All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
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 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
21
[As our accounts in Almanacks agree]
As our accounts in Almanacks agree,The yeere cal'd sixteen hundred twenty three:
That Iulyes twenty eight, two houres past dinner,
We with our Wherry, and fiue men within her,
Along the christall Thames did cut and curry,
Betwixt the Counties, Middlesex and Surry:
Whilst thousāds gaz'd, we past the bridge with wōder,
Where fooles & wise men goe aboue & vnder.
We thus our Voyage brauely did begin
Downe by S. Katherines, where the Priest fell in,
By Wapping, where as hang'd drownd Pirats dye;
(Or else such Rats, I thinke as would eate Pie.)
And passing further, I at first obseru'd,
That Cuckolds-Hauen was but badly seru'd:
For there old Time had such confusion wrought,
That of that Ancient place remained nought.
No monumentall memorable Horne,
Or Tree or Post, which hath those Trophees borne,
Was left, whereby Posterity may know
Where their forefathers Crests did grow, or show.
Which put into a maze my muzing Muse,
Both at the worlds neglect, and times abuse,
That that stout Pillar, to Obliuions pit
Should fall, whereon Plus vltra might be writ,
That such a marke of Reuerend note should lye
Forgot, and hid, in blacke obscurity,
Especially when men of euery sort
Of countries, Cities, warlike Campes or Court,
Vnto that Tree are plaintiffs or defendants,
Whose loues, or feares, are fellowes or attendants:
Of all estates, this Hauen hath some partakers
By lot, some Cuckolds, and some Cuckold-makers.
And can they all so much forgetfull be
Vnto that Ancient, and Renowned Tree,
That hath so many ages stood Erected,
And by such store of Patrons beene protected,
And now Ingloriously to lye vnseene,
As if it were not, or had neuer beene?
Is Lechery wax'd scarce, is Bawdry scant,
Is there of Whores, or Cuckolds any want?
Are Whore-masters decai'd, are all Bawds dead?
Are Panders, Pimps, and Apple-squires, all fled?
No surely, for the Surgeons can declare
That Venus warres, more hot then Marses are.
Why then, for shame this worthy Port mainetaine,
Let's haue our Tree, and Hornes set vp againe:
That Passengers may shew obedience to it,
In putting off their Hats, and homage doe it.
Let not the Cornucopiaes of our land,
Vnsightly and vnseene neglected stand:
I know it were in vaine for me to call,
That you should rayse some famous Hospitall,
Some Free-schoole, or some Almshouse for the pore,
That might increase good deeds, & ope heau'ns dore.
'Tis no taxation great, or no collection
Which I doe speake of, for This great erection:
For if it were, mens goodnesses, I know,
Would proue exceeding barren, dull, and slow:
A Post and Hornes, will build it firme and stable,
Which charge to beare, there's many a begger able;
The place is Ancient of Respect most famous,
The want of due regard to it, doth shame vs,
For Cuckolds Hauen, my request is still,
And so I leaue the Reader to his will.
But holla Muse, no longer be offended,
'Tis worthily Repair'd, and brauely mended,
For which great meritorious worke, my pen
Shall giue the glory vnto Greenwitch men.
It was their onely cost, they were the Actors
Without the helpe of other Benefactors,
For which my pen their prayses here adornes,
As they haue beautifi'd the Hau'n with Hornes.
From thence to Debtford we amaine were driuen,
Whereas an Anker vnto me was giuen:
With parting pintes, and quarts for our farewell;
We tooke our Ieaues, and so to Greenwitch fell.
There shaking hands, adiews, and drinkings store,
We tooke our Ship againe, and left the shore.
Then downe to Erith, 'gainst the tyde we went,
Next London, greatest Maior towne in Kent
22
That there the Maior was a Waterman,
Who gouernes, rules, and reignes sufficiently,
And was the Image of Authority:
With him we had cheap Reck'nings & good cheere.
And nothing but his friendship we thought deere.
