 | Amends for Ladies |  |
Actus quarti
Scæna prima.
Enter Widdovv vndrest, a sword in her hand, and Bovld in his shirt, as started from bed.Wid.
Vnciuill man, if I should take thy life,
It were not to be weigh'd with thy attempt:
Thou hast for euer lost mee.
Bould.
Maddam, why?
Can loue beget losse? Doe I couet you
Vnlawfully? Am I an vnfit man
To make an husband of? Send for a Priest,
First consummate the match, and then to bed
Without more trouble.
Wid.
No, I will not doe't.
Bould.
Why you confest to mee as you'r Gentlewoman,
I was the man your heart did most affect:
That you did doate vpon my minde and body.
So, by the sacred and inuiolate knot
Of marriage, I doe, but will not wed thee.
Bould.
Why yet inioy me now. Consider Lady,
That little, but blest time, I was in bed,
Although I lay as by my sisters side,
The world is apt to censure otherwise:
So 'tis necessitie that wee marry now.
Wid.
Pish, I regard not (at a straw) the world:
Fame from the tongues of men doth iniury
Oftner then Iustice: and as conscience
Onely makes guilty persons, not report:
(For shew we cleare as springs vnto the world,
If our owne knowledge doe not make vs so,
That is no satisfaction to our selues,)
So stand wee ne're so leprous to mens eye,
It cannot hurt hart-knowne integritie.
You haue trusted to that fond opinion,
This is the way to haue a widdow-hood,
By getting to her bed: Ahlas young man,
Should'st thou thy selfe tell thy companions
Thou hadst dishonour'd mee (as you men haue tongues
Forked and venom'd 'gainst our subiect sexe)
It should not moue me, that know 'tis not so:
Therefore depart, Truth be my vertuous shield.
Bould.
Few widdowes would doe thus.
Wid.
All modest, would.
Bould.
To be in bed and in possession
Euen of the marke I aim'd at, and goe off
Foild and disgrac't, come, come, you'll laugh at me
Behind my back, publish I wanted spirit,
And mock me to the Ladies, call me childe,
Say you denide me but to trie the heate
And zeale of my affection toward you,
Then clap't vp with a rime, as for example.
Hee coldly loues, retires, for one vaine triall,
For wee are yeelding, when we make deniall.
Wid.
Seruant I make no question, from this time
You'll hold a more reuerent opinion
To assure you that there are amongst vs good:
And with this continencie, if you goe away,
I'le be so farre from thinking it defect,
That I will hold you worthlest of men.
Bould.
S'hart, I am Tantalus, my long'd for fruit
Bobs at my lips, yet still it shrinks from me.
Haue not I that, which men say neuer failes
To o'recome any? oportunitie?
Come, come, I am too cold in my assault.
By all the vertues, that yet euer were
In man, or woman, I with reuerence
Doe loue thee Ladie, but will be no foole
To let occasion slip, her fore-top from me.
Wid.
You will faile this way to, vpon my knees
I doe desire thee to preserue thy vertues,
And with my teares my honor; t'is as bad
To loose our worths to them, or to deceaue
Who haue held worthy opinions of vs,
As to betray trust: all this I implore
For thine owne sake, not mine, as for my selfe,
If thou bee'st violent, by this stupid night,
And all the mischiefes her darke wombe hath bred,
I'le raise the house, I'le crie a rape.
Bo.
I hope you will not hang me, that were murther Ladie,
A greater sinne, then lying with me sure.
Wid.
Come, flatter not your selfe with argument,
I will exclaime; the law hangs you, not I,
Or if I did, I had rather farre confound
The deerest bodie in the world to me,
Then that, that bodie, should confound my soule.
Bould.
Your soule, ahlas Mistresse, are you so fond
To thinke her generall destruction
Can be procur'd by such a naturall act,
Which beasts are borne to and haue priuiledge in?
Fie, fiie, if this could be, farre happier
Are sensitiue soules in their creation
Than man the prince of creatures, thinke you Heauen
Those acts, for which he hath ordained vs?
Wid.
You argue like an Atheist, man is neuer
The prince of creatures, as you call him now,
But in his reason, faile that, he is worse
Than Horse, or Dog, or beasts of wildernesse,
And t'is that reason teacheth vs to doe
Our actions vnlike them: then that which you
Termed in them a priuiledge beyond vs,
The basenesse of their being doth expresse,
Compar'd to ours, Horses, Buls, and Swine,
Doe leape their Dams, because man does not so,
Shall we conclude his making happilesse?
