University of Virginia Library

Scena secunda.

Enter Dorigene and Dorilus.
Dor.

Good Seignior no more irruptions, I tell you
what you shall trust to: I am not like a Mill, to be turn'd
with wind and water; not all your sighes and teares can
alter me, keepe 'hem for Custard-eating Dames i'th'
Citie, there they may prosper.

Thou art a handsome fellow, I confesse it,
Hast good parts too, I know it; Liuing sufficient
To keepe house i'th'Countrey, and inuite
Euery good Tyme thy Neighbors, and at Christmas
Distribute amongst the poore six pence apeece,
And a browne Loafe: Good Countrey vertues these,
And may perhaps serue for a Doctors daughter,
Though shee haue read Orlando Furioso.
But for me, that haue lookt higher into Poetrie,
And for a need can couple of my selfe,
Haue talkt with Montaigne and with Machiuel,
And can make vse of them; note him in this
Place shallow, here profound: and be th'only Starre
Whereto all Wits aduance their Iacobs Staffe,
And the Supreme cry me out Excellent.
What wud three hundred pound a yeere doe here?
'Twill keepe a blew Coat and a side Saddle,
But not maintaine my Coach-Horses in Prouander.

Doril.
Most excellent of Women, that you are worthy
All that your hopes can lodge in you, I graunt:
But Fortune and the Graces were at ods
When you were gotten, else you had bin made
As great as Dignitie can make a Woman.
But yet you know (I pray forgiue my plainenesse)
That in Estate you donnot equall me,
If that were it I lookt at.

Dor.
'Tis true:
I thinke my Portion is some seuen score pound,
And hardly that byrlady: what 'tis I know not,
It lyes aboue in the Garret in old rusty Armour.
But what's that to th'purpose: ther's a Spirit
(Good or bad, I know not) whispers vnto me;
Be an Empresse Wench, a Queene, or Duchesse,
Countesse, or Marquesse at least, for those are trifles.

Now Ile tell thee Dorilus, because thou art a handsome
Fellow, as I told thee before; when I am any one of
these, thou shalt enioy me, in plaine termes, lye with
me, and make a Cuckold: for my Ambition is to aduance
Greatnesse. Looke, here's thy Sister.

Enter Iulia.
Iul.
Come in a time I doubt to make you blush.
Why what mad conference are you two in?

Dor.
For my Ambition is to aduance Greatnesse.

Iul.
As how?

Dor.

Why as a Woman may doe; the manner is not
to be showne now. I am glad thou art come to take off
thy Brother.

Iul.

Take him off, why he is not so fierce, me thinkes.
What, doe you weepe Brother?

Dor.

Like a Watring-Pot; he wud make an excellent
Fountaine in the midst of a Garden.

Iul.

A moist Milke-sop Louer, hang him, on whom
Loue has no more operation then an Oynion: Why,
did not I tell you this was the wrong way, & taught you
the right; Lectur'd vnto you according to my owne
heart, and my heart is made of the same stuffe that other
Womens are: for shame leaue, it is both an ill sight and
an ill signe to see a man drop at the Nose.

Doril.

Why you mistake me, if you thinke I weepe.

Iul.

No; what vse then of your hand-kercher?

Doril.

Somthing has toucht my eye, that do's offend it.

Iul.

Some Feather like a Woman.

Doril.

Not so good Shuttle-cocke, your pointed wit
stabbes desperately at all times. Looke you, 'tis thus: If
you can loue me, faire one, so; if not—

Iul.

So.

Doril.

Yes.

Iul.

So, so: For he did but so, so, For he did but so, so,
and so let her goe.

Dor.

Ha, ha, ha, Thou art a mad Wench, and hast
mercy vpon no man, far worse then I.

Exit Dorilus.

Iul.

Not worse; much about one, as the Collier to
the Deuill: but what shall we doe, shall we not see the
Duke?

Dor.

Yes faith, and thou say'st the word, and laugh
him out of his Dominions: for to laugh him and all his
traine out of countenance, is nothing; I haue a great
mind to ieere the Courtiers.

Iul.

Prythe let's, there requires not much wit about it.

Dor.

Is't done?

Iul.

If my consent will do't, 'tis.

Dor.

Why then 'tis done, and dun's the Mouse, and
vndone all the Courtiers: my Father's gone before to
meet him.

Iul.

Yes, I saw him very spruce.

Dor.

Through out Ground he must come, the houre
iust at milking time.

Iul.

Yfaith 'twere good—ha, ha.

Dor.

Why do'st thou laugh?

Iul.

Why Ile tell thee sirrah.

Dor.

No sirrah, you shannot tell me, I wonnot lose
the glory of the inuention, for I know you haue found it.

Iul.
To goe like Milke-maids.

Dor.
I knew it must out, or thy tongue had burnt else,
To go like Milk maids, And like Milk-maids will we go,
To make sport with the Courtiers, and triumph.

Enter Frederick.
Fre.

Dor.

I wud my Father had bound thee Prentice seuen
yeeres agoe to a Scriuener, by this time thou hadst

lost thy Eares: What make you eues-dropping here?
I thought this had not bin a sober time of day with you.

Fre.

Faith want of money Sister is guilty of the sinne.
Come, supply, supply, or out goes all, Ile spoyle your
milking businesse.

Iul.

By this light if thou do'st, thou shalt starue for
want of Butter.

Fre.
Come, the Purse gingles, I heare it,
For Musicke with his Siluer Knell
Rings vs all in at the blew Bell.

Dor.
I must giue him some.

Iul.
Giue him all to be rid of him.

Dor.

What, you donnot meane to goe see the Duke,
Brother?

Fre.

Not I yfaith Sister, I haue a Ducke of mine
owne, that I must visit—T'other shilling—

Dor.

I haue no more, beleeue it.

Fre.

Pish, I cannot endure this paltring and patching
betweene Sister and Brother—So, now goe
your wayes and milke, but take heed of churning; our
Dayrie maid got the tooth-ach with—

Dor.

Your mouth's stopt, ist not?

Fre.

Vmh.

Dor.

Why so then, pray God the Wenches haue
cleane Wastcoats.

Iul.

You are resolu'd then.

Dor.

Resolu'd! Thou art a Foole Iulia, thou shalt see
I will doe things beyond credulitie.

Exeunt.
Fre.

This money shud ha'bought Tiffenie and Cobweb
Lawne, And what a sinne had that bin, to nurse
Pride, when it may purchase necessarie Claret?

My Father allowes me too little, I find that: And it were

not for this good natur'd Pagan, my Sister, I knew not
what to doe, vnlesse I shud run my head into a commoditie
of Hempe, and that I must take vp at the Gallowes
too, or else they wonnot trust me: yet I might haue a
Bargaine of Crock-Butter, if I could get an Heire to be
bound for't, your Countrey Gentlemen haue no maw
too't; but your Cockney were the only man, for he wud
take it vp, and 'twere but to make Tosts of.

Exit.