But thence we rows'd our selues and cast off sleepe,
Before the day-light did begin to peepe.
The tyde by Grauesend swiftly did vs bring,
Before the mounting-Larke began to sing,
And e'r we came to Lee, with speedy pace
The Sun 'gan rise with most suspicious face,
Of foule foreboding weather, purple, red,
His Radient Tincture, East, Northeast o'rspred:
And as our Oares thus downe the Riuer pull'd,
Oft with a Fowling-peece the Gulls we gull'd,
For why, the Master Gunner of our Ship
Let no occasion or aduantage slip,
But charg'd and discharg'd, shot, and shot againe,
And scarce in twenty times shot once in vaine.
Foule was the weather, yet thus much I'l say,
If't had beene faire, Fowle was our food that day.
Thus downe alongst the spacious Coast of Kent
By Grane and Sheppeies Ilands downe we went,
We past the Nowre-head, and the sandy shore,
Vntill we came to th'East end of the Nowre,
At last by Ramsgates Peere we stiffly Rowed,
The winde and tyde, against vs blow'd and flowed,
Till neere vnto the Hauen where Sandwitch stands,
We were enclosed with most dangerous sands.
There were we sowsd & slabberd, wash'd & dash'd,
And grauell'd that it made vs halfe abash'd:
We look'd and pry'd, and stared round about,
From our apparant perils to get out.
For with a Staffe, as we the depth did sound,
Foure miles from land, we almost were on ground.
At last (vnlook'd for) on our Larboord side
A thing turmoyling in the Sea we spide,
Like to a Meareman; wading as he did
All in the Sea his neather parts were hid,
Whose Brawney limbs, and rough neglected Beard,
And grim aspect, made halfe of vs afeard,
And as he vnto vs his course did make,
I courage tooke, and thus to him I spake.
Man, monster, fiend or fish, what-e'r thou be,
That trauelst here in Neptunes Monarchy,
I charge thee by his dreadfull Three-tin'd Mace,
Thou hurt not me or mine, in any case,
And if thou bee'st produc'd of Mortall kinde,
Shew vs some course, how we the way may finde
To deeper water, from these sands so shallow,
In which thou seest our Ship thus wash and wallow.
With that (he shrugging vp his shoulders strong)
Spake (like a Christian) in the Kentish tongue,
Quoth he, Kinde sir, I am a Fisherman,
Who many yeeres my liuing thus hauewan
By wading in these sandy troublous waters
For Shrimps, Wilks, Cockles, and such vsefull matters,
And I will lead you, (with a course I'l keepe)
From out these dangerous shallowes to the deepe.
Then (by the nose) along he led our Boate,
Till (past the fiats) our Barke did brauely floate.
Our Sea-horse, that had drawne vs thus at large,
I gaue two groats vnto, and did discharge.
Then in an houre and halfe, or little more,
We throgh the-Downes at Deale went safe on shore.
There did our Hostesse dresse the Fowle we kill'd,
With which our hungry stomacks well we fill'd,
The morrow being Wednesday (breake of day)
We towards Douer tooke our weary way:
The churlish windes awak'd the Seas high fury,
Which made vs glad to land there, I assure yee.
Blinde Fortune did so happily contriue,
That we (as sound as bells) did safe ariue
At Douer, where a man did ready stand,
To giue me Entertainment by the hand,
A man of mettle, marke and note, long since
He graced was to lodge a gracious Prince,
And now his speeches sum, and scope and pith
Is Iack and Tom, each one his Cousin Smith,
That if with pleasant talke you please to warme ye,
He is an Host much better then an Army,
A goodly man, well fed, and corpulent,
Fill'd like a bag-pudding with good content,
A right good fellow, free of cap and legge,
Of complement, as full as any Egge:
To speake of Him, I know it is of Folly,
He is a mortall foe to Melancholy.