Bould.
You put me downe, yet will not put me downe,
I am too gentle, some of you I haue heard,
Loue not these words but force, to haue it done
As they sing prick-song, e'ne at the first sight.
Wid.
Go too, keep off, by Heauen and Earth, i'le call else.
Bould.
How if no bodie heare you?
Wid.
If they doe not,
I'le kill you with mine owne hand, neuer stare,
Or failing that fall on this sword my selfe.
Bould.
Oh widdow wonderfull, if thou bee'st not honest.
Now God forgiue my mother and my sisters.
Thinke but how finely Madam vndiscouer'd
For euer you and I, might liue all day your Gentlewoman
To doe you seruice, but all night your man
To doe you seruice, newnesse of the trick,
If nothing else might stirre ye.
Wid.
T'is a stale one
And was done in the Fleete ten yeares agoe,
Will you begon? the doore is open for you.
Bould.
Let me but tarrie till the morning Madam,
To send for clothes, shall I goe naked home.
Wid.
T'is best time now, it is but one a clock,
And you may goe vnseene, I sweare by Heauen,
I would spend all the night to sit and talke w'ee,
If I durst trust you, I doe loue you so,
Bould.
S'hart, will you marrie me heereafter then?
Wid.
No, you are too yong, and I am much too old;
I and vnworthy, and the world will say,
We married not for loue, good morrow seruaut.
Ex. Wid.
Bould.
Why so? these women are the erranst Iuglers in
the World, the wry-leg'd fellow is an Asse to 'em. Well I
must haue this wddow, what e're come on't: Faith she has
turn'd me out of her seruice verie barely, harke, whats heere,
musique.
Enter Svbtle with a paper, and his Boy with a cloake.
Subt.
Rise Ladie Mistresse, rise:
The night hath tedious beene,
No sleepe hath fallen into my eies,
Nor slambers made me sinne.
Is not she a Saint then say,
Thought of whom keepes sinne away?
Rise Madame, rise and giue me light,
Whom darkenesse still will couer,
And ignorance darker than night,
Till thou smile on thy louer;
All want day till thy beautie rise,
For the graie morne breakes from thine eies.
Now sing it sirrha.
[The Song sung by the Boy.
Subt.
S'foote, who's this? yong Master Bould? God saue
you, you are an earely stirrer.
Bould.
You say true Master Subtle, I haue beene earely
vp, but as God helpe me, I was neuer the neere.
Subt.
Where haue you beene Sir?
Bould.
What's that to you Sir? at a womans labour.
Subt.
Very good: I neare tooke you for a man Mid-wife
before.
Bould.
The troth is, I haue beene vp all night at dice, &
lost my clothes, good morrow Master Subtle, pray God the
Watch be broke vp: I thanke you for my Musique:
Exit:
Subt:
Tis palpable by this aire, her husband being abroad,
Bould has layen with her, and is now conuar'd out of doores.
Is this the Ladie Perfect with a poxe? The truth is, her vertuous
still holding out to me, notwithstanding her husbands most
barbarous vsage of her, but now indeede t'is no maruaile
since another possesses her. Well Madame, Ile go finde out
your Cuckold, ile be reueng'd on you and tell a tale
Shall tickle him, this is a cheate in loue,
Not to be borne, another to be guile
Me of the game, I plaid for all this while.
Exit.
Enter Weltri'd, and Bovld puting on his doublet, Fee-simple on a bed, as in Bould's chamber.
Welt.
You see, we made bould with your lodging, indeed,
I did assure my selfe, you were fast for this night.
Bo.
But how the Deuill came this foole in your companie?
Welt.
S'foote man, I carried him last night among the
Rorers, to flesh him, and by this light he got drunke, and
beate e'm all.
Bould.
Why then he can endure the fight of a drawne
sword now?
Welt.
Oh God Sir, I thinke in my conscience, he will eate
steele shortlie, I know not how his conuersion will hold
after this sleepe, but in an houre or two (last night) he was
growne such a little dam-me, that I protest, I was afraid of
the spirit, that I my selfe had rais'd in him: but this other
matter of your expulsion thus mads me to the heart; Were
you in bed with her?
