband, in whose issue
Her name may flourish, and her honours liue:
All Lords
Most carefully deuis'd.
Mil.
But where my Lords
May we prouide a match to equall her?
1 Lord
Ferrara hath a faire and hopefull Heire.
2 Lord
And so hath Mantua.
3 Lord
How do you prize the Noble Florentine?
1 Lord
In fame no whit inferiour.
2 Lord
But in state
Many degrees excelling: aime no further
Sir, if that may be accepted.
Duke
To Florence then wee'le streight dispatch Embassadours,
Stroza, bee't your care to mannage this high businesse.
How Parents loue descends: and how soe're
The Children proue vngratefull and vnkinde,
Though they deride, we weepe our poore eyes blinde.
Exeunt.
Enter Clowne gallant, and the Huntsman.
Clow.
Nay, nay, the case is alter'd with mee since you
saw me last: I was neuer in any hope to purchase any other
suite then that I wore yesterday; but now I can say Ecce signum,
the case is alter'd. Now euery begger comes vpon me
with good Gentleman, good Gentleman: when yesterday Gentlemen
would haue shun'd the way for feare I should haue
begg'd of them. Then comes another vpon mee with good
your Worship, good your Worship, then doe I double my fyles,
and cast him a single two-pence.
Hunt.
Sirrah, thou may'st thanke the Prince for this.
Clow.
Thou say'st true; for he hath chang'd our woodden
Dishes to Siluer Goblets: goodly large Arras that neuer yet
deseru'd hanging, he hath caus'd to be hang'd round about
the Chamber: My Lady and Mistresse, now my Lady and
Mistresse lyes ouer head and eares in Downe and Feathers:
well, if they be rul'd by me, I would haue them to keepe
their beds.
Hunt.
Why wouldst thou haue them lye a bed all day?
Clow.
Oh dull ignorant! I meane knowing how hard they
haue bin lodg'd in the Forrest; I would not haue them sell away
their beds, and lie vpon on the boords.
Hunt.
Oh now I vnderstand you sir.
Clow,
Ey, ey; thou may'st get much vnderstanding by
keeping my company: But Sir, does not the new Gowne
the Prince sent my Mistresse, become her most incomparably?
Hunt.
'Tis true: 'tis strange to see how Apparrell makes or
marres.
Right: for yeasterday thou wouldst haue taken me
for a very Clowne, a very Clowne; and now to see, to see.—
Enter Mother and the young Lady gallant.
Wife
Sirrah.
Clow.
Madam.
Lau.
To see if the Tayler that made your Gowne, hath
put ne're an M. vnder your Girdle, there belongs more to beaten
Sartin then sirrah.
Lau.
What thinke you Mother of the Prince his bounty,
His vertue, and perfection?
Wife
He's a mirrour, and deserues a name
Amongst the famous Worthies.
Lau.
Heighoe. Worthies.
Wife
Why sigh you?
Lau.
Pray tell me one thing Mother: when you were
Of my yeares, and first lou'd, how did you feele
Your selfe?
Wife
Loue Daughter?
Clow.
Shee talkes: Now, if shee should be ennamored of
my comely shape; for I haue (as they say) such a foolish yong
and relenting heart I should neuer say her nay, I should neuer
weare off this stand further off.
Lau.
Stand farther off sir.
Clow.
No, I'le assure your Ladiship 'tis beaten Sattin.
Lau.
Then take your Sattin farther.
Clow.
Your Ladiship hath coniur'd me, and I will auoide
Satan.
Lau.
Had you not sometimes musings, sometimes extasies,
VVhen some delicate aboue other
VVas present?
Wife
I aduise you curbe your sence in time,
Or you will bring your selfe into the way
Of much dishonour.
Lau.
And speake you by experience Mother? then
Should tempt me, or his bounty worke aboue
My strength and patience; pray Mother leaue vs neuer,
Lest that without your Company, my loue
Contending with my weakenesse, should in time
Get of't the vpper hand.
Wife
For this I loue thee.
Enter Clowne running.
Clow.
