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All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet

Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted

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Taylors Motto.
  
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Taylors Motto.

DEDICATED TO EVERY BODY.

Yet not to euery Reader doe I write,
But onely vnto such as can Read right:
And with vnpartiall censures can declare,
As they find things, to iudge them as they are.
For in this age, of Criticks are such store,
That of a B. will make a Battledore,
Swallow downe Camells, and at Gnats will straine,
Make Mountaines of small Molehills, and againe
Extenuate faults, or else faults amplifie,
According as their carping censures flye.
Such are within the Motto of I haue,
But though the gallant Gulls be ne'r so braue,
And in their owne esteeme are deemed wise,
I haue a mind their follies to despise.
There are some few that wil their iudgement season
With mature understanding, and with reason:
And call a spade a spade, a Sicophant,
A flatt'ring Knaue, and those are those I want.
For those that seeme to read, and scarce can spell,
Who neither point, nor keepe their periods well:
Who doe a mans inuention so be-martyr,
So hanging, drawing, and so cut and quarter,
Making good lines contemptible threed-bare,
To keepe my booke from such as those I care.
Adue. Iohn Taylor.

44

TAYLORS MOTTO. ET HABEO, ET CAREO, ET CVRO.

J HAUE, I VVANT, I CARE.

[_]

In this poem footnotes are anchored in the text. Where anchors and footnotes do not correspond, no attempt has been made to match them.

Is any man offended? marry gep
With a horse nightcap, doth your Iadeship skip?
Although you kicke, and fling, and wince and spurn,
Yet all your Colts-tricks will not serue your turne.
Vice hath infected you, 'gainst vertues force,
With more diseases then an aged horse;
For some of you are hide-bound greedily,
Some haue the yellowes of false Ielousie,
Some with the staggers, cannot stand vpright,
Some blind with Bribes, can see to doe no right,
Some foundred, that to Church they cannot goe,
Broke-winded some, corrupted breath doth blow,
Some hoofe-bound, some surbated, and some graueld
With trauelling, where they shuld not haue traueld,
Some are crest-falne through th'immoderate vice
Of gorgeous outsides, smoake, and drinke and dice,
And some are full of mallenders and scratches,
The neck-cricke, spauins, shouldersplat, and aches,
The ring-bone, quitter-bone, bots, botch, and scab,
And nauelgall, with coursing of the Drab.
The back-gall, light-gall, wind-gall, shackle-gall,
And last, the spur-gall, the worst gall of all.
A good sound horse needs not my whip to feare,
For none but Iades are wrung i'th'withers here.
And doe these Hackneyes thinke to runne on still,
(Without a bit or snaffle) as they will,
And head-strong prancing through abuses, dash,
And scape without a Satyrs yerking lash?
No, they must know, the Muses haue the might,
The vniust iustly to correct and smite,
To memorize victorious Vertues praise,
To make mens fame or shame out-liue their dayes;
To force iniustice (though it doe looke bigge)
With his owne nayles his cursed graue to digge:
T'emblaze the goodnesse of a man that's poore,
And tell the vices of an Emperour.
All this the Muses dare, and will, and can,
Not sparing, fearing, flattring any man.
And so dare I, (if I iust cause doe see)
To write, from feare, or hate, or flattry free,
Or taxing any in particulere,
But generall at all, is written here.
For had I meant the Satyre to haue plaid,
In Aqua fortis, I would whips haue laid,
And mixt my inke (to make it sharpe with all)
With sublimate, and Cockatrices gall,
Which, with a Satyres spleene, and fury fierce,
With the least ierke, would to the entrailes pierce,
And with a lash that's lustily laid on,
Would strip and whip the world, vnto the bone:
I know that none at me will spurne or kicke,
Whose consciences no villany doth pricke,
And such as those will in their kennels lye,
And gnar and snarle, and grumble secretly,
But with full mouth, they dare not barke or bite,
But fret within, with rancor and despight.
For why (before the world) I make a vow,
There doth not liue that male, or female now,
'Gainst whom I haue so much as is a thought,
Much lesse, against them are my Verses wrought.
This Motto in my head, at first I tooke,
In imitation of a better Booke:
And to good mindes I no offence can giue,
To follow good examples, whilst I liue:

45

For I had rather to abide detraction,
And be an Ape in any honest action:
Then wilfully into a fault to runne,
Though it before had by a King bin done.
I haue not here reuil'd against my betters,
Which makes me fear no dungeon, bolts, or fetters:
For be he ne'r so great, that doth apply
My lines vnto himselfe, is worse then I.
Smooth is my stile, my method meane and plaine,
Free from a railing, or inuectiue straine:
In harmelesse fashion here I doe declare,
Mine owne rich wants, poore riches, and my care,
And therefore at my wants let no man grieue,
Except his charges will the same relieue:
And for my Wealth (except a rotten Boat)
I neuer feard the cutting of my throat.
And those that for my cares doe enuy me,
Shall in them (if they list) great sharers be.
All my taxations are in generall,
Not any personall, or nationall:
The troubles now in France, I touch not here,
Nor of the Britaine Fleete before Argiere.
Nor of the forces that the Turke doth bring,
Against the Poland Kingdome and their King,
Of Count Buckoy, of Beth'lem, Gabor, or
Of Spinola, or any Ambassador,
Nor Denmarks King, nor of the Emperour,
Nor Netherlands great Nauigable pow'r,
Nor of Religious points my Muse doth chant,
Of Romish Catholicke, or Protestant:
Of Brownist, Hussite, or of Caluinist,
Arminian, Puritan, or Familist,
Nor against Corporation, trade, or Art,
My poore inuention speakes in any part.
And therefore Critticke, snarle, and snap, and hang,
If inwardly thou feele my Satyres fang:
Tis wisedome in thee, if thy spleene thou hide,
And mend thy selfe, before thy faults be spide.
Thus as I boldly haue begun to enter,
Couragiously I'l thorow the businesse venter.
 

If all trades falle; of VVaterman I will turne Farrier. I doe not thinke that any Horse-leech can blazon such a pedigree of marching maladies.

Et Habeo, I haue.

I haue a Soule, which though it be not good,
'Twas bought at a deare rate, my Sauiours Blood:
And though the Diuell continually doe craue it,
Yet he that bought it, hath most right to haue it.
I (with my foule) haue power to vnderstand,
The summe of my Creators great Command:
And yet I haue a Law within me still,
That doth rebell against his Sacred Will.
But though (through merit) I haue Hell deseru'd,
Through Mercy yet I haue a Heau'n reseru'd.
I haue a reason, which can diffrence make
'Twixt good and bad, to choose, and to forsake:
I haue a working, forward, and free will,
Wherewith I haue inclined to doe ill.
I haue a Conscience, which doth tell me true,
That for my sinnes the wrath of God is due:
And to relieue that Conscience terrifi'd,
I haue a Faith in Iesus Crucifi'd.
I haue a iudgement, by the which I see,
And iudge, how good and bad things diffrent bee:
And with iust Censure, I distinguish can,
The oddes beeweene a monster and a man.
But when with iudgement on my selfe I looke,
I straightwayes am with feare and horror strooke:
And finding my afflicted Conscience grudg'd,
I iudge my selfe, for feare of being iudg'd.
I haue a Knowledge, by the which I know,
That all that's good in me, God did bestow:
And all my thoughts, and words, and actions euill,
I haue them (like my neighbors) from the Deuill.
By this my Knowledge, sometimes skill I haue,
To know an honest man, and know a knaue:
To know where I fare well, to come againe,
Where Friends for loue doe onely entertaine,
To know that Enuy, Pride and Letchery,
Sloth, Wrath, Auarice, and Gluttony,
Doth make the world dance Antique in a string,
And all their followers to confusion bring.
I know that griping base Extortion,
As it gets wealth without proportion,
Eu'n so, without proportion, rule or measure,
Shall be consum'd that most accursed Treasure.
I know a swearer, when I heare his Oathes,
I know a Gull, although he weare good Cloathes,
I know a Prodigall, by's lauish spending,
I know a Foole (my selfe) by too much lending.
I know I haue discharged others Score,
But will (for ought I know) doe so no more.
I know, that foure and twenty letters teaches
Al the whole worlds tongues, languages & speaches.
I know that I not any word can frame,
But in some Language 'tis an Anagram.
And though the world of sundry parts consists,
Yet all the world are Anagramatists.
I know the numbers numberlesse of faces,
That were, are, shall be, at all times, and places,
Are all vnlike each other, for we see,
They each from other may distinguish'd be.
I know, the difference of these voyces are
Vnlike each other, being neere, or farre,
And that mens seuerall writings are contrary,
And in some things from one another vary,
And by this knowledge I haue inward sight,
How that the workes of God are infinite.
I haue credulity, that when I heare
A man auouch a thing, protest and sweare,

