 | CHAPTER IV. Master William Mitten, or, A youth of brilliant talents, who was ruined by bad luck |  |
4. CHAPTER IV.
Dr. Twattle deported himself to the entire satisfaction of Mrs.
Mitten for six months. He had not been in her house one month,
before he completely captivated the whele family. So dignified and
easy was he in his manners, so neat in his person, so courteous and
respectful to the ladies, so rich in knowledge, so pleasant in anecdote,
so attentive to his business, and so careless of sordid lucre—in short,
so perfectly did he come up to the Mitten-standard of the gentleman
and the scholar, that he was soon admitted to all the rights, privileges
and immunities of a near connection, in the family. The girls called
him Uncle Twatt William called him Father Twaddy. And Mrs.
Mitten called him Good Man, and Good Doctor, and burdened him
with delicacies for the palate. The Captain watched him closely;
but was constrained to say, greatly to the delight of his sister, that
he didn't know but that he had misjudged the man. “Certainly,”
added he, “if he is an imposter, he is the most accomplished one
that I ever met with; and I have seen not a few.”
“And now, brother,” said Mrs. M., “I hope you'll acknowledge
that for once in your life, I was right and you were wrong.”
“Not yet, Anna. Any rogue may be clever for a few months. I
will admit, however, that he does better than I expected, even thus
far.”
The Doctor's first quarter's salary was paid; and he laid it nearly
all out in presents for Mrs. Mitten, her daughters and son.
“Good Doctor,” said she, “if you could turn these things to any
use, I would insist upon your keeping them; for it looks like down
right robbery to take them from your scanty means.”
“I only regret that my scanty means in hand will not allow me to
double them, Mrs. Mitten.”
“How would you do in case of sickness or misfortune?”
“I have had for many years a little fund laid up to meet these
contingencies—some ten or twelve thousand dollars, or such a matter.
This, small as it is, will bear me through a long spell of sickness
gently to the grave; or keep me above want, should I linger on the
shores of time after I become too old to be useful, or to labor in my
vocation. When thrown upon that fund, I shall change my character—my
liberality will end; but until forced upon it, why desire to
living without it, that I hardly count it as a part of my estate. It
might as well not be, for I shall probably die before I need it, and I
certainly never shall touch it until I do need it. For several years
I have not even drawn the interest upon it.”
“Suppose you were to die suddenly, to whom would you leave it?”
“To some of the many beloved pupils whom I have taught; or to
some one that I might be teaching when death arrests me.”
“Have you no near connections, Doctor?”
“None nearer than fourth cousins, madam; and these are so
profligate and abandoned, particularly the one who bears my name,
that I never wish to see them again.”
“Were you never married, Doctor?”
“Yes, madam, for a short time; but—”
“Pardon me, Doctor, for touching that tender chord. I see that
I have inadvertently revived long buried griefs.”
“You are very excusable, madam—your question was a very
natural one in its place. At another time I will give you the history
of my married life, as long as my dear Anna lived. For the present,
suffice it to say that the little pittance of which I was just speaking
came by her; and upon her death, I set it apart as a consecrated
fund, never to be touched, while I could live without it. You have
here another and the principal reason why I never speak of that fund
as my own. But I have yet another: If the world knew of it, I
should be harrassed and have my feelings lacerated incessantly and
insufferably, with idle questions about my manner of life, while I
have the means to live without labor, as though it were not every
man's duty to labor in some useful calling, while he is able to do it.”
“I fully approve your conduct, Doctor; and I shall keep sacred
the secret which my reprehensible curiosity has dragged from you.”
“Thank you, madam; but pray take no blame to yourself for your
curiosity; it rose as naturally from the current of your conversation
as the bubble rises from the agitated fountain.”
Mrs. Mitten possessed too kind a heart to receive presents from
the Doctor without returning them with interest.
At the end of the first month, Mrs. Mitten proposed to give a
large tea-party, for the express purpose of introducing the Doctor to
the villagers, male and female; but he begged her not to do it. “I
cannot,” said he, “reciprocate hospitalities, and I should be pained
to receive attentions which I cannot return. I am fond of company,
than seek it.”
“I have noticed that, Doctor. You hardly ever leave the house
in the day time, while you often take recreation-rambles at night.”
“Just so, madam; but there is a better reason than that: the day
is yours, (or your son's); the night is mine.”
Considering that William never rose till breakfast time in the
morning, and was out almost every night to a late hour, he made very
rapid progress in his studies under Doctor Twattle. His mother had
committed him to the entire direction of his teacher, and as night was
the recreation hour, he could not object to his pupil's following his
example.
A little incident occurred in the first month of the Doctor's
tutorship which must not be passed over in silence, as it produced
important results in the end.
