 | The Telltale |  |
II. i
28
Eli
sir though my seruant, and so dere vnto mee
I loue yow as my mirth; I would not therfore haue
yow & yor boistrous kinsman to make quarrells
and tauerne fraies about mee.
Count
how mr s? quarrells? why yf I had a magozine of vallor
as I am prittily well furnisht that way, do yow thinke
I hold yt not in a more sublime estimat then to lauish
yt out in street aduentures & tauerne ingagements
I am to full of manly rapsady for that
Eli
yow or yor kinsman.
Count
Bentivoli that ould swaggrer a fellow of a sublunary
intilect, & plebelon sinderisis; I hope yow ranke mee
among witts of a more metaphisicall Hierogliphick
for rather then my valor should raise on Ruffled Cloud
on yor beuteous ffrontispice, I would turne banquerupt
in [OMITTED] plead Crauen by writt & giue out my selfe
Coward by proclamation
Eli
I loue yow nere the worse for that seruant
fer
& I nere the better: had my brother halfe that witt
Count
hee would wt h the theorie of valor temper the pratique
of discretion; to a more obstruse state & fuller antiphona
of obseruation then hee does
fer
hee would take heed how hee put his finger in the fire
for a foole, another time but here Comes his man now
wee shall haue newes
Ent Clowne
29
sweet mr by venus: tale sword man by mars
fer
they haue beene at yt then.
Clow
my mr & the strange prince, & so at yt I will haue
them & theire true postures Cut out in pastboard to hange vp
in yor hale for a monument
Count
very good motion: describe yt Cancko
Clow
how describe, do I looke like a pupitt plaier, thus yt was
then; the strange prince to giue the diuell his due Came
downe like thunder, my mr flew vpon him like lightning
takes mee his posture thus, mounts mee his weapon thus
runs at tilt athim (as hee had beene wood) thus: ouerturnes
him thus & disarmes him thus;
Elinor
why now seruant downe
Count
shuch another earthquake would shake pelion downe in the lap
of ossa.
Clo
the motion sir youle giue mee leaue to describe the motion
fer
then my brother has disarmd the strange prince
Clo
& there had beene twenty of them; here he Comes himselfe
to Iustifie yt
ent benti: wt h two wepons
Bent
as hee likes this let him Chalendg mee another time
fer
thow didst meet him then brother
Bent
mett him or ouertaken him or somewhat, hee may rore
yf hee will, I haue broken his fanges for biting any in hast
30
yow haue done a peece of most ingenious seruice haue yow not
Bent
why fustian an apes yt likes mee & I am no fidlere
31
Elinor
how euer sir yow might haue raisd yor quarrell
vpon some other subiect then my beuty
Bent
yor bewty I see none yow haue, none that I mind at least
& 'thad not beene more for his reputation then yor beuty
Count
my reputation, oh diapason of ignorance, as yf I were
not bigg enough to maintaine myne owne reputation
Bent
so ys an oxe big enough to kill a butcher & the beast
had but the hart toot; why did yow not not maintain't when
the prince threw yor sodden sheeps liuer in yor Cowards
[throat] teeth as hee did
Count
most beggerly euasion. why say the prince and I entred
the lists of antigonisme to breake our timpanons & pursy
witts, witts a litle; must yor Luciferian or to speake more
full plenilunium pride make sawcy & sodaine interposi
tion twixt our witts, no more the good opinion I Conceiud
of yor valor ys shrewdly darkned yf not totaly eclipsd
by't; no such malipert Comet shall twinckle in the
hemisphere of my society and therfore absent thy selfe
Bent
marry farwell & be hangd.
Exiturus
fer
what dost thow meane brother
Bent
to make my selfe a freeman. for thers no slauery
Comparable to a foole or a Cowards society: here but
an ould tale that Ile tell yee to that purpose and youle
Confesse as much; vpon a time a Couple of ffreinds
& nere kinsmen sworne to second each other in all dangers
Chancst to trauaille through a wildernes, where sudainly a
hungry beare rusht out vpon um the one of them like a
white liuerd Coward tooke himselfe to his heeles, Climbd
vp a tree & left his freind in ye danger, who being vnarmd &
32
to weake for his enimy fell mee flatt to the grownd and
Counterfeits him selfe dead the beare smelling to him and
taking him by the holding of his breath to bee dead, scorning
to pray vpon a liueles Carcasse mussled about his face and
necke a while and then left him being out of sight once
his fellow Came Creeping out of the tree; and askt him
what the beare whispered him so long in the eare for, marry
quoth hee amongst many other good & holsome instructions
he wisht mee neuer to entertaine freindship wt h a foole
nor hold society wt h a Coward; and yf I follow not
his Councell let mee nere tell tale more & I had rather
see thee hangd & in that hope I leaue thee
exit
Elinor
yow tell mee wonders the prince hortensio
frantike for losse of his weapon.
