University of Virginia Library

'So They Journeyed To The Ends Of Heaven And Earth'

By JOHN MARKON
and BILL BERNO

When the Cavalier football
team goes on a road trip they
really don't do that much.
They'll take a plane or bus trip,
practice, eat a few meals in a
motel restaurant, play their
game and mosey on back to
Charlottesville.

As such, they really don't
have anything on the hard core
of five Cavalier Daily football
writers who six times this
season journeyed to what
seemed like the ends of heaven
and earth to see them play.

The year got off to a flying
start when Fletcher Thompson,
Bill Berno and John Markon
piled into the Berno Skylark,
free press tickets and expense
account vouchers at the ready,
for the first September trip to
South Carolina.

Things were progressing
smoothly when, on a section of
I-85 near Lexington, N.C.,
Berno suffered a mental lapse
of sorts and placed himself on
Daytona's "Measured Mile". A
Tar Heel State trooper clocked
our budding Parnelli Jones at
79 in a 65 and escorted us to
Lexington, where Markon
payed the $26 fine, the
penniless Berno not much at
contingency planning.

Once in Columbia, the staff
wasted no time declaring the
"Cockpit" press facilities "the
best in the area", and in the
next breath were seen leading a
cavalry charge of major
proportions on a buffet table
crammed with free press food.
Between pieces of fried
chicken it was even noticed
that Virginia had won the
game.

Except for the traffic
citation, this is the way these
trips are supposed to go. Quite

a variant, however, was to
come three weeks later when
Berno, Thompson, Doug
Doughty and Steve Gaske
Journeyed to Duke on "Black
Saturday".

With the Markon Mustang
reserved by the "Charlottesville
39'ers" and the Berno Skylark
deemed too rapid, the "fearless
foursome" jumped into
Doughty's "Ramblin' Wreck"
VW in anticipation of big wins
and good times. They got
neither.

Cars, unfortunately, have a
way of breaking down and, on
the trip to Durham, Doug's bug
told him in no uncertain terms
that it was in dire need of
repair. With a Monday edition
of the CD to put out and
Markon and the 39'ers already
on the road to Longwood, it
was decided that Doug could
stay in Durham with his car
but that the other three should
attempt a return.

Bus fare could be raised
only to Lynchburg and plans
were for an easy hitchhike
back to Hookville. No way!
The first obstacle encountered
was a two-hour layover in
Greensboro, a stop highlighted
by an offer made to Gaske by a
seedy-looking gent of
questionable intentions of fifty
cents and the "thrill of a
lifetime".

Gaske, deciding the price
wasn't right, refused quickly
and the three boarded a
Greyhound for Lynchburg.
Once there, however, they
came to the realization that
hitchhiking is difficult at 5
a.m. when the roads are barren
of cars. The long-awaited ride
back to the U was acquired
shortly after sunrise.

Next was Vanderbilt, the
year's "mega-roll". The staff
drew straws for the pleasure of
going to Nashville and Markon
and Berno, who had the short
ones, were forced to go.
Leaving at 2 a.m. Saturday
morning (so as not to miss rush
parties) they found themselves
passengers (or was it
prisoners?) in a van belonging
to Saxon Holt, CD Photo
Editor with sometimes jock
picture-snapper.

With a little bit of help,
Saxon made the 10-hour drive
in fine style, stopping only to
avoid the parked cars, trees,
pedestrians and other wildlife
he "saw" walking across I-81
during those morning hours.

Once in Nashville, Bill
suggested that a good idea
would be to cover the game the
way the top-name sportswriters
do. John immediately escorted
him to the Commodore
Lounge where our formative
Shirley Poviches proceeded to
get royally looped before and
after the game, also hitting an
alumni reception and a Vandy
fraternity party, both rather
alcoholic affairs.

Our boys then came to the
realization (around 1:30 a.m.)
that they hadn't a place to
stay. A quick phone call was
then made to the room of a
highly-placed University
athletic official who had been
foolish enough to offer us
space in his room earlier. A cot
was brought up, which our
man was kind enough to take
himself and Markon and Berno
quickly declared him a saint
and fell into the sleep of the
dead.

The only thing noteworthy
about the Clemson plane trip
was that Markon made it
himself and atrocity potential
was minimized. John, a
first-time flyer, did have some
uneasy moments upon landing
when he came close to
redecorating coach Joe Mark's
blue trousers. He caught it,
however, behind his teeth.

Only another Berno
speeding ticket marred a
successful North Carolina trip
but Bill's displeasure, quickly
vanished when he cast his eyes
on the UNC press box hostess, a
young blond who definitely
was the "mostest." Even
Barney Cooke, Cavalier SID,fell
victim to her charms,
attractions which vanished
when we found out she was
engaged to a defensive tackle.

After the game, Markon and
two of the 39'ers sped out of
town to beat the crowd at
John's favorite chitterlings
eatery while Bill and Doug
stayed behind for the
Alabama-LSU tubefest at the
Carolina Student Union.

An afternoon of stuffing
himself on press handouts
didn't make a dent in
Doughty's appetite as Doug,
unquestionably the greatest
"whaler" since Captain Ahab,
bought out the snack bar.
Joseph Schlitz was invited
along for the trip back, a
journey frequently interrupted
by "Nature's Call."

Wake Forest marked the
season's end and the year
concluded as it began, in the
Skylark. As only a good meal
can save Winston-Salem,
staffers Markon, Doughty,
Berno and Thompson all
developed hernias carrying
back heaping plates of food
from the buffet. Our very
unofficial tally records 22
pieces of chicken, 15 barbecue
sandwiches, 22 Coca Colas, 18
brownies and uncounted tons
of cole slaw and potato salad.

We were delayed leaving
Groves Stadium when an
uncooperative elevator
operator refused to let more
than three of us ride down at
the same time. "State weight
and safety requirements, you
know."

Watching the USC-UCLA
game was deemed a "must" by
the roll crew and a table was
annexed in a Ramada Inn
outside of Greensboro for the
event. The "Cantina Lounge"
served free popcorn, which
delighted Doughty, (still
suffering from hand-to-mouth
disease) but no mixed drinks,
which infuriated Markon, who
had to be forcibly restrained
from leaving.

And that ended it, six trips
and over 3,000 miles. There are
11 basketball games in the near
future but we'll take them one
at a time. As for now, if some
one tells one of us to "Hit the
road, Jack," you'll have to
excuse it if he doesn't go.