Bould.
In bed by Heauen.
Welt.
I'le be hang'd, if you were not busie to soone, you
should haue let her slept first.
Bould.
Z'oones man, she put her hands to my breasts, and
swore I was no maid, now I being eager to proue her words
true, tooke that hint, and would violently haue thrust her
hand lower, when her thought being swifter then my
strength, made her no sooner imagine that she was betrai'd,
but she leapes out of the bed, whips me downe a sword that
hung by, and as, if fortitude and justice had met to assist
her, spight of all argument faire or fowle she forc't me away.
Welt.
But is't possible thou should'st haue no more wit,
would'st thou come away vpon any tearmes, but sure ones,
armes? By that light, if I had a sonne of 14 whom I had
help't thus farre, that had seru'd me so, I would breech him.
Bould.
S'hart, what would you haue me done?
Welt.
Haue done? done, done twice at least.
Bould.
Haue plaid Tarquin and rauish't her.
Welt.
Pish, Tarquin was a block-head, if he had had any
wit and could haue spoke, Lucrece had neuer been rauished,
she would haue yeelded, I warrant thee, & so wil any woman
Bould.
I was such an erronious heretique to loue, and
women, as thou art, till now.
Welt.
God's pretious, it makes me mad, when I thinke
on't: was there euer such an obsur'd trick? now will she abuse
thee horriblie, say thou art a faint-hearted fellow, a
milk-sop and I know not what, as indeede thou art.
Bould.
Z'oones, would you had beene in my place.
Welt.
Z'oones, I would I had, I would haue so jumbl'd her
honestie: would'st thou be held out at staues end with words?
dost not thou know a widdow's a weake vessell, and is easily
cast if you close.
Bould.
Weltri'd, you deale vnfriendly.
Welt.
By this light I shal blush to be seen in thy companie.
Bould.
Pray leaue my chamber.
Welt.
Poxe vpon your chamber,
I care not for your chamber, nor your selfe
More than you care for me.
Bo.
S'blood I as little for you.
Welt.
Why fare you well.
Bo.
Why, fare-well you. Weltri'd, I prithee stay,
Thou know'st I loue thee.
Welt.
S'hart, I loue you as well; but for my spleene, or
choller I thinke, I haue as much as you.
Bo.
Well friend, this is the businesse you must doe for me,
Repaire vnto the widdow, where giue out,
To morrow morne, I shall be married,
Inuite her to the wedding, I haue a trick,
To put vpon this Lord to, whom I made
My instrument to preferre me.
Welt.
What shall follow,
The iars twixt friends, still keeps their friendship sweet.
Ex.
Feesi.
Why Weltri'd, you rogue, whats that a vision?
Bould.
Why how now my Lord? who do you call rogue?
the Gentleman you name is my friend, if you were wise I
should be angrie.
Feesi.
Angrie with me? why dam me Sir, and you be;
Cut with your sword, it is not with me I tell you
As it was yesterday, I am flesht man, I.
Haue you any thing to say to me?
Bould.
Nothing but this, how many doe you thinke,
you haue slaine last night?
Feesi.
Why fiue, I neuer kill lesse.
Bould.
There was but foure: my Lord, you had best prouide
your selfe and begon, three you haue slaine starke dead.
Feesi.
You jest.
Bould.
T'is most true, Weltri'd is fled.
Feesi.
Why let the Rorers meddle with me another time,
as for flying, I scorne it, I kild 'em like a man; when did you
euer see a Lord hang for any thing? we may kill whom we
list, marry my conscience pricks me; ah plague a this drinke,
what things it makes vs doe, I doe no more remember this
now than a puppie-dogge.
Vaine world adiew, for I will rore no more.
Bould.
Nay stay my Lord, I did but trie the tendernesse
of your conscience, all this is nothing so, but to sweeten the
tale (I haue for you) I foretold you this fain'd mischance.
Feesi.
Is it a tale belonging to the Widdow?
Bould.
I thinke you are a witch.
Feesi.
My grand-mother was suspected.
Bould.
The Widdow has desired you by me to meete her
to morrow morning at Church in some vnknowne disguise,
least any suspect it, for quoth she.
Therefore I will be his in nuptiall band.
Feesi.
Bould, I haue euertaken you to be my friend, I am
very wise now, and valiant, if this be not true, dam me Sir,
good with my sword.
