 | The Cavalier daily Monday, April 1, 1970 |  |
Varsity Grovelling
Here Next Year
By Ernie
DC Staff Athletic Supporter
After announcing the sale of
University Hall this morning, Steve
Sebo provided everyone with another
pleasant surprise by revealing
the formation of a varsity grovelling
team at the University.
Mr. Sebo added that a coach has
been found, and that grants-in-aid
have been given to two grovelling
stars.
Jean-Claude Dubois, who halls
from suburban Montreal, Canada,
will coach the team next year. Mr.
Dubois is the only man ever to
remain disgustingly filthy after 12
Ajax bubble-baths following grovelling
competition. A physical culturist
"par excellence", Coach Dubois
stays in shape by diving over 5
Molson Ale kegs into a mud puddle
every morning. When reached at his
home by The Daily Cavalier today,
Monsieur Dubois could only say,
"Ahm so happze opportunity to
sample ze red Virginia mud."
Grants-in-Aid have been given to
Jo-Jo Washington, a senior at
Pharmco High School in Teaneck,
New Jersey, and T. Eustace Delgato
IV, a sixth former at King's
Academy in Wisconsin.
Washington distinguished himself
during the 1969 Teaneck Spring
Grovelling Tournament by being at
the bottom of a 670 pound pile of
human flesh while still maintaining
a record-breaking 4-inch smile.
Jo-Jo, who grovels "for sheer
pleasure," is also famous for his
"dirt-ball flips" off of teammates'
shoulders.
Delgato, a powerful 7′, 275
pound machine, once chugged a
quart of grain punch and ran
through four dry-walls in an effort
to be first "to taste the dirt." He
holds the Midwestern mud sliding
record with a fantastic slide of 27
feet.
A beaming Mr. Sebo could only
marvel at how inexpensive the new
sport will be. The Athletic
Director announced that Spring
Grovelling practice will begin at
3:00 P.M. this Friday in Mad Bowl.
| The Cavalier daily Monday, April 1, 1970 | |