46

I haue giu'n credit to him by and by,
Although the wicked wretch did sweare and lye,
Because I haue a hope that want of grace,
Doth not our Makers Image quite deface,
As that a man who hath wit, sence, or reason,
Dares to commit so horrible a treason,
As to call God to witnesse of his lies,
Thereby to countenance his villanies.
Thus through simplicity, and light beliefe,
I haue belieu'd an arrant whore, or thiefe.
I haue opinion, and haue euer had,
That when I see a stagg'ring drunken swad:
Then that a man worse then an Asse, I see,
Because an Asse will neuer drunken be.
And yet in mine opinion I am bold,
(That friendship and society to hold)
The merry spending of an idle houre,
To take a cup, or two, or three, or foure,
If soberly the meeting be well ended,
Tis tolerable, and to be commended,
And yet I haue my imperfections too,
Which make me daily doe, as others doe:
For I (like many rich men) now and than,
Make shew to be a very honest man:
But strong temptations dog me euery houre,
Which to resist I haue so little pow'r,
That if (perhaps) I had their meanes, I thinke,
I should (as they doe) dice, and drab, and drinke,
And through infirmity, or wilfulnesse,
Run greedily to Riots vaine excesse:
For Honors do change Manners; wealth and place
Are (oftentimes) temptations to disgrace,
And did some Greatmen cast vp their account,
To what their vaine expences doe amount;
So much for needlesse quarts, so much for smk
Paid so much for Eringoes, (to prouoke)
So much for Coach-hire, so much for a whore,
With Item, not three halfe-pence to the poore.
And who knowes, if I had their meanes, I say,
But I should be as very a Knaue as they?
For I haue imperfections, and a will.
And fraile infirmities, t'attempt what's ill,
That I in no good action cannot stand,
Except supported by th'Almighties hand.
I haue a sence and feeling simpathy,
Of others woe, and want, and misery:
If one man doth doe good, another bad,
I (for them both) can be both glad, and sad.
For when I see a Great man raysed hye,
I haue a sence of his Nobility,
And wish, that all his Actions still may be,
To make him worthy of his dignitie.
But when I see that Fortune 'ginnes to frowne,
And from her fickle wheele to cast them downe,
Though their foule faults I hate and doe abhor,
Yet as th'are men, I haue a pitty for.
For when a whore is whip'd, a Bawdi'th Cart,
A drunkard in the stockes, for his desert:
An arrant Knaue, or periurde wretch to stand,
And makes the Pillory his falling band;
Or one, whose backward Fortune doth preuaile,
To make a bridle of a Horses taile,
With riding Retrograde, i'th streets proclaime,
On their own backs & brests, their faults & shame;
When any Villaine for his fault is tortur'd,
A Thiefe, or Traytor, hang'd, or drawn & quarterd:
As I doe hope for mercy from Aboue,
As they are men, they doe my pitty moue,
And I doe grieue, the Diuell hath so much pow'r,
Mans Reason, and Alleageance to deuoure;
And that of Grace they laid no faster hold,
But fall into these mischiefes manifold.
I haue a Fortune that attends on me,
For neuer will I Fortunes vassal be:
And let her frowne or smile, or hang her selfe,
And giue me either pouerty or pelfe,
Or cast me low, or lift me vp on hye,
Yet (spight her teeth) I'l liue vntill I dye.
For all mans outward happinesse, are things
Ty'd and bound fast to fickle Fortunes wings:
Which when she list, she will alight and stay.
And when her wheele but turnes, she flies away.
She's bountifull to fooles, and therefore I
Haue small share in her liberality.
On wise men she doth fauours seldome fix:
For wisedome scorns her slights and iugling tricks;
And yet no industry of man aliue,
(If Fortune frowne on him) can make him thriue.
For why, so pow'rfull is the purblinde witch,
To raise vp knaues, and make fooles diuelish rich,
To set an Asse on top of all her wheele,
And to kicke vertue backward, with her heele:
To raise a Piper, Pander, or a Iester,
And therefore hang the Hag, I doe detest her.
She hath strange tricks, and works for diuers ends,
To make a Great man haue more kin then friends.
But seldome she this good report doth win,
To make a poore man haue more friends then kin.
A King in's Throne, a Generall in the warre,
Places of best command, and reuerence are.
But yet if Fortune frowne on their affaires,
They shall be rich in nothing but in cares.
Shee's like a Ianus with a double face,
To smile and lowre; to grace, and to disgrace;
She lou's and loathes, together at an instant,
And in inconstancy is onely constant.
Vncertaine certaine, neuer loues to settle,
But here, there, euery where; in dock, out nettle.
The man whom all her frownes or fauours spurne,
Regardeth not her wheele, how oft it turnes.
A wise man knowes she's easier found then kept,
And as she's good, or bad, he doth accept.

47

He knowes she comes intending not to stay,
And giu's but what she meanes to take away.
For by discretion it is truly knowne,
Her liberall gifts she holds still as her owne.
And vnto me her bounty hath bin such,
That if she tak't againe, I care not much.
I haue a loue which I to God doe owe,
With which I haue a feare doth in me grow:
I loue him for his goodnesse, and I feare
To anger him, that hath lou'd me so deare.
I feare in loue, as he's a gracious God,
Not loue for feare of his reuenging Rod.
And thus a louing feare in me I haue,
Like an adopted sonne, not like a slaue.
I haue a King whom I am bound vnto,
To doe him all the seruice I can doe:
To whom when I shall in Alegeance saile,
Let all the Diuels in hell my soule assaile;
If any in his gouernment abide,
In whom foule Treacherous malice doth recide
'Gainst him, his Royall off-spring or his friends,
I wish that Halters may be all their ends.
And those that cannot most vnfainedly
Say this, and sweare, as confident as I:
Of what degree soe'r, I wish (one houre)
They were in some kind skilfull Hangmans power.
I haue a life was lent me 'fore my birth,
By the great Landlord both of Heau'n and Earth:
But though but one way vnto life is common,
For All that euer yet was borne of woman,
Yet are there many thousand wayes for death,
To dispossesse vs of our liues, and breath.
For why, the Lord of life (that life doth make)
Will (as he pleaseth) life both giue and take,
And let me (blamelesse) suffer punishment,
Or losse of goods, or causelesse banishment,
Let me be hang'd, or burn'd, or stab'd, or drownd,
All's one to me, so still my Faith keepe sound,
Then let my life be ended, as God will,
This is my minde, and hope shall be so still:
To get to Heau'n, come thousand deaths together,
Th'are welcome pleasures, if they bring me thither.
I know for certaine, all Mortality,
When it begins to liue, begins to dye;
And when our liues that backe againe we giue,
We euer endlesse then doe dye, or liue.
When good men wish long life, 'tis vnderstood
That they would longer liue, to doe more good:
But when a bad man wisheth to liue long,
It is because he faine would doe more wrong.
And this one reason giues me much content,
Though I shall haue no Marble Monument,
Where my corrupted Carkasse may inherit,
With Epitaphs, to blaze my want of merit,
To waste as much to pollish and be-guild,
As would a charitable Almes-house build.
All which a gouty Vsurer, or worse,
May haue, and haue poore peoples heauy curse,
That many times the sencelesse Marble weeps,
Because the execrated corps it keepes.
When the meane space, perhaps the wretched soule,
In flames vnquenchable doth yell and howle.
I haue a hope, that doth my heart refresh,
How-e'r my soule be sundred from my flesh:
Although I haue no friends to mourne in sacke,
With merry insides, and with outsides blacke;
Though ne'r so poorely they my corps interre,
Without bell, booke, or painted Sepulcher,
Although I misse these trifles Transitory,
I haue a hope my soule shall mount to glory.
I haue a vaine in Poetry, and can
Set forth a knaue to be an honest man;
I can my Verses in such habit clad,
T'abuse the good, and magnifie the bad.
I can write (if I list) nor Rime or Reason,
And talke of fellony and whistle Treason,
And Libell against goodnesse (if I would)
And against misery could raile and scould;
Foule Treachery I could mince out in parts,
Like Vintners pots, halfe pints, and pints & quarts.
Euen so could I, with Libels base abound,
From a graine waight, or scruple, to a pound,
With a low note I could both say or sing,
As much as would me vnto Newgate bring,
And straining of my voyce a little higher,
I could obtaine the Fleet at my desire:
A little more aduancing of my note,
I from the Fleet, might to the Gatehouse flote.
Last, aboue Ela raising but my power,
I might, in state be mounted to the Tower.
Thus could my Muse (if I would be so base)
Run carelesse, by degrees, into disgrace,
But that for loue of goodnesse I forbeare,
And not for any seruile slauish feare.
Time seruing vassalls shall not me applaud,
For making of my Verse a great mans Bawd:
To set a lustre, and a flatt'ring glosse,
On a dishonourable lump of drosse;
To slabber o'r a Ladies homely feature,
And set her forth for a most beauteous creature.
Nor shall my free inuention stoope t'adore,
A fowle diseased, pocky painted whore.
Rewards or bribes my Muse shall ne'r entice,
To wrong faire Vertue, or to honor Vice.
But as my Conscience doth informe me still,
So will I praise the good, condemne the ill.
That man is most to be abhord of men.
Who in his cursed hand dares take a pen,
Or be a meanes to publish at the presse
Prophaned lines, or obsceane beastlinesse,
Scurrility, or knowne apparant lyes,
To animate or couer villanies;

