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Derrick's Jests

or, The Wits Chronicle. Containing A pleasing Variety of Repartees, Puns, Bon-Mots, and other Species of Wit and Humour, Which passed between Samuel Derrick ... and other Persons distinguished for their Wit and Humour. Also A Collection of Poetical Pieces on Various Subjects, By Mr. Derrick and Others. Dedicated to the Public
Derrick, Samuel (1724-1769)
 
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[When Quin, of all grace and all dignity void]
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POETRY ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS.
 
The Hamadryads to Lord G---ve---r, on his preventing some beautiful Rows of Trees from being cut down, near a Place of public Entertainment.
 
Upon the Cardinal de Crema, the Pope's Legate, his being found in bed with a Courtezan, after having prohibited Marriage to the Clergy, by the severest Penalties, in the Reign of Henry I.
 
[Says Dolly—“Me, Thomas, you promis'd to wed]
 
Inscribed on a Column erected on a Piece of Land that had been often bought and sold.
 
On the present Mode of Head-dressing, 1769.
 
Written in 1768.
 
To Doctor H---.
 
Another Answer by Dr. H---.
 
On the new Pavement.
 
On a gentleman who mistook a kept Mistress for a Lady of Fashion.
 
A SENTIMENT.
 
A Remedy for Love.
 
To a young Lady upon her being displeased.
 
On a very amiable young Lady with an immence fortune.
 
To a Lady who declared that Love was a selfish Passion.
 
EPITAPHS.
 
On a Gentleman supposed to have fallen a Victim at the Shrine of Venus.
 
On a Grave-stone in a Country Church-yard in Northampton.

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[Says Dolly—“Me, Thomas, you promis'd to wed]

Says Dolly—“Me, Thomas, you promis'd to wed,
And I, silly girl, believ'd all that you said.”
70

“That I promis'd to wed you, and love you, 'tis true,
But I've try'd you, my Doll, and I find you won't do.”
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