 | The Grand Comic Christmas Pantomime For 1866 And 1867, of Robin Hood And Ye Merrie Men of Sherwood |  |
27
Scene VII.
GRAND PARLOUR IN THE SHERIFF'S HOUSE.— (By D. Horne.)
Enter Daisy de Bull-beef, much to be pittied.
Air—“Shelling Green Peas.”
Now, list to this ditty of a damsel so pretty,
Who in Nottingham city is reckoned “the cheese;”
My name it is Daisy; I've a father half crazy,
Through often indulgin' in lamb and green peas.
He sadly illtreats me, with a broomstick oft beats me;
In hopes soon to leave him the young men I teaze;
When I goes a-shoppin' I wish they'd be poppin'
The question, as smartly as I “pop” the peas.
Chorus.
Chorus.
—Soon you will see, in “peashusks” to her knees,
This Daisy a martyr to lamb and green peas.
Daisy.
Air—“Shelling Green Peas.”
Now, list to this ditty of a damsel so pretty,
Who in Nottingham city is reckoned “the cheese;”
My name it is Daisy; I've a father half crazy,
Through often indulgin' in lamb and green peas.
He sadly illtreats me, with a broomstick oft beats me;
In hopes soon to leave him the young men I teaze;
When I goes a-shoppin' I wish they'd be poppin'
The question, as smartly as I “pop” the peas.
Chorus.
—Here, then, you sees, but weak in her knees,
A maiden near crippled through shellin' green peas.
A maiden near crippled through shellin' green peas.
One day, getting thinner, I said while at dinner,
“Papa, dear, do take me the wide world to see;
My beauty is wastin', and I would be tastin'
The pleasures of love and of matrimony.”
Says he, “For your flummery you go to a nunnery,
Or out as a governess, if thus me you teaze,
In a family that'll snub you, and grumble to “grub” you;
And you'll wish yourself back again a-shellin' green peas.”
“Papa, dear, do take me the wide world to see;
My beauty is wastin', and I would be tastin'
The pleasures of love and of matrimony.”
Says he, “For your flummery you go to a nunnery,
Or out as a governess, if thus me you teaze,
In a family that'll snub you, and grumble to “grub” you;
And you'll wish yourself back again a-shellin' green peas.”
Chorus.
—Soon you will see, in “peashusks” to her knees,
This Daisy a martyr to lamb and green peas.
Ah, me; my lot's a dreary one indeed.
Time's runnin' on, and so am I to seed.
Oh, could I charm some other swain to woo me,
Now Robin's turned a frosty shoulder to me;
While young Marian—artful creature—'s got the “hot un,”
And upon my blissful hopes has firmly put the pot on.
What could gentle Robin have seen in her?
I'm quite as handsome, and I know I'm slimmer;
He must be in a syncope, by readin' Tupper—
Good gracious! I've forgot my father's supper!
(Prepares supper, and makes a few innocent mistakes.)
The peas are not quite ready—never mind,
They must go in as they are—love is blind.
The fowl must go too, I've no time to draw it,
And if it turns out tough, why, he must knaw it.
In you go!
And there you go!
I'll tidy up the place a bit, and then be sittin';
And, when my daddy comes, he'll find me knitting.
Enter the unlucky Sir Brian and his attendants. Preparations for consolation.
28
My child, my love.
Daisy.
Oh, pa! do mind my dress! It isn't proper.
Sir Brian.
Oh, never mind your dress, let's have some supper.
Hallo! what's this? (cat in the dish).
Miaw!
Daisy
(pathetically).
Oh where, and oh where, has that lovely pullet gone?
Sir Brian.
I'm going to roost.
Daisy.
Take the pullet with you.
Sir Brian.
I want my bath.
Daisy.
Was ever father with his child so cruel?
Sir Brian.
You idle hussy let me have my gruel.
Oh! this is stuff, the worst I ever swallowed.
Sir Brian.
Oh, this poor pate of mine!
Tremuloso.
My shoulders ache.
Daisy.
Oh, pa; I've lost—
Sir Brian.
What bustle you do make!
One fellow's bobbed his finger in my eye.
I think no mortal has such luck as I.
Tremuloso.
My bones are sore.
Sir Brian.
I've got change for my crown.
Tremuloso.
Miss; did you see me knock that fellow down?
Daisy.
No.
Sir Brian.
Oh, what a world! We've nothing but disaster!
Daisy.
Run to Will Brown's, and fetch a yard of plaister.
And, when we've doctored up his broken head,—
Sir Brian.
Let's have some gruel; and we'll go to bed.
Daisy.
And, pa, we'll get hot water for your feet.
Sir Brian.
Hot water, girl; we're hardly out of that.
Daisy.
Pa! Here's your gruel.
Sir Brian.
There, girl; that's the thing!
Tremuloso.
Sir; here's a message, for you, from the king.
Enter Sir Loin de Porc and a Herald.
Sir Loin.
The king commands the Sheriff, and all here,
Before his presence straightway to appear;
For foul defiance, reason there to show,
Of his decision in “re Hood & Co.”
Tremuloso.
Oh; here's a go!
Sir Brian.
We're in for it again.
Tremuloso.
There'll be a precious shindy!
Sir Brian.
Nay; that's plain.
29
Send for a cab, papa! Oh, dear! Oh, lawk!
Sir Brian.
Give me a 'bus, girl! We shall have to walk!
Air—“London, Chatham, and Dover.”
Sir Loin.
Now come, prepare, and don't stand there,
Your feelings you must “smother,”
Like the shareholders who're frettin'
‘Cos they nothing are a-gettin’
By the London, Chatham, and Dover.
Sir Brian.
Go mad at once I know I shall,
With rage I'm boiling over.
Daisy.
Then bust your biler as is often done
Od the Lud-dud, Jat-tab, ad Dover.
Trem. Sir L. & Daisy.
For his rage I don't care
Don't I know 'twill soon be over.
For while he's in his tiffy,
I'll skedaddle in a jiffy,
By the Lud-dud, Jat-tab, and Dover.
Sir Brian.
Then you may despair, and just beware
When I get some straw or clover.
I'll see, though I'm tiffy,
You don't vanish in a jiffy,
By the London, Chatham, and Dover.
Trem. & Sir L.
Of his rage beware; do, pray, take care,
Or with you 'twill soon be over;
Trem. & Sir L.
I'll see, through his tiffy,
You'll not vanish in a jiffy,
By the London, Chatham, and Dover.
Daisy.
(Striking an attitude)
Stay!
(Chord.)
(Mysteriously)
Your wits retain, praps the Chamberlain
Would like to turn a rover;
And if you're all willin', we may get a jolly “livin'”
Od the Lud-dud, Jat-tab, ad Dover.
In the carriages I'll play on the “ole banjo,”
Though the music it will prove a riddle.
While—
Sir L. and Sir B.
We can come out strong with the marrow bones—
Daisy.
And—
Trem.
Tremuloso can play upon the fiddle.
CHORUS.
Daisy.
Then I won't despair, for I've lovely hair;
And when I become a rover,
With my face, black as jet,
I shall soon a lover get
Od the Lud-dud, Jat-tab, ad Dover.
Sir L., Sir B., and Trem.
Then we won't despair, but will take care,
That now our troubles are over
To end our strife and lead a jolly life
On the London, Chatham, and Dover.
| The Grand Comic Christmas Pantomime For 1866 And 1867, of Robin Hood And Ye Merrie Men of Sherwood | |