48

A halter for such Poets, stead of Bayes,
Who make the Muses whores, much worse then Thais,
Such Rascals make the Heliconian well,
(In estimation and respect) like hell.
And of all good men iustly are rewarded,
Contemn'd and scorn'd like hellhounds, vnregarded.
For Poetry (if it be vs'd aright)
Sets forth our Makers mercy, and his might:
For though (through ignorance) it hath some foes,
God may be prais'd in Verse as well as prose.
Poets in Comedies are fit for Kings,
To shew (them Metaphoricall) such things
As is conuenient they should know and heare,
Which none but Poets dare to speake for feare.
A Poet's borne a Poet, and his trade
Is still to make: but Orators are made:
All Arts are taught and learn'd, we daily see,
But taught a Poet, neuer yet could be.
And as the Tree is by the fruit well knowne,
So by his writing is a Poet showne;
If he be well dispos'd, hee'l well indite,
If ill inclinde, he viciously will write.
And be he good or bad, in his condition,
His Lines will shew his inward disposition.
And to conclude this point and make an end,
The best amongst them hath much need to mend.
I haue a tongue, and could both sweare and lye,
(If to such customes, I would it apply)
But often swearing now and then forsweares,
And lying, a mans credit quite out weares;
I'l trust an arrant Thiefe to keepe my purse,
As soone as one that loues to sweare and curse:
For can it be that he that takes a vse,
And custome, God in swearing to abuse,
Can it be thought he will make Conscience then,
To play the false dissembling Knaue with men?
Nor can my supposition euer dreame,
That he who dares his Makers name blaspheme,
But that if Time would but occasions bring,
He would betray his Countrey, and his King.
For 'tis a Maxim, (no man can conuince)
The man that feares not God, loues not his Prince.
And he that cares not for his soule, I thinke,
Respects not, if his Country swim or sinke.
To lying I beare such a hate, that I
Will neuer (wittingly) affirme a lye:
I will not say, but I a lye may say,
But I will not affirme it any way:
Tis the maintaining falshoods to be true,
To whom a lyers odious name is due.
That all vntruths are falshoods, none denies,
But sure all falshoods cannot be cald lies.
For Esops fables, Ouids art-like fictions,
(Although they are 'gainst truth meere contradictions,
Of humane transformations from their kind,
Of disputations 'twixt the Sunne, and winde.
Of fowles, and beasts, and riuers, trees, and stones,
To tell each other of their ioyes or mones,
Of men trāsform'd to dogs, beares, bulls, swine, apes,
Which shewes that treasons, murders, incests, rapes,
Turne men into worse forms then beastly creatures,
When reason's dispossest by brutish natures.
A fiction, fable, or a harmelesse iest
I tolerate, but lyes I doe detest.
Th'Egyptians had a Law, that euery lyer
Should strait-way be beheaded, for their hyre.
But if that Law were executed here,
Few Pettifoggers would be found I feare.
The very Court would sorfeit now and than,
Many a complementing Gentleman.
But sure the City were the greatest share,
Where lying buyes and sells a world of ware;
The Countrey sometimes would a head allow,
In selling Corne, a Horse, a Sow, a Cow:
And then a headsman would get store of pelfe,
If he could but refraine to lye himselfe.
I haue a memory like (as I doe find)
A wallet, halfe before, and halfe behind.
In the fore-part my neighbors faults I put,
Behind (quite from my sight) mine owne are shut.
Thus partiality runnes like a streame,
To spy a Moat and not to see a Beame.
But when as reason memory collects,
T'examine my owne impotent defects,
Then doth it vnto me such things record,
As make me (almost) of my selfe abhord.
It tells me, I was in corruption borne.
And to corruption that I shall returne.
It tells me, that betwixt my birth and this,
I haue done thousand thousand things amisse:
It bids me to remember what I am,
To what place I must goe, and whence I came,
And with those thoughts, when as my mind is hye,
I am deiected through humility.
And this all Great men well remember may,
They are but Honourable clods of clay:
Or Reuerend Right Worshipfull graue dust,
And (whence they came) againe they thither must.
I say, if foolish females, with faire features,
Would but remember they were mortal Creatures,
And that as their good Grandams dy'd before,
Eu'n so must they, and must be seene no more,
And all their gawdy glory be forgot,
Whilst they shall lye, consume, and stinke, and rot:
If these things they would to remembrance call,
Their honyed pleasures would be mix'd with Gall,
And all and euery one their course would bend,
Within themselues, what is amisse so mend.
The memory, vnto the soule is food,
That thinks, & saies, & doth the thing that's good.
I haue a heart doth like a Monarch raigne,
Who in my Microcosme doth lawes ordaine:

