University of Virginia Library

'TWAS THY SMILE.

'Twas thy smile, oh! thou false one! who lov'st me not now,
Which burst the first buds Passion wreathed round my brow,
The first faint folded buds which unopened await
The sunshine of Fortune, the spring-smile of Fate!
'Twas thy smile, oh! the brightest that e'er beamed on earth,
Which first woke these fair buds into beautiful birth;
Around thee there streamed a fine atmosphere bright,
An atmosphere rife with Heaven's own precious light;
This thou seemedest to breathe round thee gloriously still,
Oh! how could I then think 'twould but end in dark ill,
So lovely wert thou—and so lovely seemed Love,
A glory—a rapture—sent down from above.
How I worshipped that smile which on me deigned to beam
Beyond all that the wildest of fancies could dream!
Shun Memory!—Oh! shun that dark, death-like Despair,
Which crushed me when Love's hope first melted in air,
When first my soul lost its Life's sweet crowning light,
And my Being was bowed as beneath some harsh blight,
When my heart seemed to lose its own deep, vital spring,
And my hopes and my joys in a moment took wing!
Shun Memory!—Ah! shun that dark hour of Despair,
So fatal, so fell—when Life's paths once so fair,
Were o'erclouded by anguish, and shadowed by fear,
And all grew most deadly that once was most dear.
On that heavy despair, Memory, dwell not in gloom,
Which broke in black horrors like shadows of Doom
Around me, and burst on my shocked, startled sight,
Like the terrible frown of a wild storm-rack'd Night!
Thou wert beautiful ev'n as some bright dream of old
On the minds of the love-inspired sculptors unrolled,
When they stood as entranced—earnest, fervent, and lone,
And burnt their deep souls through the fine featured stone—
How thy Beauty shone down on my soul bright and clear,
And each moment then made thee more utterly dear;
But I found thee ere long yet more faithless than fair,
And my hopes and my joys all were melted in air!
Oh! my Love it was but like a dream of the heart,
Then let it be dream-like—so dream-like depart!
And, alas! without joy, without strength, trust, or hope,
With all Life's wond'rous mysteries henceforth must I cope?
And my heart was so joyous—my soul was so free,
It was once such a bliss—such a rapture—to be—
But the canker can ruin the freshest of flowers
That perfume the breeze in the Summer's glad hours;
The cloud-shadows dim ev'n the fair dazzling snow,
O'er which nothing beside may one soiling stain throw—
Oh! once my Soul's Sea of deep waves, full and strong,
Seemed rolling in freedom and gladness along,
All brightened and smoothed by pure exquisite love,
Till they answered the Heaven that was shining above.
Oh! once, once I felt not—in Hope's cloudless day—
The wearisome contact with Earth and with clay;
But now every light that once lit my young path
Is hidden by shadows of terror and wrath;
Every wreath that I wore is now faded and changed,
And from freedom and gladness my soul is estranged.
The crown of Life's joys is now crushed with dismay,
And each gem and each star-spark hath fallen away!
And Love's bright dazzling moments for ever are past—
Oh! would that their memory might fade off as fast!
'Twas thy smile! 'twas thy smile! oh thou false one, as fair—
That first taught me to breathe Passion's exquisite air!
'Twas thy smile! Oh the loveliest that e'er wakened Love!
That first bade me Devotion's deep ardours to prove—
'Twas that smile which bade Nature all suddenly start
Into life yet more splendid—the life of the Heart!
For all things! yea, all things! in the earth, in the air—
At once seemed one feeling profoundly to share.
'Twas the feast of the feelings—the sway of the soul—
And one sense seemed to kindle up Nature's vast whole.
If these memories—so vain and so vivid—must last—
Let me know—let me feel—let me breathe but the past—
Let me see but thy smile in my soul stamped and set,
Still remember the Past—but the Present forget!