One morning Mrs. Glib called on Mrs. Mitten, and, after the usual
salutations and interrogatories, said:
“I am told Mrs. Mitten that you are delighted with your new
teacher.”
“I am, indeed,” said Mrs. M.
“Well, I've come over to see if he can't take my boys too. They
and William have become so much attached to one another, that it
seems a pity to separate them. I have discovered” (lowering her
voice to a confidential pitch) “that Mr. Toper drinks. That good
brother of yours spoke but too truly when he charged Mr. Toper with
drinking. Now, I will pay three-fourths of Dr. Twattle's salary if
he will take my boys in with William; and that will bring William's
tuition down to almost nothing.”
“But will you board the Doctor three-fourths of the time?”
“Certainly I will.”
“But he will not be willing to teach four boys for the price he gets
for one.”
“Well, I'll let his wages stand at what they are; and I will double
them for my three boys, and board him half the time.”
“But how will we do? I can't consent for William to go to your
house to be taught.”
“Well, the teaching may all be done at your house.”
“But I know that Doctor Twattle would not be willing to come
from your house to mine to teach.”
“Well, then, he may stay altogether at yours, and I will pay part
of his board.”
“Oh, Mrs. Glib, I couldn't think of taking pay for board from
you.”
“Well, what plan would you suggest. It's cruel to part the boys,
for they can hardly live out of each other's sight.”
“I really do not see how it will be possible to arrange it—I don't
think it can possibly be done.”
“Suppose you invite him down, Mrs. Mitten; and let us talk over
the whole matter, and see if we can't fix it so that the boys may be
together.”
To this proposition Mrs. Mitten readily assented, for she was very
confident that Doctor Twattle would not, upon any terms, consent to
take the young Glibs. Accordingly, he was invited down, and introduced
to Mrs. Glib.
“I have called, Doctor,” said Mrs. Glib, “to see if you would not
be willing to take my three boys under your instruction with Master
William. Mrs. Mitten and I are like sisters, and our children like
brothers, and if you would consent to take my children, you would
greatly accommodate us all round.”
“Certainly, madam,” said the Doctor, “if Mrs. Mitten desires it,
I will take them with pleasure; but being under contract with her, I
can of course do nothing without her consent.”
“But how could it be arranged, Doctor?”
“Just as you and Mrs. Glib may choose.”
“Would you be willing to board part of the time with Mrs. Glib?”
“I would rather not change my boarding house; but if Mrs
Mitten desires it, I will even do that.”
“Oh, no, Doctor, I do not desire to put you to that inconvenience;
besides I should feel that I was violating my contract if I did not
board you all the time!”
“Well, then, Doctor, how would this suit? You board here all the
time, and I pay Mrs. Mitten half your board?”
“Very well, indeed, madam. I should prefer that to moving from
house to house.”
“But I couldn't take money from Mrs. Glib, Doctor, for board.
And suppose we were to make that arrangement, how would it be as
to tuition? I suppose you would ask four times as much for teaching
four as you do for teaching one.”
“That would be equitable; but I will not stickle about prices, if I
can accommodate the friend of one who has been such a kind friend
to me, as Mrs. Mitten has been.”
“But where would you teach, Doctor? At my house or Mrs.
Glib's?”
“Just as you may say, Mrs. Mitten.”
“So you see, Cousin Mit,” (so Mrs. G. in her playful moods called
Mrs. Mitten) “that the whole matter is in your hands, and you are
to say whether my poor boys are to get an education or not.”
“Just here, when Mrs. Mitten was getting into an inextricable
entanglement, a bright thought struck her, which relieved her from
all difficulty, and in the transports of which she compromised her
piety a little.
“Well,” said she, “we can arrange this matter satisfactorily, provided
brother David will give his consent that Doctor Twattle shall
take other children under his charge besides William. But you
know, Doctor, that he has had the whole management of this business
in his own hands, and I would not dare to move an inch in it without
his consent. I will submit the matter to him, and if he consents, I
will most cheerfully consent that you take Mrs. Glib's sons under
your instruction.”
“Oh, well,” said Mrs. Glib, “I have no fear but that he will give
his consent. You know Mrs. Mitten he stepped forward, unasked, to
assist my children, upon no other condition than that they gave him
a promise: and that promise they have all kept most honorably and
religiously.”
“Very well; whatever brother David says I will do Mrs. Glib;
that I will promise you.”
“And whatever Mrs. Mitten says,” said the Doctor, “I will do.”
“I shall see brother David to-day, Mrs. Glib, and let you know to-morrow
what he says.”
Here the company separated, all perfectly satisfied.