49

Affections, Sences, Passions, Subiects, Slaues,
Some like good Courtiers, some like flatt'ring knaues
With show of Vertue, hiding of their Vice,
They bring their Lord t'a foolish Paradise;
For when the heart thinkes swearing an abuse,
Then Anger saies it is a manly vse,
And when to quaffe, the minde hath no intent,
Affection saies, 'tis honest merriment,
The minde calls Letchery abomination,
Sence saies, 'tis Gentlemanlike recreation,
The minde holds Couetousnesse worse then theft,
Sence calls it Husbandry, and frugall thrift,
Reason delights in liberality,
Sence counsels it to prodigality.
And thus these vassalls doe their King mislead,
(Whilst Reason seemes to be asleepe or dead.)
And thus this little Kingdome man doth fade,
With hearing Traytors, when they doe perswade.
I haue experience, by the which I finde,
That some, though poore in purse, are rich in minde:
And they that haue of wealth the greatest store,
Are, in content, most miserable poore:
There's many a Mammonist doth houses keepe,
With lofty Turrets, and with Sellers deepe;
With a most stately porch, and spacious hall
And kitchin, lesser then a Coblers stall,
Where (in two dayes) a poore halfe racke of Mutton.
Proclaimes the Master of the house no Glutton,
Where soule-bewitching gold in bondage is,
(As may the keepers be, in hells abisse.)
Where waking thoughts keepe still the mind opprest,
And frightfull dreames make rest, to be vnrest,
And whereas feares by night, and doubts by day
Driue happinesse, and sweet content away,
Much better then is my estate then theirs,
I haue content, and they the golden cares:
I can feed well at home, and soundly sleepe,
And what I haue, not care to lose or keepe.
I haue consideration, to perceiue
What's best for me to take, and what to leaue:
When I consider, pleasures past and gone,
Doth adde affliction, to affliction,
Though he that's low can very hardly rise,
Yet he that's high, oft falls to miseries.
He that is downe, his feare's already past,
Whilst he that's vp, may haue a slippery cast,
I doe consider, that I oft did craue,
Things both from God and men, vnfit to haue:
And many times, through inconsiderate wit,
Gifts, giuers and receiuers are vnfit.
He is a liberall man, that doth deny,
That which will doe the askers iniury;
There is a bounty, which I will reueale,
That he ne'r giu's in vaine, that giu's in zeale:
As prodigality brings want and woes,
So liberality makes friends of foes.
Tis better for a man his purse to hold,
Then giue, to make a begger proud, or bold.
True bounty is (on earth) a speciall grace,
And hath in heauen prepar'd a glorious place.
For as the Sunne vnto the moone giu's light,
Which light she giues againe to vs by night:
So God doth giue his gifts to lib'rall men,
Which they (to men that want) doe giue agen.
But he that giues, should strait forget it quite,
What they that take, in memory should write.
And I accept alike, great gifts, and small,
Onely to me the giuers mind is all.
Tis a base bounty when a man relieues
These prostituted Whores, or Knaues, or Theeues:
For still the Diuell is bountifull to those,
That vnto Vertue, are inueterate foes.
But many hold it for a generous part,
To giue a man that's drunke, theother quart:
And in a humor (to haue Drawers trouble)
Throw pottle Pots down stairs, to come vp double;
When strait vpon their knees, they all accord,
To drinke a health to some vnworthy Lord:
Some fusty Madam, or some carpet Knight,
'Till they can neither speake, or stand vpright.
Then being all abominable drunke,
A Gallant drinkes a health vnto his Punke:
The which withall Sir Reuerence strait they are
Inioynd to doe, vpon their knees, all bare.
If any dare deny to pledge the Drab,
He's in great danger of a mortall Stab:
For he accounts it worse then blasphemy,
That one should there his Mistris health deny,
Vntill at last o'r charg'd with too much wine,
They wallow in their vomits, worse then swine.
Thus many a beastly rude Barbarian,
Gaines little of a lib'rall Gentleman.
A worthy spirit, a rare Noble sparke,
True bred, a merry Greeke, or man of marke.
A right mad Troian, a most ex'lent blade,
As bountifull a man as e'r God made.
Thus many an idle fellow gets a name
Of Bountifull, through deeds of sinne and shame.
Indeed he's liberall, that spends health and wealth,
And precious Time, in drinking others health:
If dropsie Drunkards falne to pouerty,
Should beg a Pension of his Maiesty,
And in their humble sutes would make it knowne,
How drinking of his healths, they lost their owne,
I thinke, his Highnesse iustly would relieue them,
And (for Rewards) to each a Halter giue them.
But is't not strange, that man so mad should be,
Idolatrous, bare-headed on his knee,
Bow and fall downe vnto an absent Whore,
As th'only Saint (or diuell) he doth adore?
But e'r he'l kneele vnto his God, to craue
For mercy, his infected soule to saue:

50

Before he'l beg Gods pardon for his crimes,
He sweares him o'r and o'r a hundred times,
And takes it for a Gentlemanlike grace,
To spit his venome 'gainst his Makers face,
And with his Othes as false, as blacke is white,
God dam him, or renounce, or sinke him quite:
Refuse him (or if not refuse) forsake him,
And now & then sweares, Then the Diuel take him.
Thus he in ordinary talke affords,
'Mongst (truth & lies) more othes then other words;
These are the bounteous youths I care not for,
And these I haue a heart that doth abhor.
From a rich knaue of worshipfull degree,
I haue a minde to spare my cap and knee:
To a good man that's honest, poore and wise,
I haue a heart that my affection tyes.
Some sixteene times I on the Seas haue beene,
In Spaine and Germany both out and in,
At Cales, at Ostend, Prague, and many a where,
And yet I doe thanke God, Cham here, Cham here.
I haue a Wife which I was wont to prayse,
But that was in my yonger wooing dayes:
And though she's neither Shrew, nor Sheep (I vow
With Iustice) I cannot dispraise her now.
She hath an Instrument (that's euer strung,
To exercise my patience on) her tongue.
But past all question, and beyond all doubt,
Shee'l ne'r infect my forehead with the Gout.
A married man (some say) has two dayes gladnesse,
And all his life else, is a lingring sadnesse:
The one dayes mirth is, when he first is married,
Th'other's, when his wife's to burying carried.
One I haue had, should I the other see,
It could not be a day of mirth to me.
For I (as many haue) when I did woo,
My selfe (in tying fast) did not vndoo:
But I haue by my long experience found,
I had beene vndone, had I not beene bound.
I haue my bonds of marriage long enioy'd,
And doe not wish my obligation voyd.
I haue a house where I doe eat and sleepe,
But bread, nor meat, or drinke in it (I keepe.)
For many Lords, and great men keepe good meat,
But I spend mine, to make good fellowes eat.
And though no Turrets doe my house bedecke,
There one may breake his fast, before his necke.
I haue a trade, much like an Alchymist,
That oft-times by extraction, if I list,
With sweating labour at a woodden Oare,
I'l get the coyn'd refined siluer Ore.
Which I count better then the sharking tricks
Of cooz'ning Tradsemen, or rich Politicks,
Or any proud foole, ne'r so proud or wise,
That doth my needfull honest trade despise.
I haue some troubles, by the which I know,
How flattring friends doe ebbe, and foes doe flow:
Prosperity increaseth friendship much,
But aduerse Fortune tries them with the tutch,
By troubles and by crosses I gaine wit,
When daily pleasures doe diminish it.
Thus (by his pow'r that All-sufficient is)
I haue had time and pow'r to write all this:
And I haue hope that He the time will grant,
That I may tell of some things that I want.
The Motto of I haue is large and wide,
Which largely here, I could haue amplifide,
For I haue Ioy, and Loue, and Comforts here,
And I haue folly, sorrow, doubt and feare;
I haue (in part) my frailty here reueal'd,
I haue some Vices which I haue conceal'd.
I haue done as I haue, then if I haue
But pleas'd my friends, I haue gain'd what I craue.
Yet my, I haue, as great is euery iot,
And as small too as any mans haue not.

Et Careo, I want.

Strange is the penance of my humble Muse,
That must tell what I want without excuse.
What man (without much torture) would confesse
His want, his beggery, and guiltinesse;
But that the World would thinke him to be mad,
Or that he very small discretion had?
Yet (at this time) it is my fatall lot,
To tell I want, what other men want not.
And therefore to declare my wants most plaine,
I want a bragging or a boasting vaine;
In words or writing, any wayes to frame,
To make my selfe seeme better then I am.
I want faire vertue to direct my course,
And stand against the shock of vices force;
And (of my selfe) I no way can resist,
'Gainst Hell, the World, the Flesh, or Antichrist:
For ought I know, I want a courage stout,
Afflictions and temptations to keepe out:
And I doe feare, should time of triall come,
My constancy would bide no Martyrdome.
But to helpe what I want, I want despaire,
And hope supplies my want in all my care:
And as I want that bold-fac'd impudence,
As may giue iust occasion of offence:
So doe I want base flatt'ry with my pen,
To sooth my selfe, or to taxe other men.
I doe want goodnesse, for I cleerely see,
All good I doe or say, is not from me.
And amongst all the benefits I craue,
Goodnesse I want, and goodnesse I would haue.
A man may seeme too iust, too full of wit,
But to be too good, neuer man was yet.

