University of Virginia Library

SCENE III.

—Memphis. A throne on L. side. Enter dancers, preceding Ptolemy. Princess Sabra and Court from C. Cymbals, drums, Cannon, &c.
Pto.
Silence! What! can't my majesty walk out,
But after me you raise this horrid rout?
Upon my daughter's nerves I'm sure it jars:
The soldiers all seem bravos or hussars.

Sab.
You're right papa; I dread the cannon's roar:
'Tis the old dose, “the powder, as before.”
A princess now, no matter if it suits her,
Can't move, but some artillery man salutes her.

[Guns, Trumpets, &c.
Enter Messenger, C.
Pto.
Those guns again! (to Messenger.)
Well, Mister! where's the joke?

Mes.
Morocco's king is coming through the smoke.

Pto.
Morocco's king! Oh, how delightful is it
To see two sovereigns one another visit!
And you, my love! are you, too, not delighted,
That the black king should come here unin-whited.

Sab.
I've not the least anxiety to greet him;
He's nothing but black looks for all who meet him.

Mes.
Most beauteous princess! from my master this is.

[gives a letter, and retires.
Sab.
[Shews letter, on which are two large red patches.
How dare he with the wax make two large kisses.
[Opens letter, and shews a black heart with an arrow in it.
What's this? A valentine! He writes in vain;
His doggrel verses not one point contain.
But there's a rule commanded by his betters,
That nothing pointed must be sent in letters.
With one I lov'd, I'd share a second floor;
But I've a horror of a blackymoor.

Pto.
He's rich and liberal, Miss, I understand:
The nigger deals not with a niggard hand.

[Music. During which enter Almidor and train.
Pto.
I bid you welcome, tell me how do you do?

Alm.
I'm Robertish or Bobbish, how are you?
And you my princess, (one offers to take his banjo)

Thank you, you're too good,

Sab.
(aside)
I'd look as black as he does if I could.

Alm.
To you, dear Miss, I sent a billet doux,
My heart you saw there skewered thro' and thro'.
Accept my hand, which here I offer plump,
My hand includes a heart, and that's a trump.

Sab.
I'm flattered by the preference you show,
But to your offer I must answer, no!

Alm.
The presents you've received—

Sab.
Sir, if you'll call,
They'll be left for you in the porter's hall.

SONG.—Almidor.
Air.—“My heart with love is beating.”
My heart with love is beating,
Like Drummer-boys at drill;
And though with coldness meeting,
It keeps tattooing still.
My prospects, Miss, are fairish;
I make my subjects pay.
I swear to “love and cherish,”
If you will say “obey.”

[Trumpet.] Enter St. George, C.
Pto.
A stranger! if to you 'tis all the same,
I'll thank you to oblige me with your name.

St. Geo.
My name's St. George—

Pto.
Indeed! whence do you come?

Alm.
That is, who are you when you are at home?

St. Geo.
Dear England, sire, I quitted to come here,

Alm.
Dear England! yes, I've heard it's rather dear!

Pto.
Why did you leave it?

St. Geo.
I can scarcely say.

Alm.
(sneeringly)
The income tax he didn't want to pay;

St. Geo.
If that I would elude, it's very plain
To England I must ne'er go back again.

Alm.
Nay, there's no knowing, wonders never end!
For Pennsylvania's paid a dividend.
I've also heard—don't let it be repeated,
The bridge at Hungerford will be completed.

Sab.
(aside)
I think that saint's a very charming fellow,
[Sees Almidor watching her angrily.
Ho! ho! King Blacky there is getting yellow.

Pto.
I hope your stay in Egypt won't be short,
If fond of sporting, we can show you sport.
If you would build we'll grant you ground on lease.

St. Geo.
I thank you—we've enough of absentees.

[St. George points to Sabra.
Alm.
Zounds! at the Princess he presumes to point,
Dares he to put a King's nose out of joint.

St. Geo.
Who is that lovely creature in the corner,
The Graces have united to adorn her.

Pto.
The lady you admire, sir, is my daughter,

St. Geo.
Ah! she returns my glance, by George, I've caught her.

Sab.
I've made a conquest! (to Audience)
does'nt he look killing?

[St. George kisses his hand to her.
Alm.
(to Audience)
Well, did you ever see a saucier villain.

Pto.
Let some one blow a trumpet! That will do,
[Two obey.
I said some one—now some one don't mean two.
(sits)
In honor of our guests, great Egypt's King
Will pardon everybody, everything!

[Omnes shout.
Pto.
Come speak! don't let our royal mercy wait—

[The Chancellor of the Exchequer kneels.
Cha.
I've done a grievous wrong, sire, to the state.

Pto.
Our Chancellor of the Exchequer! well—

Alm.
(aside)
If he's like mine, he'll have enough to tell.

Cha.
I have been paying, sire, for money lent—

Pto.
How much, sir, speak?

Cha.
Why, forty-five per cent.