“Well, certainly,” soliloquized Mrs. Mitten, when Mrs. Glib left
the house, “that is the most trying woman that ever was born. She
keeps me everlastingly in hot water. Cousin Mit!”
It was not until the next morning that brother David appeared at
his sister's. He had no sooner arrived than Mrs. Mitten made
known the desires of Mrs. Glib.
“Oh, yes,” said he, “take the angels by all means!”
“But I wish you to be serious, brother. Mrs. Glib has my pledge
that the matter shall be submitted to you, and I have promised her to
abide by your decision.”
“You have! Well, tell Mrs. Glib that I am perfectly delighted
at the idea of having my nephew in constant association with her
opportunity of advancing the interest of my nephew, I will send the
young gentlemen to school every day in my carriage—Good morning,
sister.”
“Stop brother—if you have any regard for me, don't leave me
with such a message to Mrs. Glib”—Lord bless my soul and body,
yonder she is coming now! Brother David! Brother, if you have
one particle of love or respect for your poor widowed sister come
back”
“Well, what do you want?”
“Do you seriously desire me to bear that message to Mrs. Glib?
I know you do not. Then speak with your usual frankness.”
“Well, you are certainly the strangest woman that ever was born.
You are forever asking my advice, and never taking it. I had almost
resolved to give you no more advice; but as you seem afflicted
by this, I'll reverse it; which I do seriously. Tell Mrs. Glib that I
object to Twattle's taking any more children while he is under contract
to teach William alone—I will not have his attentions divided.
And tell her, moreover, that I had just as lief see a polecat, a rattlesnake
and a hyena come into the house as her three children.”
“Now, you've gone too far again! Do, my dear brother, revoke
the last part—see, she's most here”—
“Very well, I revoke it. Good morning!”
He had not left the house two minutes before Mrs. Glib entered it.
“Well,” said she, “I saw your brother retire as I came up, and
I suppose you know his will concerning the boys?”
“Oh, yes, Mrs. Glib; and he won't hear to the Doctor's taking
any more children while he is under contract to William. He
wishes William to have all his attentions.”
“He does!” said Mrs. G., biting her lip and patting her foot.
“Yes, ma'am. He seemed very positive.”
“I suppose that gives you very great pain—Good morning, Mrs.
Mitten!”
“Why, you're not going so soon!”
“Yes, madam; I just run over to know Capt. Thompson's edicts.
“Now, we've to have new trouble?” mused Mrs. M. as Mrs. G.
left the house. And she hit it exactly. In less than three months
after this date, a very strange report was whispered about in secret
places of the village. And what, gentle reader, do you think it was?
“Why that Twattle was courting the widow Mitten.” No, that was
not it; but that the widow Mitten was courting Twattle!! It was a
anybody—i. e., matrimonially.
About a month before the first term of Doctor Twattle's service
expired, he spent several evenings with Mrs. Glib, who, the reader
has long since discovered, (though I believe I forgot to tell him so,)
was a widow too. Her given name was Bridget; but not liking it as
she grew up, she added an “a” to it, so as to make it more romantic.
She was rich, and for her years remarkably handsome.
In these visits Mrs. Glib offered the Doctor many inducements to
close his contract with Mrs. Mitten at the end of his engagement,
and make a more advantageous one with her. How the Doctor received
her overtures is not known; but it is certain that Mrs. Glib
cherished the idea that after another short engagement with Mrs.
Mitten, he would be at her service; an idea that was strengthened
by the fact that when he came to renew his engagement he limited
it to only four months.
It was not without alarms that Mrs. Mitten observed the growing
intimacy of Mrs. Glib and Dr. Twattle; and when he limited the
time of his second engagement to four months, instead of a year or
more, as she had expected, her alarms were increased. No change,
however, was observed in the Doctor's conduct; and nothing of
higher interest occurred for the first two months, than, that Mrs.
Mitten in taking one of Master William's coats to mend, found a
pack of cards in one of the pockets, which discovery she reported to
his teacher, who promised to cure him of all love of cards by parental
reproof and kind counsels.
The third month of the second term had just passed, when a report
spread all over the village that Doctor Twattle and Mrs. Mitten
were certainly engaged to be married. It no sooner reached her
brother's ears than he hastened to her, to put her upon her guard,
lest in her well known admiration of the Doctor, she might say or do
something tending to encourage the report. To his surprise, he
found her unmoved by her brother's disclosure. “If people choose
to talk about me,” said she, “let them talk. It would be no discredit
to me to marry such a man as Doctor Twattle, I'm sure, for he
has every quality that any woman could desire in a husband, and not
a fault that I have been enabled to discover.”
“Where is he?” said the Captain, “I'll pack him off, if it costs
me my life.”
