University of Virginia Library


184

Scena secunda.

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Yf [I] *******[ghi]nge as oft as I thinke
how like a [foole I p]ut out my heade
with bakon in my hande and & my bole full of drinke.
ha ha ha
A couple of wise wisardes I tell you but wat yow what
godes bodykins methinke we are all scase drie
I haue be pist my house twenty pound to one groat
I laughe at the olde fooles so hartelye.
ha ha ha
Yow may perceiue what I am so muche I doe laughe
a foole yow knowe can kepe no measure
my master is waltum and I waltumes calfe
a foole in laughture puttethe all his pleasure
A foole (quoth yow) nay he is no foole
did yow not see what pittye he did take
he is able to sett your doctoures to schole
no smale poynt of wisdome for me such gere to make
Yf yow knewe what delightes he taketh in my presence
Yow woulde laughe I dare say now everye choone
He talketh of me I warrent yow in my absence
who but I to make him pastime who cham his none sonne
And proudly I tell yow to everie in commer
he bragges what a naturall his lucke was to haue

185

What how with his mannes voice he calles for will summer
[Wh]ere haue yow put him bringe him hether yow knave
[And] when I am come my properties he teles
[How si]mple, how honest, how faithfull, and trewe
*****[weth] me poyntes and many thinges else
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Perswadinge him selfe that I tell him all
what I can heare his servauntes to clatter
** [Mi]sogonus his sonne in kicthin or haule
***** he thinke can nether lye nor flatter.
[I te]ll him that I heare a verie good rumor
He is wilde but what thoughe he is not yet come to age
I knowe that this tale will delig[ht] his humor
hereafter they say heile be sober and sage.
And when I haue done I goe showe my yonge master
what he suspecteth and bydde him beware
for he is a ruffin, a spendall and waster
he can doe nothinge but get stroute & stare.
And so by my pollicye he taketh some hede
and sheweth not his madnes to his father alwayes
which otherwise will cause his hart for to blede
and make him his knaverye abroad for to blase.
Thinke yow not yt I harde their hole cōmunication
yes I warrent yow I hate everye white
I haue it even from the first salutation
well ile to my master & tell him of it.
But before I goe hence ile bestowe some of my poyntes
come of wt h a vengeaunce here is prety toyes
what will what dick be hanged stirr your ioyntes
what will yow none take them then boyes.

186

As for my pinnes ile bestowe them of Jone
when we sitt by ye fier and rost a crabb
she and I haue good sporte when we are all alone
by the mas I may say to yow she is an honest drabb.
Nothinge greues me but my yeares be so longe
my master will take me for balames asse
yf I can Ile tye thē doune with a thonge
yf not I will tell him I haue good kinge Midas.