University of Virginia Library

Around The Grounds

By Ogden Wahoo

A young man presented himself at the door of one of the many
fraternity parties yesterday afternoon and, after identifying himself as
an alumnus of the University, was immediately offered a drink. After
consuming a second bourbon, this young man became violently ill,
which made the president of the fraternity suspicious. He questioned
the young man and, to no one's surprise, it developed that he was in
reality an undergraduate at Colgate and was unaccustomed to
consuming even modest amounts of liquor.

***

Rumor has it that the famous Hula King from Princeton has arrived
for the weekend, promising a drinking bout of record proportion. The
young man gained fame at the halftime of last year's Harvard-Princeton
game when he successfully consumed a trash barrel mixture of grain and
Hula Punch before 25,000 cheering onlookers in Tiger Stadium. The
King will be prowling the Rugby Road area tonight looking for
challengers. Let's hope some University gentleman accepts his challenge
and sends him packing home to Princeton with the rest of the amateurs.

***

Opening dances have swung into action. Females of every section of
the country have swarmed over our man-ridden campus, "oohing" and
"ahhing" at this and that. Not that most of the trains have been met,
the corsages ordered, the evening clothes pressed, and the money
borrowed, the only problem remaining is that of trying to find little
Suzie Sorority, who was supposed to arrive Wednesday. However, the
odds are that everyone will have a good time, and all the little girls go
home and are promptly forgotten.

***

One young man disappeared recently immediately after being
spoken to by a first-year coed. He's probably recovering from the
shock. And speaking of coeds, we hear a new term down in the piney
woods of Alabama — "as lonely as a coed at Virginia."

***

First-year "smoothies" are the curse of universities, but we know
the worst of all. When he first got here, he was meek as a newborn
lamb. Since then, however, one of those shop-worn Webb beauties has
got hold of him, and now it takes three men to get his head and chest
through the front door when he comes back from a suite session.

***

We heard a story recently about a gentleman who called up a Hollins
honey, and thinking it was she who answered the phone, he set about
arranging for a date plus a lot of "close talk." Finally when she had a
chance to reply, the lady said, "Well, Mary's out booning with a real
sharp guy from W&L. This is her roommate, Tubbie Jones." The gent
hung up with profuse apologies and a "gulp-bye."

***

Grad gentlemen, Madison Lane is being spurned. We have heard of a
coed who refuses to walk down said by-way after dark because she
doesn't approve of the "playboys" who inhabit it. Take heed men and
reform!