 | Memorials of Miss Catherine Maria Fanshawe |  |
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X. Speech of the Member for Odium.
Mr. Cobbett ask'd leave to bring in very soon
A bill to abolish the sun and the moon.
The Honourable Member proceeded to state
Some arguments us'd in a former debate,
On the subject of sinecures, taxes, vexations,
The army and navy, and old corporations.—
The heavenly bodies, like those upon earth,
Had, he said, been corrupt from the day of their birth;
With reckless profusion expending their light
One after another, by day and by night.
And what classes enjoyed it? The upper alone.
Upon such they had always exclusively shone;
But when had they ever emitted a spark
For the people who toil underground in the dark?
The people of England—the miners and borers,
Of earth's hidden treasures the skilful explorers,
Who furnish, by grubbing beneath like the mole,
All the iron and copper, the tin and the coal.
But their minds are enlightening; they learn every hour,
That discussion is knowledge, and knowledge is power.
Long humbled and crush'd, like a giant they rise,
And sweep off the cobwebs that darken the skies;
To sunshine and moonshine their duties assign,
And claim equal rights for the mountain and mine.
A bill to abolish the sun and the moon.
The Honourable Member proceeded to state
Some arguments us'd in a former debate,
On the subject of sinecures, taxes, vexations,
The army and navy, and old corporations.—
The heavenly bodies, like those upon earth,
Had, he said, been corrupt from the day of their birth;
With reckless profusion expending their light
One after another, by day and by night.
And what classes enjoyed it? The upper alone.
Upon such they had always exclusively shone;
But when had they ever emitted a spark
For the people who toil underground in the dark?
The people of England—the miners and borers,
Of earth's hidden treasures the skilful explorers,
Who furnish, by grubbing beneath like the mole,
All the iron and copper, the tin and the coal.
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That discussion is knowledge, and knowledge is power.
Long humbled and crush'd, like a giant they rise,
And sweep off the cobwebs that darken the skies;
To sunshine and moonshine their duties assign,
And claim equal rights for the mountain and mine.
Turn to other departments. High time to inquire
What abuses exist in air, water, and fire.
Why keep up volcanoes? that idle display!—
That pageant was all mighty well in its day;
But the reign of utility now has commenced,
And wisdom with such exhibitions dispens'd.
When so many were starving with cold, it was cruel
To make such a waste of good fire and fuel.
As for Nature—how little experience had taught her
Appear'd in the administration of water.
Was so noble a capital duly employed?
Or was it by few (if by any) enjoyed?
Pour'd on marshes and fens, which were better without,
While pasture and arable perish'd for drought.
When flagrant injustice so often occurs,
Abler hands must be wanted, and purer than hers.
Not to speak of old Ocean's insatiable needs,
Or of seas so ill plough'd they bear nothing but weeds.
What abuses exist in air, water, and fire.
Why keep up volcanoes? that idle display!—
That pageant was all mighty well in its day;
But the reign of utility now has commenced,
And wisdom with such exhibitions dispens'd.
When so many were starving with cold, it was cruel
To make such a waste of good fire and fuel.
As for Nature—how little experience had taught her
Appear'd in the administration of water.
Was so noble a capital duly employed?
Or was it by few (if by any) enjoyed?
Pour'd on marshes and fens, which were better without,
While pasture and arable perish'd for drought.
When flagrant injustice so often occurs,
Abler hands must be wanted, and purer than hers.
Not to speak of old Ocean's insatiable needs,
Or of seas so ill plough'd they bear nothing but weeds.
At some future day he perhaps should be able
To lay the details of their cost on the table.
At present, no longer the House to detain,
He'd confine his remarks to the subject of rain.
Was it wanted? A more economical plan,
More equally working, more useful to man,
In this age of improvement might surely be found,
By which all would be sprinkled, and none would be drown'd
He would boldly appeal to the nation's good sense,
Not to sanction this useless, enormous expense.
If the wind did but shift—if a cloud did but lower—
What millions of rain-drops were spent in a shower!
Let them burst through the shackles of wind and of weather,
Do away with the office of rain altogether.
Let the whole be remodelled on principles new,
And consolidate half the old funds into Dew.
Less than half was sufficient—the surplus applied
To steam and canals, would for commerce provide.
What on earth could be wanted that Dew would not give?
Refreshment and food for all creatures that live,
Just moisture enough to promote vegetation,
And supply the demands of this vast population;
For warmth would consummate what Dew had begun,
When clouds should no longer offuscate the sun.
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At present, no longer the House to detain,
He'd confine his remarks to the subject of rain.