So hoe Mistris Madam, yonder is the Prince, and
two or three Gentlemen come riding vpon the goodliest Horses
that euer I set my eyes vpon: and the Princes Horse did
no sooner see me, but he weeighed and wagg'd his tayle: now
I thinking he had done it to take acquaintance of me, said againe
to him, Gramery Horse; so I left them, and came to tell
your Ladiship.
Lau.
Goe see them stabled, my soule leapt within me
To heare the Prince but named.
Enter Prince and Mounsieur.
Prince
Now my faire Friend.
Lau.
Your hand-mayd mighty Prince.
Prince
Looke Mounsieur,
Can she be lesse then Noble? nay deserues she
Thus habited, to be tearm'd lesse then Royall,
What thinkst thou Mounsieur?
Moun.
Faith my Lord,
I neuer loue a woman for her habite,
When Sir I loue, I'le see my loue starke naked.
Prince
Right courteous Lady,
Our bounty is too sparing for your worth,
Yet such as 'tis accept it.
Wife
Royall Sir,
'Tis beyond hope or merit.
I prithee Mounsieur,
A little complement with that old Lady,
Whilst I conferre with her.
Moun.
I thanke you Sir:
See, you would make me a sir Panderus,
Hee talkes with the old Lady.
Yet farre as I can see you, I will trust you.
Sweete Lady, how long is't—nay keepe that hand,
Since those fierce warres 'twixt Florence and great Millaine?
Nay that hand still.
Prince
And haue you ne're a loue then?
Lau.
Yes my Lord:
I should belye my owne thoughts to deny,
And say I had none.
Prince
Pray acquaint me with him,
And for thy sake I'le giue him state and Honours,
And make him great in Florence. Is he of birth?
Lau.
A mighty Duke-domes Heire.
Prince
How now my Lauretta?
I prithee sweete where liues he?
Lau.
In his Countrey.
Prince
Honour me so much
As let me know him.
Lau.
In that your Grace must pardon me.
Prince
Must? then I will. Is he of presence sweete?
Lau.
As like your Grace as one Prince to another.
Prince
Honour me so much then, as let me know him.
Lau.
In that excuse me Sir.
Prince
Thee, loue I will
In all things: wherefore study you?
Lau.
Why my Lord?
I was euen wishing you a mighty harme;
But pardon me 'twas out euen vnawares.
Prince
Harme? there's none can come from thee Lauretta,
Thou art all goodnesse, nay confesse it sweete.
Lau.
I was wishing with my selfe that you were poore:
Oh pardon me my Lord, a poore, a poore man.
Why my Lauretta?
Lau.
Sir, because that little
I haue, Might doe you good: I would you had
No, money, nay, no meanes: but I speake idly,
Pray pardon me my Lord.
Prince.
By all my hopes
I haue in Florence, would thou wert a Dutchesse,
That I might court thee vpon equall tearmes;
Or that I were of low deiected fortunes,
To ranke with thee in Birth: for to enioy
Thy beauty, were a greater Dowre then Florence
Great Duke-dome.
Enter Clowne.
Clow.
Oh my Lord, my Lord,
Are you close at it? and you too crabbed Age, and you the—
there's Rods in pisse for some of you.
Prince.
Now sir, the newes?
Clow.
Oh my Lord, there's a Nobleman come from the
Court to speake with you.
Prince.
Mounsieur, vpon my life 'tis some Embassadour.
Moun.
Good Sir make haste, lest I be challeng'd for you.
Prince.
No worthy Friend, for me thou shalt not suffer,
At our best leasur'd houres we meane to visite you;
Now giue me leaue to take a short fare-well.
Exeunt Prince and Mounsieur.
Lau.
Your pleasure is your owne,
To part from him I am rent quite asunder.
Clow.
And you can but keepe your leggs close,
Let him rend any thing else and spare not.
Exeunt.
Enter Florence and Lords with Stroza Embassadour.
Flo.
Speake the true Tenor of your Embassie.
Str.
