University of Virginia Library

THE NINETEENTH CENTURY.

FITZ HENRY, who goes with Arabella, was on hand as usual Sunday evening, when high words ensued between the two. Fitz Henry is a man of the period, and Arabella is a full-stop woman. We don't know how the trouble originated; but this is what was said by the twain:—

HE.—You told — you wouldn't go.

SHE.—If I did, I don't know myself.

HE.—Well, that's what he said.

SHE.—I ain't the girl to give myself away like that, you bet.

HE.—What would the galoot say it for, then? That's what's the matter.

SHE.—Because he found somebody soft enough to scoop it in, I guess.

HE (agonizingly).—Are you codding me, Arabella?

SHE (softening).—Why should I cod you?

HE.—I don't know why you should, when I love you bang up.

SHE (very softly).—Then, Hen, why should we let this rooster get us on our ear! If we are going to mind every liar that comes around, we are going to keep in hot water all the time; but, if we keep a stiff upper lip, they'll soon get tired of shooting off their mouths at us.

This view must have struck him favorably, as there was a sound of upper lips undergoing a strengthening process, preceded by a signification on his part to "paste the rooster back of the ear."

HE had gone up to her house with her from a shopping-excursion the other afternoon. While he was there, such a flood of tenderness came over him, that he impulsively dropped on his knees before her, and, giving her a glance that spoke volumes, huskily said, "I can no longer keep my feelings back. I love you. Oh! will you, oh! will you be"—

"—SHAD! ten cents!" rang out the clarion voice of a street-vender before the house.

She made a clutch for her handkerchief to cover up her emotion; but she was too late. The ludicrousness of the combined sentiments was too

much for her intellect, and she melted into a prolonged giggle. His face flushed scarlet; and, for an instant, he was too profoundly impressed to realize his position. Then he shot up on his feet, and, with a howl of rage, departed. Really, ought not more intelligent and more discriminating people to be employed on fish-wagons.