University of Virginia Library

ACTVS QVARTI.

Sæna prima.

Uandome
solus.
My Sisters Exequies are now performed
VVith such pompe as exprest the excellence
Of her Lords loue to her: And firde the enuie
Of our great Duke, who would haue no man equall
The honour he does t'his adored wife:
And now the Earle (as he hath promist mee)
Is in this sad Cell of my honord Mistresse,
Vrging my loue to faire Euryone,
VVhich I framde, onely to bring him abrode,
And (if it might succeed) make his affectes
VVith change of obiectes, change his helples sorrow
To helpfull loue. I stood where I obserud
Their wordes and lookes, and all that past betwixt them:
And shee hath with such cunning borne her selfe,
In fitting his affection, with pretending
Her mortified desires: her onely loue
To Vertue and her louers: and, in briefe,
Hath figurd with such life my deare dead Sister,
Enchasing all this, with her heightned Beautie,
That I beleeue she hath entangld him,
And wonn successe to our industrious plot.
If he be toucht, I know it greiues his soule,
That hauing vndertane to speake for mee,
(Imagining my loue was as I fainde)
His owne loue to her, should enforce his tongue
To court her for himselfe, and deceaue mee:
By this time, we haue tried his passionate blood:
If he be caught (as heauen vouchsafe he be)
Ile play a little with his Phantasie.

Enter St. Anne.
S. Anne.
Am I alone? Is there no Eye nor Eare
That doth obserue mee? Heauen how haue I graspt,
My Spirrits in my hart, that would haue burst
To giue wisht issue to any violent loue?
Dead Wife excuse me, since I loue thee still,
That liu'st in her, whom I must loue for thee:
For he that is not mou'd with strongest passion
In viewing her; that man did ne're know thee:
Shee's thy suruiuing Image: But woo's mee;
Why am I thus transported past my selfe?

Uan.
Oh, are your dull vxorious spirrits raisd?
One madnesse doth be get another still.

St. Anne.

But stay, Aduise mee Soule; why didst thou light me
ouer this threshold? was't to wrong my Brother?

To wrong my, Wife, in wronging of my Brother?
Ile die a miserable man: No villane:
Yet in this case of loue, who is my Brother?
Who is my Father? Who is any kinn?
I care not, I am nearest to my selfe:
I will pursue my Passion; I will haue her.

Uan.
Traytor, I heere arrest thee in the names
Of Heauen, and Earth, and deepest Achiron:
Loues traytor, Brothers; traytor to thy Wife.

S. Anne.
O Brother, stood you so neare my dishonour?
Had you forborne awhile, all had been changd:
You know the variable thoughts of Loue,
You know the vse of Honour, that will euer
Retire into it selfe; and my iust blood
Shall rather flow with Honour then with Loue:
Be you a happie Louer, I a friend,
For I will die for loue of her and thee.

Uand.
My Lord and brother, Ile not challenge more,
In loue and kindnes then my loue desernes,
That you haue found one whom your hart can like:
And that One, whom we all sought to preferre,
To make you happie in a life renewde:
It is a heauen to mee, by how much more
My hart imbrac't you for my Sisters loue:
Tis true, I did dissemble loue t'Euryone.
To make you happie in her deare affection,
Who more dotes on you, then you can on her:
Enioy Euryone, shee is your owne,
The same that euer my deare Sister was:
And heauen blesse both your loues as I release
All my faind loue, and interest to you.

S. Anne.
How Noblie hath your loue deluded mee?
How iustlie haue you beene vniust to mee?
Let mee embrace the Oracle of my good,
The Aucthor and the Patron of my life.

Uand.
Tush, betwixt vs my Lord, what need these tearmes?
As if we knew not one another yet?
Make speed my Lord, and make your Nuptials short,
As they are sodaine blest in your desires,

S. Anne.
Oh I wish nothing more then lightning hast.

Uan.
Stay, one word first my Lord; You are a sweet brother
To put in trust, and woo loue for another?

S. Anne.
Pray thee no more of that.

Vand.
Well then be gone,
Exit S. Anne.
my Lord, her brother comes.

Enter Vaum.
Vaum.
Most happie Friend,
How hath our plot succeeded?

Uand.
Hee's our owne.
His blood was framde for euerie shade of vertue,
To rauish into true inamourate fire:
The Funerall of my Sister must be held
With all solemnitie, and then his Nuptialls,
With no lesse speed and pompe be celebrate.

