University of Virginia Library

Meaningful Dialogue

By David Ward

Two old men are sitting on a bench
After an excessive silence, the first
speaks to the second man.

1st: What's the matter with you?

2nd: Glands.

1st: Glands? What do you mean,
glands?

2nd: I don't know what glands. That's
what worries me.

1st: How do you know that's what it
is then?

2nd: I don't know...What else could it
be?

1st: What made you think it was
glands to start with?

2nd: The swelling.

1st: What swelling?

2nd: The lumps.

1st: What lumps?

2nd: In my neck.

1st: I can't see any lumps.

2nd: I know...They've gone.

1st: What do you mean, gone?

2nd: I mean, sometimes they're there.
Sometimes they're not.

1st: Have you seen a doctor?

2nd: Yes. I saw one yesterday.

1st: What did he say?

2nd: He couldn't tell. The lumps
weren't there.

1st: There can't be anything the
matter then.

2nd: They'd moved.

1st: Moved?...Where did they go?

2nd: Behind my knees.

1st: I never heard of glands behind the
knees.

2nd: It was more like lumps.

1st: Lumps, then. It's a funny place
for lumps. Do they hurt?

nd Only when I walk or move my
Besides, they're not there all the
time

1st: Did the doctor see them?

2nd: No. They'd gone down by then.

1st: Where are they now?

2nd: Back in my neck.

1st: I can't see anything.

2nd: They haven't come up yet.
You'll see them when they're up.

1st: I can't spend all day waiting for a
gland to come up.

2nd: It may not be a gland. It could
just be lumps.

1st: Did he give you anything?

2nd: Who?

1st: The doctor.

2nd: I told you. They weren't there
then.

1st: What did he say?

2nd: He told me to come back when
they're up.

1st: The glands, you mean.

2nd: Or the lumps. It depends which
it is.

1st: I thought you were sure they
were glands.

2nd: I can't tell. They could be.

1st: How many of them are there?

2nd: It varies. You can't tell in
advance.

1st: How many can you feel now?

2nd: They're going down again. It's
hard to estimate.

1st: They didn't come up, then?

2nd: Not all the way. They were there
though.

1st: But now they're not there?

2nd: No. Not what you'd call there.

1st: And they haven't gone back to
your knees yet?

2nd: They will.

1st: But there aren't any lumps now?

2nd: Not yet.

1st: Then you're all right.

2nd: How do I know?

1st: If you don't have any lumps or
glands, it stands to reason there's nothing
wrong.

2nd: That's all you know. They could
come back at any time.

1st: They haven't come back yet. I
don't know what's the matter with you.

2nd: Glands.