“And if we were going to be married, do you think that would
stop it? I assure you it would not.”
“Very well, take your course! I see plainly the report is
true. I have one piece of advice to give you, and it is the last that
I ever expect to give you. Have your property secured to yourself
and your children. If you don't, every shilling of it will go to him
as soon as you are married; and do not beggar yourself and them to
enrich a stranger.”
“Rest assured, if we get married, that will be done; and if it
were not, the good Doctor would not touch one dollar of it without
my consent. Of this I have the most satisfactory proof. But I
have heard him say, that if he should ever marry again, while he
would have no woman who would not trust her property, with her
person to his care, yet that when both were committed to his charge,
he would always consider the wife as his, but the property as hers;
and for fear of accidents, he would immediately afterwards settle her
property on her. Not before, because there would be no merit in
doing it then, and great demerit in his betrothed to request it.”
“Why, Anna, he's a scoundrel as sure as you are born, and I feel
strongly tempted to cut his throat. If you're bent upon marrying
him, as I see you are, let me bring a lawyer here and have your
property secured to you immediately.”
“What is the use of doing that, when it is certain that he'll make
no such contract?”
“And, therefore, you're going to marry him without one?”
“Yes, but I'm not going to lose my property for all that, brother.
I know Doctor Twattle much better than you know him; and if I
were at liberty to give you his history, you would not even ask me
to require a marriage-contract of him—I know you would not.”
Just here the young ladies, who had overheard the conversation,
made their appearance in tears.
“I would,” said Miss Jane, “rather Ma should marry Uncle
Twattle than anybody else, if she will marry, but I never can see
my poor dear father's place—”
“Hold your tongue!” said Mrs. M., sharply.
“Ma, you can't blame us,” said Miss Ann, “for not wishing to
see our dear departed father's—”
“Hush, I tell you! and speak when you're spoken to.”
“Oh, sister,” said the Captain, “do let the children have their
opinions: I should think they might express their opinions of even
Mr. Saint Twattle, without having their heads snapped off.”
Mrs. M. was in no humor for this retort just at this time, and she
many long years.
“Well,” said she, “I'm my own mistress, and I'll marry who I
please, if all the brothers and children in the world should oppose
it.” So saying she hurried from the room.
“Well, young ladies, I hope you've got a teacher to your liking
now!” said the Captain.
The girls each seized a hand of the Captain, and begged his forgiveness
for opposing his advice to their mother, and promised more
for the future than the Captain could have required. He withdrew
his right hand from Anna's embrace, and turned his eyes away from
them, as if looking for something that he did'nt wish to find, and with
his middle finger pressed something from both, that he manifestly
wished to conceal.
“Oh, my dearest, dearest uncle,” said Jane, “our father, our
only, our best counsellor! Will you not do something to stop this
match?”
“I don't know what I can do,” said the Captain, striving to dissipate
or hide his feelings by rough words, “unless it is to cut the
scoundrel's throat, to which I feel strongly tempted.”
“No, uncle, no. Use no violence—”
Here William came in whistling “Yankee Doodle.”
“You young scoundrel!” said the Captain, “you've brought
things to a pretty pass! Would God you had died at your birth.”
“Why, what have I done, uncle?”
“You've filled your mother's heart with anguish ever since you
quit Markham's school; and you've brought into the house a man
who is going to beggar her and all her children.”
“I did'nt bring him, uncle. You know I was willing to go back
to Mr. Markham.”
“Well, to do you justice—but what have you been at ever since!
Disturbing prayer-meetinsg, you—little rascal, and running into
all manner of iniquities! You'll come to the gallows as sure as your
name's Bill Mitten, you young dog! Do you know your mother's
going to marry Twattle?”
“Yes, sir; he told me about it long ago; but said he would'nt do
it if I objected—”
“If you objected! If you objected. And I suppose your Royal
Majesty gave your consent?”
“I told him,” said Bill, with humility, for he had never seen his
and Ma loved him as much as he said they did—”
“Clear out of the house, you young rascal, or I'll—” (Bill
scampered.) “Don't you see the deep, designing knave and hypocrite,
in everything he does! Using a child—his pupil—. I'll
smoke the viper out of his hole!” so saying he rushed up to Twattle's
room amidst the screams of the girls.
He knocked at the door, but received no response.
“You may as well open the door, Mr. Hell-cat, for I'll come in if
I have to break it down.”
After a short pause, and no voice from within, he forced open the
door; and behold, the Doctor was not in! He went in search of
him, but luckily did not find him till his fury abated. He went
home and took his bed; for the excitement had brought on a smart
fever.
| CHAPTER IV. Master William Mitten, or, A youth of brilliant talents, who was ruined by bad luck | |