Mirth is his life and trade, and I thinke very,
That he was got when all the world was merry:
Health vpon health, he doubled and redoubled,
Till his and mine, and all our braines were troubled,
Vnto our absent Betters there we dranke;
Whom we are bound to loue, they not to thanke:
By vs mine Host could no great profit reape,
Our meat and lodging was so good and cheape,
That to his praise thus much I'l truly tell,
He vs'd vs kindly euery way and well.
And though my lines before are merry writ,
Where-e'r I meet him, I'l acknowledge it.
To see the Castle there I did desire,
And vp the Hill I softly did aspire,
Whereas it stands, impregnable in strength,
Large in Circumference, height, bredth, and length,
Built on a fertile plat of ground, that they
Haue yeerely growing twenty loads of Hay,
Great Ordnance store, pasture for Kine and Horses,
Rampires and Walls, t'withstand inuasiue forces,
23
Munition, victuall'd, then it can withstand
The powers of twenty Tamberlaines (the Great)
Till in the end with shame they would Retreat.
Tis gouern'd by a graue and prudent Lord,
Whose Iustice doth to each their right afford,
Whose worth (within the Castle, and without)
The fiue Ports, and the country all about,
The people with much loue, doe still recite,
Because he makes the wrongers render Right.
The kindnesse I receiued there was such,
That my remembrance cannot be too much.
I saw a Gun thrice eight foot length of Brasse,
And in a Wheele I saw a comely Asse
(Dance like a Dog) that's turning of a Spit,
And draw as it were from the infernall pit,
(Whose deepe-Abisse is perpendicular)
One hundred fathome (or well neere as farre)
So christaline, so cleere, and coole a water,
That will in Summer make a mans teeth chatter:
And when to see it vp, I there had stood,
I dranke thereof, and found it sweet and good.
So farewell Castle, Douer, Douer Peere,
Farewell, Oast Bradshaw, thanks for my good cheer.
My bonny Barke to Sea was bound againe;
On Thursday morne, we lanch'd into the Maine,
By Folstone, and by Sangates ancient Castle,
Against the rugged waues, we tugge and wrastle
By Hyde, by Rumney, and by Rumney Marsh.
The Tyde against vs, and the winde blew harsh,
'Twixt Eolus and Neptune was such strife,
That I ne'r felt worse weather in my life:
Tost and retost, retost and tost againe;
With rumbling, tumbling, on the rowling Maine,
The boystrous breaking Billowes curled locks
Impetuously did beate against the Rockes,
The winde much like a Horse whose wind is broke,
Blew thicke and short, that we were like to choake:
As it outragiously the billowes shaues,
The Gusts (like dust) blown from the bryny waues,
And thus the winds and seas robustious gods
Fell by the eares starke mad at furious ods.
Our slender Ship, turmoyld 'twixt shores and Seas,
Aloft or low, as stormes and flawes did please:
Sometimes vpon a foaming Mountaines top,
Whose height did seeme the heau'ns to vnderprop,
When straight to such profundity she fell,
As if she diu'd into the deepest Hell,
The Clowds like ripe Apostumes burst & showr'd,
Their mattery watery substance headlong powr'd;
Yet though all things were mutable and fickle,
They all agreed to souse vs in a pickle,
Of waters fresh and salt, from Seas and Skye,
Which with our sweat ioynd in triplicity,
That looking each on other, there we saw,
We neither were halfe stewd, nor yet halfe raw,
But neither hot or cold, good flesh or fishes
For Caniballs, we had beene ex'lent dishes.
Bright Phœbus hid his golden head with feare,
Not daring to behold the dangers there,
Whilst in that straight or Exigent we stand,
We see and wish to land, yet durst not land,
Like rowling Hills the Billowes beate and roare
Against the melancholly Beachie shore,
That if we landed, neither strength or wit
Could saue our Boate from being sunke or split.
To keepe the Sea, sterne puffing Eols breath
Did threaten still to blow vs all to death,
The waues amaine (vnbid) oft boorded vs,
Whilst we almost three houres beleaguerd thus,
On euery side with danger and distresse,
Resolu'd to run on shore at Dengie Nesse.