Vaum.
What wonders hath your fortunate spirrite & vertues
Wrought to our comforts? Could you crowne th'enchantments
Of your diuine Witte with another Spell,
Of powre to bring my Wife out of her Cell,
You should be our quicke Hermes, our Alcides.

Uand.
Thats my next lobour: come my Lord, your selfe
Shall stand vnseene, and see by next morns light
(Which is her Beddtime) how my Braines-bould valoure
Will rouse her from her vowes seueritie:
No Will, nor Powre, can withstand Pollicie.

Exit.
Enter D'oliue, Pacque, Dique.
D'ol.
Welcome little Witts, are you hee my Page Pacque here
Makes choice of, to be his fellow Coch-horse?

Diq.
I am my Lord.

D'ol.
What Countrie man?

Diq.
Borne i'th Cittie.

Pac.

But be got i'th Court: I can tell your Lordship, he hath
had as good Court breeding, as anie Impe in a Countrie:
If your Lordship please to examine him in anie part of the
Court Accidence, from a Noune to an Interiection, Ile vndertake
you shall finde him sufficient.

D'ol.

Saist thou so little Witt: Why then Sir, How manie
Pronounes be there?

Diq.

Faith my Lord there are more, but I haue learned but
three sorts; the Goade, the Fulham, and the Stop-kater-tre;
which are all demonstratiues, for heere they be: There are
Relatiues too, but they are nothing without their Antecedents.

D'ol.

Well said, little Witt I'faith. How manie Antecedents
are there?

Diq.

Faith my Lord, their number is vncertaine; but they
that are, are either Squires, or Gentlemen vshers.

D'ol.

Verie well said: when all is done, the Court is the
onely Schoole of good education; especially for Pages and
Waighting women; Paris, or Padua, or the famous Schoole
of England called Winchester, famous (I meane) for the Goose,
Where Schollers weare Petticoates so long, till their Penn and
Inckhorns knocke against their knees: All these I say, are but
Belfries to the Bodie or Schoole of the Court: Hee that would
haue his Sonne proceed Doctor in three dayes, let him sende
him thither; there's the Forge to fashion all the parts of them:
There they shall learne the true vse of their good Partes
indeed.

Pac.

Well my Lord, you haue said well for the Court,
What sayes your Lordshippe now to vs Courtiers, Shall we goe
the voyage?

D'ol.

My little Hermophrodites, I entertaine you heere into
my Chamber; and if need be, nearer: your seruice you know.
I will not promise Mountaines, nor assure you Annuities of
fourtie or fiftie Crownes; in a word, I will promise nothing:
but I will be your good Lord, do you not doubt.

Diq.

We do not my Lord, but are sure you will shew your
selfe Noble: and as you promise vs nothing, so you will Honorably
keepe promise with vs, and giue vs nothing.

D'ol.

Prettie littie Witt, y'faith; Can he verse?

Pac.

I and sett too, my Lord; Hee's both a Setter and a
Verser.

D'ol.

Prettie in faith; but I meane, has he a vaine Naturall?

Pac.

O my Lord, it comes from him as easelie,

Diq.

As Suites from a Courtier, without money: or money
from a Cittizen without securitie, my Lord.

D'o.

Wel, I perceiue nature has suited your Witts; & Ile suite
you in Guarded coates, answerable to your Witts: for Witt's as
sutable to guarded Coates, as Wisedome is to welted Gownes.
My other Followers Horse themselues; my selfe will horse you.
And now tell me (for I will take you into my bosome) What's
the opinion of the many headed Best touching my new adition

of Honour?

Diq.

Some thinke, my Lord, it hath giuen you adition of
pride, and outercuidance.

D'ol.

They are deceaud that thinke so: I must confesse, it
would make a Foole proude; but for me, I am semperidem.

Pac.

We beleeue your Lordship.

D'ol.

I finde no alteration in my selfe in the world, for I am
sure I am no wiser then I was, when I was no Lord, nor no
more bountifull, nor no more honest; onely in respect of my
staie, I assume a kinde of State; to receiue Suters now, with
the Nodd of Nobilitie; not (as before) with the Cappe of
courtesie; the knee of Knighthood: And why knee of Knighthood,
little Witte? there's another Question for your Court
Accidence.

Diq.

Because Gentlemen, or Yoemen, or Pessantes, or so,
receiue Knighthood on their knees.

Pac.

The signification of the Knee of Knighthood in
Heraldie an't please your Lordship, is, that Knights are tyed in
honour to fight vp to the knees in blood, for the defence of faire
Ladyes.

D'ol.

