University of Virginia Library

'Wizard' Turns State's Evidence; Terps Quit

Maryland Withdraws From ACC,
Kehoe Cites Academic Standards

By DORK SPARKS

Those fun-loving,
cup-throwing
obscenity-shouting ACC
basketball fans yesterday
received their biggest blow
since South Carolina left the
league three years ago. They
won't have Maryland to kick
around anymore.

"We're hitting the trail,"
Maryland Athletic Director Jim
Kehoe announced at a press
conference yesterday. "Our
long standing love affair with
the Atlantic Coast Conference
is kaput. I'm through with
their crap. We're going
independent."

Kehoe cited Maryland's
high academic standards as the
reason for this sudden and
unexpected action.

"We're tired of losing out
to schools like State and UNC,
whose admissions standards
aren't anywhere near ours. We
shouldn't have to compete
with schools like that whose
sole purpose seems to be to
glorify athletes," Kehoe said
tearfully.

"Besides the traveling
expenses to Clemson crimped
our budget so we had to cut
down on cheerleading
scholarships. Maybe now we'll
be able to get Rich Porac and
Billy Hahn on the right squad.

Some observers
speculated the move was a
concession to head football
coach Jerry Claiborne who had
served in the same capacity at
Virginia Tech, another
institution that takes great
pride in its standards.

"Finding good agricultural
engineers was getting
difficult," Claiborne said of his
recruiting experiences at Tech.
"Liberal arts institutions like
Virginia could pick from the
whole cow pasture while we
had to look for needles in
haystacks.

"When I came to Maryland
I had similar problems – not
enough guys wanting to go into
hotel management. I figured

the only thing to do was get
out."

Insiders, though, said the
whole affair smelled like the
work of the cagey old
lefthander, Charles G. Driesell.
Basketball mentor Driesell had
suggested such a move in the
middle of the basketball
season, after his "UCLA of the
East" had rung up its ninth
ACC road loss in two years.

"It's unfair that schools like
Carolina and Wake (two teams
which beat the Terps this year)
and us should have to compete
in the same conference. If we
were all independents we'd be
assured of NCAA berths."

ACC Commissioner Bob
James expressed his concern at
Maryland's departure in
Greensboro yesterday. "To hell
with 'em," he said, and then
asked what the area code for
Blacksburg was.

Jack Zane, Maryland's 280
pound Sports information
Director, jumped for joy at the
decision, explaining, "I never
have like the press food in the
ACC."