University of Virginia Library

COURTING UNDER DIFFICULTIES.

THE epizootic is not entirely confined to horses, as the following will show. They had been keeping company a year. He told her Friday afternoon that he would be up early Sunday evening, as he had something of great importance to tell her, and a present to give her. With a woman's keen intuition, she knew what the something of importance would be, and she looked forward to the hour with sweet expectation. He was there on time, but hardly in the condition he desired. A heavy cold had tackled him the night before,

and his eyes were red and inflamed; and his nose was nearly twice its natural size, and shone with a lustre that would have appeared to much better advantage on a door-plate. Singularly enough, the young lady was similarly conditioned. She ushered him into the parlor; and, without any preliminary ceremony, they were on the sofa together. He took out his handkerchief, and, finding a dry section, wiped his nose, This reminded her of a duty she owed herself; and she attended to it at once. He held one of her hands in one of his, and his handkerchief in the other. Then he spoke:—

"Susad, I cub do nide do dalk do you of subdig dearer—ah-ah-ooh (a prompt application of the handkerchief cuts off the sneeze in its bud), dearer do me thad my libe—ah-ah—thad id—ooh-ooh-ker chew, ker chew, ker chew!" A moment's pause. "I'be god an awvul code," he explains with due solemnity.

"Sobe I," she sympathizingly replies.

A moment is devoted to a silent use of the handkerchiefs; and then he continues:—

"Darlig, you musd hab seed all de tibe how mudge—ooh-ooh-ker (the handkerchief again saves him)—how mudge I hab dhought ob you. Ebry hour ob de day or nide—ah-ah-ooh—ooh-ch-ch-ker chew, KER CHEW, KER CHEW!"

"Thid id awvul," he protested, walking around the room; for the final explosion had raised him to

his feet. She wiped her eyes, and then her nose, and made an honest endeavor to look languishing; but owing to the watery condition of the former, and the fiery glow of the latter, she appeared to an unhappy advantage. But he did not notice it. He felt of his proboscis tenderly for a moment, and then returned to her side.

"Darlig, I cad no loger lib widoud you. Widoud you, libe would indeed be a widderness; wid"—

She impulsively raised her hand.

"Ker-ker-ker chew!" she shouted.

He paused, and gazed tenderly out of his inflamed eyes upon her convulsed features.

"Darlig," he softly continued, seeing she was through, "you cad neber know how mudge—ah-ooh-ooh-ah-ker chew, ker—wish—sh-sh-er-r-r, ker chew, ker chew—Ooh, my!—oh, dear!" he wailed, impetuously grabbing for his handkerchief, while the tears ran down his cheeks.

She took advantage of the lull to unobtrusively apply her handkerchief.

"Susad," he began again, grasping her hand with fervor, and clutching his handkerchief with equal earnestness, "what id libe widoud lub? Noddig. Darlig, do yoo, cad yoo, lub me enough to be my—ah-ah-ooh-ker-chew! Heavigs, thid id awvul." He mopped the perspiration from his troubled countenance, and then waited until she re-appeared from behind her handkerchief, when he resumed;—

"I ask aged, darlig, cad yoo lub me enough to be me wibe?"

The young girl dropped her head upon his breast, put her arm around his neck, and was just about to speak the glad answer, when a sudden spasm shook her frame, and she went off into a series of sneezes which fairly endangered the safety of her fair neck. "O my lub! O my brechious!" he sympathizingly exclaimed, "sbeak, oh, sbeakd!—abooh-ooh-ker-chew, ker-chew, ker-chew!" he roared.

She fell into his arms again, perfectly exhausted.

"You'll be mide, all mide!" he gasped.

"I will, Hedry, I will!" she hoarsely whispered.

He drew her to him with all his strength, and slipped the ring upon her trembling finger; and there they stood together, their reddened and half-closed eyes, blinking in sweet, holy ecstasy upon each other, while their exhausted nostrils shone with a dim refulgence.

"My boor darlig has got sudge a bad code," he sympathizingly murmured.

"So id my Hedry," she softly whispered back.

"I dode gare for myseld. I"—he suddenly put her away, recovered his handkerchief, and instantly went off in a paroxysm of sneezes.

"Oh!" he sighed, as he regained a perpendicular again, and mopped off his face, which was now almost purple in hue.

"You must dake sub medicid for that code to-nide," she said,

"Both ob us," he added.

"Yes, a'd you'll zoak your feed in hod wader."

"I will, a'd you'll zoak yours?" he eagerly asked.

"I will," she solemnly replied.

"Hevig bless you, my darlig, my brecious darlig!" he murmured, clasping her again tightly to his breast. And then he stole out into the darkness; and she lingered a moment at the door, and heard his dear voice ring out on the night-air as he passed away,—

"Ker chew, ker chew, KER C-H-E-W!"