University of Virginia Library

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154

MADAME TALLEYRAND AND THE TRAVELLER.

The famous Talleyrand, who knew
The secret of avoiding execution,
And kept his head upon his shoulders, through
All the convulsions of the Revolution,
When heads were cropp'd by the prevailing powers,
Like cauliflowers,
Till they themselves endured the keen
Infliction of the Guillotine,
And made way for another faction,
To undergo the same reaction:—
This Talleyrand possessed a wife,
Selected in his humbler life,—

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155

A rich bourgeoise of homely breeding,
Neither bas bleu, nor femme savante,
But rather, as I freely grant,
Deficient in her general reading.

One day—'twas when he stood elate,
Napoleon's minister of state,—
Having invited to his house
Some literati to confer
With a great foreign traveller,
The husband thus addressed his spouse:—
“My dear, at dinner you will meet
A foreigner, a man of note.
These authors like that you should quote
From their own works; therefore, to greet
Our guest, suppose you learn by rote
A sentence here and there, that when
He prates, like other travell'd men,
Of his exploits on land and ocean,
You may not be completely gravell'd,

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But have at least some little notion
Of how, and when, and where he travell'd.
Take down his book, you'll find it yonder;
Its dull contents you need not ponder;
Read but the headings of the chapters,
Refer to them with praise and wonder,
And our vain guest will be in raptures,”

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157

The more to flatter and delight her,
When at the board she took her place,
The famous traveller and writer
Was seated by her side;—the grace
Was hardly said, or soup sent round,
'Ere with a shrug and a grimace,
Eager to show her lore profound,
A la Française, she raised her eyes,
And hands, and voice, in ectasies,—
“Eh, Monsieur Robinson, mon Dieu,
Voilà un conte merveilleux!
Ah, par exemple! it appals
The mind to think of your attacks
On those terrific cannibals,—
Those horrid savages and blacks,
Who, if they once had gained the upper
Hand, had eaten you for supper,
And so prevented your proceeding
With that sweet book I've just been reading.
Mais, quel bonheur! to liberate

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158

Poor Friday from the murd'rous crew,
And gain in your deserted state,
So lonely and disconsolate
A servant and companion too!”