Bould.
I am, what e're you please Sir, If it be not true, I will
goe with you to the Church my selfe, your disguise I haue
thought on; the Widdow is your owne. Come, leaue your
fooling.
Feesi.
If this be true, thou little Boy, Bould.
Cant.
So true, as thou tel'st to me,
To morrow morne when I haue the Widdow,
My deare friend shalt thou be.
Exeunt.
Enter Maid like the foote-boy: Seldome with a couple of Serieants, Pits, Donner.
Maid.
Sir, t'is most true and in this shall you be
vnlike to other Citizens that arrest
To vndoe Gentlemen: your clemencie heere
perchance saues two liues, one from the others sword,
The other from the Lawes; this morne they fight,
And though your debtor be a Lord, yet should he
Miscarrie, certainely your debt were lost.
Seld.
Do'st thou serue the Lord Proudly?
Maid.
Sir, I do.
Seld.
Well, such a Boy as thou, is worth more money
Then thy Lord owes me, t'is not for the debt
I doe arrest him, but to end this strife,
Which both may loose my money and his life.
Enter Lord Provdly with a riding rod.
Pr.
My Horse there, Z'oones I would not for the world
He should alight before me in the field,
My name and honor were for euer lost.
Seld.
Good morrow to your Honor, I doe heare
Your Lordship this faire morning is to fight,
And for your honor: Did you neuer see
The Play, where the fat Knight hight Old-castle,
Did tell you truly what this honor was?
Pr.
Why, how now good man flat-cap, what d'ee lack?
Who doe you talke to, sirrha?
1. Serg.
We arrest you.
Pr.
Arrest me, rogue? I am a Lord ye curs, a Parliament
man.
2. Serg.
Sir, we arest you though.
Pr.
At whose suit?
At mine, Sir.
Pr.
Why thou base rogue, did not I set thee vp,
Hauing no stock, but thy faire shop and wife?
Seld.
Into my house with him.
Maid.
Away with him, away with him.
Pr.
A plot, a trick by Heauen. See Ingens foote-boy, t'is
by his Masters meanes, oh coward, slaue; i'le put in baile, or
pay the debt.
Sel.
I, I, I, wee'll talke with you within—thrust him in.
Ex.
Enter Ingen looking on his sword and bending it, his brother like a Man.
Ing.
If I miscarrie Franck, I prithee see
All my debts paid, about fiue hundred pounds
Will fully satisfie all men, and my land
And what I else possesse, by natures right
And thy descent, Franck, I make freely thine.
Broth.
I know, you doe not thinke I wish you dead
For all the benefit: besides, your spirit
So opposite to counsaile, to auert
Your resolution, that I saue my breath,
Which would be lost in vaine, to expire and spend
Vpon your foe if you fall vnder him.
Ing.
Franck, I protest you shall doe iniurie
Vnto my foe, and much disturbance to
Vnto my soule departing, die I heere
Fairely, and on my single enemies sword,
If you should not let him go off vntouch't.
Now by the Master of thy life and mine,
I loue thee Boy, beyond any example,
As well as thou do'st me, but should I goe
Thy second to the field, as thou dost mine,
And if thine enemie kild thee like a man,
I would desire, neuer to see him more,
But he should beare himselfe off with those wounds
He had receau'd from thee, for that time safe,
And without persecution by the Law,
For what hap is our foes, might be our owne,
And no mans iudgement, sits in Iustice place,
Broth.
He has the aduantage of you being a Lord,
For should you kill him, you are sure to die,
And by some Lawyer with a golden tongue,
That cries for right, ten angels on his side;
Your daring meete him, cal'd presumption:
But kill he you, hee, and his noble friends
Haue such a golden snaffle for the jawes
Of man, deuouring Pithagorean Law,
Thei'le reyne her stubborne chaps, e'ne to her taile:
And though she haue yron teeth to meaner men,
So master her, that who displeasd her most,
She shall lie vnder like a tired jade,
For small boates on rough seas are quickly lost,
But ships ride safe, and cut what by they list.
Ing.
Follow what may, I am resolu'd deare Brother,
This monster vallor, that doth feed on men,
Groanes in me for my reputation.
This charge I giue thee to, If I doe die,
Neuer to part from the yong Boy, which late
I entertain'd, but loue him for my sake:
And for my Mistresse the Ladie Honor,
Whom to deceiue, I haue deceiu'd my selfe.
