 | The Successfull Straingers |  |
SCENE I.
A Garden.Carlos.
Have I invented numerous pleasures for her?
Wasted my plenty to advance Her State?
Was I the first that set her up for shew?
Nourish'd her Emulation, still with presents
Which rais'd the Envy of the Spanish Dames,
Because their Lovers could not match my guifts?—
Guzm.
Good Sir, don't chafe so!—
Carl.
Arts have been puzl'd and Invention tir'd,
To humour her affected Luxury;
There's not a sence she has, but as it pall'd,
I still supply'd with change!
Guz.
Nay, you have had enough to do to please her,
For she has been as humour some, as Breeding Quality,
When the Family wants an Heir.
Carl.
Damn her foul feeding, on this course Plebeian,
For were he Noble he would own his Being,
It is some first Rate Servant to a Frenchman,
Whose Singing, Dancing, Tilting h'has been learn'd,
By his observance, when his Master practis'd.
Guz.
What a dull dog am I, without these Graces!
I have seen as much as any man;
Remember as little, and perform less!
If I get but a Horse-back,
They swear I look like a Monster on a Monster;
And quote me for a figure in St. Antony's Dream.
Carl.
O Love! thou woman in the man, and woman mans,
Ill Planet curse on ye both.
Guz.
Prettily describ'd, and heartily curst!
His Honour's as fancifull as a Dutch-Print.
Carl.
When yesterday I led her from the Church,
Amongst the Crowd this thing admiring stood,
She unconcern'd without return pass't by 'em;
I was amaz'd at this unusual Carriage;
But as I wondering stood to guess the Cause.
This upstart with a tedious grace Saluted,
Whilst she to satisfy him, 'twas approv'd,
With the like lazy movement, answer'd it.
Guz.
This comes of good breeding. Our Country's fam'd
For't: He that's mannerly here, Ten to one but
He's poyson'd, my Beaver's worn out with
My Serving man's Curtefy!
Carl.
Peace Fool! This Morning will I watch her!
For if he cherishes what last she gave him
He will be there again to covet more.
I will observe their Glances eagerly;
Eyes will sufficient Testimony give,
Then, if I am resolv'd of what I dread,
Her spruce Adorer I'le dispose of quickly.
Guz.
Sir! If your passion would abate a while,
To serve you: I'de discover something to you
Tho', 'tis not like a Man of Guzmans Honour,
To boast of what his Rhetorick has obtain'd.
Carl.
What says the Coxcomb?
Guz.
The Coxcomb has done Sir:
Carl.
Sirrah, restrain your Follies till you find my temper
Fitter to receive 'em.
Guz.
If your temper desires to be inform'd, whether
Your Mistrisses Inclinations bend more to another
Then your self, slight not my Intelligence.
Car.
Prethee—say any thing, for I am so wrackt
With my suspitions I could destroy the Sex.
Guz.
Know then: (oh secresy forgive me!) Her Maid,
(Pardon me, my frailty:) I have—
Carl.
What?
Guz.
Enjoy'd!
Car.
What then?
Guz.
Why then she's a Whore: But her sin is the less
Because that she pays for't.
Carl.
Prolixity! go on, what comfort must I hope from
this—Speak!
Guz.
Why you'r as hasty as an Heir for his Fathers
Death, or a Gamster for his Wive, when he has
Lost all.
Carl.
Slave!
This Damsell, I say, being fond of my parts,
And being the Closet of her Mistrisses thoughts
Will sincerely instruct me, in all her affairs, which
Being inform'd of, you'l the better contrive the ruine
Of him, you doubt will be yours.
Carl.
Is thy discovery Faithfull?
Guz.
As the love of Spaniels!
Carl.
O! thou hast given my longings vast delight
For to be certain is my Souls Ambition;
These secret-bearing Bawds are oft of use,
Money and Lust corrupt the Hearts of all:
Not Man the Judge of Honour can withstand 'em
Kingdoms have been betray'd by first and last,
And Families are still debauch't by Confidents.
Here's Gold for thee—pay her in other Coin,
Sift out the Truth and all I have—
Guz.
I'le hav't Sir.
Carl.