If Florence prize the Duke of Millaines loue,
To mixe with him in consanguinity,
To strengthen both your Realmes: he make the proiect
To your faire Treaty, that your hopefull Heire
Shall with the Princesse Iulia his faire Daughter,
Be ioyn'd in Marriage; her large Dowre shall be
A spacious Duke-dome after his decease.
But which my Lord counts most, is a faire League
'Twixt your diuided Duke-domes.
Florence
We doe conceite you:
But for the Dowre you craue?
Str.
Ten thousand Crownes
By th'yeare.
Flo.
'Tis granted: onely our Sonnes consent
Is wanting: but see here, he wisht for comes.
Enter Prince and Mounsieur.
Prince
Mounsieur, what are those?
Moun.
Embassadours my Lord.
Prince
Whence are these Lords?
Duke.
From Millaine.
Prince
Their businesse Royall Sir?
Flo.
About a match,
Which if you't please, we highly shall applaud.
They offer you a faire and vertuous Princesse
Vnto your bed:
Prince
Vnto my bed my Lord?
I am not so affraide of spirits Sir,
But I can lye alone without a bed-fellow.
Flo.
'Tis the faire Princesse Iulia you must Marry.
Prince
Marry my Lord?
Flo.
I marry must you Sir,
Or you diuorce your selfe from our deare loue.
Prince
But is she faire?
Stro.
As euer Hellen was.
What, and as Chaste?
Stroza.
It were not Princely in you, Royall Sir,
To question such a Princesse Chastity;
I could haue instanc'd Lucrece.
Prince.
Would you had,
For both were rauisht.
Moun.
How's this my Lord?
They offer loue and beauty, which being both
So freely offer'd, doe deserue acceptance,
Stroza,
Your answere Sir?
Prince.
That I am yours:
The States; and if you please
So to dispose me, hers: what ere she be,
Come friend, I must impart my Loue this newes,
Or it will rend my heart.
Exit Prince.
Stroza.
I shall returne this answere.
Florens.
Faithfully
As we intend it: But you first shall taste
The bounty of our Court, with royall Presents
Both to the Duke your master, and the Princesse;
It done, prepare we for this great solemnity,
Of Hymeneall Iubilies. Fixt is the day,
Wherein rich Florens shall her pompe display.
Exeunt.
Enter Parma and a Lord of Millaine.
Parm.
Onely to you, of all the Millaine Peeres,
I dare expose my safety.
Lord.
In these armes
My Lord, you are Sanctuared.
Parm.
I doe not doubt it:
But I pray you tell me, since I left the Court,
How is my absence taken?
Lord.
Of the Duke,
With much distaste.
Parm.
But of the Princesse Iulia?
Full two Moneths
Shee kept her Chamber, grieuously distracted,
They say, meere griefe for your departure hence.
Parm.
Brauely manag'd,
The Duke I see was more kind to her fame,
Then to his prettie grand-childe; well Ile salt it all,
But what thinke you if after all I should
Send Letters to her, or Ambassadors?
I should not win her, for I know
Th'aue her heart in bondage.
Lord
Why worthy Prince,
Haue you not heard the newes: Shee hath beene offered
Vnto the Florentine, the match accepted,
And the Nuptiall day the tenth of the next Moneth.
Parm.
No more: Pray leaue mee Sir.
Lord.
I will: Pray Sir
Regard your safety.
Exit Lord.
Parm.
To bee married, Ruimus in vestitum semper,
I did neglect her, but being deni'd,
I doate vpon her beautie: Methinkes 'tis fit,
If I begot the Child? I wed the Mother:
The Prince, I pitie hee should bee so wrong'd,
And I the Instrument: Now helpe mee braine,
That neare was wont to fayle mee: 'Tis decreed
Something to Plot, although I faile to speede.
Exit Parma.
Enter Clowne, Mother, and Lauretta.
Clowne
I wonder you should bee so sad and melanchollie,
Ile lay a yeeres wages before hand Ile tell your disease,
As well as any Doctor in Florence, and
Let me but feele your pulse.
Lauret.
