University of Virginia Library

Festivities Off

By Peter Shea
Daily Cavalier Staff Writer

Photo by T. Jefferson

All ceremonies scheduled for Founder's Day today have been canceled, President Edgar F. Shannon
announced late yesterday afternoon in an emotional statement delivered at a hastily called news
conference held at historic Monticello.

Biographer Dumas Malone, author of the 5-volume history of the career of Thomas Jefferson,
accompanied Mr. Shannon to the home of Mr. Jefferson to explain the circumstances which lead to the
disappointing decision to call off all festivities planned
to honor the founder of the University.

Following Mr. Malone's statement, Dean of the
College Irby Cauthen announced that all classes will be
held as usual.

According to Mr. Malone's explanation, Founder's
Day, which is designed to pay homage to the birthday
of Mr. Jefferson, was cancelled because at 2:35 a.m.
yesterday Mr. Malone discovered that the revered Mr.
Jefferson was born, not on April 13 as has been believed
for almost 200 years, but on August 13.

When asked to explain how a reliable historian such
as himself could devote the better part of 50 years
studying the life of a famous public figure only to
discover that he never even knew when that figure was
born, Mr. Malone stated:

"History is such a fascinating subject, and of course,
our Mr. Jefferson is probably one of the most
fascinating characters in history, next to other greats
like Napoleon, Cesar, Warren Harding not to mention
Spiro what's his face, and Mr. Jefferson played such an
important part in the founding of not only this great
nation of ours but of our entire liberal spirit.

"I of course am truly surprised to find that Mr.
Jefferson was not born on the day we all have grown to
accept as his birthday, but, well, you all know that
sometimes we win and sometimes we lose I mean to say
that, who cares when the guy was born, that doesn't
detract from the great deeds he did

"Why I remember doing home work maybe back in
'23, and found that Tom not only was a great
nation-builder but he was a great person. Today we hear
a lot about liberalism in regards to race relations, but I
have it on first-hand knowledge that Mr. Jefferson
always had great relations with people of all races,
especially with Sally.

"But getting back to the point, whatever it was, oh
that who cares what day he was born on. I mean I can
assure you that he was born. I don't think this is a
disaster, we'll just have to live with the traumatic shock.
I'm sure Edgar will think of something."

As he left the podium, Mr. Malone was asked by Rey
Berry, erstwhile reporter for the award-winning Daily
Progress, whether there was any truth to the rumor that
Mr. Jefferson was indeed not only not born when
everyone thought he was but also that he did not even
have anything to do with the founding of the
University.

"We are investigating all possibilities," Mr. Malone
said. "Right now, it's a toss-up between Alexander
Hamilton and Mr. Jefferson." Mr. Malone then retired
to the depths of Alderman Library to continue his
search for truth and justice.

Reaction to the news varied. Two students, when
confronted with the tragedy, said they didn't "give a
damn" about the festivities. "We were going to sleep
anyway," they explained. However, they did express
bitter disappointment after learning that classes would
be held.

Jim Roebuck and Tony Sherman, two black Student
Council representatives, announced plans for demonstrations
by the 21 and one-half Afro-American students at
the University.

Mr. Roebuck explained that, since there was a fair
chance that the University's true founder was of partial

negro heritage, the University's blacks were going to
demand that the quota of blacks be raised to equal the
make-up of Mr. Hamilton's blood.

When asked if he had anything to add, Mr. Sherman
giggled "No," as he swung his aluminum-plated watch
chain.

At Monticello newsmen asked President Shannon
what Mr. Malone was referring to when he said "Edgar
will think of something."

Mr. Shannon explained that the University could
circumvent the problem quite easily. "I have called a
meeting of the Calendar Committee for Tuesday and we
will probably decide to open the academic year on
August 6 so that we may all be present in Charlottesville
to partake of the joy of Founder's Day."

D. Alan Williams and Robert Canevari could not be
reached for comment.

(For the full text of Mr. Shannon's announcement,
see p. 6)