51

He that is great, is not made good thereby,
But he that's good, is great continually.
Thus great and good together's rare and scant,
Whilst I no greatnesse haue, all goodnesse want.
I doe want wit t'inuent, conceiue and write,
To moue my selfe or others to delight:
But what a good wit is, I partly know,
Which (as I can) I will define and show.
Wit is the off-spring of a working braine,
That will be lab'ring, though it be in vaine:
'Tis call'd the Mother wit, by which I finde,
She's of the bearing, breeding, femall-kinde.
And some haue of their mothers wit such store,
That in their fathers wisedome they are poore.
A good wit is a vertue that excells,
And is the house where vnderstanding dwells:
With whom the mind, and memory, and sence,
And reason, keepe continuall residence:
For why, if Reason chance to be away,
Wit, (like a Colt) breaks loose and runnes astray.
There's many that haue got their wealth by wit:
But neuer wealth had power to purchase it.
Rich fooles, and witty beggers euery where,
Are the third part of Mankinde very neere,
And little friendship doth blind Fortune grant
To me; for wit and mony both, I want.
Yet for mine eares price I could vndertake
To buy as much as would a Lybell make:
Or I could haue as much, as fits these times
With worthlesse Iests, or beastly scuruy Rimes:
To serue some Lord, and be a man of note,
Or weare a guarded vnregarded Coat.
Wit for a foole I thinke enough I haue;
But I want wit to play the crafty knaue:
And then the Prouerbe I should finely fit,
In playing of the foole, for want of wit.
To Archie (at the Court) I'l make a iaunt,
For he can teach me any thing I want,
And he will teach me for a slender fee,
A foolish knaue, or knauish foole to bee.
Garret growes old and honest, and withall,
His skill in knauish fooling is but small:
The Knight o'th' Sunne can caper, dance and leape,
And make a man small sport exceeding cheape.
In the old time, a wise man was a foole,
That had compar'd himselfe with great Otoole.
But his good dayes are past, he's downe the winde,
In both his eyes and vnderstanding blinde.
But holla, holla, Muse, come backe againe,
I was halfe rauisht with a fooling vaine:
And, if I had gone forward with full speed,
I'd plaid the foole for want of wit indeed.
As Frogs in muddy ditches vse to breed,
So there's a wit that doth from Wine proceed:
And some doe whet their wit so much thereon,
Till all the sharpenesse and the steele is gone;
With nothing left but back, the edge gone quite,
Like an old Cat, can neither scratch nor bite.
The wit I want, I haue, yet yeelds no profit,
Because a foole hath still the keeping of it.
Which had it in a Wisemans head beene planted,
I should not now want, what I long haue wanted;
I want that vndermining policy;
To purchase wealth with foule dishonesty:
And I doe want, and still shall want, I hope,
Such actions as may well deserue a Rope.
I want a mind, bad company to haunt,
Which if I doe, it seemes I foresight want,
I want a Kingdome, and a Crowne to weare,
And with that want, I want a world of care.
But might I be a King, I would refuse it,
Because I doe want wisedome how to vse it.
When an vnworthy man obtaines the same,
He's rais'd to high preferment for his shame:
For why, the office of a King is such,
And of such reuerence as I dare not tutch:
Like to the Thunder, is his voyce exprest,
His Maiesty, as Lightning from the East,
And though he want the art of making breath,
Hee's like a Demy-God, of life and death.
And as Kings (before God) are all but men,
So before men, they all are gods agen.
Hee's a good King, whose vertues are approu'd,
Fear'd for his Iustice, for his mercy lou'd:
Who patternes all his Royall dignity,
By the iust rule of Heauens high Maiesty,
Who can distribute (to good mens content)
Reward for vertue, vices punishment,
Who loues a poore mans goodnesse, and doth hate
All foule corruption in a man of State,
Combin'd in loue with Princes neere and farre,
Most affable in peace, powerfull in warre:
And aboue all, religious, full of zeale,
To guard the Church, & guide the Common-weale.
And though such Kings as this, haue seldome beene,
Yet such a King as this I oft haue seene.
And as I want a Regall power and fame,
I want Reuenues to maintaine the same:
I thinke a King that's made of Ginger-bread,
His Subiects would obey him with more dread:
And any knaue that could but kisse his Claw.
And make a leg, would make me but Iack-Daw.
And as the Swallow all the Summer stayes,
And when the winter comes, he flyes his wayes:
So flatt'rers would adore my happinesse,
And take their flight, and leaue me in distresse,
To praise my vices, all the swarme of them
Would flocke, and all my vertues would condem.
Much worse then Rauens is their flattery,
For Rauens eate not men vntill they dye:

52

But so a flatt'ring knaue may get and thriue,
He daily will deuoure a man aliue.
Besides, the body onely feeds the Fowle:
But flattery oft consumes both body and soule.
For like to trencher-Flies they euer proue,
Who still wait more for lucre then for loue.
Thus, though I want a Kingly power Royall,
'Tis 'gainst my will, to want will to be loyall.
And if that any King aliue there bee
That willingly would change estates with mee,
I in my bargaine should haue gold for brasse,
And he would be accounted but an Asse.
For any Kings estate, be't ne'r so bad,
To change it with Iohn Taylor, were starke mad.
A King of Clubs keeps subiects in more awe:
For he commands his Knaue (except at Maw)
A King of Spades hath more wit in his pate,
To delue into the secrets of his state:
The King of Diamonds is too rich and wise,
To change his pleasures for my miseries.
And for the King of Hearts, he's so belou'd,
That to exchange with me, he'l ne'r be mou'd.
For I am full of feares and dangerous doubts,
And poorer farre then is a King of Clouts:
I therefore will a Subiect still remaine,
And learne to serue, that am vnfit to reigne.
I want ten millions of good coyned gold,
And with that want, want troubles manifold;
But if I had so much, what man can tell,
But that I should want grace to vse it well?
Within the walls and skirts of Troynouant,
Many that haue most goods, most goodnesse want:
For Charity and Riches seldome can
Haue both possession in a wealthy man.
Fooles that are rich with multitudes of Pieces,
Are like poore simple sheepe with golden fleeces:
A knaue, that for his wealth doth worship get,
Is like the Diuell that's a cock-horse set.
For money hath this nature in it still,
Slaue to the goodman master to the ill.
The Couetous amidst his store is poore,
The minde content is rich and seekes no more.
Who couets most, hath least; who couets least,
Hath most; for why, sufficient is a feast.
Wealth vnto mischiefes might my mind inchant,
And therefore 'tis much good for me I want.
I want a Sonne and Heyre, and I perceiue,
That he no portion could from me receiue;
Vnlesse I could bequeath him Poetry,
To adde more pouerty to pouerty,
But as I doe want Children, I want care,
And iealousie, in which some Fathers are:
For many of them rake and toyle (God wot)
To gather wealth for Heyres they ne'r begot:
And run to Hell (through mischiefes) greedily,
For other mens misgotten Bastardy.
The greatest females vnderneath the skye,
Are but fraile vessels of mortality:
And if that Grace and Vertue be away,
There's Honour's shame, and Chastitie's decay.
For, if inconstancy-doth keepe the dore,
Lust enters, and my Lady proues a Whore:
And so a Bastard to the World may come,
Perhaps begotten by some stable Groome,
Whom the fork-headed, her cornuted Knight
May play and candle with, with great delight,
And thus by one base misbegotten sonne,
Gentility in a wrong line may run:
And thus foule lust to worship may prefer
The mungrell Issue of a Fruterer,
Or yeoman of the Bottles it may be:
Or some vnmannerd rascall worse then he,
And though the Stripling vp in yeeres doth grow,
He shall want wit his father how to know:
But he shall know one that will father him,
And with good bringing vp maintaine him trim:
And loues him with affection, as he were
His owne most nat'rall Primogeniter .
The old Knight dyes and freely giues him all,
And he being growne a Gallant faire and tall,
If with his cursed wealth he purchase can,
To wed the Daughter of some Nobleman,
And being thus enuobled much thereby,
Through his Alliance with Nobility;
He may in time possesse an honour'd state,
Which God doth curse, and all good people hate:
Then shall be search'd, if possible it be,
Before Cams birth, to finde his Petigree:
Then is some famous coat of Armes contriu'd,
From many worthy families deriu'd.
And thus may Lust & Wealth rayse many a Clown,
To Reputation, and to high Renowne.
Thus many good men are deceiu'd (perhaps)
In bowing of their knees, and doffing Caps,
And courteously commit Idolatry,
To a proud branch of Lust and Letchery.
For my part, I want meanes to gull men so,
I may be gull'd with others goodly show.
If any finde my Children meate or cloth,
I got them in my sleepe, I'l take mine oth,
I cannot be deceiued in my Heyres,
As some that are my betters may in theirs,
And as no Bastards my free mind perplexe,
So I want Iealousies, which some men vexe.
Should thousands such as Hercules combine,
T'inspire with Iealousie this brest of mine,
Nor all the Goatish foule luxurious brood,
Could not possesse me with that frantike mood,
She that I haue, I know her continence,
And she as well doth know my confidence;
[_]

There is no anchor in the text for this note.—

The Heralds of this Office dwell at Nullibi.