Pto.
What borrow! when you've subjects, sir, to tax!

Alm.
Oh! that's a question which I often ax;
My treasury ne'er a surplus has to brag on,

Pto.
(shaking Chancellor)
Who dared to take this interest?

Cha.
Sire, the Dragon.

Omnes.
The Dragon!

[Private Secretary kneels.
Pto.
What, my own Secretary! don't shake and shiver,
But what you have to say, stand and deliver.
What hast thou done?

P. Sec.
I've given a permission
To any one to practice as physician;
And poisons being sold in box and flaggon,
By a quack doctor—

Alm.
Who's the quack? the Dragon.

Omnes.
The Dragon!

Pto.
(as Privy Purse kneels)
More to be pardoned! This is worse and worse.
Why, who is this? Aha! my Privy Purse!

Alm.
(aside to Ptolemy)
Take my advice, and never trust your riches
Out of the pockets of your royal—small clothes.

Pto.
Your majesty will please to cease this raillery.
(To Privy Purse)
What have you done?

P. Purse.
I've lost my quarter's salary.

Pto.
Ha! ha!
Is that the worst, old boy, you have to tell?

P. Purse.
Oh, no! I've lost your majesty's as well!

Pto.
How lost it? Varlet, speak! or, dash my wig
I'll call police.

P. Purse.
Great sire, at thimble rig.

Pto.
Proceed! At other times you fast can mag on.
Whom did you play with? Ah! I see—the Dragon.

Omnes.
The Dragon?

Ptol.
I'll hear no more. This Dragon must be slaughter'd.
(rises)
Where hangs he out?

Alm.
He must be somewhere quartered.

St. Geo.
That task be mine, sire, by your kind permission.

Pto.
You've seen him?

St. Geo.
At the Chinese exhibition.

P. Min.
To ask fair Sabra's hand he vows he'll come.

Sab.
The brute! I'd rather marry Thomas Thumb.

P. Min.
Then the state's bankrupt, Ma'am!

Alm.
Let the state be—
Hum! for the rest see Walker, letter D—.

Pto.
I'll not be treated in this shameful manner.
What ho! A paint brush, and a snow-white banner
(Music. They are brought. He writes.)
My royal daughter's hand I offer down,
And in addition to it half-a-crown.

[A banner exhibited on which is written, “Half-a-crown and the Princess Sabra's hand to him. who does the Dragon!”
Alm.
What, only half-a-crown! That's rather mean.

Pto.
'Tis Egypt's half crown, when my daughter's queen.
I make this offer unto any one
By whom the Dragon shall be fairly done,

St. Geo.
The lady's hand sure prize enough will be—

(about to take Sabra's hand)
Alm
(interferes)
Hollo! young man, you'll take that after me.

DUETT.
St. George and Almidor.
St. Geo.
I'll thank you to mention, if 'tis your intention,
In that lady's affection my rival to be?
For if it is, sir, I'll only say this, sir,
Consider you're horsewhipp'd this moment by me.

Alm.
The lady has taste, sir, she'll ne'er be disgraced, sir,
By wedding with one who's so horridly vain.
So pray, sir, take warning, or else, some fine morning,
'Twill be pistols for two, so don't do it again.

Both.
Dont, &c.

[At the end of the Duett the people rush on in great alarm, crying out—“The Dragon!”
Pto.
Why has this sudden outcry, pray, arisen?

P. Purse.
The Dragon, sire, will put us all in prison.

Alm.
You're safe enough, and that on legal grounds,
If all your debts are under twenty pounds.

[A noise is heard without. Gong, &c. And enter Dragon. All crowd together in fear, excepting St. George.
Dra.
Insolent crew! Well may ye run away!
That which you owe me wherefore don't ye pay?
The mildest Dragon 'tis enough to vex,
I hold your bills returned—your unpaid cheques.
(to Privy Purse)
The only terms on which I offer quarter,
Is money down, or else your monarch's daughter.

Alm.
You'll find a prior claimant, sir, in me,
I'm in possession as the mortgagee.

Dra.
Sir, your pretensions are of no avail,
For I can boast a tenancy in tail;
And I'm entitled in another manner,
I'll even take my stand upon the banner.

St. Geo.
Pooh! pooh! the offer's made to any one,
By whom the Dragon shall be fairly done.

Dra.
That's an achievement I alone can brag on,
I claim the prize, 'tis I that does the Dragon.

Alm.
The lovely maid was never made for you.

Dra.
What! dare you brave me?

[They swagger.
Dra., Alm.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!

FINALE.

Dragon, Almidor, St. George, and Chorus.
I'll soon let you see
Your bragging's no go, sir;
You shall pay for this raly,
Altho' you're so scaly.

Dra.
As sure as I'm scaly
I'll lay ten to one, sir,
I'll soon make it clear,
That, like Mister Ferguson,
You don't lodge here.

Chorus repeated.