Verie good: but if it be so, what honour doe they deserue,
that purchase their Knighthood?

Diq.

Purchase their Knighthood my Lord? Mary I thinke
they come truely by't, for they pay well for't.

D'ol.

You cut mee off by the knees, little Witte: but I say,
(if you will heare mee) that if they deserue to be Knighted,
that purchase their Knighthood with fighting vp to the knee,
What doe they deserue, that purchase their Knighthood with
fighting aboue the knee?

Pac.

Mary my Lord, I say the purchase is good, if the conueyance
will hold water.

D'ol.

VVhy this is excellent: by heauen twentie poundes
annuitie shal not purchase you from my heeles. But foorth nowe
VVhat is the opinion of the world touching this new Honour
of mine? Doe not Fooles enuie it?

Diq.

No my Lord, but wise men wonder at it: you hauing
so buried your wisedome heretofore in Tauerns, and Vaulting-houses,

that the world could neuer discouer you to be capable
of Honour.

D'ol.

As though Achilles could hide himselfe vnder a Womans
clothes: was he not discouered at first? This Honor is
like a Woman, or a Crocadile (chuse you whether) it flies them
that follow it; and followes them that flie it: For my selfe, how
euer my worth, for the time kept his bedd; yet did I euer prophecie
to my selfe that it would rise, before the Sun-set of my
dayes: I did euer dreame, that this head was borne to beare a
breadth, this shoulder to support a State, this face to looke bigg,
this bodie to beare a presence, these feete were borne to be
reuellers, and these Calues were borne to be Courtiers: In a
word, I was borne Noble, and I will die Noblie: neither shall
my Nobilitie perish with death; after ages shall resounde the
memorie thereof, while the Sunne sets in the East, or the Moone
in the West.

Pac.

Or the Seuen Starres in the North.

D'ol.

The Siege of Bullaine shall be no more a landmarke
for Times: Agen court Battaile, S. Iames his Fielde, the losse of
Calice, & the winning of Cales, shal grow out of vse: Men shal
reckon their yeares, Women their mariages, from the day of
our Ambassage: As, I was borne, or married two, three, or foure
yeares before the great Ambassage. Farmers shall count their
Leases from this day, Gentlemen their Morgages from this
day: Saint Dennis shall be rac't out of the Kallender, and the
day of our Enstalment enterd in redd letters: And as St. Ualentines
day is fortunate to choose Louers, St. Lukes to choose
Husbandes; So shall this day be to the choosing of Lordes:
It shall be a Critticall day, a day of Note: In that day it shall be
good to quarrell, but not to fight: They that Marrie on that
day, shall not repent; marie the morrow after perhappes they
may: It shall be holsome to beat a Sergeant on that day: Hee
that eates Garlicke on that morning, shall be a rancke Knaue
till night.

Diq.

What a day will this be, if it hold?

D'ol.

Hold? S'foote it shall hold, and shall be helde sacred
to immortalitie: let all the Chroniclers, Ballet makers, and

Almanackmungers, do what they dare.

Enter Rhoderique.
Rhod.

S'foote (my Lord) al's dasht, your voyage is ouerthrowne.

D'ol.

What ayles the franticke Tro?

Rhod.

The Lady is entoombde, that was the Subiect of your
Ambassage: and your Ambassage is beraid.

Pac.

Dido is dead, and wrapt in lead.

Di.

O heauy herse!

Pac.

Your Lordships honor must waite vpon her.

Dig.

O scuruy verse! Your Lordship's welcome home: pray
let's walke your horse my Lord.

D'ol.

A prettie gullery. Why my little wits, doe you beleeue
this to be true?

Pac.

For my part my Lord, I am of opinion you are guld.

Dig.

And I am of opinion that I am partly guiltie of the
same.

Enter Muge.
Muge.

Where's this Lord foole here? S'light you haue
made a prettie peece of seruice an't: raised vp all the countrey
in gold lace and feathers; and now with your long stay, there's
no employment for them.

D'ol.

Good still.

Mug.

S'light I euer tooke thee to be a hammer of the right
feather: but I durst haue layed my life, no man could euer haue
cramd such a Gudgeon as this downe the throate of thee: To
create thee a Christmas Lord, and make thee laughter for the
whole Court: I am ashamde of my selfe that euer I chusde
such a Grosseblocke to whet my wits on.

D'ol.

Good wit yfaith.

I know all this is but a gullery now: But since you haue
presumde to go thus farre with me, come what can come to the
State, sincke or swimme, Ile be no more a father to it, nor the
Duke; nor for the world wade one halfe steppe further in the
action.