53

And yet, for ought you know, both she and I
May want both honesty and Iealousie:
Though of our selues our knowledge is but small;
Yet somewhat we doe know, and God knowes all.
The man whose wife will be a whore indeed,
His Iealousie stands but in little steed:
Nor can bolts, locks, or walls of brasse suffice
Briareus hundred hands, nor Argos eyes;
Nor all the wit in man or Diuels pate,
Can alter any mans allotted fate:
For if a Woman be to lewdnesse giuen,
And is not guided with the grace of Heauen;
Shee will finde oportunity and time,
In spight of watch or ward, to doe the Crime:
But if she be with heauenly blessings grac't,
As outward beautifull, and inward chaste;
Then may foule iealousie and false suspition,
Against her nature alter her condition,
From good to bad, from bad to naught, and worse,
And turne her vertues to a vicious course.
For nothing can an honest minde infect,
So soone as iealousie and false suspect;
And this foule Fury many times hath wrought,
To make the bad worse and the good stark naught:
But neuer yet by it (as I could heare)
The good or bad, one iot the better were:
And therefore be my wife, or good, or ill,
I iealousie doe want, and want it will.
I want dissimulation to appeare,
A friend to those, to whom I hatred beare:
I want the knowledge of the thriuing Art,
A holy outside, and a hollow heart:
But as I am, the same I'l euer seeme,
Not worse, or better, in mine owne esteeme,
For what attire soe'r my corps doth hide,
Or whether I doe goe on foot or ride:
Or were I with the Kings high fauour grac'd,
Or at a great Lords boord, at dinner plac'd,
And should I haue all this, I were no more
But a poore Waterman, that at his Oare
Doth (for a liuing) labour, tug, and pull,
And carries both the Gallant and the Gull.
How-euer others doe esteeme of me,
Yet as I am, I know my selfe to be.
If I doe chance to be in company,
Well welcom'd, amongst true Gentility,
I know, in them it is a courteous part,
And that in me it can be no desert.
I want that high esteemed excellence
Of sustian or Mockado Eloquence,
To flourish o'r, or bumbast out my stile,
To make such, as not vnderstand me, smile;
Yet I with Non-sence could contingerate,
With Catophiscoes Terragrophicate,
And make my selfe admir'd immediately,
Of such as vnderstand no more then I.
Besides, I want the knowledge and the skill,
How these my lines may passe now well or ill:
For as a learned Poet lately writ
With a comparison, comparing fit
Mens writings and inuentious like to Cheese,
Which with some stomacks very well agrees
Some loue it, and some cannot well disgest it,
Some care not for it, and some quite detest it;
And so my line, to sundry hands may come,
Some pleasing, and displeasing vnto some:
One likes it well, and very well commends it,
A second sweares 'tis naught, and madly rends it,
A third cries mew, and scrues his iawes awry,
And in a scornfull humour layes it by:
Thus some like all, some somwhat, & some nothing,
And one mans liking is anothers lothing.
I want hope to please all men where I come,
I want despaire, and hope I shall please some;
I want ingratitude to friends, I want
A willing mind, (what's written) to recant:
I want 'gainst any man peculiar spite,
I want a selfe-loue vnto what I write:
I want some friends that would my want supply,
I want some foes that would my patience try.
If all things that I want, I here should tell,
To a large volume then my booke would swell;
For though my selfe in wants doe boldly beare,
My wants of such great weight, and number are,
That sure the burden of the things I want,
Would breake the backe of any Elephant.
 

I should beleeue all were Gold that glisters.

In my English Latine Richard Swary, I finde or coynd this worthy word.

Et Curo, I Care.

I care to thinke vpon the Theame I write,
For Care is carefull, yeelding no delight:
And though Care flowes like a continuall streame,
Yet Care is but a very barren Theame.
Vpon I care not, my swift Muse could iog,
Like to an Irish Lackery o'r a bog;
But my poore wit must worke vpon I care,
Which is a subiect (like my wit) most bare.
I care to keepe my wife in that degree,
As that she alwayes might my equall be:
And I doe care, and at all times endeuer,
That she to haue the mastership shall neuer.
I Care, and so must all that mortall are;
For from our births, vnto our graues, our care
Attends on vs, in number like our sinnes,
And sticks vnto vs close, as doe our skins;
For the true Anagram of Care is Race,
Which shewes, that whilst we on the earth haue place,

54

So many miseries doe vs insnare,
That all our life is but a Race of Care;
And when I call my life vnto account,
To such great numbers doe my Cares amount,
That Cares on Cares my mind so much doe lade,
As I of (nothing else but) Cares were made.
When I conceiue I am besieged round
With enemies, that would my soule confound,
As is the Flesh, the World and ghostly Fiends,
How (seu'rally) their force and flatt'ry bends,
To driue me to presumption or despare,
T'auoid temptations I am full of care.
When I consider what my God hath done
For me, and how his grace I daily shun:
And how my sinnes (for ought I know) are more
Then Stars in sky, or Sands vpon the shore,
Or wither'd leaues that Autumne tumbles downe,
And that sinnes leprosie hath ouergrowne
My miserable selfe from head to heele,
Then hopefull feares, and fearefull cares I feele.
When I doe see a man that conscience makes
Of what he speakes, or doth, or vndertakes;
That neither will dissemble, lye, or sweare,
To haue the loue of such a man I care.
I care, when I doe see a Prodigall
(On whom a faire estate did lately fall)
When as is spent his credit and his chink,
And he quite wasted to a snuffe, doth stink,
Who in the Spring, or Summer of his Pride,
Was worship'd, honor'd, almost deifi'd:
And (whilst the golden Angels did attend him)
What swarms of friends, and kindred did befriend him,
Perswading him, that giue, & spend, & lend,
Were vertues which on Gentry doe depend?
When such a fellow falne to misery,
I see forsaken and in beggery,
Then for some worthy friends of mine I care,
That they by such examples would beware.
A foole is he who giues (himselfe t'impaire)
And wise is he who giues what he may spare:
But those that haue too much, and nothing giue,
Are slaues of Hell, and pitty 'tis they liue.
But as the prodigall doth vainely spend,
As thogh his ill sprung wel-spring, ne'r would end,
Yet in his pouerty he's better much,
Then a hard-hearted miserable Clutch;
Because the Prodigall lets mony flie,
That many people gaine and get thereby.
A Prodigall's a Common-wealths man still,
To haue his wealth all common, tis his will,
And when he wants, he wants what he hath not,
But misers want what they both haue, and got.
For though man from the teate hath weaned bin,
Yet still our infancy we all are in,
And frō our birth, till death our liues doth smother,
All men doe liue by sucking one another.
A King with Clemency and Royalty,
Doth sucke his Subiects loue and loyalty:
But as the Sea sucks in the Riuers goods,
And Riuers backe againe, sucke in the floods,
So good Kings, and true Subiects, alwayes proue
To suck from each, protection, feare, and loue.
All Clients whatsoe'r are Lawyers nurses,
And many times they doe sucke dry their purses:
But though the Lawyer seemes in wealth to swim,
Yet many great occasions doe sucke him.
The Prodigalls estate, like to a flux,
The Mercer, Draper, and the Silkman sucks:
The Taylor, Millainer, Dogs, Drabs and Dice,
Trey-trip, or Passage, or The most at thrice;
At Irish, Tick-tacke, Doublets, Draughts or Chesse,
He flings his money free with carelessenesse:
At Nouum Mumchāce, mischance, (chuse ye which)
At One and thirty, or at Poore and rich,
Ruffe, slam, Trump, noddy, whisk, hole, Sant, Newcut.
Vnto the keeping of foure Knaues he'l put
His whole estate at Loadum, or at Gleeke,
At Tickle-me quickly, he's a merry Greeke,
At Primefisto, Post and payre, Primero,
Maw, Whip-her-ginny, he's a lib'rall Hero;
At My-sow-pigg'd: and (Reader neuer doubt ye,
He's skill'd in all games, except) Looke about ye.
Bowles, shoue-groate, tennis, no game comes amiss,
His purse a nurse for any body is;
Caroches, Coaches, and Tobacconists,
All sorts of people freely from his fists,
His vaine expences daily sucke and soake,
And he himselfe sucks onely drinke and smoake:
And thus the Prodigall, himselfe alone,
Giues suck to thousands, and himselfe sucks none.
But for the miser, he is such an euill,
He sucks all, yet giues none sucke but the Deuill:
And both of them such cursed members are,
That to be neither of them both I care.
Thus young, old, all estates, men, maids, & wiues,
Doe sucke from one another, all their liues;
And we are neuer wean'd from sucking thus,
Vntill we dye, and then the wormes sucke vs.
I care when I want money, where to borrow,
And when I haue it, then begins new sorrow:
For the right Anagram of woe is owe.
And he's in woe that is in debt I know:
For as I car'd before to come in debt,
So being in, my care is out to get.
Thus being in or out, or out or in,
Where one care ends, another doth begin.
I care to keepe me from the Serieants mace,
Or from a barbrous Bayliffs rough embrace:
Or from a Marshals man that mercy lacks,
That liues a cursed life by poore mens wracks,
From Serieants that are Saracens by kinde,
From Bayliffs that are worse then Beares in minde:

55

And from a Marshals monsters trap or snare,
To keepe me from such knaues as those I care,
A Pander (Hostler-like) that walks a whore,
And for a fee, securely keeps the doore,
A Punck that will with any body doe,
And giue the pox in to the bargaine too:
A rotten stinking Bawd, that for her crimes,
Stewd in a sweat hath beene some fifteene times,
A Drunkard, that delights to curse and sweare,
To shun such company as those I care.
I care to please and serue my Masters will,
And he with care commands not what is ill.
I care to haue them hang'd that carelesse be,
Or false vnto so good a Lord as he.
I care for all Religions that are hurld
And scatter'd o'r the vniuersall world:
I care to keepe that which is sound and sure,
Which euer and for euer shall endure.
I care t'auoyd all Sects and errors foule,
That to confusion haue drawne many a soule.
For be a man, a Heathen, Turke or Iew,
With care his miserable state I rue,
That he should haue sence, reason, life and lim,
Yet will not know That God that gaue them him.
And can a Christian thinke vpon these things,
But it his heart with care and pitty wrings;
That three parts of the world, the grace doth shun
Of their Creator, and his sauing Sonne?
And as the Christians few in number be,
Yet how they in Religions disagree,
Kings, subiects, parents, children much diuided,
By hell misguided, and by Turks derided.
And can a Christian thinke how these things are,
But that his heart must be possest with Care?
I would all Princes that doe Christ professe,
And hope through him for endlesse happinesse,
Their quarrels to each other to lay by,
And ioyne against the common Enemy,
Who like a tempest oftentimes hath come,
Aduancing Mahomet in Christendome.
If Christian Kings this way would all prepare,
For such a glorious warre as this I care.
And here (for mirths sake) some few lines are made
In the behalfe of me, and of my trade:
But honest Reader, be not angry tho
They looke like verses I wrote long agoe,
But they by many men were neuer seene,
And therefore fit to publish them I weene.
I that in quiet in the dayes of yore,
Did get my liuing at the healthfull Oare.
And with content did liue, and sweat and row,
Where like the tyde, my purse did ebbe and flow,
My fare was good, I thanke my bounteous Fares,
And pleasure made me carelesse of my cares.
The watry Element most plentifull,
Supplide me daily with the Oare and Scull,
And what the water yeelded, I with mirth,
Did spend vpon the Element of earth,
Vntill at last a strange Poetique veine,
As strange a way possest my working braine:
It chanc'd one euening, on a Reedy banke,
The Muses sate together in a ranke:
Whilst in my boat I did by water wander,
Repeating lines of Hero and Leander,
The Triple three tooke great delight in that,
Call'd me a shore, and caus'd me sit and chat,
And in the end, when all our talke was done,
They gaue to me a draught of Helicon,
Which prou'd to me a blessing and a curse,
To fill my pate with verse, and empt my purse.
By their poore gift I haue experience found,
What's fit to be reprou'd, and what renownd:
And that a Waterman a member is,
Which neither King nor Common-wealth can misse,
Yet we could well misse some that are too bad,
If better in their roomes were to be had:
But though abundance of them I could spare,
Tis onely for the honest trade I care.
Some say we carry whores and theeues. Tis true,
I'l carry those that said so, for my due:
Our boats like hackney horses, euery day,
Will carry honest men and knaues, for pay:
We haue examples for it most diuine,
The Sunne vpon both good and bad doth shine,
Vpon the dunghill and vpon the Rose:
Vpon Gods seruants and vpon his foes:
The wind, the raine, the earth, all creatures still,
Indifferently doe serue both good and ill.
All tradesmen sell their ware continually,
To whores, or knaues, or any that will buy.
They ne'r examine people what they are:
No more can we, when we transport a Fare.
Sappho a Poetresse, a Lady fam'd,
Did wed a Waterman was Phaon nam'd:
Ægypt Kings (with Oares) as histories doe show,
King Edgar to's Parliament did row.
And when the waters all the world o'r-ran,
Old Noah was the onely Waterman.
I care what quantity of this same stuffe
I write: I may doe much, or not enuffe:
To end it therefore I will haue a Care,
And shew the Watermans briefe Character.
First, though he be not of the female kinde,
Yet he's most like vnto a Whore, I finde:
For both, the more vnready that they be,
Both are most ready for their trade, we see:
The Watermen in shirts, and Whores in smocks,
Both ship and fall to worke, t'increase their stocks.

56

Besides, a Waterman is much ingratefull,
(And yet is his ingratitude not hatefull)
For vnder God) the Riuer Thamesis,
His chiefest friend, and best maintainer is,
It feeds and fills him, giues him daily treasure,
And he (to crosse that Friend) takes pains with pleasure.
Mine own vnkindnes I haue oft exprest,
For when I crost it most, it pleas'd me best.
And as an Hypocrite speakes fairest when
He most deceiues, so we poore Watermen,
Goe backward when we doe goe forward still,
And forward, we goe backward with good will.
Thus looking one way, and another rowing,
With forward backward, backward forward going,
To get my liuing I haue thought it meet,
Much like a Weauer with both hand and feet,
Or like a Ropemaker, I in my trade
Haue many hundred times run retrograde;
But though the Ropemaker doe backward goe,
Yet is his worke before his face, we know;
And all the voyages I vndertake,
My businesse still hath bin behind my backe.
But (in a word) let things be as they are,
Those whom I carry, to land safe, I care.
When I doe stand my labour to apply,
I neither vse to call, or yall, or cry,
Or thrust, or shoue, or rake, or hale, or pull
The Gentleman, or Gentleman-like Gull,
A mayd, a wife, a widdow, or a trull.
Be he the greatest swearer on the earth,
Or the most dang'rous theefe that e'r had birth,
Be he or they as bad, or worse, or worst,
Then any that of God or man are curst:
Yet (if it be their lots to be my fare)
To carry them and land them well I care.
For why? should I through carelesse negligence,
Drowne but a Rascall by improuidence,
In me it were an action most vntrue,
For robbing of the hangman of his due.
And be a veluet villaine ne'r so braue,
A siluer, silken, or a sattin slaue:
And that I know, and doe esteeme him so,
Yet with great care his Rogueship will I row,
Because I would not wrong the courteous Riuer,
With the base corps of such a wicked liuer;
I haue a care to looke about me round,
That he may liue and hang, and not be drownd.
I take great care how I might Cares auoyd,
And to that end I haue my Cares imployd:
For long agoe I doe remember that
There was a Prouerb, Care will kill a Cat.
And it is said, a Cat's a wondrous beast,
And that she hath in her nine liues at least,
And sure if any Cat this care could shun,
It was the famous Cat of Whittington,
For whom was giu'n a ship rich fraught with ware
And for a lucky Pusse like that, I care.
But if Care of such potent power be,
To kill nine liues, it may kill one in me;
And therefore it behoues me to beware,
That though I care not to be kild with care,
I care, and in my care take great delight,
(When by a Watch I doe passe late at night)
Such answers to the Constable to shape,
As by good words I may the Counter scape.
 