Gis:
and in a melancholy dispaire that yow loue him not
but Cuds mee my lord haue a Care to yor selfe yare but
a dead man elce
Eli
Cupid defend yow stricke mee dead; for what?
Gis
prince borgias ys so enrag'd for his brothers disgrace
imagining yor loue to the princes to bee the Cheife grownd
of yt, seeks yow vp & downe the Court, from lodging to
lodging; wt h a Chargd pistole in one hand and a steelleto in
the other, vowing to murther yow where ere hee finds yee
the princes armes shall not bee yor priuileidg
33
swelst thow proud buble ys not thy brothers fall
president sufficient; Cossen bentivoli
fer
hees gone in rage and vowes neuer to draw sword
in yor quarrell more
Coun
& ys the saucy mortall vanisht
Elinor
yes in truth mirth the hierogliphicke tooke his exit Iust
vpon his qu[e] why do yow tremble so.
Count
tis no diapason of base feare but an altus of high indignation
begetts this earthquake of manly rapsady in mee so fierce
and violent that except yow bind the hands of my valour
wt h the Cords of imposition; I shall at our next interveiw
finish his vitalls & write finis to his mortality
Elinor
but ys yor rage so metaphisically dangerous
Count
and heirogliphically sodaine I proffesse & therfore Coueigh mee
wt h a strong guard to my tenants in the Country
Elinor
Country alas I Cannot liue wt hout yee
take away my mirth [& kill] from mee & kill mee
Gis
take my aduise, Ile tell yow how yow may inioy him as fully
at least most freely then euer yow did; & no danger nether
Count
Ile purchase thee place in Chronicle & thow dost know how
Gis
thus yow may liue in the Court, nay in her Chamber
in disguise
Elinor
thers a heirogliphick I neuer drempt of how likst yt mirth
34
as I am true Cacumenos a non vltra wt hout paralell but
what disguise
Clow
I haue bethought one fitt for yor pallate, in wc h yow may not
only plesure yor freind but play the knaue wt h yor selfe
Count
most hierogliphick
Clow
haue egresse & regresse into yor ladyes Chamber at midnight
nay kisse her hand & tumble in her lap a fore yor riualls face
Elinor
thers a non vltra indeed mirth what disguise ys there foole
Clow
why yow haue namd yt a fooles madam a foole may doe
all things & [nere] no man say blacks his eye.
Elinor
yt stands out of the way of suspition. I Confes, but his
metaphisicall languadge will neuer stoope so low as
the diapason on't
Count
and an eight below yt for yor loue & delight I profes
& that most ingeniously I haue retird my summu bonu
to barr from the epicure) in the sinderisis of figure &
true heirogliphicke of phrases and haue tooke some litle
paines in the searching rethoriks & tempting pills of di
loqution to purge the in fected body of our languadge
from licentious barbarisme and bring yt to a sound and
healthsome dialect yet for yor sake I will Camelionise
or Change my selfe into the shape of a Chimnysweeper.
Eli
I feare not the shape but the languadge
Count
of a silent looke that ys but stiffning to my Comon places
Clow
what are they bawdy houses they are the Comonst places I know
35
let mee see foole [OMITTED] foole athe age I am
Clo
toward foole hee answers to his name alredy mee thinks my
lord yow do Camelionise the hierogliphicall Ca[s]tastracks
& Cacuminos diapason in print
Count
all in print I asure yee but to the foole passing the genus
36
fooles some bee fatt some leane.
Elinor
no matter I thinke thers no great diffrerence mongst fooles
Count
more then amongst wisemen a great deale & therfore
what kind of foole & I am yor man of Iudgment
Elinor
I am loath yow should bee any but since yow will bee
one spight of my teeth I would not haue yow bee
a bawdy foole nor a beastly foole to eate milk wt h ladles
nor spoyle yor face wt h Custards no bee a fine foole a neate
foole
Count
no more instructions now I haue the Course on't mee thinks
I am more then halfe a foole alredy
fer
I do not thinke but a litle of my ladyes help will make
yow one altogether
Elinor
Into my Clossett & Ile do my best presently but as yow
respect my fauour not a word on't
exeunt
fernese.
I haue seald vp my lipps madam
exit
Clow
I haue naild vp myne wt h a double ten. a paire of the
strongest pincers in the towne shall not draw yt out agen
well may tradsmen turne banqrouts when lords turne fooles
I am sworne to say nothing & Ile keep myne oath I know
this ys a plott of my ladyes of purpose to abuse him & I
do meane to see how hee passes in the Court in his fooles
lackett sure tis on a pantafle giue him ten pownd anda a
purse & pump him & that most hierogliphically.
exeunt
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