University of Virginia Library

Scene VI.

THE PINE FOREST OF THE WHITE GNOMES.
(A Christmas design by F. Holding.)
Sir Brian.
Hollo! What station's this? Where are we now?

(The Sheriff and his party make themselves scarce.)
Tuck.
Here's a nice corner for a jolly row!
Am I asleep? I'll nip myself and see.
No! That's all right.

Daisy.
Wherever can we be?

Marian.
A smell of brimstone, too. Can't tell the reason,—
But something in these trees looks vast like treason.

Robin.
Don't put your shoulder out. There's nought to fear.

Tuck.
I'm glad of that; but it's tarnation queer.
I want a porter.

Robin.
There's no porter here.

Tuck.
Hail me a porter; or, I'm on my bier.

Robin.
Tuck; you're beery.

Marian.
Robert; Is this Belle Vue?

Robin.
Not it! I take a different view to you.

Marian.
It's Preston station!

Tuck.
Nay; not so bad! No!
The station next to Preston's—down below.

Marian.
Robert; are you acquainted with the people here?

Robin.
Yes, yes! You'll get a cup of tea directly, dear.

Tuck.
Let's hold a meeting! Let's do something cheerful!
Let's have a lark or two! The place is fearful!
I don't half like it. Hollo! Here's a swell!

Enter, his Majesty the King of the White Gnomes.
Gnome King.
Gents; how d'ye do? I hope you're very well!
Madam! Beg pardon, that I rudely passed you by;
The man is blind that has not beauty in his eye.

Tuck.
Go it my tulip!

Robin.
Shut up, Tuck! This cove's a king!

Tuck.
Indeed! Oh; thank you! That's another thing.

Gnome King
(to Robin).
Mr. Hood, I presume?

Robin
(presents his card).
Sir; that's my name.
My ancestors were not unknown to fame.

Gnome King
(looks at the card).
A name, sir, that will wrestle hard with time;

Robin.
Fun, freedom, pathos mingle there,—sublime!
The inimitable Tom—

Gnome King.
Was he—

Robin.
A relative of mine.

Gnome King.
Indeed! Give me your hand, sir! I am thine!

Tuck.
Don't flurry thysel'!

Robin.
Drop it! you're getting queer.

Gnome King.
By fairy talisman I'm summoned here.
I hold the Fairy Queen's behest in awe.
Her will's my pleasure; her command, my law.

Tuck.
Hoo's a good un!

Robin.
Tuck; you fool! Be wise!

Gnome King.
The queen and I are very old allies.
On her behalf, bold Robin, here I come.
Tell me what I can do,—and I'm your gnome.

Tuck.
That cove's a brick!

Robin.
I'll briefly speak the thing.

Gnome King.
Robin, good fellow; I'm thy white gnome king.

Marian.
My lord; we're hunted down by mortal foemen!
Their toils are round us. See; the knaves are coming!
'Tis the proud sheriff, with his men, and daughter,—
Like savage butchers, keen for ruthless slaughter.

Re-enter the Enemy.
Robin.
They're fully bent on Marian's abduction;
And,—as for me,—I'm doomed to swift destruction.

Marian.
Oh, save us,—please! My heart with terror's throbbin'
They'll make away with me,—and kill my Robin!

Tuck.
Give us a lift,—owd brid! Aw'll ston a gill!
Iv aw'd bin sober, aw'd ha' licked that lot mysel'.

Robin.
Aid us, your majesty, to trounce 'em well.
I'll take it kindly,—more than I can tell.

Gnome King.
No more, good Robin! I'm the White Gnome King!
Stand by; and see how slick I'll do the thing.
What; ho! Brave gnomes that guard these magic halls!
To arms! To arms! It is your king that calls!

Robin.
Ye veteran heroes of ten thousand rows!
Another wreath awaits your martial brows!
On! on! my gallant gnomes! There stands the foe!
Strike home; and put your shoulder in each blow!
All gnome-land's gazing on you! Now! Fall to!
Larrup the paltry knaves,—till all goes blue!

(Sudden and remarkable appearance of the White Gnomes, who, in a singular mode of warfare, peculiar to themselves, inflict on the naughty Sheriff a most overwhelming defeat, and finally congratulate themselves, in likewise a peculiar way.)
CHORUS.
Air—“Paddle Your Own Canoe.”