There stand some thirteene Cottages together,
To shelter Fishermen from winde and weather,
And there some people were as I suppos'd,
Although the dores and windowes all were clos'd:
I neere the land, into the Sea soone leapt
To see what people those same houses kept,
I knock'd and cal'd, at each, from house to house,
But found no forme of mankinde, Man or Mouse.
This newes all sad, and comfortlesse and cold,
Vnto my company I straightwayes told,
Assuring them the best way I did thinke,
Was to hale vp the Boate, although she sinke.
Resolued thus, we all together please
To put her head to shore, her sterne to Seas,
They leaping ouerboord amidst the Billowes,
We pluck'd her vp (vnsunke) like stout tall fellows.
Thus being wet, from top to toe we strip'd,
(Except our shirts) and vp and downe we skip'd,
Till winde and Sunne our wants did well supply,
And made our outsides, and our insides dry.
Two miles frō thence, a ragged town there stood,
To which I went to buy some drinke and food:
Where kindely ouer-reckon'd, well misus'd
Was, and with much courtesie abus'd.
Mine Oastesse did account it for no trouble,
For single fare to make my payment double:
Yet did her mind and mine agree together,
That (I once gone) would neuer more come thither:
The Cabbins where our Boat lay safe and well,
Belong'd to men which in this towne did dwell:
And one of them (I thanke him) lent vs then
The Key to ope his hospitable Den,
A brazen Kettle, and a pewter dish,
To serue our needs, and dresse our flesh and fish:
Then from the Butchers we bought Lamb & sheep,
Beere from the Alehouse, and a Broome to sweepe
24
And most extremely rusty-fusty-dusty.
There, two dayes space, we Roast, & boile, & broile,
And toyle, and moyle, and keepe a noble coyle,
For onely we kept open house alone,
And he that wanted Beefe, might haue a Stone.
Our Grandam Earth (with beds) did al befriend vs,
And bountifully all our lengths did lend vs,
That laughing, or else lying downe did make
Our backes and sides sore, and our ribs to ake.
On Saturday the windes did seeme to cease,
And brawling Seas began to hold their peace,
When we (like Tenants) beggerly and poore,
Decreed to leaue the Key beneath the doore,
But that our Land-lord did that shift preuent,
Who came in pudding time, and tooke his Rent,
And as the Sunne, was from the Ocean peeping,
We lanch'd to Sea againe, and left house-keeping.
When presently we saw the drisling skies
'Gan powt and lowre, and Winds and Seas 'gan rise,
Who each on other plaid their parts so wilde,
As if they meant not to be reconcilde,
The whilst we leape vpon those liquid hills,
Where Porposes did shew their fins and Gills,
Whilst we like various Fortunes Tennis ball,
At euery stroake, were in the Hazzard all.
And thus by Rye, and Winchelsey we past
By Fairlegh, and those Rockie cliffs at last.
Some two miles short of Hastings, we perceiu'd
The Lee shore dangerous, and the Billowes heau'd,
Which made vs land (to scape the Seas distresse)
Within a harbour, almost harbourlesse,
(We giue God thanks) amongst the Rocks we hit,
Yet were we neither wash'd or sunke, or split.
Within a Cottage nigh, there dwels a Weauer
Who entertaind vs, as the like was neuer,
No meat, no drinke, no lodging (but the floore)
No Stoole to sit, no Locke vnto the doore,
No straw to make vs litter in the night,
Nor any Candlesticke to hold the light,
To which the Owner bid vs welcome still,
Good entertainement, though our cheare was ill.
The morrow when the Sun with flushed face
In his diurnall course began to trace,
The wind exceeding stiffe and strong and tough,
The Seas outragious, and extremely rough,
Our Boate laid safe vpon the Beachy sand,
Whilst we to Hastings went or walk'd by land.