Away, you are a foole, and trouble vs.
Clowne
That's no matter whether I bee a foole or a phisitian,
If I loose, Ile pay, that's certaine.
Try the fooles counsell daughter, but bee sure
To forfit, and to pay.
Lauret.
Now sir, your skill.
Clowne
Nay, I must feele your pulse first, for if a Womans
pulse bee neere a place, I know there's few heere of my yeere:
but would bee glad to turne Doctors.
Lauret.
Now sir, you see I doe not smile.
Clowne
Nay, if it bee nothing else, Ile fetch that will cure you
presently.
Wife
Child I must chide you, you giue too much way
vnto this humour: It alters much your beautie.
Enter the Clowne.
Clowne
Oh young Mistris, where are you, the Prince,
The Prince.
Lauret.
Oh Mother, doe you heare the newes, the Prince,
The Prince is comming. Where is hee, oh where?
Clowne
Where is hee? Why at the Court; where should hee
bee? I did but doo't to make you smile: Nay, Ile tickle you
for a Doctor: Madam I haue a yeeres wages before hand.
Lauret.
Is hee not come then?
Clowne
No marrie is hee not.
Lawret.
My soule did leape within, to heare the Prince
But nam'd: It started euery ioynt.
Clowne
Nay Madam, the Prince is come.
Wife
Away, your foolerie's vnseasonable,
Weele not beleeue you.
Enter the Prince and Mounsieur.
Clowne
If you will not beleeue mee, will you beleeue these?
Lauret.
Welcome my Lord: And wherefore doe you sigh?
Prince
I sigh Lauretta, cause I cannot chuse.
Lauret.
Nor could I chuse, should you but sigh againe.
Ile tell thee Loue, strange newes: I must be married.
Lauret.
Married my Lord!
Prince
Why doe you weepe? You blam'd mee now for sighing:
Why doe you melt in teares? Sweet what's the cause?
Lauret.
Nay, nothing.
Prince
And as I told thee Sweete; I must bee married,
My Father and the State will haue it so;
And I came instantly to tell the newes
To thee Lauretta; As to one, from whom
I nothing can conceale.
Lauret.
Why should you grieue
For that? For I, my Lord, must haue a Husband too.
Prince
Must you? But when's the day?
Lauret.
When's yours my Lord?
Prince
The tenth of the next moneth.
Lauret.
The selfe same day,
And selfesame houre that you inioy your loue,
My Princely Husband I must then inioy.
Prince
But doe you loue him?
Lauret.
Not my selfe more deere.
Prince
How happie are you aboue mee faire friend,
That must inioy where you affect? When I
Am tide to others fancies: It was your promise
That I should know him further.
Lauret.
You shall see him
That day, as richly habited as the great
Heire of Florence: But royall Sir, what's shee
That you must bed then?
Prince
'Tis Iulia,
The Duke of Millaines daughter: Why change your Face?
Lauretta speakes to her selfe.
Lauret.
That shee that hates mee most should liue to inioy
Him I affect best: O my ominous fate,
I thought to haue hid mee from thee in these desarts,
But thou dost dogg mee euery where.
Shee Swounes.
Looke to her safety, not for the Crowne
Of Florence I would haue her perish.
Wife
Helpe to support her.
Exit with Mother and Clowne.
Prince
Oh Friend, that I should change my Royaltie
To weaknesse now: I doe thinke this lodge
A Pallace, and this Beautious Mayden-head
Of greater worth then Iulia.
Moun.
Come my Lord,
Lay by these idle thoughts, and make you ready
To entertaine your Bride.
Enter Parma disguised.
Parm.
The Prince, the Prince,
I come to seeke the Prince, and was directed
Vnto this place.
Prince
Thy newes.
Parm.
A Letter.
Prince
Whence?
Parm.
Reade, the Contents will shew you; their eyes are
from mee, and I must hence.
The Prince reades.