If she be dead, pray God I may giue vp
My life a sacrifice on her, brothers sword;
But if thou liu'st to see her gentle brother,
If I be slaine, tell her I dy'de because
I had transgrest against her worthy loue.
This sword is not well mounted, lets see thine.
Enter Maid like a foote-boy.
Maid.
Your staying Sir, is in vaine, for my Lord Proudly,
Iust at his taking horse to meete you heere,
At Seldomes suit the Citizen, was arrested
Vpon an action of two hundred pounds,
I saw it Sir, t'is true.
Ing.
Oh, scuruie Lord,
It had beene a cleanlier shift then this to haue had
It hinder'd by command, he being a Lord,
Enter Lord Provdly.
Proud.
You see, valiant Sir, I haue got loose
Pro. stabs his sister.
For all your stratagem, oh rogue are you there.
Ing.
Most ignoble Lord.
Ingen stabs Proud. in the left arme.
Proud.
Coward thou did'st this
That I might be disabled for the fight,
Or that thou mightst haue some excuse to shun me,
But t'is my left arme, thou hast lighted on.
I haue no second; heere are three of you,
If all doe murther me, your consciences
Will more then hang you, damn you; come prepare.
In.
Brother walk off, & take the boy away, is he hurt much?
Bro.
Nothing or very little.
Fr. thrusts the Boy out.
Ing.
Ile bind your wound vp first, your losse of blood
May sooner make you faint.
Pr.
Ingen, thou art a worthy Gentleman, for this curtesie,
Go-too i'le saue thy life, come on Sir: hay,
a passe or two.
I'le cut your codpeice point Sir, with this thrust,
And then downe goes your breeches.
Ing.
Your Lordships merrie
passe.
I had like to haue spoild your cut-worke band.
Enter Maid like a foote-boy running, Brother after him, Maid kneeles betwixt'em.
Maid.
Oh Master, hold your hand, my Lord hold yours,
Or let your swords meete in this wretched breast,
Yet you are both well, what blood you haue lost
Giue it as for the iniurie you did, and now be friends,
Pr.
S'hart, t'is a louing rogue.
Ing.
Kind Boy, stand vp, t'is for thy wound he bleeds,
My wrong is yet vnsatisfied.
Pr.
Hence away it is a Sisters losse, that whets my sword.
Mai.
Oh stay, my Lord, behold your sister heere
discouers her selfe.
Bleeding by your hand Seruant see your mistresse
Turn'd to thy seruant running by thy Horse,
Whose means it was to haue preuented this, but all in vaine.
Broth.
Oh noble Ladie.
Ing.
Most worthie patterne of all women kind.
Proud.
Ingen, I am satisfied, put vp your sword.
The Lord Fee-simple's father, old, but rich:
This Gentleman is no match for you; kneele not,
That portion of yours, I haue consum'd,
Thus marrying, you shall neuer come to want.
Maid.
Oh! sweet my Lord, my brother do not force me,
To breake my faith or to a loathed bed.
Ing.
Force you, he shall not, brother beare her hence,
Shee is my wife, and thou shalt finde my cause
Ten times improu'd now.
Pr.
Oh, haue at you Sir.
Ma.
Hold, hold for heauens sake, was e're wretched Lady
Put to this hazard? Sir, let me speake
But one word with him, and i'le goe with you,
And vndergoe, what euer you command.
Proud.
Doo't quickly, for I loue no whispering,
T'is strange to see you Madame with a sword,
You should haue come hither in your Ladies cloathes.
Maid.
Well, as you please my Lord, you are witnesse,
whatsoe're before
Were not I mad, to thinke thou could'st loue me
That would'st haue slain my Brother?
Pr.
Sai'st true sister.
Ing.
Oh thou faire creature! wilt thou be as false as other
Ladies?
Maid.
Thou art my example,
Ile kisse thee once, farewell for euer, come my Lord, now
Match me, with whom you please, a tumbler.
I must doe this, else had they fought againe.
Pr.
Mine own best Sister, farewel Mr. Ingen.
Ex. Pr. & Ma.
Broth.
Oh antient truth to be denied of no man,
An Eele by'th taile's held surer than a woman.
Exeunt.
| Amends for Ladies | |