Away then,
I must to Church, wait on my wav'ring Love,
Take heed she knows not that I set thee on;
For if this Stranger has presented Her,
As 'tis the Trade to make such Trulls our friends,
He that the largest guifts does still bestow,
Must be her Chapman: Therefore do't secretly.
Guz.
As Bankers break Sir—She Sleeps in Ignorance:
For I have read a Proverb heretofore—
Learn Secrets from, but trust none with your Whore.
[Exit.
Carl.
O Jealousy—Thou evill fruit in
Lovers Paradice; which tasted, forfeits
All our Happiness.
Enter Don Francisco.
Fran.
For shame boy don't loiter so! why, the Sun
Has took leave of his Mistriss these four hours,
And thou hast not visited thine yet.
Carl.
I am ready Sir.
Fran.
And I'le warrant she's ready for thee boy, or the Woman has
fail'd her, thy Mother was ready for me at all times, nay sometimes
readier then I; but not till I was Five and Forty by the Champion of
Spain.
Carl.
Are you for Church Sir?
Fran.
No I leave the Church for such young Fellows as you are, you
have debauch'd it so among you that Heav'n has forsook it.
Forsook Church Sir, why where does it inhabit then?
Fran.
Where? why in Sanctified thoughts, Holy and Private Closets,
Strict and devout living.
Carl.
Why is not the Church Sanctifyed, holy, strict, and devout?
Fran.
The Church, ay Sir, but what are the Congregations watchers
of Eyes, Dressing admirers, Insinuating Leerers, Hypocritical Fawners,
Debauching Gallants, bribe-taking Servants, promising bawds, Mothers
that sell their Childrens, Children that cheat their Mothers, Fluttering
Courtiers, Strutting Merchants, Affected Gay-Fops, Baboones of fifty
mimiking Apes of five and twenty, proud Heiresses, Fortune-Plundering
Soldiers, Hectoring Bravo's, Coy-seeming Maids, Leud wives, Painted
Widdows, and pocky Whores by St. Iago.
Carl.
I'le take my Mistress Sir from such ill Company as soon as I can.
Fran.
Well said, do boy, marry her quickly, the sooner the better;
thou may'st loose her yet, she may be Stole in the mumbling of a Pater-Noster,
or the humming of an Amen; there are perking, prinking, Dancing
Finicall Rogues a purpose for such business.
Carl.
O my Spleen stifles me at his chance saying.
[knocks within.
Franc.
By St. Iago there's the Father of thy Mistriss, he's come about
the Agreement for the Marriage; Here let him in, take the Key of the
Garden door with thee.
Carl.
O for a key to unlock his Daughters Soul: If she be false,
this Justice I will have to see the curst occasion in his Grave.
[Exit.
Fran.
Now concerning this match, I have a Confounded old Rogue
to deal with; He has no more Conscience then a Soldier in free Quarter;
And as fond of his money as a Priest of a fresh Convert; As proud
as a Darling Statesman, as Positive as an Affected Wit, as Sullen as neglected
merit, and more troublesome, if possible, then the Civil Law. It
has cost me the Devill and all to maintain this Amour: A confounded
Extravagant Rogue of a Son too, has presented her profusely—A Pox
of her pride, It has cost me 5000 Crowns the wooing of her. By St.
Iago, in England a Man might have layn with the whole Nation for half
the money.
Signior Lopez good day to you.
Lop.
The like to you Signior Francisco.
Fran.
Will you walk Signior Lopez, or shall we sit down on this banck?
Lop.
I am indifferent warm with walking hither, if it please you
let's sit.
Fran.
With all my heart—within there?
[Enter Servants.
our Children.
[Exeunt.
Lop.
Why truly the charge of Children is of great concern, of mighty
moment Brother, and Girles more chargeable, more dangerous, and
much more troublesome then Boys: you I think have but ore Son;
ah happy man, you're in no fear for his miscarriage, he can't Scandalize
a Family so much as a Daughter.
Fran.
