University of Virginia Library

GOP In Upheavel Over Factions

hit the newsstand. Few were
on hand to hear Godwin
remark that the only good
Virginia Republican is a former
Democrat, as to watch the
beads of nervous perspiration
flow from Broyhill's ample
jowls.

Sensing from the crowd's
restless stir the need for a
touch of light relief, the former
governor, with a snap of his
fingers, summoned to the
platform the Commonwealth's
freshman Senator-elect William
F. Scott. The Senator-elect
scrambled to attention at the
podium and selected as the
theme for his endorsement
Godwin's strong record on
education in the
Commonwealth. The former
governor, he reminded his
listeners, had been one of the
brightest lights of Massive
Resistance, and more recently
had been mentioned as a
logical choice for President of
the University to bring order to
that troubled campus.

Rhinestone Pants

At this point, the floor was
thrown open for 45 seconds of
pre-screened questions and
answers. A Seattle housewife,
replete in rhinestone-studded
pants suit, rose and demanded
if the President would be able
to influence the election in
Virginia next year.

Turnip Center

With Godwin's permission,
7th District Congressman J.
Kenneth Robinson beamed
that the President would be
helicoptered to Goochland
County to dedicate a federally
funded turnip development
center, an event during which
Godwin's name would surely
arise. A Mississippi yam grower
queried what could be done
now by outsiders to influence
the Virginia electoral process.
Deftly fielding the question
himself, Godwin announced
that fictitious campaign
committees had already been
formed.

Gavelling the question
period to an abrupt close, the
candidate tossed his hat into
the crowd, declaring that
contributions of as little as
$5,000 would be accepted.

With this we retrieved one
last bruised egg from the
parkay floor and rushed
toward the nearest exit. In our
hasty retreat, we caught but a
fleeting glimpse of a squinting
Dick Obenshain groping on all
fours toward a crushed pair of
eyeglasses.