Much (to that Towne) my thankfulnesse is bound,
Such vndeserued kindnesse there I found.
Three nights we lay there, and three daies we spent,
Most freely welcom'd, with much merriment.
Kinde Mr Maior his loue aboue the rest:
Me and my crue, he did both feed and feast,
He sent vs Gold, and came himselfe to vs;
My thankes are these, because his loue was thus.
Mine Host and Hostesse Clayton thus I thanke
And all good fellowes there, I found so franke,
That what they had, or what could there be got,
They neither thought too heauy or too hot.
The windes and Seas continued still their course,
Inueterate seem'd their rage, vntam'd their force,
Yet were we loth to linger and delay:
But once againe to venture and away.
Thus desperately resolu'd, 'twixt hope and doubt,
Halfe sunke with lanching, madly we went out,
At twelue a clocke at noone, and by Sun-set
To Miching, or New Hauen we did get.
There almost sunke (to saue our Boat at last)
Our selues into the shallow Seas we cast:
And pluck'd her into safety to remaine
Till Friday that we put to Sea againe.
Then 'mongst our old acquaintance (storms & flaws)
At euery stroake neere deaths deuouring iawes:
The weary day we past through many feares,
And land at last quite sunke o'r head and eares.
All dropping dry, like fiue poore Rats half drownd,
From succour farre, we halde the Boat on ground,
Cast out our water, whilst we brauely drop'd,
And vp and downe to drie our selues we hop'd.
Thus we our weary Pilgrimage did weare,
Expecting for the weather calme and cleare:
But stormes, flawes, windes, seas, tooke no minutes rest,
Continuall fiercely blowing, West Southwest.
A Town call'd Goreing, stood neere two miles wide,
To which we went, and had our wants supplide:
There we relieu'd our selues (with good compassiō)
With meat and lodging of the homely fashion.
To bed we went in hope of rest and ease,
But all beleaguer'd with an Host of Fleas:
Who in their fury nip'd and skip'd so hotly,
That all our skins were almost turn'd to motly.
The bloudy sight endur'd at least sixe houres,
When we (opprest with their encreasing pow'rs)
Were glad to yeeld the honour of the day
Vnto our foes, and rise and runne away:
The night before, a Constable there came,
Who ask'd my Trade, my dwelling, and my name:
My businesse, and a troope of questions more,
And wherefore we did land vpon that shore?
To whom I fram'd my answers true, and fit,
(According to his plenteous want of wit)
But were my words all true, or if I li'd,
With neither I could get him satisfi'd.
25
(As if we had, we would haue told him so.)
He said that Lords sometimes would enterprise
T'escape, and leaue the Kingdome, in disguise:
But I assur'd him on my honest word,
That I was no disguised Knight or Lord.
He told me then that I must goe sixe miles
T'a Iustice there, Sir Iohn, or else Sir Giles:
I told him I was loth to goe so farre:
And he told me, he would my iourny barre.
Thus what with Fleas, and with the seuerall prates
Of th'Officer, and his Ass-sociats,
We arose to goe, but Fortune bade vs stay:
The Constable had stolne our Oares away,
And borne them thence a quarter of a mile,
Quite through a Lane, beyond a gate and stile,
And hid them there, to hinder my depart,
For which I wish'd him hang'd with all my heart.
A Plowman (for vs) found our Oares againe,
Within a field well fill'd with Barly Graine.
Then madly, gladly out to Sea we thrust,
Gainst windes & stormes & many a churlish Gust:
By Kingston Chappell, and by Rushington,
By little Hampton, and by Middleton,
To Bognors fearefull Rockes, which hidden lie
Two miles into the Sea, some wet, some dry:
There we suppos'd our danger most of all,
If we on those remorcelesse Rockes should fall:
But by th'Almighties mercy and his might,
We Row'd to Selsey, where we stay'd all night.
There, our necessity could haue no Law,
For want of beds, we made good vse of Straw,
Till Sol, that old continuall Traueller
From Thetis lap, 'gan mount his flaming Car.