Was it wanted? A more economical plan,
More equally working, more useful to man,
In this age of improvement might surely be found,
By which all would be sprinkled, and none would be drown'd
He would boldly appeal to the nation's good sense,
Not to sanction this useless, enormous expense.
If the wind did but shift—if a cloud did but lower—
What millions of rain-drops were spent in a shower!
Let them burst through the shackles of wind and of weather,
Do away with the office of rain altogether.
Let the whole be remodelled on principles new,
And consolidate half the old funds into Dew.
Less than half was sufficient—the surplus applied
To steam and canals, would for commerce provide.
What on earth could be wanted that Dew would not give?
Refreshment and food for all creatures that live,
Just moisture enough to promote vegetation,
And supply the demands of this vast population;
For warmth would consummate what Dew had begun,
When clouds should no longer offuscate the sun.
He hoped that the house a few minutes would spare,
While he offer'd some brief observations on Air.
To plain statements he must their attention beseech,
For he never had yet in his life made a speech.
Air called for its censure, nor should it escape,
Tho' skill'd to elude any tangible shape.
While he offer'd some brief observations on Air.
To plain statements he must their attention beseech,
For he never had yet in his life made a speech.
Air called for its censure, nor should it escape,
Tho' skill'd to elude any tangible shape.
Not the Sun, nor the Moon, nor Earth, Water or Fire,
Nor Tories themselves, when with Whigs they conspire,
Nor Churchmen, nor Statesmen, nor Placemen nor Peers,
Nor the Emperor Paul, nor the Dey of Algiers,
Were half so unjust, so despotic, so blind,
So deaf to the cries and the claims of mankind,
As Air and his wicked Prime Minister, Wind.
Goes forth the despoiler, consuming the rations
Design'd for the lungs of unborn generations.
What a waste of the Elements made in a storm!
And all this carried on in the teeth of Reform!
Hail, Lightning and Thunder, in volleys and peals,
The Tropics are trembling, the Universe reels!
Come Whirlwind and Huricane, Tempest, Tormadoes,
Woe, woe, to Antigua, Jamaica, Barbadoes!
Plantations uprooted, and sugar dissolv'd;
Rum, coffee, and spice, in one ruin involv'd;
And while the Caribbees were ruin'd and rifled,
Not a breeze reached Guiana and England was stifled.
The quality bad, and the quantity bare,
Our life's spent in taking or changing the Air!
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Nor Churchmen, nor Statesmen, nor Placemen nor Peers,
Nor the Emperor Paul, nor the Dey of Algiers,
Were half so unjust, so despotic, so blind,
So deaf to the cries and the claims of mankind,
As Air and his wicked Prime Minister, Wind.
Goes forth the despoiler, consuming the rations
Design'd for the lungs of unborn generations.
What a waste of the Elements made in a storm!
And all this carried on in the teeth of Reform!
Hail, Lightning and Thunder, in volleys and peals,
The Tropics are trembling, the Universe reels!
Come Whirlwind and Huricane, Tempest, Tormadoes,
Woe, woe, to Antigua, Jamaica, Barbadoes!
Plantations uprooted, and sugar dissolv'd;
Rum, coffee, and spice, in one ruin involv'd;
And while the Caribbees were ruin'd and rifled,
Not a breeze reached Guiana and England was stifled.
The quality bad, and the quantity bare,
Our life's spent in taking or changing the Air!
Rate all that exists at its practical worth—
Twas a system of humbug from Heaven to Earth!
These abuses must cease—they had lasted too long;
Was there anything right?—was not everything wrong?
The Crown was too costly, the Church was a curse;
Old Parliaments bad, Reform'd Parliaments worse;
All revenues ill manag'd, all wants ill provided;
Equality, Liberty, Justice derided.—
But the people of England no more would endure
Any remedy short of a Radical cure.
Instructed, united, a nation of Sages
Would look with contempt on the wisdom of ages;
Provide for the world a more just Legislature,
And impose an Agrarian law upon Nature.
Twas a system of humbug from Heaven to Earth!
These abuses must cease—they had lasted too long;
Was there anything right?—was not everything wrong?
The Crown was too costly, the Church was a curse;
Old Parliaments bad, Reform'd Parliaments worse;
All revenues ill manag'd, all wants ill provided;
Equality, Liberty, Justice derided.—
But the people of England no more would endure
Any remedy short of a Radical cure.
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Would look with contempt on the wisdom of ages;
Provide for the world a more just Legislature,
And impose an Agrarian law upon Nature.
| Memorials of Miss Catherine Maria Fanshawe | |