University of Virginia Library

Letters To The Editor

Vexing Problem Continues To Linger

The thought of Christmas
vacation usually tends to
overshadow, the pre-exam
gloom, and – even if for a
moment – vexing problems are
forgotten. There is one
particularly maddening trick
which will have somewhat
disastrous effects on the
University if it is ignored. At three
p.m. this Thursday, 21st
December, the City Planning
Department will hold another
session to determine whether
or not University Avenue and
West Main Street should be
widened to four lanes.

You all are now aware of
the possible damaging effects
this project will have on the
atmosphere of the Corner, not
to mention the increased
danger to pedestrians,
bicyclists, dogs and squirrels.
At New City Hall, on
Thursday, you will have the
chance to get into the thick of
it, and counteract Mr.
Malenga's 'Facts and Figures
on Traffic Flow' with the
human and environmental
aspects of the situation.

There is a great possibility
of the project being rejected if
enough students, residents,
merchants, and professors put
on a show of force at this
public meeting. This is a real
opportunity to help save a vital
part of the University, and
Corner: –you can state your
piece on Thursday!

(New City Hall is located
opposite the C & O Railroad
station.)

Congratulations

I feel that I must express
my congratulations to the
Department of Maintenance
for their brilliant solution to
the problem that has so long
plagued the grounds; that of
canines running rampant on
the Lawn. Fully realizing that
the recent "leash law" would
be difficult to enforce, those
mighty men from maintenance
have devised an admirable
solution; lop down trees on the
lawn.

Magnifique! Already one of
the pesky posts has been
prostrated, and by the end of
the Christmas vacation the
lawn will be shorn of these
nasty canine toilets. An
admirable solution to a
pressing problem at the
University.

Aha! You say, but what of
the remaining lampposts,
columns, pillars, and pedestals
still remaining to attract the
foul interests of sundry
shameless beasts? Well, fear
not! I have confidence in the
ability of those grandiose
grass-clippers. and I am sure
that the Maintenance
Department is working on a
plan to remove these fillby
pillars and eliminate once and
for all the evil pestilence of
uncurbed canines at Mr.
Jefferson's aesthetic
masterpiece.

Squirrels

It is especially comforting
to know that someone has
finally discerned the peril we,
not only as a community, but
as a nation, face due to
squirrels. I experienced this
danger personally this fall
while touring our nation's
capital. While admiring our
President's home, I was
viciously, and no doubt,
premeditatedly, assaulted by a
wily rodent.

I was paralyzed with fear as
the malicious mammal
maneuvered with uncanny
speed up and down my person.
It was only be shear good
fortune that by shedding outer
garments and running blindly
from the scene I avoided
serious injury from the
tenacious teeth of my furry
assailant.

I commend the staff of the
Cavalier Daily as well as the
Board of Visitors for their
policies and actions in regard
to such grave conditions.
Surely we as concerned citizens
can join together to rid
ourselves of these and other
menacing monsters before
someone else is less fortunate
than I.

'Brother Hector'

I address myself to the
article of Dec. 11; the
"Squirrels Fear Note."

Let me preface my letter by
saying that some of my best
friends are squirrels. I never
have and never will a friend a
squirrel with anything else but
an open heart. Let me use as an
example the squirrel who lives
in front of my room, Hector.
May I hasten to remind all that
Hector of old was the bravest
of the Trojans, son of Priam
and husband of Andromache.
Truly with such a heritage
there can be no doubt that this
is a noble squirrel. I have, upon
my mantle, a picture of this
brave squirrel whose (otherwise
referred to as beady) radiant
eyes shine on me at all times.
He greets me each day with his
usual smiling face as if to say
"Feed me, feed me," Now isn't
that charming! I can not
recount all of the passers-by
who have been delighted at
Hector's friendliness (an
attribute some may call "the
attack instinct.") How could
one be anything else but
charmed to death (which is
better than being bitten, you
must admit.)

If historical date as truth,
Hector was unmercifully
slain at the hands of Achilles
and dragged around Troy
thrice. I see the Editorial Board
of the daily chronicle as
Achilles, who wants to drag the
good squirrel "Brother Hector"
about the Lawn and make the
public afraid. I ask you kind
people: could this be a
conspiracy?