University of Virginia Library

ACT THE FIRST.

Scene, Praxinoe's House, in the Suburbs of Alexandria.
GORGO, PRAXINOE, EUNOE.
GORGO.
My dear little girl, is Praxinoe at home?

EUNOE.
She is—but how late, Mrs. Gorgo, you come!

PRAXINOE.
Indeed! I thought, madam her head would ne'er push in—
But, Eunoe, see for a chair and a cushion.

EUNOE.
I have—

PRAXINOE.
Pray sit down—

GORGO.
What a terrible din!
What a pother! 'tis well I escap'd in whole skin!
What a brave heart have I! to pass so many folks
That clatter'd in sandals, and jostled in cloaks!
And coaches—you cannot imagine the throng!
I'm quite out of breath—and the way is so long!

PRAXINOE.
Too true: 'tis the fault of my plaguy old soul!
And here must we live, and put up with a hole.
What a desart! To vex me he tries all he can;
He was ever a strange unaccountable man!
He knew I could almost have died for the loss
Of your chat—but my schemes 'tis his pleasure to cross.

GORGO.
[Pointing to the child.]
Hush, madam—observe him—how earnest his eye—
Don't talk of your husband, when Zopy is by.

PRAXINOE.
I don't mean your papa, my sweet little jewel!

GORGO.
But he understands—no—papa's not so cruel.

PRAXINOE.
This fellow then (we may disguise it, you know,
And talk of the thing as if some time ago)
This block of a fellow once happen'd to stop,
To buy me some nitre and paint at a shop;
When, for nitre, he purchas'd bay-salt; and, for rouge,
The long-lubber gawky bought yellow gambouge.

GORGO.
Lord! mine is as bad! you could hardly have thought,
For five fleeces like dogs-hair, and dear in a groat,
That he squander'd away seven drachms! the sweet honey!
Well might it be said, he was fleec'd of his money!
But come, take your cloak—to Adonis we haste—
And fasten your robe with its clasps to your waist;
Our queen is preparing a sight so divine—

PRAXINOE.
Aye—all things, besure, with fine people are fine!
But describe to me these preparations, so novel
To me, who am coop'd in this lone little hovel.

GORGO.
'Tis high time to go; and we'll talk at our leisure.

PRAXINOE.
Bring water: come quickly, you slut! What a pleasure
These cats must enjoy on the down of a bed!
Go, drive them away: but, you statue of lead,
First bring me the water: See—see how you fill!
Enough!—And how dare you so carelessly spill
Such a flood on my gown? Well, I'm wash'd—God be blest!
Here, hussey—and give me the key of my chest.

GORGO.
Your robe—let me see—I protest, 'tis not clumsy:
Pray what did it cost? Nay, it vastly becomes ye.

PRAXINOE.
Don't ask me—it cost two good pounds and a crown;
And my life I'd near into the bargain laid down.

GORGO.
No waste of your time or your money, however.

PRAXINOE.
True, Gorgo: Come bring me my scarf, and be clever
In putting it on—and see there my umbrella.
But as for my Zopy, the dear little fellow—
You cannot go with us; the horses will bite;
You may cry—but the goblin will come in the night:
Cry on, if you please, sir; you shall not get hurt—
Yet, girl, pray endeavour the child to divert!
Bolt the door; but first call in the house-dog to watch;
And see you don't lift, while I'm absent, the latch.

[Exeunt.