University of Virginia Library

Adventures In Dorm Living

Welcome first-year men
and condolences to those of
you that have drawn the
distinction of living in the
McCormack Road dorms.
You are in for a unique
experience, unless you
come from a slum, and even
if you do come from a
slum, there are still a few
surprises in store.

McCormack Road offers
a real adventure in living.
By now you have
discovered that the interior
of you dorm looks much
like the exterior, dull,
uninspiring, vaguely dirty, all
around grungy. The doors
are real metal, they get hot
if there is a fire, they bend
if you kick them hard
enough, and Day-Glo paint
will wash off fairly easily.

Day-Glo paint, however,
will not wash off the cinderbrick
walls or the ceiling,
and Housing will hit you for
an exorbitant sum to
repaint the room. Scotch
tape will not hold anything
to the walls for any decent
length of time, and posters
tend to curl at the edges
during the winter. But
obviously something has to
be done toward
redecorating, so buy some
small nails, big ones make
holes in the wall and they'll
really charge you for that.

A Wise Man Checks

Eventually you'll have to
go to the bathroom. Put it
off for as long as possible,
for McCormack Road's
charm really shines in these
jokes. You have a choice of
five toilets, which is
fortunate, because only one
or two are usable on any
given day. The good ones
switch around from day to
day, due to toilet paper
thieves and toilet lid
thieves, so a wise man
checks around a bit before
committing himself. There is
also no need to take reading
material to the toilet for the
first few days, as ample has
been supplied on the rear of
the stall door.

As for the urinals, use
the same procedure as for
the toilets. Somethings they
get clogged, but you usually
don't find out until your
feet are wet. For some
entertainment you can pull
back the flush handle on a
urinal very gently, and at
about halfway you will be
rewarded with a shaking
groan that can heard on all
three floors.

The sinks are not so bad.
They are numerous, so
finding a clean one is not
too difficult. The mirrors
are so adequate that when
using some of them it is
impossible to shave without
viewing the shower-room.

Hopefully you'll take a
shower that night. Again
use the same procedure, as
the showers differ in
temperature and force. This
is at times difficult, as there
are four showers for nearly
40 people. Usually at least
one of the showers is
bearable. For entertainment
in the shower, stop up the
drain in the corner and
watch the water rise. For
even more fun, pour a
bottle of concentrated
shampoo in the water. And
for the ambitious soul, one
of those nifty metal doors
can be removed and placed
in the shower room door
crosswise. This last trick is
recommended only for the
well to do, since the
rampaging water can cause
quite a mess, leading to
more bills from Housing.

Along with all the
unfortunate students living
with you, there is a variety
of insect life. Most
numerous of these is the
small cockroach. Watch out
for him as he can turn up
anywhere in your room.
Anywhere.

Outside Activities

Besides students,
McCormack Road houses a
variety of odds and ends.
WUVA is in the basement
of LeFevre, along with the
workout room, which contains
some really smelly
wrestling mats, and a few
barbells. Echols houses
another radio station, a
chapel, the laundry service,
and the snack room. The
latter is a spot where anybody
can be met any time
of the day or night. The
machines work occasionally,
but the best course of
action is to let some other
joker try it first.

In the basement of
Dabney House there is a
room laughingly known as
the laundromat. Many a
student has entered there
with an armful of dirty
clothes and a hand full of
change and exited several
hours later with an armful
of dirty clothes and a half
full box of wet detergent. In
the laundromat one must
play the same game as in the
snack room, observing
carefully the actions of the
washers and dryers.
However, the odds are a lot
more against you, the
chances of a machine
working twice being about
50-50.

One of the hot spots
of McCormack road living is
the graveyard, a place rich
in history and plant life.
Some of your most unforgettable
characters will be
met in the graveyard late at
night.

If you have only one
wish to use, hope that you
don't ever have to make an
important phone call. You
will soon discover that
Charlottesville is the only
place in America where you
will either get a busy signal
or no answer when you dial
the operator.

For a look at what these
places could really look
like, pay a visit to the basement
of Kent, better known
as the Student Affairs
Office. Notice the plaster
walls and the bright colors.
Notice especially the air
conditioners near the front
steps of Kent. They aren't
connected to your room,
buddy.

The less unfortunate
ones living in Hancock and
Bonnycastle might be unfamiliar
with the conditions
described, since these two
dorms have been "renovated."
They are in fairly
good shape, except for the
bathrooms, but two out of
ten dorms isn't a very good
batting average. If you
really want to get sick,
go visit someone living in
Alderman Road.

There is much more to
say about McCormick
Road, but discover it yourself.
It beats lying around in
your room. One more word
of advice to those of you
living on the first or second
floor; if you ever see anything
flopping outside your
window some night, don't
stick your head out.