Learned Latine Lads tell me, that Curo comes neere curro.

Some six or eight lines are old of mine own, but I haue much varied them.

Shall Gods gifts be common to good and bad, and our boats be priuate onely to the good?

The character of a Waterman.

Thames a Watermans best friend, whom he, delights to crosse.

My serious Cares and Considerations.

Tis said, the age of man is seuenty yeeres,
If eighty, it is full of griefe and Cares,
And if we of our time account should keepe,
How halfe our liues we doe consume in sleepe,
And for the waking halfe, account that too,
How little seruice to our God we doe:
For till seuen yeeres be past and gone away,
We are vncapable to doe or pray.
Our Adolescency till our manly growth,
We waste in vanity and tricks of youth,
And as we trauell to our iournyes end,
The more we liue, the more we doe offend.
In sixty yeeres three thousand Sabbaths be,
Which are some eight yeeres in account we see:
But of those Sundayes let vs thinke agen,
How little seruice God hath had of men,
And to the holiest man it will appeare,
About one hundred houres in a yeere.
And so in threescore yeeres God hath not one,
Wherein his seruice we attend vpon.
And if that (lesse then one) t'account were brought,
How many a nap, and many a wauering thought,
And wandring fancies doe vs round beset,
(That many times the text we doe forget?)
Thinke but of this, and then the yeere before
Must be abated halfe, or somewhat more.
Thus many a Christian sixty yeeres hath trod
The earth, and not six months hath seru'd his God.
When we our liues vnequally thus share,
In thinking of it, I am full of care.
I care in all my actions so to liue,
That no occasion of offence I giue
To any man, with either pen or tongue,
In name, or fame, or goods, to doe them wrong.
For he's the greatest murderer aliue,
That doth a man of his good name depriue
With base calumnious slanders and false lies:
Tis the worst villany of villanies,
To blast a good mans name with scandals breath,
Makes his dishonor long suruiue his death:

57

For Infamie's a colour dyde in graine,
Which scarce obliuion can wash out againe.
As nothing's dearer then a mans good name,
So nothing wounds more deeper then defame.
Nature gaue man a paire of eares and eyes,
And but one tongue, which certainely implies,
That though our sight and hearing still is free,
Yet must we not speake all we heare or see.
Then he's a Viper that doth lyes, inuent,
To worke thereby anothers detriment:
'Tis sinne to slander a notorious Knaue;
But sinne and shame a good man to depraue;
Thus good or bad, or whatsoe'r they are,
To doe to neither of them wrong I care.
I care to get good Bookes, and I take heed,
And care what I doe either write or read:
Though some through ignorance; & some through spite,
Haue said that I can neither read nor write.
But though my lines no Scholership proclaime,
Yet I at learning haue a kind of ayme.
And I haue gatherd much good obseruations,
From many humane and diuine translations.
I was well entred (forty Winters since)
As farre as possum in my Accidence;
And reading but from possum to posset,
There I was mir'd, and could no further get:
Which when I thinke vpon (with mind deiected)
I care to thinke how learning I neglected.
The Poet Quid, (or Ouid if you will)
Being in English, much hath helpt my skill:
And Homer too, and Uirgil I haue seene,
And reading them, I haue much better'd beene.
Godfrey of Bulloyne, well by Fairfax done,
Du Bartas, that much loue hath rightly wonne:
Old Chaucer, Sidney, Spencer, Daniel, Nash,
I dip'd my finger where they vs'd to wash.
As I haue read these Poets, I haue noted
Much good, which in my memory is quoted.
Of Histories I haue perusde some store,
As no man of my function hath done more.
The Golden legend, I did ouer tosse,
And found the Gold mixt with a deale of drosse.
I haue read Plutarchs Morals and his Liues,
And like a Bee, suckt Hony from those Hiues.
Iosephus of the Iewes, Knowles of the Turks,
Marcus Aurelius, and Gueuara's works:
Lloyd, Grimstone, Montaigne, and Suetonius,
Agrippa, (whom some call Cornelius,)
Graue Seneca, and Cambden, Purchas, Speed,
Old Monumentall Fox, and Hollinshead:
And that sole Booke of Bookes, which God hath giuen,
(The blest eternall Testaments of heauen)
That I haue read, and I with care confesse,
My selfe vnworthy of such happinesse.
And many more good Bookes I haue with care
Lookt on their goods, and neuer stole their ware:
For no booke to my hands could euer come,
If it were but the Treatise of Tom Thumb,
Or Scoggins Iests, or any simple play,
Or monstrous newes came Trundling in my way:
All these, and ten times more, some good, some bad,
I haue from them much obseruation had.
And so with care and study I haue writ
These bookes, the issue of a barren wit.
The most of them are verse, but I suppose,
It is much ease to name them here in prose.

    The names of many of the bookes that I haue written.

  • First, the Sculler.
Vpon Coriat three merry bookes, called
  • Odcombs complaint,
  • Coriats resurrection, and
  • Laugh and be fat.
  • The nipping or snipping of Abuses.
  • Two mad things against Fenor.
  • Taylors Vrania.
  • The marriage of the Princesse.
  • An Elegy on Prince Henry.
  • Two bookes of all the Kings of England.
  • Three weekes, three dayes, and three houres obseruations in Germany.
  • Trauels to Scotland.
  • Trauels to Prague in Bohemia.
  • As Englishmans loue to Bohemia.
  • The Bible in verse.
  • The Booke of Martyrs in verse.
  • The praise of Hempseed.
  • A kicksy winsy.
  • The great O Toole.
  • Iacke a Lent.
  • The praise of Beggery.
  • Taylors Goose.
  • Faire and foule weather.
  • The life and death of the Virgin Mary.
  • The Whip of Pride.
  • And lastly (since the reigne of th' Emperour Otto)
  • Was neuer seene the like of Taylors Motto.
All these, and some which I haue quite forgot,
With care (as is aforesaid) I haue wrote.
I care how to conclude this carefull straine:
In care I care how to get out againe.

58

I care for food and lodging, fire and rayment,
And (what I owe) I care to make good payment.
But most of all I care, and will endeuer
To liue so carefull, that I may liue euer.
Thus without wronging any man a iot,
I shew I haue what euery man hath not:
My wants are such, that I forgiue them free,
That would but steale the most of them from me.
My cares are many, as I here expresse,
Poore couzin Germans vnto carelesnesse.
I haue a knowledge some men will read this,
I want the knowledge how their liking is.
I care in all that I herein haue pend,
To please the good, and shew the bad to mend.
And those that will not thus be satisfi'd,
I haue a spirit that doth them deride.
I flattry want, mens likings to obtaine,
I care to loue those that loue me againe.
Thus be mens iudgements steady or vnsteady
To like my Booke, the care is tane already.
The Prouerb sayes, that haste makes (often) waste,
Then what is waste, impute it to my haste:
This Booke was written (not that here I boast)
Put houres together, in three dayes at most:
And giue me but my breakfast, I'l maintaine,
To write another e'r I eate againe,
But well or ill, or howsoe'r tis pend,
Lik't as you list, and so I make an
END.
 

Strange Eloquence.

Bookes that I haue read of Poesie.

Part of the Bookes of History that I haue read.

I was much beholding to this Emperors name to make vp the meeter.