Prince
The Millaine Princesse is betroathed; deflowred,
Not worthy of your loue, beleeue this true
Vpon a Prince his word; when you shall bed her,
And find her flawd in her Virginitie,
You shall haue cause to thinke vpon his loue
From whom you had this caution;
But doe it with that Princely management,
Her honour bee not slandered: Hee that loues,
Admires, and honours you:
Where's hee that brought this Letter?
Moun.
Fled my Lord.
Prince
Poast after; bring him backe,
How now, the newes?
Moun.
Hee's fled vpon a milke white Gennet Sir,
Seeming t'outstrip the winde, and I—lost him.
Prince
Thou hast lost mee quite.
Moun.
What meanes this passions Sir?
Prince
Mounsieur reade there,
What will confound thee: Oh if shee bee vnchast!
Could they find none but mee to worke vpon.
Moun.
It confounds mee my Lord.
Prince
If shee bee Chast,
How shall I wrong her, to question her faire Vertues?
Moun.
Right.
Prince
But if shee bee not right? I wrong my Honor,
Which after marriage, how shall I recall?
Moun.
'Tis certaine.
Prince
Yes: Oh how am I perplext!
Come, Ile to Court,
Ile not bee sway'd: Were shee a Potent Queene,
Where Counsell fayles mee, Ile once trust to spleene.
Exeunt.
Enter the Clowne with his Table-bookes.
Clowne.
Let me see, the Prince is to bee married to morrow,
and my young Mistris meanes to keepe a Feast in the Forrest,
in honour of his wedding at the Court: Now am I sent as Caterer
into the City to prouide them victualls, which they charg'd
me to buy; no ordinary fare, no more it shall, and therefore I haue
cast it thus; First and foremost, wee will haue—(yes downe
it shall) we will haue a Gammon of Bacon roasted, and stufft
with Oysters; And sixe Black-Puddings to bee serued vp in
Sorrell-sops; A pickell'd shoulder of Mutton, and a surloyne
of Beefe in White-broth, so much for the first course. Now, for
the second, we will haue a Cherry-Tart cut into Rashers and
broyled; A Custard Carbonado'd on the coales; A liue Eele
with the hornes peering out of the pasty-crust. The morrall is,
because it is a wedding dinner.
Enter Stroza with another Lord.
Stro.
The ioyfull day's to morrow. Passe this plunge
And we are made for euer.
Clowne.
What, my old Polititian? hee that vndermin'd my
old Lady and my yong Mistris? now that I could find but one
stratagem to blow him vp; I would tosse him, I would blanket
him i'th Ayre, and make him cut an Italian caper in the Clouds:
These Polititians can doe more execution with a pen, in their
studies, then a good Souldier with his sword in the field, but he
hath spi'd mee.
Stro.
Thee friend I should haue knowne?
Clowne.
And you too, I should haue knowne, but whether for
a friend, or no, ther's the question?
Stro.
Thou seru'st the Generall Sforsa.
Clow.
I confesse it; but whether you haue seru'd him well, or
no, there hangs a Tale.
Stro.
How doth thy noble Lady, faire Lauretta?
They haue left Millaine long, reside they here
Neere to the City Florence?
Clow.
Some three miles off, here in the Forrest, not halfe an
houres riding.
Stro.
I pray thee recommend me to them both,
And say, It shall goe hard with mine affaires
But Ile find season'd houres to visit them.
Clow.
You shall not want directions to find the place, come
when you will, you shall be most heartily—poyson'd.
Stro.
Tell them, The newes that they are well
Is wondrous pleasing to me, and that power
I haue in Millaine is reseru'd for them,
To worke them into grace: I can but smile,
Now businesse calls me hence: farewell.
Exit.
Clow.
And behang'd, Mounsieur Stroza, whose description
My Muse hath included in these few lines;
And would shew well, crown'd with the combe of Cock:
His Face an Inne, his Brow a sluttish Roome,
His Nose the Chamberlaine, his Beard the Broome,
Or like New-market Heath, that makes theeues rich,
In which his Mouth stands iust like Deuills-ditch.
For I must about my market.
Exeunt.
| A Pleasant Comedy, called A Mayden-Head Well Lost | |