The weather kept it's course, and blow'd & rag'd,
Without appearance it would e'r be swag'd,
Whilst we did passe those hills, & dales, & Downs,
That had deuour'd great ships, and swallow'd Towns.
Thus after six or fiue houres toyle at least,
We past along by Wittering, West, and East,
Vpon the Lee shore still the winde full South,
We came neere Chichesters faire Hauens mouth.
And being then halfe sunk, and all through wet,
More fear'd then hurt, we did the Hauen get.
Thus in that harbour we our course did frame
To Portsmouth, where on Munday morne we came.
Then to the Royall Fleet we Row'd aboord,
Where much good welcome they did vs affoord.
To the Lord Generall, first my thankes shall be,
His bounty did appeare in gold to me,
And euery one aboord the Prince I found,
In stead of want, to make their loues abound,
Captaine Penrudduck there amongst the rest,
His loue and bounty was to vs exprest,
Which to requite, my thankfulnesse I'l show,
And that I'l euer pay, and euer owe.
On Tuesday morning we with maine and might,
From Portsmouth crost vnto the Ile of Wight:
By Cowes stout Castle, we to Yarmouth hasted.
And still the windes and Seas fierce sury lasted.
On Wedn'sday we to Hursts strong Castle crost,
Most dangerously sowsd, turmoyl'd and tost:
Good harbour there we found, and nothing deere,
I thanke kinde M. Figge, the Porter there,
He shew'd vs there a Castle of defence
Most vsefull, of a round circumference:
Of such command, that none can passe those Seas
Vnsunke, or spoyl'd, except the Castle please.
On Thursday, we, our Boat row'd, pull'd and hal'd
Vnto a place, which is Key Hauen call'd.
The winde still blowing, and the Sea so high,
As if the lofty waues would kisse the skie,
That many times I wish'd with all my hart,
My selfe, my Boat, and Crue, all in a Cart;
Or any where to keepe vs safe and dry,
The weather raged so outragiously.
For sure I thinke the memory of man
(Since windes and Seas to blow or flow began)
Cannot remember so stormy weather
In such continuance, held so long together,
For ten long weekes e'r that, tis manifest,
The wind had blown at South or west Southwest,
And rais'd the Seas: to shew each others power,
That all this space (calme weather) not one hower,
That whether we did goe by Sunne or Moone,
At anytime, at midnight, or at noone:
If we did launce, or if to land we set,
We still were sure to be halfe sunke, and wet.
Thus toyling of our weary time away,
That Thursday was our last long look'd for day:
For hauing past, with perill, and much paine,
And plow'd, & furrow'd, o'r the dangerous maine,
O'r depths, and flats, and many a ragged Rocke,
We came to Christ-Church Hau'n at fiue a clocke.
Thus God, in mercy, his iust iudgement sparing,
(Gainst our presumption, ouer-bold, and daring)
Who made vs see his wonders in the deepe,
And that his power alone aloft did keepe
Our weather-beaten Boate aboue the waues,
Each moment gaping to be all our Graues.
We sinking scap'd: then not to vs, to Him
Be all the Glory, for he causd vs swim.
And for his mercy was so much extended
On me (whose temptings had so farre offended)
Let me be made the scorne and scoffe of men,
If euer I attempt the like agen.
My loue, my duty, and my thankfulnesse,
To Sir George Hastings I must here expresse:
His deedes to me, I must requite in words,
No other payment, poore mens state affords.
26
With thanks to Mr. Templeman mine host.
So leauing Christ-Church, and the Hauen there,
With such good friends as made vs welcome cheer:
Some serious matter now I must compile,
And thus from verse to prose I change my stile.
When I past downe the Riuer, there was not any Post or Horne there, but since it is most worthily Repaired.
I walk'd to Winchelsey, where I thanke my Couzin Mr. Collins, the Maior there, hee made me kindely welcome.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |