University of Virginia Library

Letters To The Editor

The University Has Succumbed

Alas, our little world at the
University has finally succumbed to
the pressure of the modern world.
Never, in all my years of association
with the University did I ever dream it
could or would happen here. But, to
my great disappointment I have finally
seen members of that opposite, and
may I add, inferior sex (oh the word!)
on the Grounds.

Two years ago, the fine students of
the University would have trembled at
the thought of such mindless creatures
stepping foot on the Lawn. But now,
the students have succumbed to the
temptations of the body (goodness,
those creatures have nothing else but)
and have accepted these creatures in
the hallowed hall of this fine institute
of higher education. Who knows what
will be next? No Nostramo, I, but I can
see the stories of your newspaper in
the months to come:

"Last night, the University
cheerleaders voted, unanimously to
allow women to join their wondrous
squad."..Joyce Kilming last night was
elected Homecomings Queen at the
University... The College Faculty
dropped Latin, Greek, and Old
Englishe from the curriculum and
approved a new co-education course in
baton twirling... Advanced hair curling
will receive two credit hours beginning
next semester."

One can already see the effects of
these effete, non-intellectual dolls.
Students have stopped studying, book
sales have dropped tremendously,
fraternities are initiating fewer and
fewer pledges, and the traditions of Mr.
Jefferson have begun to wither and die
like the last leaves of autumn. Worst of
all, however, is the preponderance of
sex on the Grounds. Girls staying in
men's rooms, profanity, fornication,
even necking, and even doing it. What
next, I enquire? Indeed, the University
is in for a long winter.

And in the end, what has happened
to the intellectual community that Mr.
Jefferson planned? Mindless, bumbling
creatures with long hair and lace have
distracted boys from their studies.
They enter the classroom only seeking
new perversions to destroy the minds
of our young scholars. One may ask
oneself now, with some validity, why
these creatures did not stay in the
kitchen (or the bedroom as the case
may be) where they belong?

As a former student and long time
alumnus, I have recently become quite
upset and grieved over the spirit of the
University gentlemen and ladies in
regard to the Cavalier football team.

Albeit that the Cavaliers have not
had the most successful season, their
last minute losses to such stalwarts as
Wake Forest and North Caroline State
have indeed been disheartening to the
most ardent supporters of Mr.
Jefferson's University.

But as a knowing and experienced
elder, I advise in all good faith that
you, the students, do not give up. Life
is full of defeats. But there are victories
too. Ah, but the taste of victory is
sweet. Who can forget the words of
that famous poet when he stated that
the valiant taste death just once?

Do not fear, Virginia. Do not give
up. One succeeds only through hard
work and constant effort. It is this
same spirit that has made America
great. Thomas Jefferson, George
Washington, Ben Franklin, and Sally
Hemmings only succeeded in life by
using those gifts that God granted to
them.

So do not despair Virginia. Give it
the old college try. Go out and win and
cheer your team until you can hardly
speak, And remember, it is not
whether you win or lose that counts,
its only how you play the game.

Recently it has been my great
privilege and high honor to be
appointed Director of a new service
organization affiliated with the armed
forces. As head of Selective Service, I
propose to build a war-ready force of
patriotic defenders of freedom, the
likes of which will set the enemy's
heels ablaze.

With War just over one short year
away, it would certainly be more than
a token gesture if every able-bodied
American male would present himself
for classification as an official
Registrant with our friendly
representatives at the draft board. Free
membership cards and medical service
are part of what we in Washington
regard as a whale of a package deal.
Remember the Alamo!