Pac.

But now your Lordship is gone, what shall become of
your followers?

D'ol.

Followers? let them follow the Court as I haue done:
there let them raise their fortunes: if not, they know the way to
the pettie Brokers, there let them shift and hang.

Exit cum suis.
Rhod.

Here we may strike the Plaudite to our Play, my Lord
foole's gone: all our audience will forsake vs.

Mug.

Page, after, and call him againe.

Rho.

Let him go: Ile take vp some other foole for the Duke
to employ: euery Ordinary affoords fooles enow: and didst not
see a paire of Gallants sit not far hence like a couple of Boughpots
to make the roome smell?

Mug.

Yes, they are gone: But what of them?

Rhod.

Ile presse them to the Court: or if neede be, our Muse
is not so barren, but she is able to deuise one tricke or other to
retire D'oliue to Court againe.

Mug.

Indeed thou toldst me how gloriously he apprehended
the fauour of a great Lady ith Presence, whose hart (he said)
stood a tipto in her eye to looke at him.

Rhod.

Tis well remembred.

Mug.

O, a Loue-letter from that Ladie would retriue him
as sure as death.

Rhod.

It would of mine honor: Weele faine one from her
instantly: Page, fetch pen and inke here.

Exit Pag.
Mug.

Now do you & your Muse engender: my barren skonce
shall prompt something.

Rhod.

Soft then: The Lady Ieronime, who I said viewed him
so in the Presence, is the Venus that must enamour him: Weele
go no further for that. But in what likenesse must he come to the
Court to her now? As a Lord he may not: in any other shape
he will not.

Mug.

Then let him come in his owne shape like a gull.

Rhod.

Well, disguisde he shall be: That shall be his mistrisses
direction: this shall be my Helicon: and from this quiuer will I
draw the shaft that shall wound him.

Mug.

Come on: how wilt thou begin?

Rhod.

Faith thus: Dearely Beloued.

Mug.

Ware ho, that's prophane.

Rhod.

Go to then: Diuine D'oliue: I am sure that's not prophane.

Mug.

Well, forward.

Rhod.

I see in the powre of thy beauties.

Mug.

Breake of your period, and say, Twas with a sigh.

Rhod.

Content: here's a full pricke stands for a teare too.

Mug.

So, now take my braine.

Rhod.

Poure it on.

Mug.

I talke like a foole, but alas thou art wise and silent.

Rhod.

Excellent: And the more wise, the more silent.

Mug.

That's something common.

Rhod.

So should his mistris be.

Mug.

That's true indeed: Who breakes way next?

Rhod.

That will I sir: But alas, why art not thou noble, that
thou mightst match me in Blood?

Mug.

Ile answer that for her.

Rhod.

Come on.

Mug.

But thou art noble, though not by birth, yet by
creation.

Rhod.

Thats not amisse: forth now: Thy wit proues thee to
be a Lord, thy presence showes it: O that word Presence, has
cost me deare.

Mug.

Well said, because she saw him ith Presence.

Rhod.

O do but say thou lou'st me.

Mug.

Soft, there's too many OOs.

Rhod.

Not a whit: O's but the next doore to P. And his
mistris may vse her O with with modestie: or if thou wilt, Ile stop
it with another brachish teare.

Mug.

No, no, let it runne on.

Rhod.

O do but say thou lou'st me, and yet do not neither,
and yet do.

Mug.

Well said, let that last stand, let him doe in any case:
now say thus, do not appeare at Court.

Rhod.

So.

Mug.

At least in my companie.

Rhod.

Well.

Mug.

At lest before folkes.

Rhod.

Why so?

Mug.

For the flame will breake forth.

Rhod.

Go on: thou doest well.

Mug.

Where there is fire ith harth:

Rhod.

What then?

Mug.

There will be smoke ith chimney.

Rhod.

Forth.

Mug.

Warme, but burne me not: theres reason in all
things.

Rhod.

Well said, now doe I vie it: Come to my chamber betwixt
two and three.

Mug.

A very good number.

Rho.

But walk not vnder my window: if thou doest, come disguisde:
in any case weare not thy tuft taffeta cloke: if thou doest,
thou killest me.

Mug.

Well said, now to the L'envoye.

Rhod.

Thine, if I were worth ought; and yet such, as it skils
not whose I am if I be thine; Ieronime: Now for a fit Pandar to
transport it, and haue at him.

Exeunt.