He can't be got with Child indeed, but for every thing else,
I think boys are full as troublesome: they're either given to Fighting,
Drinking, Gaming, or Whoring; If they're given to Fighting, Fifty
to one but they're kill'd, and a hundred to one but in a Whores quarrell;
then probable the name of a Family is lost by it; if to Drinking,
why, if 'tis bad Wine it flings 'em into a feaver, which is damnable expensive,
there's Doctors and Apothecaries, Rogues that get a Livelyhood
by destroying of others; and kill or cure, they must be paid: which
is very hard upon the Subject; If to Gaming, why, If he has Indulgent
Parents he's undone for ever, and if to Whoring, he may rot with the
Pox.
Lop.
Ah! That Pox Brother, is almost Epedemicall; They say 'twas
begot by an Italian on a French Woman, sent to Nurse into England, and
brought hither by some Cavaliers in the time of the late Civil Wars.
Fran.
Why 'tis a burning shame, a Crying Sin Brother, and they dye
(they say) in greater numbers then they recover.
Lop.
Why 'tis great pitty there is not an Order Instituted by the Government
here among Physitians, No Cure, No Money.
Fran.
By Esculapius they'd starve in a month then, you'd see a greater
havock amongst them then ever they made among us.
Lop.
Why, ay Seignior, to come to the Point. You know I have two
Daughters, they must both be provided for, indeed if my daughter Filly
had dyed of her disaster, I could have made your Sons Mistriss a much
better Fortune.
Fran.
Why Feliciana is the youngest, is she not?
Lop.
Yes, yes.
Fran.
Why, I tell you what I design'd by my young Son, whom I lost
at Sea, Octavio; had he liv'd, and I dy'd before him, I would never have
robb'd the Eldest; For I think it a Sin unpardonable: I would have
left him Sole Governour of his Brother, and natural honour would have
made him provide for him.
Lop.
Ay, but natural honour will not do in my Case: A Sister can't
do like a Brother; For when once she's Married, the Power is lost, and
tho' she has Inclinations to be Gen'rous, the Husband does often deny it.
Fran.
I dare swear for my boy Carlos, my dear boy Carlos would let
her want nothing.
That might send her out of the World.
[aside.
If you will settle 2000 Crowns per Annum on your Son; and make my
Daughter a Joynture of 500 Crowns per annum, I will give him 20000
Crowns with her.
Fran.
20000. Why my Son has presented her to the vallue of 5000
Crowns in one thing or another.
Lop.
Ay but that will be his again you know.
Fran.
His again, but with your leave, you give but 15000 Crowns
with her at that rate.
Enter Servants with Chocolate, who place themselves of each side of Lop. and Fran.
Serv.
Here's Chocolate, Sir.
Fra.
Fill, fill therefore Brother, I think your oblig'd in honour to
give her 5 and 20000 and then—
Lop.
In honour Seignior
[rises]
Fran.
Ay in honour Seignior
Lop.
Why, I know what belongs to honour as well as you.
Fra.
You don't practise it tho'.
Lop.
Think better of your Countrys Constitution, and provoke not,
with such Indecent Insolencies; Consider who I am.
Fra.
Who you are.
Lop.
Ay:
Fra.
Ay:
Lop.
Ay.
Fra.
Why you are,
Lop.
What?
Fra.
What?
Lop.
Ay, what?
Fra.
Why, you are an old Fellow as old as my self, nor better nor
Stouter.
Lop.
Ignominious Comparison, think of what House I come from:
Fra.
From home for ought I know, and thither you may return.
Lop.
Expect to answer this.
Fra.
I will.
Lop.
You shall, This for thy Son.
[beats down Chocolate]
Fra.
This for thy Daughter.
[strikes down
Lob.
O! I've Scalded my hand,
Fra.
O my Leg, damn'd careless Dogs
[beats hopping.]
Lop.
'Tis Lam'd for ever, Oh revenge!
Fra.
Hang thy self;
Lop.
Burn thy self;
Fra.
Damn'd villains, blind villains:
I'le heale my hand in thy hearts blood.
Fra.
I'le bury my Legs in thy Guts, Doggs, hell-hounds, Sacrilegious,
Impious:
[Beats 'em off hopping.]
Lop.
O! I shan't be able to push this month.
Exit.
| The Successfull Straingers | |